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Guide to Troubled Birds
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Guide to Troubled Birds

4.30  ·  Rating details ·  620 ratings  ·  116 reviews
An illustrated pocket field guide that enables anyone to quickly identify psychotic, violent or mentally unstable bird species. We are only just discovering the reality of our avian adversaries, with their reptilian brains, their appetites for mayhem and the fact that they fly mostly to spite us. To ignore the information found within this volume may be at the peril of you ...more
Hardcover, 64 pages
Published June 12th 2014 by Blue Rider Press (first published March 8th 2012)
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4.30  · 
Rating details
 ·  620 ratings  ·  116 reviews

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so for all of you who have been questioning my stance on birds and how they are evil

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yeah. now you're willing to listen, aren't you??

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this book delights me.

it's just a collection of illustrations of various horrible winged creatures with accompanying stories declaring itself to be a reference guide to be consulted in the event of an infant or small child being torn apart by a murder of crows.

because it's going to happen, make no mistake.

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for such small little things, they sure do get lippy (beak
Saania Zee Jamal ϟ
Just the sight of these feathered creatures of evil gives me the heebie-jeebies, but then when I see this...





Picked this up on a whim. Perfect for anyone who has ever felt unnerved by a flock of birds. Are they watching me? Will they kill me? The answer is apparently…yes.
Nov 07, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor, favorites
Absolutely hilarious. I am SO glad that I bought this as a gift so I could read it first, like the cheap-ass that I am.
Jillian (PidginPea's Book Nook)
You had me at "profusely illustrated."
Pop Bop
Apr 06, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: reviewed
Jack Handey as an Angry, Pugnacious Drunk in a Bird Suit

Remember Jack Handey and his "Deep Thoughts" from the old Saturday Night Live? Slightly off-kilter, vaguely inane and sort of gormless, but somehow deeply insightful, musings? Well, take that same sort of one-liner humor, but make it psychotically angry and twisted and use it to caption pretty, but intense, bird paintings. That's more or less what you get here.

Usually you don't have pretty, colorful, cute birds telling you "I'll Even Kill Y
Apr 07, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: first-reads
This is a delightful, hilarious, "profusely illustrated" guide to birds...Troubled Birds. There are plenty of amusing details to savor in this short guide. It's one of those books that as I read it I keep thinking of some of my odd friends (who are the BEST) that would enjoy a copy of their own. Probably why they call it a 'gift book'. Figured that out on my own!

*I received a complimentary copy from the publisher.
Mar 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Nicole Lundrigan
Jun 25, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book made me crack up several times. I loved it.
Rach H
Feb 23, 2018 added it
Jan Priddy
Dec 29, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I bought this book for my husband for the illustrations and the snarky tone when I peaked inside. He didn't like it at all. As a bird lover he found the satire over the top and even offensive. And it is true, there are nasty references here and the level of bird violence reaches the absurd, hence the dropping of a star.

Mostly I appreciate the author's humor, and I still like the notion of vindictive birds paying us back for putting windows in their flyways and a single chicken proving fatal to
Adam Fisher
Oct 22, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Very good for a quick read and a good laugh.
Feb 08, 2019 rated it liked it
A little creepy
Aug 11, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Like someone else said, you had me at 'profusely illustrated' but I originally saw some of these illustrations online, not aware there was an entire book, let alone stories to go with them. This is a VERY short book, took me maybe half an hour to read out loud to friends and laughing at the absurdity of some of the stories in between. One of my favorites is 'Bird Chooses Last Words to Be Those of Defiance, and Thus Shows More Courage Than Most' and that's just the title. The book itself looks li ...more
Jul 15, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

(from p. 41)

"Oh, dear, honey - look out for that bird - oh, no. You hit it. You killed it."

"It flew into our windshield. I'm not swerving to avoid some stupid bird," he said.

Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly until the sounds came. "I think it said, 'F-ck your windshield.'"

He drove in silence for a long while, and she couldn't see his face in the dark.

Finally he said, "I think you're right," his voice small and hollow.

[image error]

Aug 06, 2014 rated it it was ok
Shelves: humor, animals
Picked this up on a whim to read on the plane. Nicely designed, a quick read of 1-page essays that almost read like poems and captioned illustrations. But only a few were funny to me. For many, it was unclear who was the narrator (the bird, or a person? The author?) and they left me more confused than entertained.
Jan 03, 2015 rated it really liked it
You like dark humor? This is hiii-larious.
Patty Remmell
Jul 09, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Absolutely enchanting and short enough to read, cover-to-cover, on the toilet. My son purchased it for me as a birthday gift and it made me LOL all the way through.
Dec 30, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: humor
This is pretty demented. My psychologist birding BIL will certainly enjoy this.
Jun 22, 2014 added it
Swift snark 'profusely illustrated.'
Oct 11, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: blue-rider-press
I cackled the entire time I read this. Freaked out people around me.
Dec 14, 2018 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
1.5 / 5

The book is a collection of acrylic paintings of birds accompanied by text superimposed over the image, a caption beneath the image, a short vignette, or a combination thereof.

- The book contains a number of meme-worthy imagines that have made the rounds on the internet (e.g. the bird that would sell you to Satan for a single corn chip)
- The paintings are fine, I guess?
- The book can be completed very quickly, if that's your jam.

- The book is only about 60 pages long. The g
Feb 29, 2016 rated it really liked it
What an interesting, hilarious way to end 2017 for me. I probably shouldn’t have been quite so darkly amused as I was.

My only issue is I feel like it could’ve been longer. It felt over too quickly and abruptly. Perhaps it’s shallow of me to knock off a star because of that, but I never said I wasn’t petty.

My favorite two four*:
“The risk I took was calculate, but man, am I bad at math.”
“The ability to remain sober and gracious is, indeed, a form of mild insanity.”
“He had a violent, uncontrolle
Mar 07, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: art, humour
I saw images from this book crop up on my Tumblr occasionally and they always made me laugh, so when I found out they were in a book, I knew I had to get it.

It's a short, silly book. Half paintings of birds with ridiculous captions, and half prose/poetry relating to bird actions. It made me laugh with it's stupidity. It made me laugh a lot.

Recommended for people with stupid senses of humour.

"I'm three ounces of whoop-ass"
“Profusely Illustrated” proclaims the front cover! It is true. The illustrations are the highlight of this odd, dark, disturbing look at “troubled birds.” Adorable birds painted onto patterned backgrounds are captioned to express their deepest, darkest thoughts. Accompanying text is from different viewpoints – the birds, first person author/narrator, and third person accounts. Doesn’t add much to the birds. Notecards are also available for purchase!
May 09, 2018 rated it really liked it
I'm not sure how I've survived all these years without the aid of this expert guide. I finally decided to buy it after noticing several suspicious-looking feathered individuals hanging around in my backyard, and with this newly gathered knowledge I just might be able to defeat them and not get a) disemboweled, b) incarcerated or c) my soul sold to Satan. I can't thank Mr Adrian enough for possibly having saved my life!
Jan 12, 2019 rated it liked it
Dark, yet humorous, subject matter is juxtaposed against really lovely art featuring different species of birds. It's a quick read; the focus is mostly on the art itself, though every couple of pages there are featured vignettes next to some of the pieces. Each one is more vivid than the last, and leaves a lasting impression in the reader's mind.
Cecilie Larsen
Feb 23, 2017 rated it did not like it
Some of the illustrations are nice, but the text doesn't make much sense and it's really unclear who the speaker(s) is supposed to be or what they're talking about at times. Contains transmisogyny and jokes about mental illness.
Mar 18, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I think I lost this book somewhere shortly after I started reading it? I'm sad about it because I never got to finish it and it was hilarious..... but it's been 1.5 years and I need this out of my "currently reading" section. RIP, my copy of the Mincing Mockingbird Guide.
Dec 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Sublimely hilarious "guide" to psychotic birds, and their ilk. Profusely illustrated with equally unhinged feathered "friends" make this an illuminating short read. My wife has tickled my funny bone this holiday season.
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Matt Adrian's lush acrylic paintings of birds range from the delightfully cute to the decidedly sinister. The distinctive titles of the paintings juxtapose the primal existence of birds with the often awkward folly of modern human existence.

His artwork is collected worldwide and has been featured in SUNSENT magazine, BUST magazine, COUNTRY LIVING magazine, the LOS ANGELES TIMES, the CHICAGO TRIBU