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Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World
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Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World

4.05  ·  Rating details ·  2,842 Ratings  ·  146 Reviews
Lust isn't just a guy problem - it's a human problem. And unless we honestly confront it, lust will destroy our relationships and our lives. Joshua Harris, author of the runaway bestseller I Kissed Dating Goodbye, calls a generation bombarded with images of sexual sin back to the freedom and joy of holiness. This "PG-rated" book - straightforward without being graphic - sp ...more
Hardcover, 192 pages
Published July 28th 2005 by Multnomah Books (first published 2003)
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KC McCauley
Apr 01, 2009 rated it it was amazing
This book does a wonderful job of approaching sexual lust as not only a huge problem, but that of an even bigger problem: our rebellious heart that lusts after sin instead of God. The issue of sexual lust is an issue of holiness and whether or not one is growing in it. This book is written for both girls and guys, and it does a wonderful job of showing the similarities and differences in lustful struggles. I highly recommend this book for anyone to read.

There are many challenging statements tha
Apr 22, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christianity
This is a great book to learn what lust is really about and how to combat it in our lives. Lust is not just a male problem and does not just mean dealing with pornography. Joshua Harris lets us know that God does not want us to even have a hint of lust, whether it is having impure thoughts, reading romance novels, watching romantic comedies, staring at an attractive person, etc. if it does not honor God. It was surprising to find out that he as a pastor and a married man also struggles and needs ...more
Liesl Hathaway
Jun 09, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book may not be for everyone, but it was definitely for me. It is very blunt and gives practical help for the battle against lust.
Probably what stood out the most to me in this book was what the author referred to as the key to escaping the cycle of defeat:
Embracing God's standard for holiness (not even a HINT of lust), His source of power for change (victory of Christ's death and resurrection), and His motive for fighting sin (grace - trust in the undeserved favor of God). Our human tend
Keri (JD)
Mar 18, 2014 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This book and its prequel have created a generation of christian teens who are uneducated in sex, and fear education in it. They are pretending they have chastity devices on until marriage, ignoring healthy urges to masturbate and look at the opposite sex. Guilt reigns their lives WHEN (not if) they slip up from these unreal expectations of themselves to ignore their biological sexual impulses. Abused wives, secretly masturbating husbands, repressed souls. A generation of christian children pret ...more
Oct 19, 2007 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Any Christian struggling w/ sexual immorality
Shelves: christian
Man, I don't know how I would've gotten through the last couple of months if it weren't for this book! Being a new believer to the christian faith, it is a real test to follow the path of Jesus Christ faithfully. And I have had to work really hard and gain my strength in this area a lot! This is one of the areas that I was struggling a lot in and this book gave me the confidence to believe in God in that he will give me the strength to overcome my lustful desires and provide for me.
Saray Lucia
Oct 21, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
No tengo palabras para describir este libro, realmente nunca escribo el review cuando leo algo pero creo que esta vez lo haré. A veces nosotros los cristianos tratamos de mantener una imagen delante de los demás de perfección y pensamos que somos los únicos luchando con algo, y que el resto del mundo no. Que dicha que Joshua y otras personas que han pasado - y pasan - por esto permita que sus historias se han contadas y lo que es mejor, como Dios los ha redimido y como los ha fortalecido en área ...more
Jul 25, 2008 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I REALLY hated this book. I read it when I was in college and it basically asserts that any thought of anything sexual is sin. This guy is kind of warped.
Havebooks Willread
Destry had loaned "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" to a couple friends from church who ended up buying all three of Joshua Harris's books. After reading Not Even A Hint: Guarding Your Heart Against Lust, they asked Destry if he wanted to read it because they thought it was really good.

I have to agree with them, it had some very good points and I've never read another book quite like it. Even though Destry read it before I did, I would recommend that parents read this book before handing to their teenag
Aug 11, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Joshua Harris, best known for writing "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" , tackles the tough subject of lust in his third literary outing. Harris candidly writes about his personal struggles and also recounts stories and insights from others who have written letters to him.

The simplicity of his language and the organized chapter structure make for an easy read. In addition, the fact that he’s done his research is evidenced by the resources he quotes (C.S. Lewis, John Stott, Jerry Bridges and others.. ast
Mar 17, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is the best book on this topic I've read. It's honest and clear without going too far, it's biblical and gospel-centred, and it's very practical and helpful. Starts with an affirmation that "sex is not the problem (lust is)" -- which is the title of the new version of the book -- in a helpful reminder that sexuality is healthy and God given. Next is the simple message that our only hope of reaching God's high standard ("not even a hint of sexual immorality", Ephesians 5:3) is through grace ...more
Aug 25, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is the best book I've read on dealing with lust and sexual sin. I highly recommend it.
Josh Harris, author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, deals transparently with the roots of lust and the real issues behind it. Then he equips the reader with the tools needed to fight it.
The biggest problem we have in the fight for moral purity is that we've let the lies of the world influence our thinking. Josh helps us see where we've gone astray and realign with God.
One other key point about this is that i
Ruth Baker
Aug 24, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was really interesting and looked at the issue of desire in a whole new light. When dealing with physiological urges and whether we listen to them or not, I found this quite informative in distilling my thinking in what living holiness looks like and purity of mind and spirit. Very useful for having a language in pastoral discussions on issues which can be very difficult for people to express themselves.
Anna Katrina
Oct 08, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Joshua Harris has been my favorite author when it comes to topics about relationships, love life, spirituality.

The way he wrote this book is very relatable to boys, and even girls, who are experiencing the hardship of fighting lust. This is a commendable book.

Though it's been a short book, its contents are full of learning and wisdom.
Aug 29, 2016 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
The overall concept of the book is obviously great. But I feel as a whole, this message could be contained in an article.
Tyler J. Collins
Joshua Harris has done it. In "Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is)," Harris captures the lessons and essential truths that have taken me nearly eight years of searching, floundering, succeeding, messing up, and trying again, to figure out. If this book is taken to heart, it can spare many men and women a boat-load of trial and pain.

Harris begins by framing the discussion in chapters 1-3 before jumping into his practical advice. In chapter 1 he answers the question "Why can't we ever seem to beat lu
Nov 29, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is a very powerful book about the importance of avoiding "even a hint" of lust of any kind in our lives. It provides real-life solutions that can be applied to our everyday lives, along with solid Biblical advice. However, this book is definitely only for high-school age and above, as it contains some details that may not be suitable for a younger audience.
Peter Yock
Sep 12, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The simplest and still one of them best books on the topic. Don't be put off by recognising the author as the 'I kissed dating goodbye' guy. This is actually a simple, gospel centred book on struggling Witt sexual immorality with heaps of practical advice for both male and female. I've been reading it with people for 10 years and it's always been greatly helpful in spurring on our conversations, prayers and accountability.
Ryan Hawkins
May 25, 2017 rated it it was amazing
*(I read the title "Not Even a Hint", but am reviewing this title because the book was quickly retitled, with the same pagination and everything from what I can tell)*

This was probably the most practical and helpful book on lust I have read. I thoroughly enjoyed it and easily give it 5 stars. He is clear, encouraging, biblical, convicting, theological, and very practical.

In the first three chapters (Part 2) he talks more about the theology of lust and finding the path of freedom between legalis
Dec 20, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
First off, I want to say how grateful I am that Josh wrote this book. I am so encouraged to know that I'm not alone in this.
Here are some interesting and relatable takeways:
1. Women do lust, but it isn't talked about as much as men
2. God created men and women as sexual creatures, putting the right desires in them to desire each other and procreate, such as men desiring to pursue a woman and a woman desiring to be pursued by a man
3. The main reason men lust is for pleasure; the main reason women
John Brackbill
This is a very good short, readable, gospel-centered, and practical book on this subject. Josh Harris' tone throughout the book is hope giving.

In the first three chapters he lays the foundation for the application section of the book. Chapter 3 entitled "You Can't Save Yourself: Where Can I Find the Power to Change? was worth the price of the book. It is the kind of chapter that I would give to someone to read even if they were not struggling with this specific sin, but were needing hope and re
Michael Ibarra
Feb 15, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I've read many books similar to Josh Harris' take on sexual purity over the years, starting when I was in high school. I only wish I had had this in my back pocket then.

Josh provides lots of relevant, practical steps to guard our minds and hearts in Christ Jesus, while not being fooled by the cunning draw of impurity, be it pornography, masturbation (yes, he uses that word), or fooling around with someone not our spouse.

Something else I appreciated is his reluctance to label this a "male" proble
Aug 18, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
3 a pol týždňový boj počas čítania tejto knihy.. ale boj sa nekončí ... Vidina víťaza - Krista je veľmi sľubná :)
Garrett Schmitt
Apr 25, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I very rarely award books 5 stars, but this was an exception. I only wish I had read it sooner. Unfortunately, I was thrown a bit by the creepy title and so let it sit on my shelf for over a year before picking it up (it was given to me by a friend. I don't think I would have bought it based on the title/cover). Joshua Harris offers a humble and honest perspective of the damaging effects of lust in our lives. And from what I have experienced in my own life at times and in watching my friends liv ...more
Jan 22, 2009 rated it really liked it
I think a lot of people from my generation will dislike this book. Holiness and sex just seem antithetical. Yet, I was thinking recently that a lot of paganism in ancient times revolved around sexuality; a lot of ancient pagan religion made sex the mode of worship. We can read about the "spirituality of sexuality" in various places regarding the worship of cerain pagan gods or goddesses, like Diana, Aphrodite, and Ashera. In fact, the "Ashera poles" were possibly phallic symbols. So the question ...more
The Mole
Oct 19, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Pretty good book. It has most of the same contents I've found in similar books, BUT.. .the major difference is that he clearly stresses that victory is NOT about just having a better plan or a formula -- it's about getting God's help and trusting God.

However, this theme seems to get somewhat lost in the latter pages of this book (with calls to shore up your plans, etc.) But the heart and focus in in the (general) right place.

Still, I think Kris Vallotton of Bethel Church (Redding, CA), put it be
Aug 05, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everyone 15 & up
I thought this was a very well written , un-intimidating look at the sin of lust. The author spoke about this problem without giving inappropriate descriptions. I think it would be good for people to read this wether they think they have a problem with lust or not .
I think that the principles in here can be used towards any unhealthy activity that comes between us and the Lord. Wether it be an addiction, Food , television or money.
He talked about how Lust is a greed problem and how god made se
The Book Man
Dec 23, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Harris gives practical and godly advices for those who are struggling with lustful temptation.
I am not struggling with lustful problem but I decided to read this book because it can help me understand how to be accountable to those who do.
Harris' books are very inspirational to me!

-No one should be ashamed to want to marry young and enjoy the wife (or husband) of their youth. Marriage is GREAT.

-Keep His Word always before you. Hide it in your heart. It will keep you close to Him and
J. Alfred
May 30, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I've heard that short stories "begin when you put the book down". I find that to be true with Christian books as well. They may be good or otherwise while reading, but their real impact will only be visible in the life change that they begin. Anyway, Josh Harris has a lighthearted, comfortable writing style that I like a lot. He aslo goes right at the tough issues without being gross or squeamish.
Very good book: definately the most insightful look at lust per se I've ever seen, and comes with s
Aug 16, 2010 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2010
I did not like the book because there were explanations and teachings that were inaccurate to Catholic knowledge; maybe because it was written by a Christian author. Anyway, not that I am being biased but it just confused me now with my knowledge with the teachings I already know and I regret reading it. I wasted my money on buying the book because it just made me doubt the teachings I already know especially when the author said, "Jesus was completely human and that He also had sexual urges and ...more
Apr 16, 2013 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I was hesitant to read this, as most Joshua Harris books I've read come down to legalism and I always felt like the readers who mostly follow him are people afraid to have any freedom in Christ. This book, for the most part, was a refreshing change. While I still feel like it had a lot more of his ideas and experiences rather than the bibles, it was very well put together and had some important truths about lust and any other sin really, and gave many great tactics as to how to battle lust, maki ...more
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Joshua Harris lives outside Washington, D.C., in Gaithersburg, Maryland, where he's a pastor at Covenant Life Church. His greatest passion is preaching the gospel and calling his generation to wholehearted devotion to God. Each January he leads a national conference for singles called New Attitude.
More about Joshua Harris...
“1. List your own top three lust triggers. How can you avoid them? 2. What time of day or week are you most tempted by lust? What can you do to prepare for those times? 3. Which locations are the most tempting for you? How can you limit your time in those places? 4. What five little battles do you need to be fighting more faithfully? Describe in detail what it looks like for you to fight—and win—these battles.” 1 likes
“The truth is that Jesus didn’t come to rescue us from our humanity; He entered into our humanity to rescue us from our sinfulness. He didn’t come to save us from being sexual creatures; He became one of us to save us from the reign of sin and lust, which ruins our sexuality. That” 0 likes
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