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What's Left of Me

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Life works in mysterious ways.

Four years ago I became known as the girl with cancer.

I refuse to cry.

And I refuse to give in.

A relationship with a man is the last thing I’m looking for right now, but one night with Parker changes everything. He is persistent, and he knows what he wants. Me.

He doesn’t treat me like I’m fragile.

But he doesn’t know, and I’m not ready to tell him.

What if it changes everything?

Tragedy found me when I was seventeen.

Love found me when I was twenty-one.

My name is Aundrea McCall, and this is my journey.

329 pages, ebook

First published December 9, 2013

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Amanda Maxlyn

13 books632 followers

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 974 reviews
Profile Image for k.
98 reviews282 followers
December 31, 2013
4 Not Much Left of Me Stars!

'Someone once told me that it’s not about whether there is life after you die, but whether you’re alive before you die. I didn't believe I could ever feel alive again. Not until Parker.' I am Aundrea McCall, and I am a survivor.'
It can break you.
Or it can make you stronger.
I choose stronger.
I choose survival.

Wow, this one's a tearjerker!

What's Left of Me had me hooked from the first page! I rarely put it down, only when necessary, for I had to find out what would happen to Aundrea and Parker next! Would she live or die? HEA or NSHEA? Let me start off by saying that when I read the blurb for this book I knew it would be a sad book. What book about cancer isn't? Still, I thought I was prepared. I thought I could handle it without crying..and I was wrong yet again. I cried ugly tears while reading this book.

"Aundrea, you have already left your mark.” Picking up my hand, he places it over his heart. "Right here. You, Aundrea Leigh McCall, are the beat of my heart. I will give you my own breath, if it means keeping you alive."

What's it all about?
What's Left of Me is about Aundrea and Parker. Aundrea was an amazing heroine to read about. She's tough yet vulnerable. You see, Aundrea has cancer. Has had cancer for 4 years now. She's the type of heroine that hates people taking care of her, hate's feeling helpless + lifeless. Everything changes when she meets Parker though. Parker, the young new veterinarian who works with her brother in law. Parker makes Andrea feel truly beautiful for the first time in her life. He shows her what it is to live. He teaches her that even though she's been dealt a shitty lot in life, she can still come out on top.

The only problem however is that Parker doesn't know that Aundrea has cancer. And Aundrea has no intentions of telling him...

"How do you tell someone you love that you have cancer? That you're slowly slipping away? That your body is floating away from you? There is no right time. No right moment. No right words. Words I need to speak. Words I need to form, but can't seem to get out."

This book is mostly about the journey of Aundrea and Parker together as they fall in love. The whole time you're reading it's heartbreaking, because you know that eventually the balls going to drop and Parker is either going to find out she has cancer or she's going to have to tell him herself. So sad, the lengths she goes through to hide it from him. My heart broke for both of them. Their love for each other was so strong and true. I never doubted it for a minute.

"You own me, Aundrea. I couldn’t walk away from you if I tried. The second I laid eyes on you that night, in the mirror, I knew it.” He takes my hands in his, squeezing gently. “I would be a damn fool to let you slip away from me. I am so unbelievably in love with you."

I'm not going to say much more on that topic for I don't want to spoil this book for anyone. Just be prepared to bring tissues. I was absolutely amazed that this is Amanda Maxlyn's first book, for if the writing is profound enough to make me cry, then that's the mark of a great book! Well done! The only thing that prevents me from giving this book 5 stars is the ending. I HATED it. I'm sure some people won't be bothered by it, but I didn't like it. AT ALL. While I really really liked this one, I just wish the ending left me with a little something more. However don't let that deter you for this is still a fantastic read and I highly recommend it!

"I’m scared that I’m going to go through life without leaving a trace of myself behind. I want to do things like travel, or be spontaneous, to show that even after I’m gone, I’ve left a small trace of me behind. I’m afraid that one morning I simply won’t wake up and there won’t be anything to show for the life I’ve lived."

"More tears fall. I never thought of myself as one of those women. The type who get all sappy when a man says they love them, or vice versa, but now I understand why they do, because it’s in this
moment that I know I’ve found the person I was meant to be with."

Profile Image for Jessica's Book Review.
594 reviews374 followers
November 21, 2013
What’s Left Of Me had me at EVERY page! I couldn’t put down my Kindle to eat, to clean, to sleep until I read to the end. It is such an emotional, yet sexy, fun, and sad read all in one. Because of books like What’s Left of Me is why I LOVE to read and why I LOVE book boyfriends because I have a new one and his name is Parker Jackson… he’s all mine ladies!



I was immediately drawn into the story from the first page. What’s Left of Me is written in the point of view of 21 year-old Aundrea. At first she seems like your typical college girl going out for the night with a group of girls but Aundrea is hiding has cancer and has been battling the fight against her sickness for four years. Aundrea is determined to have fun, let loose and enjoy herself while she is a new city where no one knows her as the girl with cancer. That is when she meets him…. She meets Parker and boy is it fun and sexy! They have a wild hot night together with Aundrea leaving early that morning hoping to never see him again… but of course she does.

Parker turns out to be her new brother in-law’s partner… did I mention he is HOT older veterinarian? Parker is persistent in getting Aundrea to go out with him but Aundrea doesn’t date… she doesn’t know what her life she has left and does not need to involve anyone else in her pain. They have this cute flirtatious friendship that is forming. Even though they already had sex they are still building up to something and I love that I was still eager for them to truly to get together. Parker is the sweetest, sexiest, most caring man ever in a book. I loved him but I also loved Aundrea.

The writing really got to me; it touched my soul just because of the amazing details the author had while explain everything Aundrea is/was going through to help her beat cancer. I have never had to go through with anyone close to me having to endure cancer or chemotherapy before and reading the words of what Aundrea was experiencing was heart wrenching; the moments she was losing her hair, in pain, the procedures. It was just awful to have to read about but what an amazing job the author did in really connecting her reader to Aundrea’s character, I wanted to be there for Aundrea holding her hand the entire time.

The book really deals going back and forth between Aundrea being afraid to let Parker close because she doesn’t know what life will bring her or take away and having to deal with having cancer and what it does to one’s body and soul. She hides everything from Parker and I was just waiting for the moment in the book when he would have to know what she was going through. There was just no way she could hide it any longer. I was on the edge of my seat waiting and waiting and wanting to know how Parker would react.

I love Aundrea and Parker’s relationship. They did not meet the conventional way and “hooked-up” immediately but they still had this great build-up since Aundrea wouldn’t let Parker get close to her. The ending had me in total shock face. I don’t even want to ruin it for you so I won’t say too much but just know WHATEVER you are thinking, you’re wrong and I will leave it at that!

What’s Left Of Me took me on a wonderful, sad yet sweet journey about living life to the fullest and loving the ones who are lucky enough to be part of your life. I am so happy I was able to experience it and meet Parker Jackson because he is my new book boyfriend… Oh yes he is!

I give What’s Left Of Me 4.5 Stars!

Book provided by the author in return for an honest review.


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Profile Image for Jess-i-ca ~Sometimes a Gif Witch~.
797 reviews744 followers
December 16, 2013
4 stars.

"I am Aundrea McCall, and I am a survivor."

Aundrea was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 17 and apparently it decides to come back again four years later.

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She moves in with her adopted sister, Genna, to Rochester while getting treatment. While out one night with a friend at the club shaking her booty she meets hottie Parker. (Ok, technically she met him in the bathroom but whatever.)

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They go back to his apartment and have some super hot sexxy times...

Aundrea tries to bail on her one night stand but fate allows them to meet again....

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Parker falls head over heels but Aundrea isn't looking for a relationship. Aundrea hasn't considered marriage or kids in her future due to her worry about whether or not she will survive the cancer.

Aundrea didn't want Parker to know about her cancer b/c then he would show her the same sympathy as everyone else. That's part of why she kept him at an arm's length for so long. But then finally she lets him know.

And Parker is so awesome.....

"You're scared, but just because you can't see your future, doesn't mean that I can't. I see it clearly because I can see mine."

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It was an overall very enjoyable story but reasons I couldn't do a 5 are:
Profile Image for *J* Too Many Books Too Little Time.
1,921 reviews3,437 followers
December 16, 2013
4.5--Cancer Sucks and Parker Kicks Ass--Stars!!

Despite the heavy undertones of the book, the blurb grabbed me. I knew this was going to be sad. I knew it was going to hurt my heart. But I was also hoping that it would make me smile too. And it did...and it make me sigh and it made me laugh.

"My life changed the night I met Parker. He has shown me that it is possible to carry on with the life I was meant to live, showing the world that even though I was dealt a shitty hand in life, I still took the gamble and came out on top.

I am Aundrea McCall, and I am a survivor."

Aundrea was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 17....she's a fighter. She beat it once, only for it to come back again. Forced to leave her friends and family behind she moves in with her sister Genna to participate in a trial study. The doctors think it's her best chance at survival.

One of her first nights there she meets Parker.

"A man I'm spending time with.
A man I enjoy spending time with.
A man who makes me laugh.
A man who makes me feel alive.
A man who makes me forget about the shit I have going on."

Aundrea isn't looking for love or a relationship. Aundrea is scared. Scared of love. Scared of opening up. Scared of living. Scared of the unknown.

"You're scared, but just because you can't see your future, doesn't mean that I can't. I see it clearly because I can see mine."

Aundrea and Parker start out as friends. But Parker wants Aundrea and he'll do whatever it takes to get her.

"I want all of you, Aundrea. Everything and anything that you will give me. I want it all. I want to be your legs when you can't walk. I want to be your arms when you're too weak to eat. I want to be there for you day and night."

For once in her life, Aundrea doesn't want to be looked at as different. She's wants to be treated just like everyone else. She gets that with Parker. Because Parker doesn't know. He doesn't know that she's sick. He doesn't know that she has cancer.

"I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love you Parker. I think back over the time we've shared, and....even though our time together hasn't been that long, it's been the best time of my life. I just want to go on living my life with you, leaving my mark."

So many times I wanted to yell at Aundrea to just TELL PARKER THE TRUTH. Parker was PERFECTION. I fell in love with Parker. Everyones deserves their own Parker. He was kind, caring, gentle, loving. Every day that went by that he didn't know, broke my heart. I was scared for when he found out....I was scared for how he was going to find out...I was scared for how he would react.

"Aundrea, I will marry you. I will have children with you. I will have a long life with you. You and I will take on this world together. It's you and me. I will have it no other way. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, which is why I will fight for you until my dying breath."

This was Aundrea's journey. Her battle against cancer. Her falling in love for the first time. Her learning to let go and live every day as if it might be her last. Her letting people in to be her strength in times of weakness.

One woman. One battle. One love.

"I am Aundrea McCall, and I am a survivor."
Profile Image for Jeannine Allison.
Author 13 books506 followers
July 29, 2017
4.5 Stars (Re-Read 7/28/2017)

5 Stars (First Read 6/1/2015)

**FREE on Amazon**

HOLY. SHIT. I have so much to say, and yet I'm speechless at the same time. I have a mild headache and red, puffy cheeks from crying so hard. This book made me feel so much... the good and the bad. I absolutely loved it, even minor annoyances seemed inconsequential to how much I enjoyed this. I'll address those first, so I can gush about this novel for the rest of my review:

1) There were a few editing errors, or really more formatting issues, and at the beginning it was hard to follow, but once you realize this it's easier to keep up. I know a lot of people are put off by this (and it is slightly frustrating) but please, please try to get through it, you won't regret it.

3) This isn't really an annoyance as much as it is skepticism. I had a hard time believing the amount of physical activity she was capable of with Parker. I've never had cancer so I don't want to offend and say it's impossible, but I've never been in a situation where my physical pain felt nonexistent due to another person's presence. Again, I wasn't annoyed or thought it wasn't plausible, I just have never experienced it so I had a hard time relating.

3) SIGNIFICANT spoiler about the ending!

Now to the good stuff...



Wow. She was unbelievably strong. I loved her meltdown in the bathroom and her internal thoughts about her situation. She recognized that being weak in a moment does not make you weak. She's allowed to have that moment. My God is she, after all she's been through. I would be proud to call her my friend. I honestly wish she existed and we were friends. She was so level-headed about things and recognized that even though she has cancer, it affects others, too. She was strong for herself and everyone around her. I could read every single freaking page of her life and be impressed.



I want one. Seriously. He's the very definition of a book boyfriend. I love reading about men who have their shit together, aren't afraid to go after who they want, and don't play games while doing so. He pursued her without pressuring her and had no problem reminding her that he was only interested in her. And all this was before he even knew about the cancer. But after? Even more freaking amazing. He listened to her, held her, didn't try to hide his own fears, and most importantly: didn't treat her differently. I think I loved that the most. He wasn't being extra gentle or shying away from affection for fear he would hurt her, and he was constantly forcing her out of the house when all she wanted was to hide. Love is about knowing what the person needs even if they don't, and he definitely showed that.


- Aundrea + Parker -

I loved the quick start and the slow build up of their relationship. I have read a lot of novels where sex is drawn out because it's the ultimate act of showing love or intimacy, and I often find myself rolling my eyes. It's almost formulaic, like we need this, this, and this and then we can have sex because it's just too big of a deal to do with someone we don't love. This is a fine opinion to have, and I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it. But not every relationship is like that, and I feel like by setting that as a standard we're saying there is something wrong about doing things any differently and that you can't possibly find your soulmate if you sleep with him/her right away. So yes, I loved the fact that they slept together on day one, where they just learned each other's names. And once they re-met, they took things slower, got to know each other, and ultimately feel in love. It was absolutely perfect in my opinion. They made each other better, and ultimately that's what a relationship should do.

The characters, the way they fit together, and the story worked so well that it isn't a surprise I was a weeping mess for half of it. I thought the author highlighted the differences in how people grieve very well. Aundrea's mom, Jean, Gemma, Jason... they all supported her differently and it was nice to read about the differences. And even though . I would recommend this to anyone, but ready yourself with a full box of Kleenex, you WILL need it. But don't worry, it's not all sad crying, there were definitely some happy tears, too. For me, I think most of it came from the beautiful juxtaposition of such a strong woman with a disease that ultimately weakens you. The author really did an amazing job and can't wait for a continuation of Aundrea and Parker's story.



Profile Image for Rachael Orman.
Author 26 books369 followers
December 10, 2013
I'll start by saying that I am a cancer survivor for 10 years now so when I read the blurb about a girl that was going through chemo and falling in love while doing it, I had to read it. I met my husband while going through chemo so it really rang home for me. I completely related to Aundrea going through her chemo and hiding it from Parker. She didn't want to be treated like the sick girl, she wanted to be treated normal. We watch as their relationship develops even while seeing how hard it is for her to lead the double life. Parker is super sweet and wonderful in the book. Aundrea is strong willed and determined. It was a great read that I couldn't put down even if at points it brought things a little too close to my heart and made me cry.
Profile Image for Farah.
361 reviews499 followers
December 17, 2013

This is such a soul touching and heartbreaking book!

Not your everyday kind of book, this is deep and despite the depth of the book, this is one that's going to captivate you at every single page.

I devoured this book in one day!

Aundrea McCall, is sick...
Not your everyday kind of illness.
She has cancer.

Battling the fight to survive for the last four years Aundrea is tired of it all....

Despite beating cancer once, it's come back. And now the treatment fierce.

In the darkness of her disease, she meets Parker...

This man is astounding! I have such a deep love and respect for this guy!

When Aundrea meets him, she doesn't tell him about the cancer. Simply because he makes her feel alive. He gives her reason to want to live and she's not ready to give that up just yet...

So many times I wanted her to tell him the truth.
Yet target same time I was as scared as Aundrea.
But I had no reason to be, because Parker is the real deal.

He sees her for more than her illness.
For more than what's in the outside.
That beauty is skin deep and doesn't define you. Loosing her hair doesn't make her less beautiful...

Illness found Aundrea at the age of 17 and love found her at 21 and she is a survivor and her journey is beautiful....

Profile Image for Donna ~ The Romance Cover.
2,756 reviews312 followers
February 8, 2014
What’s Left of Me by Amanda Maxlyn
5 stars!!

“I don’t even feel like I’m a woman anymore. I look in the mirror, and all I see is this skinny, pale, empty, hairless body that has become unrecognizable. If everything that represents who I am is gone, then what’s left of me?”

This is one of those books that will stay with you for a long time! Everyone who knows me, knows that I am an emotional sap and I do cry…often, but this one had me in a complete and utter mess, I was destroyed, red puffy eyes, empty tear ducts, hiccups and guttural sobbing all whilst my husband slept…yes he slept through!!

This book does tackle the “big C,” yes it is emotional, yes it is powerful, yes it is angsty, yes it is heart breaking, but it is beautifully written and takes you on one gut wrenching, awe inspiring journey. Amanda Maxlyn had me glued to this book from the first page, I could not put it down. I loved the characters, I loved the story, I loved the writing…the epilogue…is just that…the FREAKIN MOTHER OF ALL EPILOGUES…yes that is shouty caps! This book had it all, I was in the mood for a sob fest and that is exactly what I got and I devoured it…I looked awful, but hell I was willing!

Aundrea has been dealt a crap hand of cards, she was 17 when she was first diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, she had beaten it once but now at the age of 21 it was time to beat it again. It was just before her course of treatment was to begin that her friends made her go out for the evening, they dressed her up and took her clubbing. She let her hair down, had a drink, had a dance and pulled…she pulled one gorgeous man called Parker…deciding to go with the flow and go against all her morals and her usual behaviour she goes back to his and has what she thinks is a one night stand…only Parker has other ideas!

“I was meant to meet Parker. He brings out the best in me. He brings out the life in me.”

The trouble is with suffering with cancer, you feel like a burden, you don’t want the pity, you want to be normal and treated just like everyone else, you don’t want to have to rely on those around you for the most menial, mundane things, but sometimes, just sometimes you have to let go and take the help and the moral support you can get and this is what Aundrea finds hard. Thank god Parker has staying power, he was determined to get the girl and wanted to fight for what he thought was his, Aundrea had touched him that night and it soon became apparent that these two were meant for each other. Now we just needed Aundrea to take that leap of faith and let Parker in.

“I hate people taking care of me. I hate feeling helpless. I hate feeling lifeless…and as much as my muscles ache, and as exhausted as I am…I refuse to give in. I refuse to back down. I refuse to submit. I refuse to cry.”

Aundrea though was thriving on him not knowing, she loved the fact that he treated her just like a normal person, there was no sadness, there was no pity, it was just Aundrea and Parker, Parker and Aundrea, but the trouble was, with each page you read you knew that the ball was going to get dropped and you were forever wondering what the aftermath was going to be.

It pained me to read the lengths that Aundrea was going to, to keep the truth from Parker. It broke my heart. I just wanted her to open up and let him in. I had faith in Parker, from the get go I had a feeling that he was different, I knew that he would understand and I was willing Aundrea to just TELL HIM!! Aundrea was such a strong character though, she was tough and she was resilient and she had her “outside” face, full of bravado, but on the inside she was still this frightened girl that would cry herself to sleep at night and it pained me to read.

This is one awe inspiring story though, through Aundrea I gained even more respect for those that suffer and beat cancer, you can never truly appreciate just what people go through, but through Aundrea’s eyes, I felt it and lived it. It is the sign of a great author if you can live and breathe a story and I did just that with this book. I was there with Aundrea every step of the way and as I said above, it hurt.

“Someone once told me that it’s not about whether there is life after you die, but whether you’re alive before you die. I didn’t believe I could ever feel alive again. Not until Parker.”

Parker, what can I say, he is just the best, he was totally and utterly adorable and truly perfect for Aundrea. He was there for her when she wanted, he didn’t pity, he didn’t coddle and mother her, but he was a vital support network that she never knew she needed. I wanted to hug him hard. Everyone needs a Parker!

“You’re scared, but just because you can’t see your future, doesn’t mean I can’t. I see it clearly because I can see mine.”

Amanda Maxlyn, you are a genius, this book is truly brilliant and breath taking and for a debut author I was mightily impressed. I lived and breathed this journey and for those few hours I was in another world, completely and utterly consumed in Aundrea and Parker’s story. It was a joy to read and as I said above, a story that will stay with me for a very long time. I cannot wait to see what comes next. Brilliant book, one click, you will not be disappointed.

Profile Image for Brandi.
629 reviews1,279 followers
December 17, 2013
This book is heavy. The harsh reality is that most of us have been affected by cancer in some way, at times I was overwhelmed. What's Left of Me is an achingly beautiful story about a young woman's struggle, not only to survive, but to overcome her fears.

I don't even feel like a woman anymore. I look in the mirror, and all I see is this skinny, pale, empty, hairless body that has become unrecognizable. If everything that represents who I am is gone, then what's left of me.

Aundrea's life has revolved around her diagnosis for the past 4 years. Cancer, the hateful bitch that it is, alters all those it touches. It changes the way people see you, taking your identity. All anyone sees is the cancer. During a girls night out, Aundrea is convinced to live a little - and meets Parker (who I think may be the perfect man). Aundrea in a new city, attempts to hide behind the wig. To keep her diagnosis a secret. She isn't looking for love, but Parker is persistent. Parker makes her feel alive, and gives her something to live for.

"You're scared, but just because you can't see your future, doesn't mean that I can't. I see it clearly because I can see mine."

This story has heart. An amazing debut novel. Now...the epilogue...well played Amanda. You got me. With tears steaming down my face, I may have cursed you a little bit.
Profile Image for Ash.
382 reviews39 followers
June 11, 2015
This book was freaking beautiful
I loved it - all the sad, happy, smile worthy, beautiful, tragic, crazy moments

I laughed, and I smiled....I teared up, but I also down right started sobbing. WOW, this book.....I've read a lot of books where another character has cancer....but I don't think i've read one where the main character did...and this was....very detailed. It was a really sad story, but it was so engaging, powerful even....I highly rec this book

The plot twist near the end had me freaking the fuck out, I just sat there crying my eyes out, and I was completely stunned. OMG, seriously! I think I am going to head straight to the sequel...who cares if its 330am. I sure as hell don't
Profile Image for Johanna.
212 reviews49 followers
December 21, 2013
*~*~*~3~3.5 Live life to the fullest stars*~*~*~*
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Someone once told me that it's not about whether there is life after you die, but whether you're alive before you die.

What's Left of Me is a story about surviving, living, and love. We are introduced to Andrea McCall. Andrea isn't your typical 22 year old, she lives her life in fear and never foresees a future. At 17 years old she was diagnosed with cancer and went into remission. It is not until four years later that her cancer comes knocking again at her doorstep.
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I refuse to give in.
I refuse to back down.
I refuse to submit.
I refuse to cry.

It is at this point that Andrea decides to move in with her older adopted sister, Genna, so she can receive her treatments. Andrea decides to blow off some steam and decides to have a girls night out with her best friend. While succumbing to her best friends chronic banter, Andrea decides to have a one night stand...Andddddddddd voila..
Parker pops into the equation. One alcohol induced night leads to one smoking
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sexual encounter.

Just when Andrea thought she would never see Parker again she discovers that he works with her brother in law in a veterinary clinic.
Luckily for Parker, he was able to convince and forge his way into Andrea's heart but with much difficulty. As far as Andrea was concerned she didn't want a committed relationship and she definitely did not want to tell Parker about her cancer. But against all internal struggles, Andrea decides to give Parker and their non relationship a try.
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What ends up blossoming is LOVE <333
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I never thought of myself as one of those woman. The type who get all sappy when a man says they love them, or vice versa, but now I understand why they do, because it's in this moment that I know I've found the person I was meant to be with.

Overall, What's Left of Me was an enjoyable read. I really enjoyed Parker, and they way he became so supportive and caring. Throughout the book Parker's true intentions and feelings were displayed for Andrea to see. I never doubted his love for her... Not once...

*~*~*~*ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review*~*~*~*

*****Sidenote: I am honored and thrilled that I not only got to read this advanced copy but that I also personally know this wonderful, sweet, talented author. Wonderful debut novel, Amanda!!! xx
Profile Image for Brandee - Brandee's Book Endings.
278 reviews34 followers
February 5, 2014
ON SALE FOR ONLY $.99 - UNTIL 2/7/14!
Amazon: http://amzn.to/1bBEoPU
B&N: http://bit.ly/JcM2X6
Kobo: http://bit.ly/19FDgYv
Itunes: http://bit.ly/18XUAgS

Amanda Maxlyn - Author has captured my heart with this achingly beautiful debut novel full of all you could ask for and more….strength, laughter, courage, family, friendship, raw emotion, love and most importantly hope. You will fall in love with these characters and pray they will get their happily ever after.
Profile Image for Maayan.
Author 3 books297 followers
March 19, 2015
What an emotional journey! The writer caught all the emotions of all the characters just in the right way! I connected with the heroine from beginning to end .. she is so powerful! All what she went through .. She always tries to be strong for those around her. She's a fighter and I encouraged her along the way. I felt her fears, her pain, and i fell in love along with her with Parker (I found a new book boyfrien Ladies!) he is Amazing! What a perfection! He has the whole package! What he did for her .. He was her rock and I loved their relationship. I really didn't want that the book will end ! 5 emotional stars!
Profile Image for Polly.
675 reviews251 followers
December 14, 2013
4.5 stars. Loved this book! Parker was the perfect guy. Super sweet and hot.

Why not 5 stars? The ending just didn't sit well with me. It ended on a low note when it shouldn't have. Maybe it's setting up for another book? I don't know. I would have rather it gone out with a great epilogue and been done.
157 reviews57 followers
July 25, 2018
If the author was trying to give me a heart attack, then she really succeeded In that with her epilogue, coz for a while my heart stopped beating.

A really emotional, heart warming book. I think this is the most underrated book I have read till now and it just makes me sad.

This book is really good on so many levels. It really makes you appreciate all the small things in life. You should live life to its fullest. You never know what's gonna happen next.
It really showed the pain and struggle of going through cancer and your heart aches for them.
A really wonderful book.

{{Someone once told me that it’s not about whether there is life after you die, but whether you’re alive before you die.}}
Profile Image for Tough Critic Book Reviews.
308 reviews2,153 followers
December 17, 2013
When stars really don't matter…until they do, but then they don't…or do they?


Okay so maybe I'm not the only one, but I seem to be one of the first people not shitting tears or wanting to make sweet sweet love to this book. Maybe my heart is defective, or maybe just maybe…I have a good reason for my rating. I'll attempt to explain.

Amanda Maxlyn can write! How many times have I reviewed a book where I incessantly complain about how I liked the "idea" of a book or loved the "concept". Countless reviews explaining that it wasn't about the story the author was trying to tell, but the execution….the writing. Being an author is more than having an amazing idea, a beautiful story in your head. Those ideas have to translate onto paper. An author has to write. You, Amanda Maxlyn, can write.

What's Left of Me is a beautiful story, a good story, but it lacked to give me something that elicited an emotional response. The story wasn't anything I hadn't read before. I could tell where the story was going before it went there, and it was so reminiscent of other books I've read with similar plots. The author definitely made the characters her own, and wrote beautifully, but I needed more from the plot. What can I say; I'm greedy like that.

Now onto what made my final thought of this book be, "son of a bitch"...the epilogue. The epilogue made me want to slap Amanda Maxlyn's ass in a job well done! That is the type of writing and emotional solicitation that creates amazing books. If the author could have done that with my emotions the entire book, my rating would have been five stars easy.

However, in the end, the beautiful writing and beautiful moments just weren't enough for me to overlook the feeling that there was something missing.

So yes, this was a good book, but saying it was great solely based off the epilogue heard round the world just wouldn't be fair. I needed more from the story.

Either way, I am very excited and intrigued to see what Ms. Maxlyn has in store for us next.

Profile Image for Annie Brewer.
Author 13 books756 followers
December 12, 2013
LOVED this book hard!!! So hard! Amanda, I'm speechless! So amazing!!!!! <3

~Full review to come~
Profile Image for Amanda.
429 reviews110 followers
March 15, 2017
 photo da3b031d345be1fa23a11bdd86be7717_zps5qkubftf.png
Items ticked off: 10

Despite what my status updates on this book might imply, I did like this one. When it comes to NA, I rarely say that. For a New Adult story this is a really good one. It never felt too tropey, and that's one gigant plus in my book these days. A New Adult story that isn't tropey, believe that I will be all over it. And I was. What's Left of Me is much enjoyed by my friends and I had high expectations, maybe a little too high.

What's Left of Me is the story of Aundrea. She's been fighting cancer for the better part of her life and is getting tired of the way the illness dictates her life. Her character is easy to feel for, and unlike some NA heroines, I was rooting for her all the way through. Despite her luck, or lack thereof, she tries to make the best out of it. Sure, she has her issues and that's understandable. All in all, she's a great character. Truly, she and all the other characters were lovable with all their ups and downs. Heck, this might be the best set of characters in a NA story I've read in quite some time.

The thing though, bringing this story down to a three star rating is the romance. I know, I sound cold-hearted. Promise, I'm not. As said, I liked the characters so I should be loving the romance. However, insta love isn't for me, and that's what we get (more or less). It's hard to feel chemistry between characters when it's put into words rather than shown. I need a little substance to my romance. The hero fell too fast for me to understand his infatuation with Aundrea in the first place. So I never fell for them as a couple, and since the story focused mostly on the relationship and Aundrea's reactions to it more than it focused on her struggling with her illness, the story lost some of the deeper emotional substance.

I want to make it clear that despite my issues, What's Left of Me is much better than the average NA story. It offers more than trivial issues and isn't littered with stereotypes and constant slut-shaming. The characters are well developed, the general story has substance, and the writing is decent. I believe people will like this more than I did since it's mainly personal issues I had with this one and other people will react different to the romance (perhaps enjoy it more than I did). All in all, a great NA story, and I don't say that lightly.

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Profile Image for Beth .
630 reviews57 followers
August 13, 2014
Amanda Maxlyn is a debut author? This is her first published book? I can't freakin' believe it because she knocked it out of the park with WHAT'S LEFT OF ME. I have read so many great books lately from some established authors and Amanda is right there with the best of them. Frankly, WHAT'S LEFT OF ME is as honest and emotionally gripping as anything you would read from Colleen Hoover.

This book hooked me right out of the gate. The first ten percent was smoking' H-O-T! I was literally fanning myself after that sizzling start. But, don't think this book is all about sex because it is so much more than that. The plot and character development is exceptional. There was no part of this book where I was bored or unhappy with the way the story was going. The story line was very smooth.

I must warn you, WHAT'S LEFT OF ME is also an emotional tear-jerker. I went through several tissues over the course of reading. The personal and physical struggles Aundrea endures over the course of the book broke me down into a blubbering mess. I felt I was right there by her side the entire time experiencing every shattering development of her life.

Aundrea's rock and most definitely her Prince Charming is Parker. What a wonderful man he is! He came into her life at exactly the right time. Right when she needed him most. Their first meeting is not how you would expect two lovers two meet and have a lasting relationship. Even when Aundrea thinks she is losing her battle, herself Parker never lets her give up. He is her strength through pain, her distraction when the pain is unbearable.

By the end of this book I was crying, shocked, and speechless. I cannot wait to read more from the author and hopefully, more about these characters. A round of applause for Amanda Maxlyn!!
Profile Image for Katie.
231 reviews38 followers
December 30, 2013
I wonder what other people think of this heroine... The struggles she's had, the way she pushes the hero away. Her worries about things that may seem insignificant to those who've never experienced what she has and continues to experience time and time again.

I personally judge this subject matter very harshly. Having gone through (very similar) cancer treatments in my 20s as Aundrea, it is very important to me as a reader that the author does the homework and get the emotions pertaining to the illness (and most especially the treatments) right. I have never read anything in which the author got the emotional aspects of a cancer victim's struggles with treatments so accurate. In many cases it isn't the cancer itself that causes the sickness, it's the damn aggressive treatments. There were times I felt as if Aundrea's thoughts and feelings were pulled from my own head 10 years ago. Everything that Aundrea struggled with... I had tears in my eyes throughout this entire book. Having to wear an itchy wig. The zolfran for the nausea. The fatigue, which I always thought was the worst! Which then meant Nuelasta shots. The mediport. The pokes and prods from needles that after so many times just doesn't matter anymore. Even the descriptions of when someone goes to a chemotherapy treatment. Sitting there for literally hours and watching actual poison being pumped into your body. Knowing that by the next day you're going to feel like you're actually dying. These descriptions gave me the chills! And finally, most especially when you've lost not only the hair on the top of your head but your eyebrows and eyelashes. At that point there is no hiding it anymore. When you feel like you don't know and can't trust your own body because of all the crazy side effects that they can't predict you'll have... You become a stranger inside of your own skin.

As crazy as it is, this book paralleled my own life almost eerily. My now husband and I began dating during my first chemo treatments. The fears that Aundrea had about her wig falling off... All though my husband and I had been friends prior to dating, and he knew I was going through treatments, I never let him see me without my wig on. I was so afraid that if he saw me without hair it would scare him off. I now know that nothing pertaining to my sickness ever would have. There were many situations when I could understand that a reader may have become annoyed with Audrea and how she continuously kept shoving Parker away. But when your not comfortable with yourself, how can you trust that someone else, especially a virtual stranger will look past something so scary? I knew why she did it and I loved her all the more for it. I even remember having to schedule the time I would spend with my husband in those first months around my treatments. They were every two weeks which meant the week after chemo I could never let him see me. That following week, when it was almost back to normal... was when we would hang out.

There were several other very specific descriptions that I could relate to but this review is supposed to be about What's Left of Me, not "me"... I guess what I'm mostly trying to convey is this book was outstanding. It's raw, it's real and I couldn't have loved it more. With all the stories coming out now with book two being from "his" point of view, I can only wish Amanda Maxlyn provides us with Parker's side of the story. I know how Aundrea dealt with her struggle, I want to know how Parker dealt with it.
Profile Image for Sara.
733 reviews302 followers
December 14, 2013
5--grab a box of tissues and hold on tight--stars. Review to come.
Profile Image for Lucy.
100 reviews91 followers
November 15, 2014
oh i very nearly gave this book one star!! fab story, could definitely read more! <3
Profile Image for Three Chicks.
2,595 reviews416 followers
December 16, 2013

Aundrea (her friends call her Dre) has been battling Hodgkin's Lymphoma since she was 17. She is at the point in her disease that her treatment is no longer effective and a bone marrow transplant (from her own marrow) is necessary. She has some strong chemo treatments that she needs to get through so she can receive the transplant. She is staying with her sister and her brother-in-law. Her parents have made numerous financial sacrifices for her-they lost their house in the process of paying her medical bills and Dre has guilt on top of guilt for being the one that was the catalyst for that.

She is taking a few on- line courses in college. She had to be home schooled towards the end of high school because of her treatments, and so she missed her prom, and graduation and parties and her senior week trip. Her boyfriend (the only one she ever had and her lone sexual partner) broke things off after she was diagnosed. She doesn't blame him-not many guys would stick around and put themselves through her turmoil.

She has a strong support system in her friends. They want her to loosen up, to enjoy her life as best she can. They drag her to a club and insist she dress for party mode. She loosens up to the point that she engages in flirting with the gorgeous guy who she finds is eyeball fu*#ing her. The two of them are doing their own version of Dirty Dancing and they carry it out of the club. She goes home with him and has her first one night stand. Let's just say a good time was had by all! She sneaks out the next day. She knows this can't go anywhere, whether she wants it to or not.

Her brother-in-law is a veterinarian and owns his own practice. The next day he invites his new partner to dinner and it's a case of guess who's coming to dinner. She sees Parker and he is even more gorgeous than she first thought. He tries to get her alone to talk about what happened the night before but she puts the kibosh on that and tells him it was a one time thing.

Look, Parker, I don't usually go home with strange men, or strangers for that matter. I promise after this moment I won't bring up last night again, or even think about it. It won't happen again, and I swear I won't tell Jason. So, your secret of screwing the boss' sister-in-law is safe with me.

You think I'm strange?

He lets her know that may be her intention for things to end, but it's not his!

Dre agrees to help out her brother- in- law a few times a week. And yeah, maybe she wouldn't mind seeing Parker there. This guy is the whole package-he's smart, compassionate, witty is soft on the eyes and makes no bones about the fact that he wants Dre-big time wants her in his life!

They hang out a little together and it's apparent they both have feelings for one another. Dre won't tell him that she has cancer. She isn't ready to lose him yet-everyone knows no one wants the girl with cancer. She doesn't want to see that look in his eyes that people get when they find out she is sick.

I'm not ready for him to go running. Maybe I'm being selfish. I am selfish. I want to keep him around, but I don't want to share anything personal. Is that too much to ask?

Meanwhile, she is suffering through this latest course of chemo, she is sick and weak and depressed. She comes up with excuses for her absences from Parker's life.

This is told for the most part in her POV. Every description of her treatment, her pain, her nausea her devastating loss of hair, resonates with the reader. I became this girl I was so immersed in her life, when she allowed herself to cry I cried right along with her. I cried for her when she woudn't allow herself to cry, but I wished she would. And through the tears, she always tempered it with laughter, with her unique way of saying that if someone had to bear this burden, better her than someone she loved.

There is nothing worse than taking a shower and pulling out clumps of hair or watching them stick to your wet body.

I make my way to the mirror and stare at the unrecognizable person in the mirror. My lips look more chapped than I remember. My ears point out further than I thought, my eyebrows look misplaced and my eyes suddenly seem to sit much further apart. I don't recognize the woman looking back at me. She's not me. She's a stranger.

So much of her emotions evolved around Parker and her need to cover up her secret. Even the wigs she wears are a burden, she fears every time he runs his hands through her hair he will dislodge one.

I can feel the wetness along with pressure between my thighs build and no matter what, I don't want to stop. I don't think I can stop. Until I feel his hand move into my hair. He grips my wig, tugging slightly, causing my eyes to pop open. "Parker! Wait!" I shriek.

One of my favorite things about Dre is her passion for reading. Her Kindle goes everywhere with her.

I can't pick a favorite book, explaining that it's not about what or who is the best, but rather the story itself. Each book is different and unique, bringing out the best emotions in me. I love getting pulled out of reality-away from the reminders of my pain.

There are complications upon complications thrown in this girl's face. And always there is the secret-what will happen when Parker learns the truth? What will happen to Dre if the transplant fails?

We all have an end date. We know we're going to die. The only question is when. It's the not knowing-or the someday-that makes it easy to not think about.

I adored this book! I thought it would be sad and depressing, and although at times it was those things, it was funny and hot and light. Parker may not be an MMA fighter, or a rock star or a billionaire. He may just be a man who treats animals for a living. But this guy-he is the stuff heroes are made of-true and honest and real. This guy, he stole my heart. He's the one that every girl should dream about, should long for, should share a first kiss.

The question everyone wants answered-does Dre die? I will only say that you will need tissues, plenty of tissues. One for the happy tears that will surely flow and ones for the tears that will break your heart.

"I know that no matter how hard life gets, it's amazing to just be here. To be alive."

"We'll take it day by day. Together. I just got you and I refuse to let you go."
Profile Image for ReadAlongWithSue .
2,655 reviews170 followers
September 12, 2014
I was gifted this book to read by the author Amanda Maxlyn. I had the pleasure of reading this as an ARC and let me say, it was a delight to read.

A young girl going through the throws of Cancer, finding herself undergoing yet more treatment, having to wear a wig that was not obvious to people who had not met her before.
All she wanted, was to be treated 'normal'. Not for people to see her and the cancer. Just her.

She goes out one night with friends in the haste to be accepted and just be a normal young woman about town when she comes upon a lovely guy. She has a bit too much to drink, but things did stop before she took it things further with him. It was 'just' a night out, right?

Onwards in the book you see her struggle with telling the only person who has ever got close to her in a while about the fact, she's ill. She's been struggling to get her identity back, to get the girl back she once was, to get people to see HER for herself and definitely not to feel sorry for her.

The tale is poignant. We have either faced the big C word ourselves or have known people or know people now who are experiencing this illness.

I thought the author wrote a brilliant story, and seeing its the only book I have ever read by her I won't pass on reading any further books she may throw my way.
September 18, 2015

Life works in mysterious ways.

Four years ago I became known as the girl with cancer.

I refuse to cry.

And I refuse to give in.

A relationship with a man is the last thing I’m looking for right now, but one night with Parker changes everything. He is persistent, and he knows what he wants. Me.

He doesn’t treat me like I’m fragile.

But he doesn’t know, and I’m not ready to tell him.

What if it changes everything?

Tragedy found me when I was seventeen.

Love found me when I was twenty-one.

My name is Aundrea McCall, and this is my journey.

Holy cow!
Be prepared for some ugly crying, actually for a lot of ugly crying.
This book is so hearth-breakingly beautiful, I just can't put it into words.

I felt as though Andrea was one of my closest friends and everything she was going through effected me. I cried through all the chemo treatments with her, through every tear she shed I was right there with her.

The epilogue? Jeez, my eyes are still puffy!!! That was a mean mean trick :(

It was beautiful, it was heartfelt an emotional rollercoaster, but I'm so glad I went on this journey with her.
Now all I need is live Parker and I will be good to go.

Profile Image for VEL.
851 reviews
February 18, 2014
You know from the synopsis that this is likely to be an emotional book!

Amanda Maxlyn sure does get your emotions rolling!

Aundrea is a strong, level headed, beautiful lady suffering from Cancer. The author really draws you with how she is dealing with this disease, in fact you feel as if you are physically with her holding her hand!

Then we have the charismatic, absolutely adorable Parker. They have good chemistry between them. A one night stand is what she needs, to be young carefree and for once just be like every other girl, party and have fun.

But how long will she be able to hide her secret. Will Parker stay by her side? Or will he just not be able to handle & want nothing to do with her?

Well to find out the answers you are going to have to read this book, it's great. Beautifully written, drawing you in and seeing another side to someone who has a disease that you have no answers to or what your future will hold.
Profile Image for Jenny••Steamy Reads Blog••.
987 reviews1,814 followers
December 14, 2013
"This is why my mom always tells me not to get so caught up in my books. Soon you won't be able to tell what's real and what's not because you'll just be living in that head of yours!" ((Aundrea))

Exactly! This book gets you so caught up in it that nothing else can exist. I was so lost in this book that nothing else mattered. Giving this book 5 stars just isn't good enough!! Kudos to Amanda Maxlyn on her first book!!!! Amazing writing, outstanding story, fulfilling in so many ways!! Definitely a new one to add to the top of my favorites list!

Absolutely perfect in every way!!

Beyond 5 Stars*********
Profile Image for Dhini.
189 reviews60 followers
July 18, 2014
10+++ Stars


It was a poignant, amazing, beautifully written love story..
I couldn't stop crying.
And YES, I loved every single page of this book ❤️❤️❤️
The story tells you how to live your life, to be alive, to love, to cherish your friendship, your relationship with your parents, your brother or sister..

“It’s not about whether there is life after you die, but whether you’re alive before you die.”

I'm in love with Parker Cade Jackson and I'm in awe at Aundrea Leigh McCall..

Really can't wait to read the next story of Parker and Aundrea..

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