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I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister

3.66  ·  Rating details ·  638 ratings  ·  217 reviews
For readers of The Tyrant’s DaughterOut of Nowhere, and I Am Malala, this poignant story about two Muslim sisters is about love, loss, religion, forgiveness, women’s rights, and freedom.

Two sisters. Two lives. One future.

Sohane loves no one more than her beautiful, carefree younger sister, Djelila. And she hates no one as much. They used to share everything. But now, Dje
Hardcover, 152 pages
Published August 5th 2014 by Delacorte Press (first published March 9th 2005)
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3.66  · 
Rating details
 ·  638 ratings  ·  217 reviews

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Feb 18, 2014 added it
Recommended to Kelly by: Terry (
This is a tiny little punch of a book! It's not even 150 pages but it packs in a lot.

Sohane and Dejlila are sisters in a housing project in France. Both are Muslim. The story picks up and we know that Dejlila has been killed by a boy who lives in the project who thinks it's his job to police how people look and behave. The story unfolds as Sohane talks about how that moment came to be. It's a story about their devotion to one another as sisters, as well as a story about how French laws make wear
Michelle Wrona
This review can also be found on A Thousand Lives Lived, check it out for more!

For readers who enjoyed The Tyrant's Daughter? Yeah... Not so much. I actually did read that one and ADORED it fully which is one of the reasons and factors that took me to request a copy of this book. I was lurking around YA fiction for diversity and something new that would catch my eye with the contemporary aspect. To be honest, this wasn't what I was expecting and just a meh-read that thankfully was short and swee
Book Riot Community
Sohane and Dejlila are sisters in a housing project in France. Both are Muslim. When the story begins, we know Dejlila has been killed by a boy who lives in the project who thinks it’s his job to police how people look and behave. As Sohane talks about how that moment came to be, we learn about the devotion that she and her sister had to one another.

In France, wearing a head scarf in the public classroom is illegal. When Sohane decides she’s going to wear the head scarf as a means of pride in he
Dec 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Have you ever regretted not picking up a book sooner?

This is the case for me now!

I can’t believe this book has been lying on my TBR shelf for so long and I only picked it up because I was in dire need of a short read to meet my reading goals before years end.

It’s a story about two close sisters, Sohane and Djelila, and how they have kind of drifted apart.

Algerians, born and raised in France, Sohane was in a love/hate relationship with her sister, Djelila, who have started to spend her days with
Aug 07, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: young-adult, 2015
This was a really good novel for how short it is. At 146 pages, it really packs a punch.

I would not recommend this book to people who need extensive character and setting development (I wasn't aware that the setting was France until they spoke about being French). The plot moves very quickly and can sometimes feel a little rushed because the chapters are short, and they switch from past to present each chapter. For example, you are introduced to the characters, Sohane and Djelila, and then the n
Jun 17, 2018 rated it it was ok
I expected this to be so much more?
E. Anderson
Aug 11, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Sometimes a book comes along that punches you in the gut. This is one of those books. I LOVE I HATE I MISS MY SISTER by French author Amélie Sarn has recently been translated into American English so that all of us on this side of the Atlantic can feel that gut punch. Believe me, this is something you want.

Skipping back and forth in time, this novel follows Sohane, the "good girl" to her younger sister Djelila's "wild child." While Djelila is taunted by neighborhood kids for not dressing modestl
A.K. Lindsay
Sep 01, 2014 rated it did not like it

This was the book I was most excited to receive for my birthday. As someone who is not Muslim, I was eager for the insight into a different culture. I was mildly disappointed to learn that the author was not writing out of experience, but she seemed to have done her research about the Muslim culture, so I tried to set aside that disappointment and judge the book on its own merit.

The first thing I noticed about the book was the stilted style. It doesn't flow smoothly. Because of the stiff p
I'm having mixed thoughts on this one, so I'm going to do a Pros and Cons list before summing up my overall rating:


* Interesting idea.
* Persuades discussion concerning freedom.
* Gives a good look at a different perspective (Non-White, Muslim POV).
* Based on true events.
* Intriguing relationship between two sisters.
* Nice character development for the sisters individually.


* Writing style did not appeal to me.
* At times the main character really got on my nerves.
* Plot seemed a little all
May 24, 2014 rated it really liked it
Short but powerful. Very simplistic but even though the issues are complex the real issues really aren't so it works. Two sisters. Muslim. One prefers to follow her religion more closely than the other does. The two are good friends and inseparable at home but don't really talk to each other all that much at school. The decision of the older sister to wear a head scarf is met with threats of expulsion (this takes place in France and the law banning religious attire like head scarves has just bee ...more
Rhein Fathia
Apr 02, 2015 rated it really liked it
What should I say? Membaca ini saya merasa tertampar. Seharusnya, beginilah novel remaja Islam. Halus, mengalir, penuh konflik, dan memang beginilah realita mayoritas penduduk muslim di dunia (bukan di Indonesia).

Membaca ini membuka mata tentang bagaimana esensi Islam itu sendiri. Sebagai agama, sebagai pedoman hidup, sebagai budaya. Saya berkaca-kaca dan sesak napas membaca kisah cinta dan pergolakan dalam buku ini.
Sarah Hannah
Well, wow. I wasn't sure what to expect from this one, but it hit me hard.

I find it hard to critique translations, because I don't know what lapses in writing quality or uses of language are the translator's versus the author's. Having read only a couple contemporary(ish) French novels in translation (off the top of my head I can think of Bonjour Tristesse and Breathe), the writing style seemed like how I remember the others - that is, spare and also with a lot of tonal things that I think Amer
Mar 14, 2015 rated it really liked it
Detailing the story of two sisters, told from the older sister's point of view. Djelia and Sohane are in a Muslim family, born in France but with ancestral roots in Algeria. Djelia is less interested in religion and its restrictions, where Sohane is exploring her religious expression by wearing a head scarf, which is against the rules of her school and causes her to begin correspondence coarses.

The book is short, beautiful and tragic. Throughout, Sohane is missing her sister, wracked with guilt
Dec 23, 2015 rated it it was ok
Shelves: 2015, young-adult
This book was inspired by the murder of Sohane Benziane. I didn't know that going in, and instead I learned about it in the book's acknowledgements. It didn't sit well with me that the book's protagonist, who was at times pretty unlikeable, was also named Sohane. I liked that she was open with the dark and often cruel thoughts that her jealousy provoked, though found her to be stubborn in her beliefs. She was clearly intelligent, and with such big ideas being thrown around, I wished that she was ...more
I'd give this one 4.5 stars.

Lovely, sad story. I loved the contrast of Sohane and Djelila - one sister banned from school for wearing a headscarf (thus making her TOO religious), and one tormented and attacked by boys in her neighborhood for wearing tight clothes, flirting with boys, etc. (not religious enough). This book really invites the reader to consider women's rights, from both a religious cultural and secular state perspective.

But more than that, it's just about two sisters who love eac
Aug 12, 2015 rated it really liked it
I picked up this book based on a recommendation. It's a YA novella about two sisters who express themselves in ways that are odds with their faith and/or society and the tragic consequences of their choices. I think this is a fine read for young people especially for those looking to read about a culture outside their own. Keep in mind this could be a tough read for some younger readers.
Krissy Ronan
Jun 07, 2015 rated it really liked it
Sad. Beautiful. Moving. Teen sisters dealing with opposite feelings about their family's culture and religion. It's leaving me feeling a bit heartbroken and drained but still thinking about the connections between the characters' struggles and what's happening in our society today.
NYC Reads 365
"Two sisters close in age, sharing a bedroom and sometimes their clothes. Two sisters, two paths, headscarf (hijab) versus tight jeans, prayers vs. volleyball. Two sisters—but one tragedy that destroys their family. Based on the true story of a hate crime in France."
May 23, 2014 rated it liked it
I thought this was a really interesting cultural read (focused on Algerian immigrant community in France) but never really connected with the story ... since the whole plot was kind of laid out from the first page everything felt really predetermined. Still really glad I read it.
Megan Carolin
very quick read-an hour or two is all you need to finish! but it was intriguing and eye opening
Sarah Cavar
May 17, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2018
* Major trigger warning for misogynistic violence in this book. *

Read in one sitting; it's a quick read. The writing was cheesy at times, and the center plot point of the novel was tough to stomach. But both sisters grow, apart & together, in realistic and heartwarming ways –– the characterization of the sisters really drives the story.

What I loved was the way this book subtly and cleverly drew attention to the Islamophobic double-standards around freedom, self-expression, and media coverage
Megan Pyle
Dec 07, 2017 rated it liked it
"I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister" is a book about two Muslim sisters who take very opposite lifestyles when it comes to their religion. One sister, Sohane, takes the more traditional rout of following the rules of the Muslim tradition while her sister, Djelila, decides to become more secular. Both girls experience hatred for either not being "Muslim enough" or not being "secular enough." I enjoyed reading this book and seeing the struggles that Muslim Americans face every day. As the main charact ...more
An important read. I struggled to fully connect with the characters and at 150 pages, wish it had been longer as I felt it mainly focused on the past and so the ending was rushed. I didn't know this story was actually based on fact and only discovered this reading the acknowledgements, which makes it all the more heartbreaking.
Kathryn Lovell
Nov 21, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: personal
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Katelyn McGraw
Nov 14, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: have-read
I had heard about this book for a long time and I have seen it at many book stores. I believe I even picked it up one time to read what it was about. However, I never read it. I enjoyed reading this book. I thought that it was very relatable with the emotions and relationship that comes with siblings. You love them the most and they anger you the most as well. I respected the relationship that the girls had with each other and I found their difference of belief to be interesting. I like how the ...more
Addison Smallwood
Jan 15, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: young-adult
I would give this book 3.8 stars, so I rounded up to four.

This is a quick, enlightening read. If you're looking for complex characters, concepts, and plot twists, this may not be a book you will particularly enjoy. It does, however, trace a touching story of love, pain, loss, and resilience.

The characters are fairly straightforward, and the book's themes and implications are easy to observe. Since the story is inspired by a true event in which a young girl was burned alive in France, the author
Alyse Hayden
Jun 28, 2015 rated it really liked it
I enjoyed this book. I have never read a book like this before and I found that I really enjoyed it. It was great to read a book that was engaging and interesting while also being educational. It shed light on feminism, religion, freedom, family, and loss. It was such an easy read for me because I was interested the whole time. I read it in only a few hours not only because it was a short book but because I wanted to keep reading it.
I have to say that at the beginning of the story I was a littl
I love I hate I Miss My Sister was not my favorite book of all time, and if GoodReads did half stars (PLEASE GoodReads! Hear my repeated cries!!) I would give this book about two and a half stars. The writing style simply did not appeal to me. Though I will give some benefit of the doubt to the things which were lost in translation, I thought that Sarn's choice to use present tense while describing the past and past tense while describing the present was an odd one. The style was also quite post ...more
Chasia Lloyd
Mar 10, 2015 rated it liked it
This is a short book with a compelling and dramatic storyline, a sweet and realistic relationship between two dynamic sisters, and a call to critical thinking about Muslim women and feminism. Yet it all falls a little flat - the non-linear timeline is a little hard to keep up with, the 1st and 2nd person POV change is jarring (which may be the translation's fault), and overall it just feels like a quick summary of events with Sohane's feelings sprinkled across the pages.

For all it's faults, the
Feb 04, 2017 rated it did not like it
Shelves: family
This is an add to my previous review (under the dotted/dashed line) because I've been thinking about this book lately and authors writing about cultures, social issues etc that aren't native to them. It is great that they do, but when they do, it's important to get it right and not layer on thick stereotypes.

Furthermore, while I did take away things from this story I don't think it was right for a non-own voices author to write this narrative in the way that they did because it has reinforced th
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Play Book Tag: I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister/ Amélie Sarn - 5 stars 4 15 Jun 01, 2018 01:03PM  
Culture 1 4 Nov 28, 2015 08:49PM  
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Amélie Sarn-Cantin, née le 4 mars 1970, est une romancière française, illustratrice de bandes dessinées et traductrice. Après avoir passé son enfance à la campagne et quelques années à l’université de Rennes, elle décide de se consacrer uniquement à l’écriture.
En avril 2002, Sarn publie son premier roman pour adultes Elle ne pleure pas, elle chante. On lui doit aussi l’adaptation du fameux dessin
“These young girls came here expecting hospitality and warmth, and here we are giving them morality lessons. I’ve had three husbands and twelve children, of which eight are girls, so I feel I know that each one of us has to find her own path, and that it shouldn’t keep us from laughing, singing, and dancing together.” 0 likes
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