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Positive Discipline for Teenagers: Empowering Your Teens and Yourself Through Kind and Firm Parenting
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Positive Discipline for Teenagers: Empowering Your Teens and Yourself Through Kind and Firm Parenting

3.93  ·  Rating details ·  249 ratings  ·  38 reviews
Positive Parenting for Those Important Teen Years
Adolescence is often a time of great stress and turmoil—not only for kids going through it, but for you, their parents as well. During the teen years, kids aggressively begin to explore a new sense of freedom, which often leads to feelings of resentment and powerlessness for parents who increasingly are excluded from their c
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Paperback, Second Edition, 368 pages
Published April 6th 2000 by Harmony (first published January 24th 1994)
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Average rating 3.93  · 
Rating details
 ·  249 ratings  ·  38 reviews


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Abby
Mar 14, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Some good info on being positive and communication, but I didn’t see any discipline in this book and overall I just found it confusing with a lot of what not to do and not so much of what TO do.
Shelli
Jan 11, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
My daughter noticed this book on my tablet and asked why I was reading it. Thankfully things have gone well so far on this teenage journey; however we are only just at the beginning. I told her that I would rather gather information before there is a problem so when and if those problems arise I might better handle them. She replied by telling me how smart of a mother she has; I rather love her. I found this book by accident and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time, when I need to start ...more
Henrique Zamboni
Jul 30, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read this book mainly because of my work. I’m not a parent, but I’m always in touch with teenagers in the classroom. I’m an English language teacher based in São Paulo, Brazil, and I can safely say that this book has given me a lot of useful insights and I do feel more resourceful now. I’m looking forward to reading Positive Discipline in the Classroom now.
Lora
May 17, 2010 rated it it was amazing
I am a psychotherapist working with teens and families. I give this book to almost all of my parents at our first session. I often hear back that after reading the first few pages, they felt a huge sense of relief. I highly recommend this book for every parent!
Catherine
Sep 04, 2018 rated it it was ok
This book leaves you with the unrealistic idea that if parents would just be respectful and willing to talk out/negotiate every little thing with their teen, everything will be fine. "Move over to the co-pilot's seat so you can have a positive influence on your teens without trying to run their lives." There's nothing in here about discipline.
Lisa
Mar 24, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I didn’t really get this book. There’s no advice and no ideas on how to discipline in any way. Why is it called positive discipline? If you’re looking for a book to tell you what you’re doing wrong (yelling, not listening, reacting too quickly or without all the information) then this may be helpful. If you are looking for ways to help with what you’re doing wrong, this is not the book for you.
Mary Lou
Sep 09, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Great parenting book

I like the positive approach. I also learned a lot about how to empower and not enable or rescue my teen.
Laurie
Jun 26, 2019 rated it really liked it
Enjoyed this book, always open to new ideas
Amy Banamy
When you buy a book on accident and read it anyway. Parenting books are fascinating.
Michelle Weijia
Jan 01, 2020 rated it really liked it
Notes for myself:
- useful and practical
- would recommend
Juliana Oliveira
Great read for parents- it is important that both parents read it and align / agree on it. Really strong help to improve the quality of parents & teens relationships ...more
Sandy  Kemp
The first part was quite good, and there was some useful information about helping the teen recognize their emotions, a table of personality types at the end (which probably should have been way in the beginning), and a few other parts I found helpful. I liked the reminders that your relationship with your child is precious and the most important thing.

Having said that - it's also important to try to help your teen make good choices. I do not believe that letting them do whatever they want and j
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Michelle
Jul 14, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
There were parts of this book I didn't relate to very well--it could be a little over-the-top with the psychobabble, spent a lot of time trying to convince me that I had childhood "issues" I had to deal with first (If I'm going to wait to parent until I have all *my* childhood issues taken care of, I may as well have given up before I started) and there were some pretty, um, OK incredibly lenient examples in the book. (Fifteen-year-old-girl --"Hey, mom, I know how much you worry, so I'm going to ...more
H
Sep 01, 2012 rated it liked it
Like all parenting books, this one has to be read with a large grain of salt. But it has enough wisdom in it to make it worth the read. I know it has helped me remember that with teens, sometimes you just have to let them have the snit.... I also think that the advice to be kind is well worth it, because it is way too easy to forget just how sensitive these kids still are. I also appreciate the being "firm" part, as it helps me when I hate saying "no" to remember that it is really helping them w ...more
Corrie
Apr 19, 2011 rated it it was amazing
This approach to parenting is a complete paradigm shift for me. I appreciate Rachel sharing information about this author. I grew up with controlling parents and know first hand just how well that works out - you'd think I wouldn't repeat it, but then it's all I've known. This book makes sense and I know it will be hard to implement, but I think Rachel is right. This is how we should parent.
Kelly
Feb 12, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this book. I knew that the ideas would be great. Jane Nelson and Lynn Lott always have great tools and suggestions. But this book was so much heavier on the "whys" than the other books in the PD sereies that I really got a lot more out of it. I will definitely be revisiting this book in the years to come.
Cassandra
Aug 13, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, parenting
3.5 stars

I'm very intrigued by the parenting ideas in this book but am unsure of how they will translate into an older child adoption. The book assumes that the parent has already raised their child for 13 years. We're adopting an 11 year old and will be starting from scratch. Will some of these ideas work with her as well? It will be interesting to see what happens.
Alicia
Sep 18, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents of teenagers who need a new (long-term) approach
Recommended to Alicia by: my mom
Very interesting book. It helped me adjust my perspective on parenting teenagers. At first the book seemed too "easy" on obnoxious behavior, but I've been amazed how the calm approach really does work better than the controlling approach!
Colleen
Sep 06, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was the first respectful book I've read on parenting teens. The author believes in the fundamental dignity of children, adolescents and adults, and gives useful advice, placing responsibility for the relationship where it belongs-- with parents.
Tracy
Aug 30, 2008 rated it liked it
Good but mostly aimed at families where the children aren't TOO troubled. Not totally realistic for me but still worth reading with some good suggestions.
Anji
Mar 19, 2009 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
i know kena is only twelve, just prepping myself. some good stuff, some not so good.
Krista
Jun 04, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Just re-read this. First time was about 5 yrs ago and I'd slipped back into some bad habits. It's an excellent approach to discipline (vs. punishment) coming from love and respect.
Shelley
Jan 26, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
great advice and helps get into a teens head. it's helping us a lot!
Adziah Aziz
Jul 21, 2011 rated it really liked it
Telling & guiding us on how to handle our teens who is learning to be an adult.
Very informative & important to all the parents.
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Littlecloud
Aug 11, 2011 rated it really liked it
The kids in this book seem extremely mean- and They actually talk to their parents. Both of those are definitely NOT me. But some kids are like that, I guess
Alison
Dec 24, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book will help you understand the mind of the teenager. Excellent. I highly recommend this book for parents of teens.
Andre Zollars
Feb 11, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Great insight into parenting teenagers with lots of practical, useable advice. I know this will help me be a better parent!
Stephanie
Mar 07, 2013 rated it really liked it
If you have a teenager, you should read this book. It will bring welcome insight, relief and guidance for this phase in your and your child's life.
David Lynch
May 04, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was the companion book to a 6-week parenting course I took. Very helpful and has improved relations greatly between my tween and I!
Dru
Another in a long line of books attempting to make it easier on parents to raise teens. Not enough "get to the point" here. I just couldn't slog through another book like this.
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Dr. Jane Nelsen is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor in South Jordan, UT and Carlsbad, CA.

She is the author and/or coauthor of the Positive Discipline Series.

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Are you having a difficult time reading these days? If so, you're not alone. Since the pandemic began, I've found it harder to concentrate on...
71 likes · 34 comments
“Stress is the space between your thoughts of how life should be and how life really is. This” 1 likes
“Although it may seem otherwise, teens have not grown up yet. Their behavior is only temporary. Teens want to explore how they are different from their families, how they feel and what they think about things, and what their own values are. This process of separation from the family is called” 0 likes
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