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All I Love and Know

3.73  ·  Rating details ·  2,449 ratings  ·  420 reviews
With the storytelling power and emotional fidelity of Wally Lamb, this is a searing drama of a modern American family on the brink of dissolution, one that explores adoption, gay marriage, and love lost and found.
For years, Matthew Greene and Daniel Rosen have enjoyed a quiet domestic life together in Northampton, Massachusetts. Opposites in many ways, they have grown toge
Hardcover, 422 pages
Published July 15th 2014 by William Morrow
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Mara Gold I believe it does...tho, I'm less than half way through. I find it upsetting and distracting that she felt the need to condemn Israel as the occupier …moreI believe it does...tho, I'm less than half way through. I find it upsetting and distracting that she felt the need to condemn Israel as the occupier in an offhanded way (just interjected here and there in the story as if her statements are complete fact). There is no condemnation of the Palestinians. Why the need to villify Israel? Just tell your story!(less)

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Average rating 3.73  · 
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 ·  2,449 ratings  ·  420 reviews

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Elyse  Walters
Jul 25, 2014 rated it it was amazing
This novel is powerful. I was interested in every single detail. I was heavily pulled in to the story. I was constantly thinking about the characters and their situations almost every waking moment when I wasn't reading it. I couldn't wait to get back to this book-- not wanting to 'miss' anything!!!

After Daniel's twin brother and his wife, ( Joel and Ilana), are killed in a cafe bombing in Jerusalem --there is barely any time to mourn-- because things get very complicated 'fast'. Joel and Ilana
There is so much about All I Love and Know. It is not just a story about a gay couple becoming parents. It is not just about a Jew and a Christian couple trying to reconcile their differences. It is not just about the ongoing Israeli/Palestinian conflict. It is not even solely about the loss of a beloved brother and the gap that leaves in a family. It is an amalgam of all of these scenarios and more. To separate out the story into its parts means to lose other key elements of Matt and Daniel’s r ...more
Katie/Doing Dewey
Jul 18, 2014 rated it it was amazing
When I read a book this wonderful, I always wish I had more of a way with words, so I could do the book justice. I desperately want to convey the essence of this book to you so that you can share the love and awe I feel for it. I’m not someone who always loves flawed characters. I sometimes even find them annoying. But in this book, when I say the characters are flawed, what I mean is that they are created with flaws and strengths and likes and dislikes and feelings that are so believable and so ...more
May 10, 2016 rated it really liked it
There are many, many issues explored in this story. Zionism, validity of wills, parental rights, single parenthood, grandparent rights, stereotyping, freedom of speech, and oh by the way, gay rights. I haven't come across another story with similar subjects and really liked reading about these topics.
Oct 14, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fiction
If Jodi Picoult were a Jewish lesbian, she might have written All I Love and Know, which packs multiple issues into a well-written story of love, gay rights, parenting, and the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. I had a little trouble with the author's frequent head-hopping; the POV shifts quickly and without warning, sometimes several times on the same page. But I was engrossed by the portrayal of characters thrust into a situation they never expected and are woefully unprepared to confront. Of the ...more
Minty McBunny
Nov 24, 2014 rated it did not like it
Shelves: 2014, november-2014
Until I was 28, I had only left one book unfinished (an Anne Tyler book, FTR). I just always felt like I had to finish any book I started.

Finally, in the middle of a particularly bad chick lit novel, I realized there was an endless supply of good books in the world, why would I waste time reading one I got no pleasure from?

But I also didn't want to give up too early on a book that was just a slow starter.

So since then, my rule has been this: I read half the book, then ask myself "if I put this
I love how this book steps on every landmine, makes you feel the blast and the aftershock and yet manages to make me feel hopeful. I am such a Daniel....
Megan Porter
Apr 29, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: first-reads
This book was fantastic. I couldn't put it down. It's been a fair while since I've read a book that I think about during the day and can't wait to get back to in the evening. Within the first few chapters, I was completely hooked on this story. I felt emotionally attached to the plot and the characters very quickly. I found myself siding with Matt through most of the book. It was frustrating to see Daniel's reaction to his feelings and I had to keep reminding myself that everyone grieves differe ...more
Aug 08, 2014 rated it it was amazing
One of the most compelling, heart rending books I have ever read. It was the first time I have seen my opinions of the Arab-Israeli conflict written about. You cannot help but love this extended family and wish for a happy ending to their story. After reading the acknowledgements, I wonder exactly how much is based on actual events. I hope that Goodreads hosts a Q&A with Judith Frank. She is a gifted storyteller. ...more
Mar 26, 2014 rated it it was ok
This book is hard for me to rate because I really struggled to read it. I went into the book expecting a story centered around a custody battle, with much hinging on the fact that the battle involved a gay couple. In truth, custody played a very minor role in the story, and was settled very early on.

Instead, the book was very much character-driven and I felt like I had a book that wasn’t quite sure what it wanted to be. Is it a book that is trying to show that gay parenting is a valid option, or
I thought I would like this book but I thought it took on too many issues at once and therefore it was very hard too get into. I also couldn't stand Matt. He was whiney and moody when his partner just lost his twin in a very violent way, a roadside bomb in Jerusulem. I think the author should have whittled down the issues she was looking at and focused more on maybe just Daniel's brother's death and the fact that Matt and Daniel now had to raise their children and how that affected their relatio ...more
Jul 01, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This book is way more than your normal love story. It talks and deals with subjects that many would not be comfortable with but are things that need discussed and that matter.

All I can say is give this story a chance, take it as what it is..and also let yourself be moved by all the symbolic, real, and implied subject matter.
Judy D Collins
Judith Frank’s ALL I LOVE AND KNOW, is a riveting account of love and loss, diversity, adoption, and finding your way back from tragedy to something beautiful.

Matthew and Daniel, a gay couple residing in Northampton, MA (before gay marriage is legal), where they are in a comfortable relationship, until their world is turned upside down.

Daniel’s twin brother, Joel and sister-in-law, Ilana, have just been killed by a suicide bombing in Jerusalem, and the gay couple’s life has been totally uproot
Ulysses Dietz
Mar 03, 2017 rated it it was amazing
All I Love and Know
By Judith Frank
Published by William Morrow, 2014
Five stars

Well, here's a different book. "All I Love and Know" (Morrow, 2014) by Judith Frank. SO not a romance, but entirely about a gay couple who love each other. I want to say "harrowing," but it's not really--any more than everyday life can be harrowing and disorienting. It is one of the most beautifully written books I've read in a while. This book knocked me down. Fortunately, it lifted me back up again.

Matt Greene and Dan
Aug 10, 2014 rated it it was ok
I was very underwhelmed and disappointed in this book. Frankly, I was disappointed in the author. She had an opportunity to take the subject matter of gay relationships, gay marriage, gay parenthood, Judaism, and the struggles in Israel and Palestine to a new place; instead, she gave the reader what we already know and expect from the current daily news. Bummer, as she missed an opportunity in 420 pages to give us something insightful or inspiring.
Daniel Rosen, is a gay professional living in N
Jul 31, 2014 rated it really liked it
I'm having a really hard time deciding between 3 and 4 stars. Most of the time, I don't hand out 4 stars unless I feel a personal connection with a character, or the story really touches me. In this book, I don't really identify with any of the characters because my life is so very different from theirs. However, the story was compelling. Dealing with political situations that I don't know anything about kept it a bit at arms length from me, but the author managed to draw me in anyway. The chara ...more
Feb 03, 2016 rated it really liked it
I really enjoyed reading this, and it seems odd, but if anything, the book was TOO ambitious - it crammed in far too many hot button issues for its own good: gay marriage & parenting, the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, AIDS grief, fidelity vs.monogamy. Despite that, and the rather prosaic prose, the novel moved swiftly and one came to care about all of the characters, even though some were not terribly likeable (Daniel in particular). ...more
Aug 06, 2014 rated it it was ok
Oh I hated this book!! But finished it just bc it was necessary. I felt the author tried to shove too many issues down the readers throat: Judaism, Israel, homosexuality, politics, love.... It was too much
Plus I didn't like any if the characters
Jan 30, 2020 rated it liked it
I liked the story and characters, but it badly needed better editing.
LAPL Reads
Jan 13, 2015 rated it really liked it
Lydia Rosen’s inane chatter about bourekas during the flight to Israel baffles Matt Greene. To his partner, Daniel Rosen, her preoccupation with the stuffed pastry makes total sense. His mother is “trying not to have to imagine how much of her other son’s body has been blown to bits." But the grim reality intrudes when Daniel, his parents, and Matt land at the Tel Aviv airport and are transported directly to the Institute of Forensic Medicine. There, amidst indescribable, horrific odors and the ...more
Kathleen (Kat) Smith
Once again I find myself in a difficult place reviewing a novel that I am questioning why I would have wanted to review this novel since it goes against my own personal religious beliefs on the side against gay marriage. So for my Christian blogging readers, I caution you against this novel based on the premise that is speaks about not only gay marriage being acceptable, but also for the fact that it does against the very core beliefs God speaks against. With that being said, let me outline what ...more
Penny McGill
Nov 10, 2014 rated it it was amazing
I am terrible at going to movies that I know I will find scary but I still go. I just watch them with my hands in front of my face and try to see some of the film through the spaces (as if this will make it easier to watch) and this book was a bit like that. You know just a page or two in that the start of the story is of parents of young children killed in a bombing in Jerusalem and that is when I started to want to put my hands up to only see part of the story - right there, the story is unbea ...more
Lois R. Gross
Aug 24, 2014 rated it really liked it
This is a socially conscious book that interweaves so many themes with skill and dexterity that it is hard to talk about a single topic. Daniel Rosen and his partner, Matthew Greene, are summoned to Israel when Daniel's twin, Joel, is killed in a terrorist bombing. At the behest of Joel and is wife, Ilana, the couple's two children, Gal and Noam, are given into Joel and Matt's custody and brought to the United States. while Joel toys with the idea of making aliya so that the children can be rais ...more
Bonnie Faust
Oct 13, 2014 rated it it was amazing
This is quite possibly one of the best novels I have read in a LONG time.

Frank has an incredible talent using the most beautiful and descriptive language to tell a story, weaving unimaginable tragedy, deeply committed love, complicated international politics, and relatable family dysfunction.

Matt and Daniel are a successful, well respected couple living in Northampton, Massachusetts when they discover that Daniel's twin brother and wife were killed in a terrorist bombing in Jerusalem, where they
Oct 15, 2014 rated it it was amazing
This book opens up right in the midst of a family tragedy. Matt breaks the news to his partner that Daniel's twin brother, Joel, has been killed along with his wife in a terrorist attack in Jerusalem. What further complicates the drama is that Joel and Ilana leave behind two young children. The book is broken into three sections which deal with this aftermath. In the first, custody is complicated by the maternal grandparents, both Holocaust survivors, wanting custody over Daniel and his partner ...more
Aug 12, 2014 rated it really liked it
This novel is fantastic. The best thing I've read in ages. It covers so many relevant topics, and does it smoothly. The gay couple, Matt and Daniel, felt so real to me, I wanted to talk to them! As with any couple they have their ups and downs. Then the sudden shock of adding children to the relationship puts further strain on them. Daniel's twin brother and sister-in-law have been killed in a terrorist bombing in Jerusalem. The couple's wish is for Daniel to take them back to the U.S. with him. ...more
Jan 07, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Matt and Daniel live together in New England. Daniel's twin brother and the brother's wife are killed in a bombing in Jerusalem where they live. Daniel is the guardian of his young niece and infant nephew, and will take them from Jerusalem to live with him and Matt. Dealing with such a horrid loss and sudden, unplanned parenthood it's impact on their relationship, and the moving of the children from their home and thousands of miles away from their holocaust survivor maternal grandparents will b ...more
Aug 31, 2014 rated it liked it
I very much enjoyed the first half of this book. The main character, Daniel, is a gay man whose brother and sister-in-law are killed in a terroist bombing in Israel and Daniel is named in the will as custodian of their two children. The book tackles the subjects of religion, gay marriage and adoption, the many emotions of the extended family, the relationship of Daniel and his partner, to name of few, and as I said, in the first half of the book did it very well.

The second half of the book was
Caroline Igra
Jan 14, 2015 rated it it was ok
The premise of Frank's book was interesting and at the beginning the reader is drawn right in. But I found that midway it really lost its appeal. The writing is solid but nothing special, the comments about life in Israel ring true but shallow and the clear political stance of the writer, instead of adding depth to the story as it reveals that of one of the main characters, interferes with the development of both the story and the characters. I think the author should have decided whether this w ...more
Aug 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I loved this. I wonder how much of the author's own life she put into it, as she was so detailed and textured about all the characters' emotions. In particular it was interesting for me to read about Daniels experience being a twin, because I'm a twin and I so rarely encounter twins in stories who are not just used as a plot device. This was more like - all people are complicated, and this is part of Daniel's experience in life. I related to so much of this book!
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Judith Frank holds a BA from the Hebrew University, and an MFA and PhD from Cornell University. She is the author of Crybaby Butch (Firebrand Books, 2004), which was awarded a Lambda Literary Award in 2004. In 2008 she received a National Endowment for the Arts fellowship for All I Love and Know. She has been a resident at Yaddo and the MacDowell Colony, and has published short fiction in The Mass ...more

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