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378 pages, Hardcover
First published January 6, 2015
"May you eye go to the Sun, To the wind your soul.." "Or go to the waters if it suits thee there."
The thing I know about bipolar disorder is that it's a label. One you give crazy people. Labels like "bipolar" say This is why you are the way you are. This is who you are. They explain people away as illnesses.
I get into these moods sometimes, and I can't shake them. Kind of black sinking moods. I imagine it's like what being in the eye of a tornado would be like, all calm and blinding at the same time. I hate them.
According to Mental Health America, an estimated 2.5 million Americans are known to have bipolar disorder, but the actual number is a good two to three times higher than that. As many as 80 percent of people with this illness go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. If you think something is wrong, speak up. You are not alone.
This is my secret---that any moment I might fly away.
Before I die I want to know a perfect day.
When we’re in the act of wandering, we need to be present, not watching it through a lens.
My calendar is shoved into a corner. I unfold it now, smoothing it out, and look at all the blank days, too many to count, that I didn't mark off because these were the days I had with Finch.
”Where would you go if you could go anywhere?” It comes out bitchier than I mean for it to. He leans forward over the handlebars, eyes on me. ”I’d go to Hoosier Hill with a beautiful girl.”
"But I bring it up to let you know that this is the way I feel right now. Like Pluto and Jupiter are aligned with the earth and I'm floating."
In a minute, she says, "You're so weird, Finch. But that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
What if we could just cut out the bad and keep the good? This is what I want to do with Violet---give her only the good, keep away the bad, so that good is all we ever have around us.
There was nothing to make him last a long time.
I remember running down a road on my way to a nursery of flowers.
I remember her smile and her laugh when I was my best self and she looked at me like I could do no wrong and was whole.
I remember her hand in mine and how that felt, as if something and someone belonged to me.
By the way? For what it's worth, you showed me something, Ultraviolet---there is such a thing as a perfect day.
"Is today a good day to die?"
“No longer rooted, but gold, flowing.”
“For what it’s worth, you showed me something, Ultraviolet- there is such a thing as a perfect day.”
"He smiles out at the ugly trees and the ugly farmland and the ugly kids as if he can see Oz. As if he can really, truly see the beauty that's there. In that moment I wish I could see it through his eyes. I wish he had glasses to give me."