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I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister

3.66  ·  Rating details ·  665 ratings  ·  222 reviews
For readers ofThe Tyrant’s Daughter,Out of Nowhere, andI AmMalala, this poignant story about two Muslim sisters is about love, loss, religion, forgiveness, women’s rights, and freedom.

Two sisters. Two lives. One future.

Sohane loves no one more than her beautiful, carefree younger sister, Djelila. And she hates no one as much. They used to share everything. But now, Djelila
Hardcover, 152 pages
Published August 5th 2014 by Delacorte Press (first published March 9th 2005)
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Feb 18, 2014 added it
Recommended to Kelly by: Terry (
This is a tiny little punch of a book! It's not even 150 pages but it packs in a lot.

Sohane and Dejlila are sisters in a housing project in France. Both are Muslim. The story picks up and we know that Dejlila has been killed by a boy who lives in the project who thinks it's his job to police how people look and behave. The story unfolds as Sohane talks about how that moment came to be. It's a story about their devotion to one another as sisters, as well as a story about how French laws make
Michelle Wrona
This review can also be found on A Thousand Lives Lived, check it out for more!

For readers who enjoyed The Tyrant's Daughter? Yeah... Not so much. I actually did read that one and ADORED it fully which is one of the reasons and factors that took me to request a copy of this book. I was lurking around YA fiction for diversity and something new that would catch my eye with the contemporary aspect. To be honest, this wasn't what I was expecting and just a meh-read that thankfully was short and
Dec 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Have you ever regretted not picking up a book sooner?

This is the case for me now!

I can’t believe this book has been lying on my TBR shelf for so long and I only picked it up because I was in dire need of a short read to meet my reading goals before years end.

It’s a story about two close sisters, Sohane and Djelila, and how they have kind of drifted apart.

Algerians, born and raised in France, Sohane was in a love/hate relationship with her sister, Djelila, who have started to spend her days with
Book Riot Community
Sohane and Dejlila are sisters in a housing project in France. Both are Muslim. When the story begins, we know Dejlila has been killed by a boy who lives in the project who thinks it’s his job to police how people look and behave. As Sohane talks about how that moment came to be, we learn about the devotion that she and her sister had to one another.

In France, wearing a head scarf in the public classroom is illegal. When Sohane decides she’s going to wear the head scarf as a means of pride in
Aug 07, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: young-adult, 2015
This was a really good novel for how short it is. At 146 pages, it really packs a punch.

I would not recommend this book to people who need extensive character and setting development (I wasn't aware that the setting was France until they spoke about being French). The plot moves very quickly and can sometimes feel a little rushed because the chapters are short, and they switch from past to present each chapter. For example, you are introduced to the characters, Sohane and Djelila, and then the
Jun 17, 2018 rated it it was ok
I expected this to be so much more?
E. Anderson
Aug 11, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Sometimes a book comes along that punches you in the gut. This is one of those books. I LOVE I HATE I MISS MY SISTER by French author Amélie Sarn has recently been translated into American English so that all of us on this side of the Atlantic can feel that gut punch. Believe me, this is something you want.

Skipping back and forth in time, this novel follows Sohane, the "good girl" to her younger sister Djelila's "wild child." While Djelila is taunted by neighborhood kids for not dressing
A.K. Lindsay
Sep 01, 2014 rated it did not like it

This was the book I was most excited to receive for my birthday. As someone who is not Muslim, I was eager for the insight into a different culture. I was mildly disappointed to learn that the author was not writing out of experience, but she seemed to have done her research about the Muslim culture, so I tried to set aside that disappointment and judge the book on its own merit.

The first thing I noticed about the book was the stilted style. It doesn't flow smoothly. Because of the stiff
I'm having mixed thoughts on this one, so I'm going to do a Pros and Cons list before summing up my overall rating:


* Interesting idea.
* Persuades discussion concerning freedom.
* Gives a good look at a different perspective (Non-White, Muslim POV).
* Based on true events.
* Intriguing relationship between two sisters.
* Nice character development for the sisters individually.


* Writing style did not appeal to me.
* At times the main character really got on my nerves.
* Plot seemed a little all
May 24, 2014 rated it really liked it
Short but powerful. Very simplistic but even though the issues are complex the real issues really aren't so it works. Two sisters. Muslim. One prefers to follow her religion more closely than the other does. The two are good friends and inseparable at home but don't really talk to each other all that much at school. The decision of the older sister to wear a head scarf is met with threats of expulsion (this takes place in France and the law banning religious attire like head scarves has just ...more
Sarah Cavar
May 17, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2018
* Major trigger warning for misogynistic violence in this book. *

Read in one sitting; it's a quick read. The writing was cheesy at times, and the center plot point of the novel was tough to stomach. But both sisters grow, apart & together, in realistic and heartwarming ways –– the characterization of the sisters really drives the story.

What I loved was the way this book subtly and cleverly drew attention to the Islamophobic double-standards around freedom, self-expression, and media coverage
Sarah Hannah
Mar 11, 2015 added it
Shelves: ya, 2015
Well, wow. I wasn't sure what to expect from this one, but it hit me hard.

I find it hard to critique translations, because I don't know what lapses in writing quality or uses of language are the translator's versus the author's. Having read only a couple contemporary(ish) French novels in translation (off the top of my head I can think of Bonjour Tristesse and Breathe), the writing style seemed like how I remember the others - that is, spare and also with a lot of tonal things that I think
Mar 14, 2015 rated it really liked it
Detailing the story of two sisters, told from the older sister's point of view. Djelia and Sohane are in a Muslim family, born in France but with ancestral roots in Algeria. Djelia is less interested in religion and its restrictions, where Sohane is exploring her religious expression by wearing a head scarf, which is against the rules of her school and causes her to begin correspondence coarses.

The book is short, beautiful and tragic. Throughout, Sohane is missing her sister, wracked with guilt
I'd give this one 4.5 stars.

Lovely, sad story. I loved the contrast of Sohane and Djelila - one sister banned from school for wearing a headscarf (thus making her TOO religious), and one tormented and attacked by boys in her neighborhood for wearing tight clothes, flirting with boys, etc. (not religious enough). This book really invites the reader to consider women's rights, from both a religious cultural and secular state perspective.

But more than that, it's just about two sisters who love
Dec 23, 2015 rated it it was ok
Shelves: young-adult, 2015
This book was inspired by the murder of Sohane Benziane. I didn't know that going in, and instead I learned about it in the book's acknowledgements. It didn't sit well with me that the book's protagonist, who was at times pretty unlikeable, was also named Sohane. I liked that she was open with the dark and often cruel thoughts that her jealousy provoked, though found her to be stubborn in her beliefs. She was clearly intelligent, and with such big ideas being thrown around, I wished that she was ...more
Jan 28, 2015 rated it liked it
Gonna start now but just the back of the book... This is THE EXACT SISTER relationship. I like that there's what seems to be a realistic approach and story to it. And the rest of the story line about hijab... CANT WAIT TO START THIS BOOK after i finish typing this.

Done- true sister relationship as was promised, i liked that it was so concise and showed the way sisters are directly. Sad sad story although not depressing but very aggravating. Nice to see and have a book that shows islamic side of
An important read. I struggled to fully connect with the characters and at 150 pages, wish it had been longer as I felt it mainly focused on the past and so the ending was rushed. I didn't know this story was actually based on fact and only discovered this reading the acknowledgements, which makes it all the more heartbreaking.
Aug 12, 2015 rated it really liked it
I picked up this book based on a recommendation. It's a YA novella about two sisters who express themselves in ways that are odds with their faith and/or society and the tragic consequences of their choices. I think this is a fine read for young people especially for those looking to read about a culture outside their own. Keep in mind this could be a tough read for some younger readers.
Krissy Ronan
Jun 07, 2015 rated it really liked it
Sad. Beautiful. Moving. Teen sisters dealing with opposite feelings about their family's culture and religion. It's leaving me feeling a bit heartbroken and drained but still thinking about the connections between the characters' struggles and what's happening in our society today.
NYC Reads 365
"Two sisters close in age, sharing a bedroom and sometimes their clothes. Two sisters, two paths, headscarf (hijab) versus tight jeans, prayers vs. volleyball. Two sisters—but one tragedy that destroys their family. Based on the true story of a hate crime in France."
May 23, 2014 rated it liked it
I thought this was a really interesting cultural read (focused on Algerian immigrant community in France) but never really connected with the story ... since the whole plot was kind of laid out from the first page everything felt really predetermined. Still really glad I read it.
Nov 26, 2014 rated it did not like it
I cant believe how obvious the plot is or the simplicity of the narration
every element evolved in the writing is just mocked by publishing this book
Asra Syed
May 22, 2014 rated it really liked it
Quick read with thoughtful insights on freedom and oppression, sisterly love and guilt.
Megan Landry
very quick read-an hour or two is all you need to finish! but it was intriguing and eye opening
Jun 16, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Review first published on http://reading-is-dreaming-with-open-...

"I don't want to live in fear. I don't want my choices to be dictated by fear. I don't want to be what others have decided I should be. I want to be myself. Do you understand, Sohane?"

This book just left me feeling speechless. On reading the synopsis I expected a typical conflicted-sister relationship but nothing could have prepared me for the intensity the author carried throughout the book with perfect ease. It was chilling. It
Bethany Miller
Sep 11, 2014 rated it liked it
My review is followed by a student review that presents a differing opinion.

Grade Range: 9-12
Genre: Multicultural, Realistic Fiction
Literary Merit: Good
Characterization: Good
Recommendation: Recommended

This slim novel explores the relationship between two French Muslim sisters through the lens of Sohane’s grief after her sister Djelila’s murder. The plot moves back and forth between the events leading up to and the aftermath of Djelila’s murder. At the same time that Sohane is becoming more
Janice Murray
I Love, I Hate, I Miss My Sister GoodReads Review

Sohane, a senior in high school, lost her younger sister to a tragic death a year ago. With only one year between them, the two were close, though as they’d grown older they had grown apart in their public personas. Her younger sister, Djelila, had enjoyed sports, had flirted with boys, had experimented with cigarettes and alcohol. When the neighborhood drop-outs made Djelila their target for not being “Muslim enough,” Sohane had mixed
Joséphine (Word Revel)
Actual rating: 4.5 stars

I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister arrived in the mail yesterday, just about a week after publication. When I had it in my hands, I did something I rarely do when a book arrives: read. Since I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister is such a short book, I decided to keep reading, thinking I might as well finish it one go. And finish it I did. I started reading at 10 p.m. and was done by 12.30 a.m. Just as well, since I pre-ordered it.

At first I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister is very
Jillian Findlay
Nov 20, 2017 rated it it was amazing
“I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister” by Amelie Sarn is an emotion tale of two sisters born in France in a Muslim Community. They each decided on very different paths: Sohane chose to become more religious by wearing a headscarf, and Djelila veered toward the more secular by wearing make-up and drinking alcohol. The school district then expelled Sohane for wearing the scarf and Dejlila got harassed by a local gang for not following Muslim customs. Slowly, Sohane and Dejilia began to hate each other ...more
Mollee Gressley
Mar 23, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: ya-literature
There were many parts of this book that I didn't like. And there were many that I did. The injustices in this book seemed twofold: there was Djelila getting abused because she was too liberal, and Sohane getting socially attacked and even expelled because she was too conservative. Djelila said it herself: "You know what's stupid? Those guys bother me because I don't cover my hair and you're expelled from school because you want to cover yours. Isn't it ironic?" And it was. It was preposterous, ...more
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Play Book Tag: I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister/ Amélie Sarn - 5 stars 4 15 Jun 01, 2018 01:03PM  
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Amélie Sarn-Cantin, née le 4 mars 1970, est une romancière française, illustratrice de bandes dessinées et traductrice. Après avoir passé son enfance à la campagne et quelques années à l’université de Rennes, elle décide de se consacrer uniquement à l’écriture.
En avril 2002, Sarn publie son premier roman pour adultes Elle ne pleure pas, elle chante. On lui doit aussi l’adaptation du fameux dessin
“These young girls came here expecting hospitality and warmth, and here we are giving them morality lessons. I’ve had three husbands and twelve children, of which eight are girls, so I feel I know that each one of us has to find her own path, and that it shouldn’t keep us from laughing, singing, and dancing together.” 0 likes
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