The Dark Side of Love: The Positive Role of Negative Feelings

by Jane G. Goldberg (Editor)

Many mothers have disturbing fantasies of killing their children. Husbands imagine, with guilt, cheating on their wives. Parents stand on the brink of hitting their teenage children, or may actually do so, while the teens fabricate elaborate strategies of revenge. Hurt, pain, uncontrollable rage, and other forms of abuse also make up the dark side of love. This landmark book has a bold The denied dark side of love that can show us love's true nature. By acknowledging our "negative" feelings, we can come into the full spectrum of emotion and hear the message of our darker feelings, without acting them out. Through this, we can increase our capacity for love. To explain her perspective, Jane Goldberg traces the development of love and hate from infancy. She debunks simplistic myths about mother love and portrays the mother/child bond in all its facets. She explores the hidden recesses of family love and romantic love and shows how the acceptance of constructive expressions of anger, jealousy, and competition can enhance intimacy. Drawing on case histories from her psychoanalytic practice, as well as mythic stories, Goldberg offers insights into the troubling but universal nature of the dark side of love. In a highly accessible style she explores how to develop a "psychological immune system" to protect against the potentially destructive elements in relationships and allow for a constructive expression of love's dark side. Her debate-provoking book should be read by psychoanalysts and psychotherapists, individuals who have suffered from the pains and hurts of love, and indeed, by those who are interested in human motivation and behavior.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction

328 pages, Paperback

First published October 25, 1993

Reviews

[Jacquie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that reveals all sides of love and how to appreciate hate.

[Konstantina · Rating 4 out of 5]

great book

[Wendy Ruiz · Rating 5 out of 5]

So far I am loving this book and its giving me a very raw way to learn of this crap called "love"

[Clara Soares · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting and deep insight about human bonds

[Florentina · Rating 4 out of 5]

The raw side of a sick and twisted love in different dimensions. A very human and real way to explain what we think is to love and be loved.

[Paul Fleckney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quite simply, this book changed my life. I have read a lot of psychology/ psychotherapy/ self-help type books over the years and this is the best by some margin. Goldberg grapples with the problems of love and hate in a way that is instructive, interesting and insightful. I learnt so much reading this book and I can't recommend it high enough.

Tip: The first few chapters are a little heavy-going but persevere. It's worth it.