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How to Survive a Horror Movie: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills

(How to Survive)

3.93  ·  Rating details ·  2,016 ratings  ·  303 reviews
Seth Grahame-Smith delivers the definitive, essential guide to making it through a horror movie in one piece. As hilarious as it is useful (if you’re trapped in a scary flick, that is), How to Survive a Horror Movie covers all the bases.

Trapped in a haunted house? Check. Stalked by an evil doll? Check. Wandering aimlessly through the remains of the old world as a plague of
Audiobook, 3 pages
Published June 15th 2011 by Recorded Books, LLC (first published May 1st 2007)
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3.93  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,016 ratings  ·  303 reviews

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Mike (the Paladin)
I saw this book reviewed here...and felt strangely compelled to reserve it at the library. Just after picking it up and reading the opening chapter on how to tell if you actually are trapped in a horror movie....I discovered a box of very old books I hadn't realized I even owned??? Upon finding them I went searching out shelf space for the dusty old volumes (oddly as soon as I went into the dark bedroom to shelve the books my cat screamed and leapt from one of the shadowy shelves right at me. Sh ...more
Feb 18, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: for-laughter
i had to read this when i saw that he has a jane austen/zombie book coming out soon. this was a good way to kill time until the release date. but now i am finally going to have to read pride and prejudice!! dammit!
Nov 11, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
this book is HILARIOUS!!!!! if you love - or even just like- horror movies, you should own this book.
Horror movies and I? We go way back. I've been a voracious consumer since I was eight and my enthusiasm for the genre hasn't diminished with ... ahem ... maturity and wisdom. So yeah, it's been a lifelong love affair, one I don't hide, or feel I need to apologize for. Because even amidst the dreck, there exists some awesome cinematic gems, and amidst the classics there are film moments of hair-raising, heart-stopping, enviable genius.

The naysayers who decry: "how can you watch that garbage" are
Well, now I know that all I have to do to survive is whip my junk out since full-frontal male nudity does not exist in horror films. Cheers!
Aug 14, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Such a fun book for everyone to read and/or listen to if they are into horror movies.
Oct 18, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audio, horror, nonfiction
Finally - a self-help book that addresses my life!
May 28, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
The Good: The book starts off with a delightful prologue from Wes Craven, which is definitely worth the read. Seth Grahame-Smith is quickly becoming a household name, especially with a movie adaption of his Pride & Prejudice & Zombies coming out soon. How to Survive a Horror Movie contains a wealth of his tongue-in-cheek humor that fans will love. As an avid horror movie fan, I appreciated quite a bit of what the author was putting out there in this book. "What to Do If Your Corn Has Chi ...more
Jan 27, 2009 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor
Perhaps capitalizing on the zombie survival trend, this book attempts to cover ALL manner of horror films and tells the reader how to tell if you're in one and what to do next.

I found it humorous enough, but it felt like the author was rather stretched for material. He seemed to bounce back and forth between two vantage points - one being that there actually is a Horrorverse and you are in it, the other being that you are just on a movie set. The advice for what to do in the actual Horrorverse w
Dec 13, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was so awesome. As a horror movie fanatic, I really love this type of thing. It was really hilarious and poked fun at all the stupid things that happen in horror movies without denouncing the genre. It was packed with tons of references to various horror movies across the genre (from Halloween to Saw to Snakes on a Plane). And with a foreword by Wes Craven, you may be able to do no wrong. This book reminded me of Scream in many ways, but it really expanded and included various genres and si ...more
Feb 29, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Let's be honest here and admit that for the most part that horror films are predictable. Scream gave us some easy to follow rules to survive a horror movie and now we have a survival guide written by the guy who gave us Pride Prejudice And Zombies and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. How you view this book depends on your views of the horror genre. If you aren't a fan then you'll hate this (if you hate horror films why are you even reading this review?). It's quite a humorous book that doesn't t ...more
Jan 05, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: horror movie fans
Recommended to Laura by: no one
Shelves: adult
Hilarious! Takes a lot from classic, easy to recognize horror movies and compiles advice in humorous and bizarre lists. This author has a great sense of humor and the book is pretty short which is the perfect length to end before the jokes get stale. Anyone who enjoys the older horror movies like Nightmare on Elm street, Halloween, Friday the 13th, the Shining, Children of the Corn, Pet Sementary, etc. will have fun with this book.
This book wins the award of MOST impulsive buy! But the laughs I
Mar 16, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
the theme is to survive a horror movie
Scott Rhee
Dec 03, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction, horror, humor
Seth Grahame-Smith obviously spent a large part of his childhood (and much of his adulthood) watching horror movies. I can totally relate to this, as I have spent most of my life watching horror movies as well. Clearly, those of us who are not in jail or mental institutions have learned to channel (or divert) our love of horror movies into something healthy. For Grahame-Smith, it's writing books.

In "How to Survive a Horror Movie", SGS has written the ultimate survival guide for the perhaps unli
A completely hilarious book with great advice. Seriously, I would carry this with me always just in case that so called fun camping trip turns into a nightmare when we stumble upon an ax murder. You never know when you'll need to reference it. Seth Grahame-Smith covers everything you'll ever need to know if ever caught in a horror movie situation. This will keep you laughing out loud and remembering all your favorite B horror films. I cant wait to read more of his work.
Meghan (My World of Books)
I decided that I wanted to read it because I loved the parts in the “Scream” movie franchise when they would talk about “the rules” for scary movies. (For example: Don’t have sex and Never Ever say “I’ll be right back”)!

So, I decided to pick this book up! Now this book is full of all types of useful advice, such as: what to do if you did something last summer, how to tell if you have been dead the whole movie, what to do if you have seven days to live, and even what to do if there are children i
Stephanie Griffin
Aug 22, 2017 rated it liked it
Some lines made me laugh but I was offended by Graham-Smith's objectification of women.
Robert Chartrand
Mar 05, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Fans of horror movies and/or sitirical survival books
Shelves: adult, teen, non-fiction, humor
Being a huge fan of the comical "survival guides," there was no way that I was going to pass this one up. As the title clearly gives away, the book takes you on a step-by-step journey on how to survive being in a horror movie.
It starts off with how to tell that you are in a horror movie, and then how to figure out what kind of horror movie you are in. From there is gives you advice on how to survive and handle various situations.
The majority of the book goes through all of the stereotypical hor
Tina Rae
May 09, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: horror movie fans
Shelves: favorites
This is honestly and truly one of the most hilarious books I have ever read in my life. And to think, I just happened upon it by accident! I was walking through Hastings one night, searching for James Bond books when, suddenly, I saw this one. And I bought it.

Best. Purchase. Ever.

I've always loved horror movies and so I think it's safe to say I've seen my fair share of them. Reading this book is honestly one of the greatest experiences of my life. All of the silly things that happen in horror mo
Apr 22, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
For horror fans who want a giggle.

Vampires, werewolves, zombies, hillbilly cannibals, dream monsters, all are covered and then some! I can't reveal much because you should read this and find out yourself.

The advice is very practical.

The cliche's were on point, as were the tips on how to stay alive. And if you're just screwed. First rule, recognize that you are in the Terror-verse. All of the steps were great and applicable to 96% of the horror movies I have seen.

It was a short and good read! W
Oct 29, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: horror movie fans!
Shelves: 2010, horror
What a fun book! I was worried that this would be dry like Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, but this was very humorous. Unlike Brooks' book, this does not take the situation seriously. Grahame-Smith toys with the idea that you are actually IN the movie allowing for a lot of humor and less practicality. Not for those who don't know their horror movie basics though, or else they won't find it nearly as funny. I would have laughed out loud in several places if I had read this next to a sleeping ...more
Michael Flanagan
Nov 13, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
As a avid horror fan I jumped for joy when I saw this title, I mean how can you say no to it. This book had me in stiches and took me back to me teenage days of the good ole gore horror.

The book is cut up into helpful chapters that cove most genres of horror. It tells you if you have a chance or if you are next to get it. It also tells you how you are going to die in all of the grisly details. The author has a wicked sense of humour that shines through this master piece of survival literature.
Alex Le
Mar 10, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I loved this book it was just simply amazing and also magnificent.

This book is about well you already know by reading the title its How to Survive a Horror movie its teaching you the wave of how to become and expert survivalist if you ever get dragged into the terrorverse.

I enjoyed this book simply because it was very entertaining and also because it was in my interest most likely because I love horror movies and others so I know all about the cliches and was able to understand it very easily.
Jennifer Daniel
Oct 06, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Too funny!!!! If you liked the nerd in Scream that was warning everyone about classic horror movie mistakes, this is the book for you! My favorite bit of advice was if a ghostly/demonic force was pining you against the wall, begin singing Lionel Ritchie's "Dancing on the Ceiling" and the evil force will immediately throw you out of the haunted/possessed house where you may run away to safety. Every single page had me laughing out loud. Definitely going to look into other work by this author.
Sep 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites, reviewed
What's to say about this book? Why does it deserve 5 stars? Well... Honestly... It's just my sense of humour. That's all there is to it. I love horror movies, I love, I love snarky commentary and self-aware humour (done right), so it's a match made in heaven. It's not the best book I've every read, not some piece of perfect literature, but it's exactly what you'd expect from a book like this. And it's funny as fuck.
Dec 15, 2015 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: zombies
I was expecting more from this. Maybe some actual survival skills. I guess you could say I'm spoiled from reading Zombie Survival Guides, or it's because I'm a horror movie fan and everything in here was common sense. There was also some passages that were taken straight out of movie plots, like Snakes On A Plane. I felt there was no creativity in this. Good concept, great as a gag gift, but took nothing away from reading this.
Feb 10, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Reading the title, and knowing Grahame-Smith's work, I expected this to be a pretty decent read. I am a huge horror fan and have a high standard on what is said on it.

Reading this was an amazing experience.

From Wes Craven's introduction to what you should do when your director is out to kill you, it was a fascinating read for anyone who has even the slightest like for Horror, let alone a huge love for it.
Danielle Klassen
Oct 18, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
Still one of my favorites. I've read this book many times now and honestly, it's still hilarious with each read. This is a send up to every horror fan out there who will no doubt laugh along as they look at all the things that this book "teaches" about the things that we've all thought while watching our favorite films. Perfect read for a build up to Halloween or any other spooky event.
Aug 09, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Strangely enough, this book is shelved in the non-fiction section of the library I borrowed it from. All I can say is they must know something I don't.
The book itself was creative, and what you'd expect from a writer like Mr. Smith.
My most negative point would be the art work... It could have been a lot better.
Sep 28, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
the reason why I chose this book because my older sister lant me the book for a cupal days I read a fuw pages and my sister took it back and i get to finish the book wich im very thankful for and this book was very funny and you can uses that book to know what gonna happan next in a horror movie and in the last pages tall you what good horror movie to whach
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Play Book Tag: How to Survive a Horror Movie by Seth Grahame-Smith - 5 Stars 6 19 Mar 18, 2016 10:12PM  
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Seth Grahame-Smith (born Seth Jared Greenberg) is an American author, screenwriter and film producer. He is best known for his novels Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter which both hit the New York Times' best seller list. Seth Grahame-Smith lives in Los Angeles, California with his wife, Erin, and his son, Joshua.

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