Fine China Is for Single Women Too

by Lydia Brownback

This is your life! You will never find contentment in living for what you hope tomorrow may hold. Contentment is for today. "Why is it that only women on the brink of marriage get showered with household appliances, fine china, and beautiful crystal? Why is it that only brides-to-be obtain the desired goods for domesticity and dinner parties? Do married women cook and entertain more frequently than single women? In some cases, yes, but why should single women who do cook and entertain go without the items necessary for doing it well? They shouldn’t! In fact, such thinking applies to much more than dishware. That is because life doesn’t begin when you get married." —from the Introduction Here Lydia Brownback (a single, content woman herself) shows us that the single life is not a life of lacking, but a life of living. She encourages women to offer their singleness to God, allowing him to make it beautiful and purposeful. "Finer than gold-rimmed Limoges is a life committed to Christ and put to use for his glory," writes Brownback. "He will use it in his redemptive plans in the place where he has set you. Let that be your finest china." Questions for personal reflection, group discussion, and deeper Bible study, make this an ideal book for both individuals and groups.

Genres: Christian Living, Christian, Christianity, Nonfiction, Theology, Womens, Spirituality

121 pages, Hardcover

First published June 1, 2003

About the author

Lydia Brownback (MAR, Westminster Theological Seminary) serves as a senior editor at Crossway in Wheaton, Illinois, and an author and speaker at women’s conferences around the world. Lydia previously served as writer in residence for Alistair Begg and as producer of the Bible Study Hour radio program with James Montgomery Boice.

Reviews

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was simply fabulous. It doesn't mess with the fluff that other books on singleness get caught up in. Rather, it gets right at the root of the matter. God is sovereign (therefore quit obsessing and worrying) and God is good (therefore trust that He knows what is for your good more than you do). It calls us to find our satisfaction, our purpose, our joy, and our hope in Christ alone and it is there that we will find the peace and strength to be content regardless of circumstances. It was incredibly convicting and very encouraging. This will be a book that I can see myself referring back to frequently. I would highly recommend this for every single woman.

[Chrissy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Challenging but probably my second favorite book on singleness (“7 myths about singleness” still holds top spot!). Lydia’s emphasis on God’s good sovereignty was both convicting and encouraging. At this point in my life, it’s honestly freeing and a bit relieving to know that singleness is not my “fault” for not doing enough or being (or not being!) a certain way.

[Caity · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO encouraging and inspiring to live my life in the moment, resting and trusting in God that His will is best for me, moment by moment! :D

[Fiona Boyd · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short book is packed with insightful thoughts on what it means to be single and dealing with loneliness. Throughout the book, Brownback highlights the realities of the human struggle with loneliness and singleness. For instance, she suggests that sometimes our inability to accept singleness is, to a certain extent, our rebellion against God/ lack of submission to God’s will. This is one of the many examples that Brownback examines throughout the book.

Overall, I really enjoyed this read. It was not your typical take on singleness as it provided deeper insights that are not always discussed. Would definitely recommend to anyone who is considering what singleness means and whether God ordains singleness in our lives.

[Caroline McGill · Rating 4 out of 5]

The cover and the title are cheesy, but the content of this book is solid. It’s largely centered around the theme of contentment for single women and I was especially struck by her emphasis of how discontentment is really rooted in a lack of submission to God’s will for our lives. Seven Myths about Singleness (Allberry), She’s Got the Wrong Guy (Reju), and the Path of Loneliness (Elliot) are still my top book recommendations for singles, but I appreciated this one, and would love to see an updated edition. The publisher (P&R) did this book a massive disservice by putting photos of various teapots and teacups on every page.

[Kysa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fantastic book! So encouraging, challenging, and affirming! I recommend this for any single woman whether she is looking for marriage or not. This book can help reorient our thoughts to the focus we should have on the One who has called us to this part in our lives. After reading this book I’m eager to make the most of this calling, whether is a temporary one or one for a lifetime.

[Mic · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful, encouraging, and inspiring must-read for all single women.

[Elizabeth Van Gorp · Rating 5 out of 5]

All single women- young and old, divorced, widowed, or still hoping for a husband- will find great benefit from this book. I just finished and I'm starting it again.

[Krystal Esmi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anyone who knows me is well aware of my feelings in regards to marriage: I don't want anything to do with it. The thought of marrying someone gives me an instant headache and makes me gag. I know, I know. Not what you would expect from an attractive 20 something chaste Christian, but I'm not your average chica; I'm a fine china kind of girl. Anyway...

I bought this book because zombie-like society, and in some cases the church community, likes to equate singleness with futility and uselessness. They also tend to look down on and pity single women. And seeing as how I relish my singleness, this can be both offensive and disheartening. So whenever I find a book written by a woman who stands in my demographic, I check into it.

This was a very short read; you could probably read it in one sitting. This is one of those instances where you don't have to say a whole lot to say a whole lot. The author gave a lot of relevant, relateable information in the 100+ pages of this book. She addressed the many issues that single women face as well as share pros and cons of both seasons of singleness and marriage.

I enjoyed the reflection questions at the end of each section. They can reveal a lot if you're honest with yourself.

I would read this book again and I would recommend it to those who are happily single, desperately single, and those married women who haughtily look down on single women.

[Sarah Esther · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh this little book hurt so good. Brownback pokes right through the systems and practices that our culture has set up exclusively for married couples and challenges that reasoning in light of what the Bible actually says. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a season or paralyzed to take steps towards living the type of life you want to live because you are single, this book eradicates those stipulations and frees us up to fully embrace the life God is calling us to no matter our relational status. She asks provoking questions which start to dissemble the roadblocks we believe are keeping us from living out of our true calling and walking out in the gifts God has placed inside us. Highly recommended to read for both single women & men!

[Hannah Savickas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite my expectation and prior judgement based on the title, this was a non frou frou book. Brownback quickly goes to the root of a heart not trusting in God, and that what He gives and wills is good, breeds discontentment-so commonly found in single women. This book was a good charge to, like Paul, think realistically about both marriage and singleness and to look at singleness as something to be used to the glory of God, not as a hinder to. It “is cause for gratitude and rejoicing” that the Lord used single women through His redemption story and does today too. And why not just buy your own fine china while you’re at it?

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the best book on singleness I've ever read. It's a short, breezy read and yet I was really challenged by it. Highly recommended for the single ladies out there, whether it's by choice or not.

Note: I read the Kindle version and there were a ridiculous amount of typos. Didn't stop me from enjoying it, obviously, but keep that in mind.

[Emma Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great perspective on how marriage is elevated in the church. Not super applicable to myself currently but eye-opening all the same.

[Shelley S · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really useful little book!

[Jessica Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book profound

Finally a book on biblical singleness that honours the reader where they are and not ‘where’ they should be. Encouraging and scripturally accurate.

[Lauren Dunn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most of us already know to not judge a book by its cover. After reading this book, I'd add to not judge an author by their earlier works.

I really wasn't sure how to rate this one - content-wise, I agree with all or nearly all of what she shares about life and singleness, though I would have worded some things differently.

My biggest disappointment comes from her comment toward the beginning that this book was born out of a talk she gave. Unfortunately, it didn't lose that feel - it reads more like a talk or speech than a book.

The main reason this disappointed me is that I LOVE her book that came out this year, "Flourish." I highly recommend that one for single and married women, and I had hoped for more of the same in this book. While "Fine China is for Single Women Too" didn't deliver like "Flourish," it does share some important truth and I am glad I read it. And I got a glimpse of how much Lydia Brownback has grown in her writing, which was encouraging to see.

[Heather Laaman · Rating 5 out of 5]

According to Ms. Brownback, God's ultimate goal for all of our lives is to make us holy. “It is his top priority” she says. Our marital status is merely a way He goes about sanctifying us. Married or single only means God has chosen that for us, for now, to make us holy. When a single woman (or man) is tempted to feel as if something is wrong with her she can think of what God is doing in her life. He didn't forget about her. He has a perfect plan for her which involves singlehood right now. It might even involve singlehood long term, but if so, it's only because that is the way God feels will be the most sanctifying.

Ms. Brownback also gives a new way of thinking about your singlehood. One of my favorite parts was when she brought in the first question of the Westminster Shorter Catechism “Q: What is the chief end of man? A: Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.” If one is single, “God has determined that you will most glorify him and come to enjoy him most fully as a single woman.”1 That's an interesting way of thinking. It's not just about the contentment of the woman, but it's about God ordering our lives so that we can glorify him the most. God has chosen singlehood for you right now because that is how you are most effective to the kingdom. What a wonderful thought!

Much of what Ms. Brownback says in this book can be found in most books written for single women, but again, it helps that Ms. Brownback practices what she preaches. You get a feeling reading her book that if she can do it, you can do it too. Also, she just doesn't hold back from getting right to the heart of the matter and completely backs up all her statements with scripture. She not only encourages those struggling with being single, but she also chastises those complaining against the lot God has given them. I think if I was a single woman I would have been challenged and encouraged by this book. I will be recommending this book to all of my single female friends.

[Gift · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Fine China Is for Single Women Too," is the best book on singleness that urges Christian singles to:

I. Embrace Singleness as a Gift: Viewing singleness as a "good and perfect gift" from God and a "talent" to be invested by maximizing its advantages.

II. Find Contentment and Joy in God's Sovereignty: Trusting God's plan and finding contentment in His will, believing that one's marital status is part of His good design. The ultimate purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, regardless of one's relational status.

III. Dedicate Oneself to Serving God: Leveraging the unique freedom of singleness to serve God more broadly, without the primary responsibilities of marriage.

IV. Overcome Loneliness Through Service to Others: Engaging in ministries and meeting the needs of others to find fulfilment and combat loneliness.

V. Maintain a Realistic View of Marriage: Avoiding an idealized view of marriage and living fully within present circumstances demonstrates trust in God's plan.

[LL B · Rating 5 out of 5]

An intruiging book which has truly opened my eyes to questions i'd never dreamed of asking. Instead of letting you sink into self pity this book with its many stories, anecdotes and life applications (making it a truly interesting read) allows you to consider singleness from other angles: NOT self-pity, loneliness or because i've always dreamt of having a husband, but instead as a way to make great friendships, enjoy a great many activities and freedom, and being in a position to abandon yourself to God's service.

For real women in a real world!

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are single woman, read this book. If you know a single woman, read this book. If you don't know a single woman, go meet one and then read this book.

This was not a deep, theological read, but it hit close to home more than once. The writing is down to earth and relatable, but packed with biblical truth. I admit to tearing up a time or two over simply feeling understood in this stage of life (approaching 30 and single).

[Amanda McGarvey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some helpful insights and reminders of the fruitfulness and gift of singleness when it is centered on Christ!

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Encouraging read. We should enjoy our lives as singles and serve God throughout life.