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302 pages, ebook
First published April 24, 2014
People could only hurt you and disappoint you if you let them. They only had the power to hurt you in you thought they were special and above that. I didn’t let anyone touch my heart or emotions enough to risk that happening again... ever.Nash vaguely remembers Saint from high school. She was quiet, sweet and smart. Out of his league completely. He sees her now as the beautiful, caring and compassionate nurse taking care of Phil. Nash is going through a lot in his life. Phil is the only ‘parent’ he’s ever had, and now he’s losing him. Expanding the shop, dealing with family stuff. It’s a lot to take. Nash doesn’t know what to do. The only thing he does know, is that he wants Saint. She wants him too. In fact, he’s the only man she’s ever really wanted. Ever since high school. The only one that can truly make her feel.
“All I can see is you. Why can't you understand that? No one shines as bright as you in the sky I'm looking at. To me there is no sun, no moon, and no stars in the sky, just endless miles of storm clouds and pretty, pretty gray."
“The person that should be surprising is you, Saint. Trust me, the person you are is remarkable and exceptional. If you get acquainted with her, your entire life will change.” She just looked at me like she had no idea what I was saying, but I felt better having said it. I would love her unconditionally if she let me, but in order to do that I had to get her to love herself fully, first.”
“There is no falling. You fell. She’s got you and there is no getting loose from that. So she’s guarded, so she’s hard to figure out . . . did you stop to think maybe the reason you like her, that she matters, is because she isn’t easy like all the rest”
“Your dick is wearing jewelry.”
"It's how we deal with the things that hurt us most that defines us."
On one hand, I wanted to take his nice-guy facade at face value, but I had been burned by my misconception of him before and I didn't think that was a risk I wanted to take again.
How did I go about explaining that I didn't want to like him, didn't want to feel anything for him after the abysmal way his flagrant disregard for me in high school left me feeling for a lifetime?
I still wasn't a hundred percent sold on the fact I could get involved with a guy who had disappointed me so much in the past...
But there was this nagging doubt, these poking questions that jabbed under my skin, that there was still the part of him that could be hateful and cruel, and I just didn't trust that.
"Trust me, the person you are is remarkable and exceptional. If you get acquainted with her, your entire life will change."
She just looked at me like she had no idea what I was saying, but I felt better having said it. I would love her unconditionally if she let me, but in order to do that I had to get her to love herself fully, first.
"People change. Time makes us grow. Life happens, good and bad, and it's the person you love, the man inside you can't live without, not the sum of what he did or didn't do when he was younger and still figuring life out."
I didn't want them to tell him he could do better, because a secret part of me wanted to be the best thing that ever happened to him.
"You undo me, Saint."
"Just try and put me back together when you're done with me, all right."
I know the self-esteem shit wasn't helped by my big mouth and general stupidity, but I can't figure out how to get her to trust that I'm not like that. That really I'm a decent dude that was just a dumb kid prone to making mistakes.