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The Way to Love

4.24  ·  Rating details ·  2,731 ratings  ·  206 reviews
Profound love is at the heart of this warm, compassionate collection of meditations by spiritual master Anthony de Mello -- a last inspiring gift to the countless readers whose lives he touched.
Kindle Edition, 170 pages
Published August 31st 2011 by Image (first published 1991)
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Average rating 4.24  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,731 ratings  ·  206 reviews

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Jeff Maziarek
Jan 31, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Anthony DeMello is my favorite spiritual teacher, so I'll admit to having a bit of bias in his favor. This is a nice little book with lots of wisdom shared in DeMello's usual frank, no-nonsense style. Here's one of my favorite quotes from it:

“Whenever you are insecure about what may happen in the future, just remember this: In the past six months or one year you were so insecure about events which when they finally came you were able to handle somehow. Thanks to the energy and the resources that
Dec 04, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
What a book. This scared and terrified the shit out of me on several occasions. What an astounding thing to do. I've read my share of books on spirituality, but for some reason, this one really got to me. Or maybe it's just the current stage I'm experiencing in my life. I was ready to hear and absorb the ideas/principles/etc it was trying to tell me. It has shaken me up. It has challenged every single thing I believe and hold true. I love challening my beliefs. I love deprogramming. I loved this ...more
Christopher Maricle
If you read Anthony de Mello, you will find yourself nodding. And then you will have to read it again. The concepts can challenging, because it's not your typical Christian spirituality. de Mello will make you face the hardest questions about your one needs, fears, motives and beliefs. And it will change you.
Jovana Đurić
I usually write quotes, and this one made me write - a lot. First of all, I liked some parts of a book, he really gives us good advices. But I also have a lot of negative comments:
1. He says that we shouldn't look at things through our beliefs and there he goes he wrote it through Bible quotes and believes.
2. Humans are social beings, we live in certain culture, and sorry buddy, but we can't just excuse ourselves from it.
3. I kinda got a felling that all he wants to say is that you can't be ha
Shane Parrish
Feb 10, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The most important things in life can be learned but not taught. "You can get someone to teach you things mechanical or scientific or mathematical like algebra or English or riding a cycle or operating a computer. But in the things that really matter, life, love, reality, God, no one can teach you a thing. All they can do is give you formulas. And as soon as you have a formula, you have reality filtered through the mind of someone else. If you take those formulas you will be imprisoned. You will ...more
Nov 14, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This pure, sincere observation about life can only be done by someone holy.
Read this with open heart and it will lead you to taste sweetness of enlightenment.
Most priests will interpret bible though what they learn in theology, through the ideas that lived in their mind for years planted by society and religion. De Mello is one of a kind priest.
I'm so grateful for him and his love.
May 29, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: religion
This is a little book espousing a life with no suffering. It teaches that we suffer because we attach our identity to things that we cannot control and are only concepts. Buddhist-like teaching mixed with Christianity.
Sara Jovanovic
Aug 25, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I think this is one of those books that should be read more than once. Sometimes you'll relate to author's wise words and take to heart his meaningful advice, but I think most of this needs a right moment to make an impact. But it's helpful. And I appreciate that.
May 16, 2010 marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
Meditative, contemplative readings that I ponder as I drift off to sleep each night. This book was recently given to be by a wise and gentle soul I know and admire.
Sep 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
What a beautiful little book full of deep meditations about life, how we have been programmed by society and have lost connection with our deeper selves. A must for every one who is on a spiritual journey (and aren't we all).
This is one of those books that just helps you get perspective. It is done in short chapters that reflect on the meaning of a scripture verse, but does not preach a sermon. It's more about how to see everything for what it really is - not what it has become for us through the influences of our culture or other relationships. Anthony De Mello was a thinker who cut through so much of what we assume we understand, but have not critically looked at.
Sean Goh
Mar 25, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: faith, relating
Probably the most paradigm-shifting book I've read in a long long while (definitely this year, maybe my whole uni life). Despite being written by a Jesuit priest, the ideas expressed are reminiscent of Buddhism (non-attachment), with a distinct Christian lens. Reminded me of the book I read by Osho recently as well (Book of Living and Dying).

If you read only one book a decade, do yourself a favour and make it this one.
Attachment - how is an attachment formed?
First comes the contact wi
Jan 02, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The most important book that brought me on a journey throughout the past week, when I first opened it at the hairdressers, making me reflect on my top 3 attachments; the next day I experienced those moments that can only be described as a “state of grace”, seeing parents and children play in Fuxing Park and seeing the sunlight filter through the windows and cast shadows on the books in the Sinan Mansions bookstore; discussions on depression with my Chinese teacher on Monday; an overall roller co ...more
Mar 02, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
What a wonderful, incredibly challenging book. While very idealistic in many respects, it also forced me to look very closely at my life, my attachments, my "programming", and to take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and actions. To truly love one has to first truly let go - of one's biases, one's prejudices, the need to be right, the need to be needed, one's fears, even one's ambitions and one's walls.

I will definitely read this book over and over again, in small doses, to try and let d
May 06, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: on-shelf
This was a big eye-opener at the time. It's too bad De Mello isn't still around, as I'd like to see his commentary on current affairs.
David Blynov
Jul 07, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book is a mix of Eastern philosophy and psychoanalysis, framed together by New Testament scripture.

Theologically speaking, I did not find myself agreeing with many of the underlying assumptions that de Mello made. After a bit of research, I found out that the Catholic church is also a lil weary of de Mello's theological teachings. Nevertheless, this book has so much beautiful wisdom that it would be a shame to discredit it all together. So many profound ideas are explored by de Mello that
Kennedy C.S.
Revelatory. Empowering. Perceptive. Potent.
De Mello's timeless wisdom and clarity seep through the pages of this little book. Of his books that I have read so far, they almost always revolve around the disproportional influence of attachment and awareness, and this one is no exception to the rule. The Way to Love is filled to the brim with thought-exercises and wake-up calls, which elongate this brief read through copious amounts of thought and meditation, both prescribed and aroused.

Jan 23, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
One of the most enlightening books.. it's a bit like his book "awareness" , he's stressed a lot on the attachment and clinging to persons, things.
It's one of those books which breaks your denial state of how much suffering that you have when you cling and attach..
Holiness is not achievement, it is a Grace. A Grace called Awareness, a Grace called Looking, Observing, Understanding.
Dec 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
An wonderful little book full of amazing information about living from a basis of love and living a life of happiness and contentment.
Mar 30, 2020 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
French is my second language, so I'm not sure if I misunderstood - a lot of this book went in circles and repeated the same messages over and over again. A few key messages were great though!
Hannah Petersen
Jul 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: spirituality
i dedicated each morning to reading one reflection and gained news ways of prayer and perspective
Oct 14, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: faves, spiritual
Excellent! Much to ponder in this little gem. I will for sure be coming back to this over and over. De Mello makes holiness/spirituality accessible in the here and now...and it’s so much more about awareness and refreshing!!!
Jonathan Martin
Feb 06, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Fed up listening to Rhianna finding love in a hopeless place? Bored senseless watching repetitive Hollywood rom-coms? Peeved off with those childhood fairytales about happy-ever-after romances? Then digest a copy of De Mello's The Way To Love and I guarantee your life will never be the same again. Okay, I can't guarantee that but it will certainly provide the opportunity to change your outlook on love, relationships and other trifles. Be warned though, you may not like what he has to say.

I bough
Oct 30, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Jenny by: just came across it
Shelves: nonfiction-read
What a neat book, really taking a hard look at myself and how to lead a more zen existence. The whole premise is to rid ourselves of attachments which we hold on to in order to achieve happiness. So, instead of saying "I need this in my life to be happy and I won't be happy until then," focus on existing in the present and finding fulfillment that way. Otherwise our needs and desires lead us in a cycle of disappointment. It was fun to read a chapter and a time and live with it for a while before ...more
Jaivignesh Venugopal
This was very difficult for me to go through because almost everything that was written either felt like common sense or just completely wrong. A friend recommended this book to me, so I took the extra effort to not put the book down too quickly. But woah, this was pretty bad. Ratings are above 4, so I guess I might be the odd one out here but I really wonder what people enjoyed by reading this. To each his own I guess.

Most of his concepts were so repetitive and most of the time, the chapter ti
Davis Aujourd'hui
I am always on the outlook for other spiritual authors. Anthony DeMello is one of my favorites. I have loved every single one of his books and I own most of them. He speaks in a language that anyone can understand. He empowers his readers to discover the truth that they can shape their own reality through the power of detachment from the things of this world that are not real.

He offers a key to the kingdom of heaven. It is a key that anyone can possess and can experience within their own lives.
Mar 01, 2014 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I previously read the author's book Awareness, which was incredible and I agreed with about 95% of it. This book is largely similar, so if you've read Awareness than you've read 90% of his points in this one. They're still quality perspectives to chew on, but there's little new content here.

Also, when compared to Awareness, I found he was less direct when talking about God in this volume. He does refer to the Kingdom of God and Christ, but he also refers to entities such as "Nature", so it's dif
Don Geronimo
Aug 11, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everyone
Recommended to Don by: Lorna Rockey
The way to love symbolises an ideal: the ideal of loving everyone and everything in life the way that the LORD loves everything and everyone. Without attachment, without binding, without expectation, while humanity is imperfect (and I can attest through experience) this helps remind me that there is a better love out there. Not the kind of love that separates -- that separates love between a lover and a friend. Rather, the kind of love this book tries to cultivate is the love of all equally, wit ...more
Nov 13, 2018 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This book was suggested to me by someone I met a couple months ago. She seems very kind. I was looking forward to reading it. She knew I was Catholic and I believe she said she was Catholic. Overall, it does have some points worthy of pondering, however as I continued reading, some alarm bells were going off. I saw that the author was a Jesuit priest so I thought that might explain it, but as I kept reading, I became more concerned...; it just didn't sound...Catholic..... I looked up the author ...more
This book challenged my thinking around love. Being brought up from parents with the city, and a highly populated school and town, it felt like a dog eat dog world.

It was recommended by an ex who struggled in his own way to find the way to love by letting go of anger. However this book will be appealing to this audience and also those who, although know deep in their gut what love is, find this an affirming read on love.

It's a small book and great to carry around on the commutes into work. Good
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Anthony de Mello was a Jesuit priest and psychotherapist who became widely known for his books on spirituality. An internationally acclaimed spiritual guide, writer and public speaker, de Mello hosted many spiritual conferences.

The few talks which he allowed to be filmed, such as "A Rediscovery of Life" and "A Way to God for Today," have inspired many viewers and audiences throughout the United St

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“Of what use is it to be tolerant of others if you are convinced that you are right and everyone who disagrees with you is wrong? That isn’t tolerance but condescension.” 20 likes
“Because left to its own devices life would never produce love, it would only lead you to attraction, from attraction to pleasure, then to attachment, to satisfaction, which finally leads to wearisomeness and boredom. Then comes a plateau. Then once again the weary cycle: attraction, pleasure, attachment, fulfillment, satisfaction, boredom. All of this mixed with the anxieties, the jealousies, the possessiveness, the sorrow, the pain, that make the cycle a roller coaster. When you have gone repeatedly around and around the cycle, a time finally comes when you have had enough and want to call a halt to the whole process. And if you are lucky enough not to run into something or someone else that catches your eye, you will have at least attained a fragile peace. That is the most that life can give you; and you can mistakenly equate this state with freedom and you die without ever having known what it means to be really free and to love.” 19 likes
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