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My Heart and Other Black Holes

3.98  ·  Rating details ·  52,179 ratings  ·  6,466 reviews
Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But on
Kindle Edition, 302 pages
Published February 10th 2015 by HarperCollins/Balzer + Bray
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Anah Meliu
This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)
Sharon It's a sad but hopeful book. You should definitely read it :) …moreIt's a sad but hopeful book. You should definitely read it :) (less)
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Community Reviews

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Average rating 3.98  · 
Rating details
 ·  52,179 ratings  ·  6,466 reviews

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Jesse (JesseTheReader)
Mar 07, 2015 rated it it was amazing
trigger warning for suicide with this book.
Where do I even begin? This story was at times hard to read, not because it was bad (it was AMAZING), but because it was so dark. I wanted to dive into this book and lead the characters in a different direction. I'm struggling finding words to express my feelings for this book. I'll just simply say, I loved it.
Steph Sinclair
I came really close to DNFing this book at 96% on principle alone because I was fed one thing in the beginning of the novel, only to be force fed something entirely different by the end. My Heart and Other Black Holes had so much potential--a lot of novel accurately described what it feels like to be depressed. So I was expecting a novel about discovering yourself, overcoming depression and finding something to live for. I was excited for it because it's a topic that needs more awareness and und ...more
Emily May
Sep 14, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Does a dead body still have potential energy or does it get transferred into something else? Can potential energy just evaporate into nothingness? That’s the question I don’t know the answer to. That’s the question that haunts me.

3 1/2 stars. This book was pretty much perfect until the big thing that made it not so perfect anymore. However, I still think it's a clever, addicting, sensitive, honest and insightful story about depression, especially in the beginning. It follows the pattern of other
Mar 16, 2015 rated it it was amazing

You can find the full review and more about this book on my blog!


“You're like a grey sky. You're beautiful, even though you don't want to be.”


First of all let's appreciate the cover.And not only this one,but every cover that this book has.They are all so beautifully done,so great job on that.


My Heart and Other Black Holes is a contemporary novel,about Aysel and Roman who are different by person

Hailey (Hailey in Bookland)
I really enjoyed this. The whole idea of suicide partners provided a very different look at mental illness. I loved the striking honesty and the hope woven throughout the story. Really a great read.
Becky Albertalli
Dec 21, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I don't even know where to begin. This is such a special, weird, complicated, beautiful book. I'm a clinical psychologist who spent several years doing therapy almost exclusively with kids and teenagers. This is the book I wish my clients could have read. Aysel's voice is vivid and sad and quietly snarky - she's just so messy and real. She flips the switch from heartbreaking to hilarious in the span of a paragraph. She's sullen and brilliant and frustrating and gorgeously imperfect. Warga nailed ...more
Charlotte May
3.5 stars ⭐️

“Sometimes I wonder if my heart is like a black hole - it’s so dense that there’s no room for light, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still suck me in.”

This was an honest look into teenage suicide. Aysel and Roman meet on an online forum designed for people to find ‘suicide partners’, a person they plan to commit suicide with.
It took a while for me to like the main characters, it seems I’m that way with all characters - I can never like someone immediately. After a few chapters I b
Sue (Hollywood News Source)

Review and playlist posted at Young Adult Hollywood.

Disclaimer: I spent 90% of my time gross sobbing to the point I had to dry my tears, because I couldn't read what I was supposed to be reading.

“I bet if you cut open my stomach, the black slug of depression would slide out. Guidance counselors always love to say, “Just think positively,” but that’s impossible when you have this thing inside of you, strangling every ounce of happiness you can muster. My body is an efficient happy-thought-killi
Nov 19, 2016 rated it really liked it
4 stars!

 photo 5359D938-699D-48EC-9987-4A7531795E1C_zps7dw2khqo.jpg
“Sometimes I wonder if my heart is like a black hole--it's so dense that there's no room for light, but that doesn't mean it can't still suck me in.”
My Heart and Other Black Holes was a unique and at times painful YA read about dealing with depression and guilt. I felt that this story very accurately displayed what it’s like to feel that kind of depression and the desperation that comes along with it. It’s about Asyel and Roman and the battle they’re both facing.

Chelsea ✨Arielle’s Nebular Ally and Team Acrux✨

*Roman's turn for 2015 favorite re-read!!!* :P

"Be careful," he says.
"Why?" I’m not thinking about being careful. I’m thinking about one last push, of letting go, of flying, and of falling.
“You aren’t allowed to die without me,” he whispers.

*Indiscernible noise* Did you hear that? What’s that, you ask? That noise….what is that noise??? Let me tell you what that noise is: That’s the sound of my heart beating, my soul soaring, my spirits shining blindingly bright, my fangirl screeching…
Aj the Ravenous Reader

3.5 stars rounded up because it’s my last book review for 2016 ^^

It is my steadfast personal principle that my life is never mine to take and it’s why I try to avoid books on suicide as much as possible but I’ve heard a lot of good things about My Heart and Other Black Holes and I got really intrigued with the idea on “suicide partners” so I took the plunge and I could now say that it was totally worth the risk. The two characters in the story make me empathize with their causes because they bel
Rachel Reads Ravenously
4 stars!

“Maybe we all have darkness inside of us and some of us are better at dealing with it than others.”

 photo My Heart and Other Black Holes casting.png

Sixteen year old Aysel is ready to die. Thrown in the aftermath of her father’s actions, she has been shunned and pulled away from everyone close in her life. An outcast at school and in her own home, Aysel has been spending her time browsing suicide websites where she meets Roman. They make a pact to kill themselves on a specific day, and in order to keep up pretenses for their f
Jul 28, 2014 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ebook, arc
My Heart and Other Black Holes delves into the lives of two suicidal teens who make a pact to be each other's suicide partner. Yes, this novel is messed up and sad and shocking at times to think that someone would want a sort of motivational coach to make sure they achieve death, but suicide pacts do happen, especially with teens, so no matter how effed up this is, it is real and all too heartbreaking. Still, this book is supposed to be an emotional mess, and it really should be considering the ...more
Apr 17, 2015 rated it really liked it
The beginning of this book was really difficult for me to read, but I'm really glad I stuck with it because I ended up really loving this story. ...more
Apr 30, 2015 rated it liked it
3.5 Stars!!


If you didn’t know depression is a common mental disorder, characterized by sadness, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, feelings of tiredness, and poor concentration. It affects more than 121 million people worldwide. It is not uncommon for depressed individuals to have thoughts about suicide whether or not they really intend to act on these thoughts. “My Heart and Other Black Holes” is a book about depression, overcoming it
Jan 08, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Before reading MY HEART AND OTHER BLACK HOLES, I never expected that a book about a teen suicide pact could be so full of hope. And yet, that's exactly what I felt while reading it. Of course, it was the *heartbreaking* sort of hope, the kind where I grew to love Aysel and Roman, two characters who have so much passion and potential, yet direct that energy toward their mutual goal: helping each other die.

Watching Aysel and Roman get to know each other was such a good reminder that the way we se
Greta G
Sep 16, 2018 rated it liked it
This is a bittersweet story about two teenagers who are depressed, isolated and suicidal. They meet on a website and become partners in suicide.
In addition to this, the story touches upon divorce, parental neglect, bullying, murder and mental illness.

Aysel has to deal with the consequences of a terrible thing her father did, while Roman is crushed by guilt for causing a tragic accident.
In the face of all these adversities, isolation, shame, depression and suicidal thoughts are unsurprising co
i bought this book for its cover and it wasn't good.

7 years have passed since then, and i still do the same exact thing constantly.

part of a series i'm doing in which i review books i read a long time ago
Spencer Salsbury

“Depression is like a heaviness that you can’t ever escape. It crushes down on you, making even the smallest things like tying your shoes or chewing on toast seem like a twenty-mile hike uphill. Depression is a part of you; it’s in your bones and your blood.”


This book will get under your skin and live inside you. It is tragic, empowering (it has a few hopeful moments), and beautiful. I can not get enough of this book. It's truly incredible.

1) The Plot

Jul 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Wow, was not expecting for this book to have hit me as hard as it did.

First of all, trigger warnings for suicide.


Secondly, this is a tragic, heavy, but beautiful story about Aysel and Roman who have been affected by a loss of a loved one. For Aysel, it was her father who was imprisoned due to killing someone. Roman lost his younger sister due to a tragic accident that he blames himself for. Strangely, they both blame themselves for those incidents. Subsequently, they meet o
Jul 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
~Marcel Proust

A wonderful love story about how to fall in love with life!

This is the beautiful story of Aysel Leyla Seran.

"I spend a lot of time wondering what dying feels like. What dying sounds like. If I'll burst like those notes, let out my last cries of pain, and then go silent forever."

I wish you all a very kinetic and beautiful life.
Éimhear (A Little Haze)
"Music, especially classical music, ... has kinetic energy. ...once the notes are in the air, they collide against one another. They spark. They burst.
I spend a lot of time wondering what dying feels like. What dying sounds like. If I'll burst like those notes, let out my last cries of pain, and then go silent forever. Or maybe I'll turn into a shadowy static that's barely there, if you just listen hard enough."

You know when a woman says that she or something is fine then it really means t
"Maybe we all have darkness inside of us and some of us are better at dealing with it than others.”

Oh where to begin...
I loved how simple it was, how real it was, and how I was able to connect with it. The amount of times I had to take breaks from reading this book was ridiculous. I found with each page I was captivated by the story. Jasmine Warga handled the topics of depression and suicide perfectly by expressing the rawness of both situations. I know I will be rereading this book so many more
Sara (sarawithoutanH)
I really liked Aysel as a narrator but ultimately I had issues with this book. I keep changing this review because the more I think about this book, the more I don't like it. I'll list them below in a spoiler section.

(view spoiler)
Danielle (Love at First Page)
I wonder if that's how darkness wins, by convincing us to trap it inside ourselves, instead of emptying it out.

Wow. What a powerful and painful and beautiful book, though not at all in the way I was expecting. This book pretty much snuck up on me. It's normally not a "me" book anyway (depressing subject matter = Danielle runs for the hills), and halfway through I wasn't sure where it was going. It's actually quite funny thanks to a snarky narrator, but it seemed almost aimless. Somew
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
ashley 🌈
"Depression is a part of you; it's in your bones and your blood. If there's anything I know about it, this is what I know: it's impossible to escape."

This story is so important to me, in so many ways. I've read it once before, and I'm sure I'll read it again. Aysel has been depressed for years, and has no hope for a better future after her father is sent to prison, leaving her to live with a mother who wants nothing to do with her, two half siblings, and her stepfather. She decides to kill herse
Maliha Tabassum Tisha
1.5 stars

I really, really, really wanted to love this book. The concept was so promising and there were so many things I could relate to! Even the writing was nearly gut-punching at times. I have a thing for stories with a female science/math nerd protagonist. Bcoz of that or whatever reason, it wasn't hard for me to identify with Aysel (Uh-zell) at all. Now the more I think about it, the more exasperated I feel for not being able to love the book! Maybe a younger me would've bought this crap or
Adita ✨The Slumbering Insomniac✨
Jun 12, 2016 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Physics and YA fans(both in one)
Recommended to Adita ✨The Slumbering Insomniac✨ by: Éimhear (A Little Haze)


⏩Three things that made me want to pick this book from the three score books I had managed to adorn my library with, in the recent major-bookhaul.

“This must be a sign from the universe-if the only time you get lucky is when you're planning your suicide, it's definitely time to go.”

PHYSICS . (Notice that it is underlined and italicised and emboldened.)
There is a good deal of Physics stuff in the story and I was surprised to find how easy Einstein's Relativity the
Neil (or bleed)
Sep 26, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: books-i-own, reviewed
“I will be stronger than my sadness.”

If not for that particular scene, I'd given this book a 3 stars or maybe even a 2 because I felt neutral reading the book, in the first place and I thought that I'm just reading a typical suicide book. And I don't appreciate the characters that much. But that particular scene triggered my thoughts and I realized what this book is all about. What message this book wants to impart.

And I'm thankful. I did understand better Aysel and her situation. She had a
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Jasmine Warga is a writer from Cincinnati, Ohio who currently resides in Chicago, Illinois. She is the internationally bestselling author of My Heart and Other Black Holes and Here We Are Now. Her books have been published in over twenty-five countries and optioned for film. Her debut middle grade novel, Other Words For Home, will be published in Spring 2019. Jasmine lives in an apartment filled w ...more

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