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Samson's Lovely Mortal

(Scanguards Vampires #1)

3.94  ·  Rating details ·  16,856 ratings  ·  1,017 reviews
Librarian's note: This is an alternate cover for ASIN: B003O2SH60.

Vampire bachelor Samson can't get it up anymore. Not even his shrink can help him. That changes when the lovely mortal auditor Delilah tumbles into his arms after a seemingly random attack. Suddenly there's nothing wrong with his hydraulics - that is, as long as Delilah is the woman in his arms.

His scruples
Kindle Edition, 262 pages
Published May 25th 2010 by Tina Folsom (first published January 8th 2010)
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Average rating 3.94  · 
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 ·  16,856 ratings  ·  1,017 reviews

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Laurie Garrison
I do believe I have found my favorite erotic book for this year and it's also has my favorite genre paranormal. This book is romantic, witty and pure down right hot. The author does a wonderful job in how she brings this erotic romance together. I was floored as I keep reading and the story keep getting deeper. It has humor, twist and turns, suprise's danger, villains, a excellent cast of vampire male characters the author can run on and OMG the sex is amazing there is a little spanking and rear ...more
Written July 12, 2015

3 1/2 Stars - Enjoying lighthearted steamy vampire love

It was a time since I last read a m/f vampire romance. Let it be fun. Samson's Lovely Mortal was a freebie I added with the audiobook for $2.29 some weeks ago. 9:14 hrs narrated by Kevin Foley. My first book by Tina Folsom and this male narrator. A Samson & Delilah tale. Yum, I was happy expectant.

description description description description

...and nine hours later still smiling. Good enough - 3 1/2 stars!


UniquelyMoi ~ BlithelyBookish
Samson's Lovely Mortal is the first book in Tina Folsom's Scanguards Vampires series, and I really enjoyed it. It's a sexy and fun world these vamps live in, and this one has a great mystery added to the mix. Not too heavy and not too light, it's definitely an entertaining start to the series.

Amaury's story is up next, and from what I know of him, it's going to be one heck of a read.
May 21, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: vampires
Just when I thought I've read it all, I see the blurb to this book. A vampire with erectile disfunction? Too funny.

The opening line to this book. “Let me suck your cock."

Did that get your attention? It certainly got mine.

Samson can't seem to get it up anymore, and so he goes to a shrink, Dr. Drake, to see if maybe the good doctor can help him.

“I'm here for...the issue is...uh, my problem has to do with...”
Yeah, poor Samson.

His friends decide for his birthday that they will send him a
Sep 08, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: kindle
Oh Sweet Holy mother of Baby Jesus..

I dont really know why I decided to buy this off Kindle earlier today.. I've been walking around in complete withdrawal mode, ever since finishing the BDB books.. I mean, I have a million books, I already own, but everytime I picked one up, I couldnt get into it because I felt like nothing could really compare to the BDB books I had just devoured.. And absolutly loved..

I really wanted something to take my mind away from the fact that I have to wait a million
May 19, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
4 1/2 stars. Very good!!

From the very first hot sentence, to the last page, this book had me hooked. Samson and Delilah (I know *rolls eyes*, just some of the author's warped subtle humor) have sizzling chemistry. She seems to be the answer to his...ahem....problem. He can't get IT up and once he meets her...IT doesn't want to go down. Funny stuff. The connection they have is more than sexual and he has feelings for her that are not normal for a vampire. What a fun journey exploring this unique
I love when I come across a book that surpasses my expectations, and Samson's Lovely Mortal definitely succeeded in doing that. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this book. The story did border on the ridiculous, but the humor, drama, and steamy sexiness more than made up for it.

If you're looking for a quick, sexy, somewhat silly read, Samson's Lovely Mortal more than delivers.

Duchess Nicole
It took me awhile to read this, and its fairly short. The beginning was okay. I like the way that Samson and Delilah meet. I was laughing at the way the meeting took place and who he thought she was. It was different. Then, I started getting bored and skimming. First, when Samson called her vagina a 'lush canopy' and her breasts Asia and Europe, or somthing. Okay, okay, I laughed at that part. Her nipples were rock hard mountain peaks, for gosh sakes!

Certain phrases caught my eye that I
Beth (^v^)/
Samson's Lovely Mortal is the first in a series by Tina Folsom. I've never heard of the series or the author before this book. I was pleasantly surprised. It was a nice blend of romance, urban fantasy & mystery.

Samson is a vampire with anger issues. He's pissed because his psycho ex-girlfriend was a gold digger.

bitch photo tumblr_ll8864ihso1qg742l.gif

Poor guy has been having trouble with sexy times since. I have to say I've read a lot of vampire novels and no one has ever had this problem before.

huh photo Huh-sheldon.gif

The heroine, Delilah, is an
Paranormal Romance/Erotica writer Tina Folsom has the reader panting and craving more with Samsom's Lovely Mortal. If you love a hot and passionate paranormal romance then you are going to LOVE Samson's Lovely Mortal. This is one book where I do not want to give too much information away because I want the reader to experience and savor every page-turning moment. What I will tell you is the lead character, Samson, is the owner of Scanguard Enterprises and who happens to be a gorgeous vampire ...more
♥ Jx PinkLady Reviews ♥
4 Lovely Stars for Samson and Delilah!!!

"Tonight he would take her to his bed, and he would be just a man, a man who wanted her. He would forget he was a vampire."

Samson is a tall, strong handsome vampire and Delilah is the 'Lovely Mortal' They have an over whelming sexual desire for each other.....It's lovely!!

This story is witty, humorous, romantic and sexy with a good mix of goodies and baddies!! Samson has a little problem (he can't get it up, oh dear!) but Delilah comes along and needless
Sep 22, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition

To be honest...I didn’t know what to expect from this one. I only read the blurb and it sounded like a real fun: “Vampire bachelor Samson can't get it up anymore.” Hahahah...Okay... I was intrigued :D

After reading it the only thing I can say is: I LOVED it!!! It was such a fun, sexy and entertaining read. I liked all the characters and I think the book was very well written.

What I loved about it: First of all, I liked that we get to really know the characters (Samson and Delilah). We
Crystal ♥ RBtWBC
Samson Woodford owns a successful security & bodyguard business called Scaguards and because of his success & wealth (not to mention his dark & sexy good looks) he is one of the most sought after bachelors in the vampire world. After an unpleasant break-up he is left with some male problems, ya’know, down there. You’re going to make me say it? Okay, he’s left impotent. Poor dear.
He even starts seeing a shrink but to no avail. Until his friends decide to throw him a very much
Ann has a dirty mouth
This book was a helluva lot of fun. I hate to warn you all because this one was a slow starter and poorly edited, but I have read the next books in the series, and I feel good about recomending this one because both problems are cleared up by subsequent books.

The mystery in this book was kind of "meh" but the vampire boner jokes were funny. I liked that in this universe, vampires are not so insanely powerful and have jobs and everyday problems. The book is much more like a contemporary
May 20, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I LOVED THIS BOOK!!!...what a great little gem this author is! I would have had no clue that she or this series even existed had this book not recently been put up as a free kindle book over at Amazon!
I had no clue what to expect going in..a lot of times the free kindle books..namely the pnrs, are very short and don't really contain a lot of story..they're just erotic novellas..but his book was FULL LENGTH and a really great paranormal romance at that!! It had a good suspenseful mystery type
LIA  Kh.
Jan 23, 2017 rated it really liked it
the plot, the storyline is interesting and fresh too!

and Samson? had possessive tendency, and cute too.

you love vampire, you ought to try this one.
Samson's Lovely Mortal (Scanguards Vampires, #1) For the past nine months, Samson Woodford has been suffering from something no man wants to suffer from. Least of all a virile vampire like him. Erectile dysfunction. No matter what he does, no matter who helps him, he just can’t get it up. And frankly, it’s embarrassing.

Even more embarrassing is the fact his friends know about it and they suggested seeing a shrink. Could he sink any lower? And then those same friends arrange for a stripper for
Erin V
When I read the back of the book and it said

"Vampire bachelor Samson can't get it up anymore. Not even his shrink can help him"

I knew I had to read this book and had a feeling that I was going to love it either way. It such a great book and it was funny also
Warning this is an 18+ year old only review!

This first in Folsom's Scanguards Vampires series is set in San Francisco and has an opening line that certainly grabs your attention: "Let me suck your cock." This paranormal romance comes complete with vampires, embezzling, betrayal, a mortal love, romance, a little humor and a precious gift.

Folsom has created some very believable characters - both primary and secondary ones, even if she uses much of the traditional vampire lore with only a few
I put off reading this book for awhile because of the opening sentence. I needed some time to prepare myself and be in the mood for the subject matter. Surprisingly, it was nothing once I decided to read it and got past the first page. It was a light vampire read. The vampires were operating like mortals -- impotency problems, broken relationships, and seeing shrinks. I thought it was entertaining and enjoyed the first half of the book but the second half of the book lacked depth and the ...more
or .
This one reminded me of the Argeneaus.

This one was a bit of a surprise. It wasn't heavy vampire stuff. It was light and fluffy. So Samson was a vampire suffering from erectile dysfunction for 9 months. His friends decided the best way to help him rise to the occasion was for a stripper to come and entice his inner beast to come out to play. So for his birthday, he waited for boom boom belinda to come and rock his world.
On the same day, Delilah was getting attached, so she ran to the
Dirty Dayna
Mar 07, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2019-buddy-reads

4 The Scanguard Scandal Stars
This book starts off rough and hot
Let me suck your cock

And it is followed up with a story I didn’t expect. This book doesn’t have Twilight or True Blood vibes. This book give the vibes of interview with a vampire except brought into a civilized modern world. Fangs, blood, sex, and non-apologetic alphas and with all of that .. you actually get a HUMAN story of vampires!! ( erectile dysfunction, dysfunctional love stories, cheaters, liars and more )
This story is
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
May 18, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: kindle-read
I just wanted to start by saying that this was probably my favourite free Kindle book I have read so far. I'll presume you have read the book description so I'll just go from there. I'll give a couple of basic parts of the book to help you decide if you want to read it yourself!
Samson is a vampire who owns a security company. Since his betrayel from ex-girlfriend Ilona, he has been unable to get an erection. That was nine months ago. For his birthday, his friends decide to get him a stripper in
Linda (un)Conventional Bookworms
3.5 stars

Samson's Lovely Mortal is a nice mix of UF, paranormal / vampire love story and mystery. I enjoyed Samson and Aumory a lot, Delilah grew on me.

Full review to come soon.

This and all my other reviews are originally posted on my blog (un)Conventional Bookviews
Liz F
Jun 15, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Excuse me, but why is there no button for 15 stars?? Because I just read a book that needs that designation!!!

Wow. Super wow. I loved this book. It ranks up there with Darkness Dawns by Dianne Duvall. Yeah, seriously. In fact, I don't know which I loved more. But I think they are not really similar enough to compare. Yes, they are both paranormal romance but I kind of think that's where the similarities end. As always, let me give you a little into...

Samson is a vampire, a rich vampire. No, more
Jun 17, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Cynthia by: Laurie Garrison

A love story of Samson and Delilah. I know, it sounds corny, but it works.

Samson believes the woman in distress that shows up on his doorstep is his “surprise” birthday gift stripper from his friends. This case of mistaken identity leads to a passion that can’t be denied, secrets revealed and deception from unexpected sources. An original storyline that includes a powerful vampire with ED and several vampires who visit a psychiatrist on a regular basis. If the opening sentence of this novel
Mello ❣ Illium ✮Harry✮ ☀Myrnin☀ Torin Ichimaru
I don't know why, but when I started reading this, I did not know this was more of an erotic romance as opposed to a PNR. Not that I minded, but the first line of chapter one took me completely off guard. I then knew what I was getting myself into.

I have to say, that I was very aware that this was the first book in a series while I was reading it. I didn't fully connect with the characters, but I did like them. There were a few scene changes that felt a bit abrupt as well. Overall, I really did
Pretty steamy freebie with the usual, sexy, tall dark and handsome vampire. Beautiful human woman falls into moody vampires arms.

In all his hundreds of years he has never known a woman like her. Never been kissed like she kisses him. Never shagged like he has with her. It's like nothing he has ever experienced before.


Yeah yeah. You know how it goes! This one is pretty much the same. Although highly predictable plot line which we have all read before. It's still entertaining, romantic and
*** 3 1/2 stars ***

This wasn't a bad read, it just wasn't great. The characters weren't fleshed out enough for me to truly care much about them. The heroine started to annoy me when she was so mean after she found out what Sampson was then she pulled an idiotic TSTL move. The hero was a little too lovey dovey nice too. But it was an okay story and free on Kindle. Others friends liked it more than I.
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Tina Folsom is a New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author. She's always been self-published and has found tremendous success with her paranormal series, Scanguards Vampires, Venice Vampyr, and Out of Olympus, selling more than 2 million copies of her 50 titles (which includes titles in German, French, and Spanish) in almost 4 years.

Tina writes about hot alpha heroes, bad boys, and kick-ass

Other books in the series

Scanguards Vampires (1 - 10 of 12 books)
  • Amaury's Hellion (Scanguards Vampires, #2)
  • Gabriel's Mate (Scanguards Vampires, #3)
  • Yvette's Haven (Scanguards Vampires, #4)
  • Zane's Redemption (Scanguards Vampires, #5)
  • Quinn's Undying Rose (Scanguards Vampires, #6)
  • Oliver's Hunger (Scanguards Vampires, #7)
  • Thomas's Choice (Scanguards Vampires, #8)
  • Cain's Identity (Scanguards Vampires, #9)
  • Luther's Return (Scanguards Vampires, #10)
  • Blake's Pursuit (Scanguards Vampires, #11)
“Bite me, damn it, or I'll kick you in the balls so hard, you'll scream into the next century!” 66 likes
“Champagne?" Carl asked.
"You know we don't drink champagne, Carl." Ricky laughed.
"Yes, but I don't think it's polite in mixed company to gulp down glasses of blood.”
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