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The Way to Love

4.41  ·  Rating details ·  1,814 ratings  ·  153 reviews
Profound love is at the heart of this warm, compassionate collection of meditations by spiritual master Anthony de Mello -- a last inspiring gift to the countless readers whose lives he touched.
Kindle Edition, 170 pages
Published August 31st 2011 by Image (first published 1991)
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4.41  · 
Rating details
 ·  1,814 ratings  ·  153 reviews

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Jeff Maziarek
Jan 31, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Anthony DeMello is my favorite spiritual teacher, so I'll admit to having a bit of bias in his favor. This is a nice little book with lots of wisdom shared in DeMello's usual frank, no-nonsense style. Here's one of my favorite quotes from it:

“Whenever you are insecure about what may happen in the future, just remember this: In the past six months or one year you were so insecure about events which when they finally came you were able to handle somehow. Thanks to the energy and the resources that
Dec 04, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
What a book. This scared and terrified the shit out of me on several occasions. What an astounding thing to do. I've read my share of books on spirituality, but for some reason, this one really got to me. Or maybe it's just the current stage I'm experiencing in my life. I was ready to hear and absorb the ideas/principles/etc it was trying to tell me. It has shaken me up. It has challenged every single thing I believe and hold true. I love challening my beliefs. I love deprogramming. I loved this ...more
Christopher Maricle
If you read Anthony de Mello, you will find yourself nodding. And then you will have to read it again. The concepts can challenging, because it's not your typical Christian spirituality. de Mello will make you face the hardest questions about your one needs, fears, motives and beliefs. And it will change you.
Nov 14, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This pure, sincere observation about life can only be done by someone holy.
Read this with open heart and it will lead you to taste sweetness of enlightenment.
Most priests will interpret bible though what they learn in theology, through the ideas that lived in their mind for years planted by society and religion. De Mello is one of a kind priest.
I'm so grateful for him and his love.
May 29, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: religion
This is a little book espousing a life with no suffering. It teaches that we suffer because we attach our identity to things that we cannot control and are only concepts. Buddhist-like teaching mixed with Christianity.
Jovana Đurić
I usually write quotes, and this one made me write - a lot. First of all, I liked some parts of a book, he really gives us good advices. But I also have a lot of negative comments:
1. He says that we shouldn't look at things through our beliefs and there he goes he wrote it through Bible quotes and believes.
2. Humans are social beings, we live in certain culture, and sorry buddy, but we can't just excuse ourselves from it.
3. I kinda got a felling that all he wants to say is that you can't be ha
This is one of those books that just helps you get perspective. It is done in short chapters that reflect on the meaning of a scripture verse, but does not preach a sermon. It's more about how to see everything for what it really is - not what it has become for us through the influences of our culture or other relationships. Anthony De Mello was a thinker who cut through so much of what we assume we understand, but have not critically looked at.
May 16, 2010 marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
Meditative, contemplative readings that I ponder as I drift off to sleep each night. This book was recently given to be by a wise and gentle soul I know and admire.
Mar 02, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
What a wonderful, incredibly challenging book. While very idealistic in many respects, it also forced me to look very closely at my life, my attachments, my "programming", and to take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and actions. To truly love one has to first truly let go - of one's biases, one's prejudices, the need to be right, the need to be needed, one's fears, even one's ambitions and one's walls.

I will definitely read this book over and over again, in small doses, to try and let d
May 06, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: on-shelf
This was a big eye-opener at the time. It's too bad De Mello isn't still around, as I'd like to see his commentary on current affairs.
Sean Goh
Mar 25, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: faith, relating
Probably the most paradigm-shifting book I've read in a long long while (definitely this year, maybe my whole uni life). Despite being written by a Jesuit priest, the ideas expressed are reminiscent of Buddhism (non-attachment), with a distinct Christian lens. Reminded me of the book I read by Osho recently as well (Book of Living and Dying).

If you read only one book a decade, do yourself a favour and make it this one.
Attachment - how is an attachment formed?
First comes the contact wi
Jan 23, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
One of the most enlightening books.. it's a bit like his book "awareness" , he's stressed a lot on the attachment and clinging to persons, things.
It's one of those books which breaks your denial state of how much suffering that you have when you cling and attach..
Holiness is not achievement, it is a Grace. A Grace called Awareness, a Grace called Looking, Observing, Understanding.
Hannah Petersen
Jul 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: spirituality
i dedicated each morning to reading one reflection and gained news ways of prayer and perspective
Oct 14, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: faves, spiritual
Excellent! Much to ponder in this little gem. I will for sure be coming back to this over and over. De Mello makes holiness/spirituality accessible in the here and now...and it’s so much more about awareness and refreshing!!!
Jonathan Martin
Feb 06, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Fed up listening to Rhianna finding love in a hopeless place? Bored senseless watching repetitive Hollywood rom-coms? Peeved off with those childhood fairytales about happy-ever-after romances? Then digest a copy of De Mello's The Way To Love and I guarantee your life will never be the same again. Okay, I can't guarantee that but it will certainly provide the opportunity to change your outlook on love, relationships and other trifles. Be warned though, you may not like what he has to say.

I bough
Oct 30, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Jenny by: just came across it
Shelves: nonfiction-read
What a neat book, really taking a hard look at myself and how to lead a more zen existence. The whole premise is to rid ourselves of attachments which we hold on to in order to achieve happiness. So, instead of saying "I need this in my life to be happy and I won't be happy until then," focus on existing in the present and finding fulfillment that way. Otherwise our needs and desires lead us in a cycle of disappointment. It was fun to read a chapter and a time and live with it for a while before ...more
Davis Aujourd'hui
I am always on the outlook for other spiritual authors. Anthony DeMello is one of my favorites. I have loved every single one of his books and I own most of them. He speaks in a language that anyone can understand. He empowers his readers to discover the truth that they can shape their own reality through the power of detachment from the things of this world that are not real.

He offers a key to the kingdom of heaven. It is a key that anyone can possess and can experience within their own lives.
Mar 01, 2014 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I previously read the author's book Awareness, which was incredible and I agreed with about 95% of it. This book is largely similar, so if you've read Awareness than you've read 90% of his points in this one. They're still quality perspectives to chew on, but there's little new content here.

Also, when compared to Awareness, I found he was less direct when talking about God in this volume. He does refer to the Kingdom of God and Christ, but he also refers to entities such as "Nature", so it's dif
Don Geronimo
Aug 11, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everyone
Recommended to Don by: Lorna Rockey
The way to love symbolises an ideal: the ideal of loving everyone and everything in life the way that the LORD loves everything and everyone. Without attachment, without binding, without expectation, while humanity is imperfect (and I can attest through experience) this helps remind me that there is a better love out there. Not the kind of love that separates -- that separates love between a lover and a friend. Rather, the kind of love this book tries to cultivate is the love of all equally, wit ...more
This book challenged my thinking around love. Being brought up from parents with the city, and a highly populated school and town, it felt like a dog eat dog world.

It was recommended by an ex who struggled in his own way to find the way to love by letting go of anger. However this book will be appealing to this audience and also those who, although know deep in their gut what love is, find this an affirming read on love.

It's a small book and great to carry around on the commutes into work. Good
Sep 16, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A spiritual read for reflection. De Mello, a Catholic priest almost kicked out of the priesthood for his outspokeness died in his fifties. I find his directness, no beating around the bushes approach refreshing. Whether you agree or not with his view, he will make you think--that is unless your mind on this matter is closed and secured with a padlock. This book will stay on my bookshelf, not donated or forgotten.
Feb 05, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
this little book was totally profound. it slices right at the heart of living life fully. there are bits in it that i still can't quite understand. i was truly amazed at his writing, which wasted no words in saying exactly what he wanted to say. much like his ideas, that life is about being and seeing what is real, beyond the social constructs that cushion us from reality. really, i just kept thinking about the matrix and how what we are living is an illusion. blue or red pill?
Kenneth McIntosh
My psychologist at the time handed me this book when I was in a very bad place and said "Read this." It saved me. Next to the Bible, this is my favorite book of wisdom. De Mello combines the wisdom of Eastern religions with simple Christian faith, producing a feast of understanding that people of any background could benefit from. His insight is somewhat like Eckhart Tolle but much easier to grasp and apply.
Jan 31, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Anthony De Mello's last book. It is comprised of 31 meditations in which he ponders the question of love. I am reading one a day at least two times. I love this little book which is small and fits in my pocket or purse. This is a book I will definitely keep with me and read over and over. It would make a wonderful gift for family and friends. Great food for thought in this little gem!
Oct 19, 2009 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I probably need to read this again - because of the size, this book came along with me for waits in airport terminals, a place and time when I might take offense because I'd spent hundreds of dollars to visit people I love and value. But in taking a step back and taking a look at my "attachments", I can see the author's point. He's accomplished his goal - I am re-evaluating myself.
Mar 03, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
this book is filled with wonderful wisdom. Anthony De mello brings to light that suffering is a choice. He easily explains that it is our unconscious programming that we follow that causes our suffering. I advise any spiritual traveler to pick up this book.
Yulya Roesdy
Jun 28, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The Way to Love by Anthony de Mello is truly inspiring. It is a book that can open your eyes to a different way of thinking and living. This book holds powerful thoughts and insights into love and life in general.
-Yulya Roesdy-
Aug 16, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Ok its recommended by me. Good way to end the day reading bits of this book. I got this book as a goodreads giveaway back in June and I put it on my shelf then went on vacation and forgot about it. This week i rediscoved it.
Oct 24, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
When I worked as a psychotherapist, I shared an office with another therapist. As I was waiting for my next client one day, I came across this tiny book on her bookshelf. Powerful meditations on life, love, loss. I come back to this book again and again. Each time, I find new meaning.
Mark LaPorta
Aug 02, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
can be read in very short times. Inspiration and insight.
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Anthony de Mello was a Jesuit priest and psychotherapist who became widely known for his books on spirituality. An internationally acclaimed spiritual guide, writer and public speaker, de Mello hosted many spiritual conferences.

The few talks which he allowed to be filmed, such as "A Rediscovery of Life" and "A Way to God for Today," have inspired many viewers and audiences throughout the United St
“Of what use is it to be tolerant of others if you are convinced that you are right and everyone who disagrees with you is wrong? That isn’t tolerance but condescension.” 16 likes
“Because left to its own devices life would never produce love, it would only lead you to attraction, from attraction to pleasure, then to attachment, to satisfaction, which finally leads to wearisomeness and boredom. Then comes a plateau. Then once again the weary cycle: attraction, pleasure, attachment, fulfillment, satisfaction, boredom. All of this mixed with the anxieties, the jealousies, the possessiveness, the sorrow, the pain, that make the cycle a roller coaster. When you have gone repeatedly around and around the cycle, a time finally comes when you have had enough and want to call a halt to the whole process. And if you are lucky enough not to run into something or someone else that catches your eye, you will have at least attained a fragile peace. That is the most that life can give you; and you can mistakenly equate this state with freedom and you die without ever having known what it means to be really free and to love.” 13 likes
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