Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Good Chinese Wife: A Love Affair with China Gone Wrong” as Want to Read:
Good Chinese Wife: A Love Affair with China Gone Wrong
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

Good Chinese Wife: A Love Affair with China Gone Wrong

3.75  ·  Rating details ·  461 Ratings  ·  92 Reviews
A stunning memoir of an intercultural marriage gone wrong

When Susan, a shy Midwesterner in love with Chinese culture, started graduate school in Hong Kong, she quickly fell for Cai, the Chinese man of her dreams. As they exchanged vows, Susan thought she'd stumbled into an exotic fairy tale, until she realized Cai--and his culture--where not what she thought.

In her rivetin
...more
Paperback, 337 pages
Published July 29th 2014 by Sourcebooks (first published January 1st 2014)
More Details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Good Chinese Wife, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about Good Chinese Wife

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
Rating details
Sort: Default
|
Filter
Eve
 photo image.jpg1_1.jpg

As a lover of Asian culture, I especially loved this memoir! Kason returns to Hong Kong for her post-graduate studies in the early 90s after a high school trip. An aficionado of Chinese culture, language and customs, she plans on relocating permanently after finishing school.

Things change when she meets her Chinese Prince Charming, Cai, a Taoist Musical Studies graduate student from Mainland China. After a whirlwind “Chinese courtship,” Kason finds herself married to Cai, his extended family, an
...more
June Junebug
I'm seeing a lot of victim blame-y and xenophobic/orientalist reviews so I'm hoping to get my hands on a copy so that I can review it as an Asian-American who has also survived abuse myself. And, being my awesome self, I have to respond to the nasty reviews going on with this right now because what I'm seeing is very disrespectful toward my culture and victims of abuse.

There are a lot of reviewers saying the moral of the story is to not marry someone you barely know and to not marry someone from
...more
Christine
Feb 21, 2014 rated it it was amazing
So, long-winded story time: My best friend is a girl we'll call "Mari." One day, in her early twenties, Mari went on an island vacation, and there she fell in love.

Let's call him "Henry." I was happy Mari was in love; she'd had her heart broken in her teens and I thought it was high time she had a new relationship. For Henry, she was willing to sacrifice. For him she left her job, her family, her country. They shared his apartment; they got a dog; she found a new job and learned his language. T
...more
Patrick
I would have rated this book four stars, then I decided to reduce one, because of the repetitive theme of the author excusing her husband's bad behavior on "cultural differences". It took 40 chapters for the penny to drop and she begins to admit she married an ass****. The whole title of the book is misleading, love affairs with any sociopathic jerks are destined to go wrong, but what does that have to do with China? Her marriage was doomed regardless of race or culture if she married the wrong ...more
Jacki (Julia Flyte)
Jun 12, 2014 rated it really liked it
Moral: Don't marry men from other countries and cultures whom you have only know a short time.

Susan Blumberg-Kason grew in suburban Chicago and from an early age was fascinated by China. After graduating from college in the US, she seizes the opportunity to do a Masters degree in Hong Kong. There the somewhat shy and sheltered student meets a handsome Chinese boy called Cai. After only a few months he proposes, warning her almost immediately afterwards that sometimes he can lose his temper but i
...more
Kim Fay
Aug 04, 2014 rated it it was amazing
While reading this book, I found myself intrigued by the calm I felt in the writing. I could feel the peace the author had already made with the part of her life she was writing about, but at the same time, this did not stop the story from being compelling - a quiet book that is a page turner is an art anymore. Memoirs now are so melodramatic, or have some crazy hook such as my-mom-was-a-trapeze-artist-my-dad-ate-out-of-dumpsters-I-overcame-addiction and I MUST tell someone about it all. To be h ...more
Meg
Aug 04, 2014 rated it really liked it
When first we meet Susan, a young American woman studying in Hong Kong, we see her as eager and inexperienced — a lover of Chinese culture who is quickly romanced by fellow student Cai, so handsome and sure. Through innocent, intellectual evening chats and patience, Cai courts Susan — and proposes very quickly. Susan, entranced and bewitched by him, agrees.

From there, it unravels.

Questionable relationships. Porn addiction. Extramarital issues. Abandonment, “peep shows,” detachment. Coldness. Thr
...more
Tom Carter
Dec 04, 2013 rated it it was amazing
A true cautionary tale for any romantics abroad who believe that exotic intrigue is enough to sustain an interracial marriage, Good Chinese Wife will wrench hearts as much as it will enrage readers on both sides of the gender debate.

Susan Blumberg-Kason is a shy, frizzy-haired American exchange student in Hong Kong, where she meets an attractive Chinese scholar ten years her senior. Waltzing their nights away in dance halls, the previously married Cai doesn’t waste time. “In China couples tradit
...more
Jeanette
Apr 21, 2015 rated it really liked it
There are aspects of this book I could give a 2 star and some I could give a 5. For honesty it gets a 6. For my enjoyment, it gets about a 3. But I couldn't put it down because I HAD to know what/ when her out was going to be. And if it included losing her child. As with other memoirs I have read about expat marriages and child custody or kidnapping.

That Susan could have attributed all of these events and attributions of her relationship with Cai to a difference in cultural perception or habit?
...more
Randee
Aug 07, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: asian-books
We know going into it that this will not end well from the title. Although this is a memoir of an American girl(Chicagoan at that!) who married a Chinese man, it was extremely suspenseful. Like many a twenty something, Susan confused attraction for love. Like many a twenty something she felt like an outsider and was flattered when a handsome man showed her attention. She ignored early warning signals because she was too young and/or experienced to recognize them or she dismissed them because she ...more
Karen
My only comment about this book is that the author's Ex-Chinese husband probably has some kind of mental/social disorder which is not limited to a certain race.
Ray
Sep 02, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: china, nonfic, ebook
“Good Chinese Wife” is a new memoir published by Sourcebooks, and is a poignant tale expats should enjoy about the overlap of China and the West. Susan Blumberg-Kason details her unfortunate marriage to a Chinese music scholar, as they meet while studying in Hong Kong and then travel to his hometown in Hubei Province before eventually settling in San Francisco, California.

The central question posed by their troubled relationship is whether their differences were due to culture or personality. In
...more
王曼卿
Jul 25, 2014 rated it really liked it
A review copy of this book was generously provided by the publisher and it truly arrived at the perfect time. I’m currently planning a small overseas wedding and it seems like most of my friends are moving, welcoming a new child or going through a divorce. The issues discussed in Good Chinese Wife have been at the forefront of my mind over the last few months and I found it easy to relate to the joys and frustrations shared in this memoir.

When I first read the description, I was concerned that t
...more
Amazon
Jul 30, 2014 rated it it was amazing

The best travel literature is written by people who live in a country, submit to its culture, and love it—warts and all. Susan Blumberg-Kason in her new memoir, Good Chinese Wife, does all of that and much more. She traveled to China, moved to Hong Kong, and fell in love with a man from a small Chinese town. And reader, she married him--and lived to tell the tale.

Few women of her time were as freshly-minted as Susan was when she went off to graduate school in pre-handover Hong Kong. Her geograph
...more
Mandy
Jul 31, 2014 rated it really liked it
When the author met a handsome Chinese man whilst studying in Hong Kong and he asked her to marry him, she thought all her dreams had come true. For the next 5 years, in China and in the US, she did all she could to be a Good Chinese Wife. But ultimately the dream turned sour and the cultural differences between the couple, plus her husband’s extremely selfish behaviour, meant she was forced to make the difficult decision to leave the marriage.
This is a frank and painfully honest account of a cr
...more
CL
 photo LIASOM_zps9e498f89.png

Received an ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

As someone who has straddled two cultures for her whole life and for whom Hong Kong is a second home, I jumped on the chance to read this book. After all, what better way to gain an insight into the difficulties arising from the marriage of two cultures than to read what happened when it doesn't work.

Well, I think it's fair to say that after reading this, I know to be extremely wary of any man from the mainland China provinces who o
...more
Meg - A Bookish Affair
Aug 05, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2014, memoir, non-fiction
"Good Chinese Wife" is the memoir of Susan, who goes to study in Hong Kong and China as a young woman. She is fascinated with the people and the culture. She meets a man who is much older than she is, Cai. He is worldly and debonair and she falls for him. They get married quickly in order to sightsee around China and almost immediately, they begin having problems. Cai becomes very controlling of everything Susan does. Cai also seems to be hiding a lot of big secrets of his own. When the couple h ...more
Patty Mccormick
Aug 03, 2014 rated it really liked it
I liked this one a lot! What struck me most is that this is Susan’s real life experiences. Cai would have been difficult to be married to even if he was American!! It probably should have been called Bad Chinese Husband. That doesn’t sound very nice though and probably wouldn’t sell many books. LOL. Susan blames herself for most of the problems in their marriage. Why do women think everything is their fault? I think had her child been a daughter her life might have been drastically different. My ...more
Maria
Jun 30, 2014 rated it it was amazing
One of the best books that I have ever read, Susan tells the story of her marriage to Cai, a man that she meets while in graduate school in Hong Kong. She talks about the trials and tribulations of being with a man who expects too much of her, without him giving anything in return. I was very impressed with Susan's style of writing; it was explanatory and detailed, talking about all of the issues that she faced from her perspective. There were many characters of the book that were introduced whi ...more
Peter Tieryas
Dec 18, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Susan Blumberg-Kason transcends culture with this moving narrative.

http://entropymag.org/the-good-chines...
Tara
Aug 03, 2016 rated it really liked it
There are many thoughts when looking back on this story. My main 'takeaway' from Susan Kasons' tale of 'intercultural' marriage is that one MUST have self esteem before entering any relationship. Second, one must take time (yes, investment is hard for many) to see if the honeymoon phase is just that. One step more, to see if the feelings of one are reciprocated by the other. Third, one must be able to state his/her thoughts when in 'said' relationship. If you find yourself holding back your thou ...more
Noelle
Jun 13, 2015 rated it really liked it
It was as if I was reading a familiar novel, in a far place I had traveled to. Susan wrote about aspects, customs, places ( Hong Kong ) that I had learned about. Even certain behaviors and words in Mandarin, were familiar.
To coin a phrase which I dislike, " East is east, and west is west, and never the twain shall meet," this was all too true in her account of her marriage experience. I fail to view it as a romance.
Although stereotyped by many, I have discovered that relationships between Asian
...more
Autumn Ashbough
Jun 29, 2015 rated it really liked it
I picked up this book with a sense of foreboding, like I would any book where you just know the romantic interest is going to -- at the very least -- be emotionally abusive and it's not going to end well. The author does nothing to dispel this sense, but she does an excellent job of capturing the beautiful, blissful moments that occurred just enough to keep her with her then-husband, Cai. Even while you're mentally urging Susan to run, you understand her insistence that if she can just be the go ...more
Kim Weiss
Nov 05, 2014 rated it liked it
I enjoy a good "marriage gone wrong" book from time to time, but this one was just OK. The story just wasn't dramatic enough. Like Betty Mahmoody in "Not Without My Daughter," Susan married a man of a different culture and risked losing her child in another country. Betty escaped over the border from Iran to Turkey over several mountain ranges. Susan flew from San Francisco to Chicago and moved in with her rich parents.

Like Dina Matos McGreevey, author of "Silent Partner," Susan's husband proba
...more
Rainier
Aug 12, 2016 rated it liked it
In my seeming never-ending quest to understand culture(s) and the cross-cultural experience, this book gave me some good food for thought. Unlike some reviewers, I get the narrator second-guessing herself and her difficulty in setting healthy, appropriate boundaries, especially as a young person. I can understand her confusion, "is this a matter of cultural differences or is what's going on just this individual/relationship?" particularly the deeper she goes in her marriage and process of accult ...more
Kathryn
Aug 22, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: memoir, non-fiction
I'm not sure where to start with this book. It wasn't the well-written prose or Asia-related parts that made me give this five stars - it was how terrified I felt when I was reading it. It's been over seven years since my own abusive relationship ended, but the fear as I was reading this was physical and intense, because I knew what she was going through, explaining, and afraid of. This is an amazing look at not only different cultural norms, but human relationships and the power of the human sp ...more
Kathryn Berla
Since when does writing about leaving your husband who watches porn, hangs out too much with his friends, and (possibly) cheats, qualify as a memoir? Even if they are from different cultures. And how do you publicly accuse him of your unproved suspicions regarding his sexual proclivity and infidelities when he's still alive, still the father of your son, and still supposedly a somewhat friend of yours?
Brianna DuMont
Jul 25, 2014 rated it it was amazing
The best memoirs whisk you away seamlessly into someone else's life. I enjoyed my escapism and devoured the book in two days. While the book centers on Susan and Cai's relationship, I enjoyed experiencing mainland China, the food, sights, sounds, and smells and learning about the differences between there and Hong Kong.
Emma
Dec 30, 2014 rated it liked it
An enjoyable, easy read that gave insight into the difference between the Hong Kong and Mainland Chinese mindset. Particularly interesting if you live in HK, China, or are married to someone from either place.
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • How Does One Dress to Buy Dragonfruit? True Stories of Expat Women in Asia
  • Have Mother, Will Travel: A Mother and Daughter Discover Themselves, Each Other, and the World
  • Confessions of a Qantas Flight Attendant: True Tales and Gossip from the Galley
  • Unsavory Elements: Stories of Foreigners on the Loose in China
  • Postcards from Tomorrow Square: Reports from China
  • Kosher Chinese: Living, Teaching, and Eating with China's Other Billion
  • Smoke and Mirrors : An Experience of China
  • Cutted Chicken in Shanghai
  • The Hearts of Men: American Dreams and the Flight from Commitment
  • Lucky Girl: A Memoir
  • We All Wore Stars: Memories of Anne Frank from Her Classmates
  • In the House of the Interpreter
  • Butterfly Woman
  • On the Line
  • Fortunate Sons: The 120 Chinese Boys Who Came to America, Went to School, and Revolutionized an Ancient Civilization
  • Home is a Roof Over a Pig: An American Family's Journey in China
  • Do Tampons Take Your Virginity?: A Catholic Girl's Memoir
  • Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet

Nonfiction Deals

  • A Guide to the Present Moment
    $7.99 $2.99
  • Hunting Eichmann: How a Band of Survivors and a Young Spy Agency Chased Down the World's Most Notorious Nazi
    $9.99 $2.99
  • The Breaks of the Game
    $11.99 $2.99
  • Soul Keeping: Caring For the Most Important Part of You
    $9.99 $1.99
  • How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization
    $8.24 $1.99
  • Dry
    $9.99 $3.99
  • Animal Liberation: The Definitive Classic of the Animal Movement
    $17.99 $1.99
  • The Measure of a Man
    $8.74 $1.99
  • Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions
    $13.99 $2.99
  • 100 Days of Real Food: How We Did It, What We Learned, and 100 Easy, Wholesome Recipes Your Family Will Love
    $8.99 $1.99
  • Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living
    $9.99 $2.99
  • Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity
    $13.99 $2.99
  • Best Friends: The True Story of the World's Most Beloved Animal Sanctuary
    $14.99 $1.99
  • Let. It. Go.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith
    $4.99 $1.99
  • Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis
    $9.24 $1.99
  • The Earth Shall Weep: A History of Native America
    $17.99 $1.99
  • Crown of Blood: The Deadly Inheritance of Lady Jane Grey
    $17.48 $1.99
  • The Story of Sushi: An Unlikely Saga of Raw Fish and Rice
    $12.49 $1.99
  • The Noticer Returns: Sometimes You Find Perspective, and Sometimes Perspective Finds You
    $9.99 $2.99
  • Scar Tissue
    $11.99 $2.99
  • Running with Scissors
    $9.99 $3.99
  • The Black Hole War: My Battle with Stephen Hawking to Make the World Safe for Quantum Mechanics
    $9.99 $2.99
  • Notes on a Banana: A Memoir of Food, Love and Manic Depression
    $11.99 $1.99
  • Lunch in Paris: A Love Story, with Recipes
    $9.99 $2.99
  • And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic
    $9.99 $2.99
  • The Vegetable Butcher: How to Select, Prep, Slice, Dice, and Masterfully Cook Vegetables from Artichokes to Zucchini
    $22.95 $1.99
  • Facing Your Giants: The God Who Made a Miracle Out of David Stands Ready to Make One Out of You
    $9.99 $2.99
  • Fat Girl Walking: Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin...Every Inch of It
    $8.99 $1.99
  • The Egg and I
    $9.99 $1.99
  • The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More
    $12.74 $1.99
  • Just Another Kid
    $7.99 $1.99
  • The Second World War
    $12.99 $3.99
  • Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World
    $9.99 $1.99
  • The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids
    $11.24 $1.99
  • I Am Not Myself These Days (P.S.)
    $13.24 $1.99
  • In the Beginning...Was the Command Line
    $9.49 $1.99
  • The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
    $11.99 $1.99
  • The Toltec Art of Life and Death
    $11.49 $1.99
  • Put Your Dream to the Test: 10 Questions to Help You See It and Seize It
    $9.49 $2.99
  • The Diva Rules: Ditch the Drama, Find Your Strength, and Sparkle Your Way to the Top
    $17.99 $2.99
  • A Brief History of Time
    $9.99 $2.99
  • The Honest Truth About Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone--Especially Ourselves
    $9.99 $1.99
  • All My Road Before Me: The Diary of C. S. Lewis, 1922-1927
    $10.99 $1.99
  • The Penguin Lessons
    $12.99 $1.99
  • What They Don't Teach You at Harvard Business School: Notes from a Street-smart Executive
    $12.99 $1.99
  • The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
    $10.99 $2.99
  • Meet Me in the Bathroom: Rebirth and Rock and Roll in New York City 2001-2011
    $12.99 $2.99
  • What We Talk About When We Talk About God
    $11.49 $2.99
  • Running with the Kenyans: Passion, Adventure, and the Secrets of the Fastest People on Earth
    $4.99 $1.99
  • Pilgrim's Wilderness: A True Story of Faith and Madness on the Alaska Frontier
    $11.99 $1.99
  • Seabiscuit: An American Legend
    $12.99 $1.99
  • Factory Man: How One Furniture Maker Battled Offshoring, Stayed Local - and Helped Save an American Town
    $9.99 $2.99
  • Creating Magic: 10 Common Sense Leadership Strategies from a Life at Disney
    $12.99 $1.99
  • Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist: Unlocking the Secrets of the Last Supper
    $11.99 $1.99
  • The Power Of Habit: Why We Do What We Do In Life And Business
    $12.99 $2.99
  • The Storm of War: A New History of the Second World War
    $10.99 $1.99
  • The Apache Wars: The Hunt for Geronimo, the Apache Kid, and the Captive Boy Who Started theLongest War in American History
    $12.99 $1.99
  • Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention
    $10.49 $1.99
  • Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness
    $17.99 $1.99
  • French Kids Eat Everything: How Our Family Moved to France, Cured Picky Eating, Banned Snacking, and Discovered 10 Simple Rules for Raising Happy, Healthy Eaters
    $12.49 $2.99
  • When the Game Was Ours
    $9.99 $2.99
  • Tomorrowland: Our Staggering Journey from Science Fiction to Science Fact
    $5.99 $1.99
  • The Art of Power
    $13.99 $1.99
  • Through My Eyes
    $8.74 $1.99
  • Romantic Outlaws: The Extraordinary Lives of Mary Wollstonecraft and Her Daughter Mary Shelley
    $13.99 $1.99
  • A Brief History of Everything
    $14.99 $2.99
  • The Invitation
    $12.24 $2.99
  • The World's Religions, Revised and Updated (Plus)
    $8.74 $1.99
  • Leonardo's Notebooks
    $11.99 $2.99
  • An American Childhood
    $10.74 $1.99
  • Making Toast
    $9.99 $1.99
  • Under the Black Flag: The Romance and the Reality of Life Among the Pirates
    $14.99 $1.99
  • Those Guys Have All the Fun: Inside the World of ESPN
    $11.99 $2.99
  • 2,000 to 10,000: How to Write Faster, Write Better, and Write More of What You Love
    $2.99 $1.49
  • Leaving Church: A Memoir of Faith
    $10.99 $1.99
  • Eating on the Wild Side: The Missing Link to Optimum Health
    $9.99 $2.99
  • Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey
    $10.24 $1.99
  • Secret Historian: The Life and Times of Samuel Steward, Professor, Tattoo Artist, and Sexual Renegade
    $9.99 $3.99
  • Thinkertoys: A Handbook of Creative-Thinking Techniques
    $11.99 $1.99
  • Saving Alex: When I Was Fifteen I Told My Mormon Parents I Was Gay, and That's When My Nightmare Began
    $9.49 $1.99
  • Walden on Wheels: On the Open Road from Debt to Freedom
    $5.99 $1.99
  • Clapton: The Autobiography
    $11.99 $1.99