Accidental Hitman: Laugh out loud comedy thriller

by A.W. Wilson

"The first person I ever killed was my best friend..."

Tom White is an unassuming guy with a crappy job and no prospects to speak of. When his neighbour starts throwing parties at all hours Tom - who’s no fan of confrontation - takes a different route entirely. He commits murder.

But Tom's no criminal mastermind and his dark actions hurl him into an underworld in which he learns that he is rather good at his new found talent but totally out of his depth. Flying by the seat of his pants, Tom muddles his way through his new career, balancing the needs of his underworld bosses, his unknowing girlfriend and his knowing-too-much best friend who shares Tom’s macabre moral compass.

Added into the mix are Tom’s new associates - two scary gangsters who could have walked straight off the set of a Guy Ritchie film, and the mysterious and impossibly sexy Stephanie, who is hiding more than her drop-dead smile reveals.

Accidental Hitman is as heavy on humour as it is on thrills. Generous doses of laugh out loud comedy usher in the storyline which takes on a life – or perhaps death - of its own. As the corpses start to mount and two rival police forces aim to spoil Tom’s game of murder by numbers, it all gets a bit more serious.

Praise for Accidental

This is a selection of the unsolicited tweets the author was delighted to receive from total  @garethtorri hey mate just finished accidental hitman! Awesome book! Couldn’t put it down! Just wanted to let u know! Well done

@sirjs hi. Just finished reading your book. Couldn’t put it down—it was that good!

@timscholesjones Just finished accidental hitman. Couldn't put it down. Can see it being a blockbuster. Maybe a mix of snatch and fight club.

@BirleySmash just finished Accidental Hitman. Fantastic book, really well written and I laughed out loud on the tube a few times. 10/10 thanks

@madbrad84 Just finished your book "the accidental hit man". A fantastic read and had me gripped and belly laughing as well. Great work!

@scottbootland Just finished reading accidental hitman and I loved it. now I'll actually have to do some work during the day instead of reading!

@drewjayjohnson I've just finished reading Accidental Hitman and it's become my new favourite book. Currently on Apocalypse Soup Kitchen!

@wossiejossie just finished Accidental Hitman, I really enjoyed it. Really liked Tom, reminded me of someone I know. 10/10

@stephen_beck I had finished your book today, well done you it was fantastic!

Genres: Fiction, Thriller, Comedy

381 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 13, 2011

About the author

I released my first novel, Accidental Hitman as an e-book in January 2012. It sold surprisingly well and it was an absolute joy to receive unsolicited messages from people I'd never met telling me how much it made them laugh. I don't think I'll ever tire of that feeling.

My second novel, Christ Man. was a twist on the story of the man himself, think The Gospels meets Goodfellas.

I'm delighted to have a new novel coming out. It's called Mute and it's a black comedy, and a thriller, and a love story. And it's got monsters in it.

Cheers!

Reviews

[Hayat]

DNF! I'd give it 1 star for the enticing blurb and eye-catching cover.

I was excited to read Accidental Hitman because I liked the premise and I love anti-heroes but after a few pages, I realised the main character is utterly unlikeable, deeply unpleasant and even repulsive. This is weird, because usually I love my antagonists, a well written bad guy is what makes a book interesting and a hero look good. To me, lack of morals makes a bad guy/antihero intriguing, but not in this case. Still, I wasn't ready to give up just yet, so I persevered for a few more pages but nothing improved, if anything at all, things were going from bad to worse and my first impression was confirmed. There was nothing redeeming or vaguely interesting about Tom White's character. The promise of an intriguing premise and a potentially fascinating character (as suggested by the blurb) turned out to be bland and empty. The narrative, setting and writing style is just not for me. It would be unfair to rate a book I didn't finish so I'll leave it blank.

[Phil Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

As the title suggests this is the story of a normal guy, Tom White (well I say normal but..) who accidentally becomes embroiled Gangsterdom in southern England and becomes a Hitman, (along with his eager pal Colin). Led by the pure greed of the lovely cash packages delivered at first by two very shady gangsters, Cheese and Frank, and later by the beautiful and mysterious Stephanie, our heroes set about murdering whoever they are asked to despite the absurd obstacles and circumstances that his paymasters demand. (fancy dress parties, paintball parties).

The book was a joy to read for me, written in a relatively simple style, no pretentiousness, no writers ego obstructing a good story..every page genuinely produced a smile with either subtle humour or outright macabre slapstick. Add into the mix a love interest (the Luscious lipped Laura) that added value to the story and gave our hero a conscience and some emotional dilemma's to contend with and we have a classic funny murder story in the vein of Tim Dorsy or even Ryan Bracha..there was no pressure on the reader to become moralistic about the killings of seemingly innocent folk as there was the exact right amount of humour to let you just roll along and enjoy the blood letting. Its not at all gory or gratuitous but has an edge that keeps you up those extra minutes or hours till your eyes start to drop.

Highly recommended. I will be seeking out more books from A.W. Wilson

[Natalie H · Rating 3 out of 5]

Title got me on this one. From the first page it was uh oh what have I gotten myself into. There's nothing accidental with Tom. He might've been misunderstood by Frank and Cheese, but he was all in from the start. The first was possibly an accident, everything that followed was to cover his tracks, for work or because they were annoying.
Tom wasn't a complex character, he knew what he liked and what he didn't like, deciding to deal with things in his own way. At one point I thought he was going to off Rosie or the staff and maybe the kid. He wasn't a likeable character and this story was going one of two ways, death or job security. How he got the girl and the best friend back I have no idea. It was interesting but did dip in places.

[A.W. Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's an e-book available on Amazon, Apple, Kobo and all the other biggies.

I wrote this so I might be just a little biased - but I think Accidental Hitman is funny, tense and sometimes more than a little disturbing.

It's a comedy thriller in which the 'hero' gets roped into a world with which he's not really equipped to deal. As the story progresses the comedy takes a back seat as Tom White starts to get to grips with the reality of what he's become and the impact it's having on those around him.

And it costs less than a coffee...

Enjoy!

[Joanne Warren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this very funny novel with it's brilliant characters. I enjoyed going along for the ride, and the protagonists perspective on life and people was hilarious. I can't wait to read more by AW Wilson.

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was not my cup of tea at all. I liked the premise, but the main character Tom was utterly unlikeable and the book, in my opinion, was more suited to men probably. And men whose usual reading material didn't stretch much further than Heat magazine.Awful. 4/10

[Matthew Andrus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Superb book, I really enjoyed this dark thriller that certainly had a comic element, as I was reading it I was trying to picture who who play the characters if this was made into a movie.

[Ray Copeland · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a great work of literature but an enjoyable enough read.

[Mr Craig Debenham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great laugh out loud book, couldn’t put it down.

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

This really is a different book! The style is unusual as is the subject. It is not often that the story is written by the murderer and almost entirely in dialogue. Once I'd got used to the writing style I found the book to be quite entertaining. If you enjoy crime stories then you should give this try.

[Dave Coyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rye twist on a dark subject.

Well crafted story that intertwined everyday life with abnormal, psychopathic behaviour which disturbed me in that it demonstrated how thin the line can be between normal existence and the dark side. The happy ending was an unexpected direction. I would highly recommend.

[Lucy Higton Durrant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not what I expected.....

Far better!
Kind of a murder mystery when you know who the murderer is! The book was really well written and kept me engaged until the end. I loved the different characters and the intrigue throughout the story as it unfolded.
A fab little story that I really enjoyed

[Cartman78 · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm a fan of crime comedy normally but this is a very poorly executed effort.....the main character has zero redeeming features, the character motivations are bizarre, the language is coarse and the plot is complete rubbish. I skimmed the final third to be honest but don't feel like I missed out on anything. Oh and my personal pet hate.....huge chunks of text in italics for no apparent reason

[kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny

Fantastic laugh out loud funny. Really enjoyed this story and found myself laughing out loud although the humorous aspect gets a little lost by the end it it still a thoroughly great read.

[Sian Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was crying laughing within 10 minutes of starting this book! Somewhat rude in places, with strong language throughout, it totally appealed to my black sense of humour. Loved it.

[Ashley Walcott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple light reading, only book I’ve read that I have constantly laughed aloud whilst reading. Have recommended it to many friends who have shared the same thoughts as I.

[Mrs A · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite funny but not a good as christ man

[Mrs Rejharne Nesfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny

Black comedy. It does make you laugh out loud this book with a great story line. You can help but like Thomas even though he loves to kill people!

[Simon Jenner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Murdering an annoying neighbour is a fascinating premise that draws you straight into the book. This book is a dark comedy told in a memoir-like way of Tom’s antics as his neighbour’s murder throws him deep into the criminal underworld. I particularly enjoyed the easy-to-read, conversational style of the book and how the story was not glamorised. It really is the story of the guy next door, so you can picture yourself in Tom’s shoes and really believe in the scrapes he finds himself in. There are laugh-out-loud moments from beginning to end, so be ready for the questioning looks you will no doubt receive from anyone nearby.

[Jonathan Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thought it would be rubbish, but i was totally wrong!

As the title says, I was bored, flicking through the cheaper books on Amazon, saw this and a few others and downloaded a sample, just for shits and giggles!

Anyhow, read the sample, was so enthused by it I thought let's buy this its less than £2 give it a try

Really is good, the only bit I didn't like was the italicised pages, yes I know they are arty farty bits of in head type talky stuff but on a kindle they can be a bit hard to read

Well that's me, now going to download your next book!

Hope that one is as good as this

[Neil · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book right up until the end which kinda let me down a bit, characters who became important in the last chapters were introduced by letting them speak in first person randomly from about 2/3 of the way through but these snapshots weren't enough for them to stick in my head. This caused me to become a bit confused. I do however read whilst in bed so it could be entirely my fault.

Well written and excellently funny, I recommend Christ Man! By the same author and will continue to read his output.

[Graham Terry · Rating 4 out of 5]

After a very good start with plenty of humour although things tailed off slightly after half way. The funnies were coming thick and fast in the first half so probably difficult to sustain.

That said it was a good read which had you wondering how he was going to get out of the situation he was in especially with the police breathing down his neck.

A slight twist (if not rushed) ending in comparison to the rest of the book but enjoyable all the same.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book, really enjoyed it. I can't think of any debut novels I've read recently that come anywhere close to beating this! It had me laughing out loud a couple of times on the train on the way home from work - that's definitely a first!

Credit to the author for his work - I'll be checking out his other short story books now.

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great comedy thriller. Good layering of characters. Great pacing. Only criticism was that I found the author's style of switching to different characters really confusing until I'd got into the style. I would compare to a fledgling Bateman who has great potential regarding story lines plots suspense and noir humour.

[Malachi Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really weird book and it doesn't have the polish of a professionally written book, but I couldn't put it down.
The subject is such a macabre and unusual one, its like driving past a car accident and trying not to look at the damage
to the vehicles. Compulsive and magnetic.

[Philip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable romp which I treated as a bit of a black comedy - not sure if it is supposed to be.

Lots of coincidence and easy steps but the overall effect was fun. No spoilers here but if you like a twist from the first person perspective on being a hitman then it's fun.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant if somewhat unlikley premise about a man becoming a professional hitman by accident. Excellent dark humour written in a light, conversational style but spoiled by a number of spelling errors. That said, it made me laugh and I'll be reading more from A.W Wilson.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

loved this book.laugh out loud all the way

[Winter Sophia Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Funny, Tense, Brilliant Read! I Loved It!

[Linda Reid · Rating 1 out of 5]

Interesting concept, & full of interesting turns, but unfortunately the writing style is poor - and that overrides everything else