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352 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2014
"All I can do is stay. Love him. Hope."
"The world belongs to Caroline, but it doesn't belong to me."
"I'm a villain. I deserve venom. A kick in the ribs. Disgust."
"I used sex to make you leave me. It was...that was something special between us. Sacred, even. And I turned it in to a weapon. Turned it on you."
"It's not so bad to waste your life. It's not so hard. What's harder--what's fucking impossible--is thinking that you've got a future and then losing it."
"You feel good to me now."
"That's all I want. To be good to you."
"Be good to me forever."
"I hope I get to."
"We decide. You and me."
You have to let yourself want what you want as hard as you can, as deep as that goes, even if it scares the fuck out of you.
Before we crashed and burned, though, I liked the person I was with West. He made me vulnerable, but he helped me be stronger, too.
I could tell you how much I'm hurting, or I could get out of the car, slam the door, hitchhike to the airport because fuck you, fuck you, West, how could you do this to me? How?
What I can't do is pretend I don't know what you did," I say. "Or pretend I don't still care about you.
She knows who she is deep inside herself. I can break her heart, but I can't break her pride. I can't break her. She's never going to let that happen.
I want her
All the time, like a virus, a disease I caught, except the other way around- like a a cure I caught a year ago, and it's inside me, winding through my veins, pumping through my heart.
Spark. Spark. Flame.
The whole time, I was trying to convince myself that the flame didn't look like hope, didn't feel like it, but I've never been any good at that kind of deception.
That spark in the dark, that wavering flicker- Caroline. Hope.
For me, they were always the same thing.
"All the songs are love songs, and this one is ours."
"I knew as soon as you came through the door, I'd ruin it. There wasn't any way not to ruin it, and it made me so fucking angry, so that's what you ended up seeing when you did come outside. How angry I was at the world for making me and you impossible."
I love her. Caroline Piasecki.
I always will.