Mud Vein

by Tarryn Fisher

When reclusive novelist Senna Richards wakes up on her thirty-third birthday, everything has changed. Caged behind an electrical fence, locked in a house in the middle of the snow, Senna is left to decode the clues to find out why she was taken. If she wants her freedom, she has to take a close look at her past. But, her past has a heartbeat... and her kidnapper is nowhere to be found. With her survival hanging by a thread, Senna soon realizes this is a game. A dangerous one. Only the truth can set her free.

Genres: Romance, Dark, Contemporary, New Adult, Mystery, Thriller, Suspense

283 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 8, 2014

About the author

I would like to write a novel that every, single person loves, but not even J.K. Rowling could do that. Instead, I try to write stories that pull on people's emotions. I believe that sadness is the most powerful emotion, and swirled with regret the two become a dominating force. I love villains. Three of my favorites are Mother Gothel, Gaston and the Evil Queen who all suffered from a pretty wicked case of vanity (like me). I like to make these personality types the center of my stories.
I love rain, Coke, Starbucks and sarcasm. I hate bad adjectives and the word "smolder". If you read my book-I love you. If you hate my book-I still love you, but please don't be mean to me; I'm half badass, half cry baby.

Reviews

[Colleen Hoover · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so much better than Tarryn Fisher being naked in your hotel room, spread eagle on the couch eating ice cream out of the tub.
I don't like ice cream though, so I'm not sure what that says about this book.
I also don't like Tarryn Fisher.
Or hotel rooms.
I like eagles, but they're going extinct.
But Mud Vein was good, though. Right? Can I get an Amen?

[Aestas Book Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

“That’s what it’s like to be a prisoner of anything. You want your freedom until you get it, then you feel bare without your chains.”

Woah.

That was pretty much my response after finishing this book. Just woah. I didn’t even know what to say about it. What could I say that would properly convey my feelings about this book? I felt like my review should just have been 3 words and 2 hashtags:

JUST READ IT. #BringTissues #ItsComplicated

There are very few authors in the world whose books I will go into blind. Tarryn Fisher is one of them. She earned my trust with the Love Me With Lies series but in a different way than most authors. I basically just came to understand that the stories I’d get from her would be fantastically well-written and completely outside the box. I guess I felt a certain safety in that in a weird way — like, knowing it was outside the box allowed me the mental freedom to just let go of the things I usually hold onto and just experience the story for what it was. I will admit though that she told me to expect a "non-traditional ending" before I started and I think knowing that allowed me to just stop worrying, stop expecting something in particular from it and just read it for what it was. And as for what it was ….. well, it was one hell of an amazing story.

When reclusive novelist Senna Richards wakes up on her thirty-third birthday, everything has changed. Caged behind an electrical fence, locked in a house in the middle of the snow, Senna is left to decode the clues to find out why she was taken. If she wants her freedom, she has to take a close look at her past. But, her past has a heartbeat…and her kidnapper is nowhere to be found. With her survival hanging by a thread, Senna soon realizes this is a game. A dangerous one. Only the truth can set her free.

Mud Vein is not a fairy tale and honestly, it’s not really a romance either (at least not in the traditional way) even though it has very strong elements of love woven throughout it. The story unfolds in layers upon layers going forward and backward in time. With each layer, you discover a little more about the characters and what had shaped their lives. Some layers answered questions, others brought up new ones and, throughout it all, I remained riveted to the story.

I’m not going to say anything about the plot here and my strong advice is not to look up any spoilers. If you decide to read it, just dive right in. I’m the kind of reader who loves knowing in advance but I just dove in and loved my reading experience. But I will say that when you read it, pay attention to everything.

The story itself drew me in from the first page. By the end of the first chapter, my mind was spinning. By the end of the second one, I had full body shivers and was desperately trying to figure out what was happening. My mind was filled with questions and the more I discovered, the more questions I had.

I also just want to point out that despite the fact that there is a kidnapping, this is not a ‘disturbing’ story. It does have darker, very adult themes but more than anything, it’s a complex journey of self discovery.

The story built in a very quiet way — it subtly snuck up on me, and when a tiny piece of the puzzle came into the light, it was epic. It hit me so hard. We’re talking chills, tears, everything.

Tarryn Fisher has an incredible talent for creating deeply flawed and complex characters that work their way into your heart. Regardless of whether you identify with them, you feel for them. You become wrapped up in their journey and you just feel connected. This book is cleverly written and perfectly paced. The layers built and wove together to create an intricate tale about what happens when the human mind and heart is put to a survival test.

When I was finished I just sat there with a heavy heart thinking back over the story. It hurt. As Tarryn has said, it was a non-traditional ending. But at the same time, it felt fitting for story. I went back and forth between denial and acceptance. I think sometimes though it’s about the journey, not the ending.

I give Mud Vein 5 stars for being incredibly well written, for stepping outside the box, for making me think, for making me feel (even if at times, I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling), and last but not least, for reminding me to appreciate every single moment of life.

“There is a string that connects us that is not visible to the eye. Maybe every person has more than one soul they are connected to, and all over the world there are those invisible strings… Maybe the chances that you’ll find each and every one of your soul mates is slim. But sometimes you’re lucky enough to stumble across one. And you feel a tug. And it’s not so much a choice to love them though their flaws and through your differences, but rather you love them without even trying. You love their flaws.”

PS — if you want a feeling for the story listen to Landscape and Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine.

PPS -- Many of you know that I like a very specific kind of book (and mostly they're only romance). This is not a romance novel and I did not rate it "as" a romance. Everything about my preferences was thrown out the window when I read this book. I just went into it ready to accept whatever it was about and I strongly urge you to do the same.

****************************


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[Luisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like I've been swimming in the open ocean and now I'm exhausted and floating.

I'm not sure if the world is ready for Tarryn Fisher. This is how I felt as I was reading this book:

[Jennifer Kyle · Rating 2 out of 5]

The writing is definitely 5 Stars but I didn't like the story, the main character, the lack of conversation, the reveal or the ending.

Writing- 5 Stars
Main character- 1 Star
Enjoyment- 1 Star
Reveal- 1 Star
Time spent in cabin: Hours
Ending: 1 Star
Wow factor- 1 Star
Overall Message- Lame

The reason for not even a 3 Star rating is because there wasn't even one scene that I actually liked. I love dark books so that wasn't the case with this one being too dark. I was somewhere between frustrated, bored, unimpressed and disappointed with the whole story.

[Lady Vigilante (Feifei) · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 STARS - biggest disappointment of the year

Where do I even begin?

Well, since part of my excitement to read this book was seeing the “Mud Vein faces” plastered all over my Facebook feed, I suppose I could show you my Mud Vein Face (actually there are two).

Mud Vein Face #1:



This face is appropriate for the first 60% of the book.

Mud Vein Face #2:



This face is appropriate for the last 40% of the book.

Book rating breakdown:

Writing: 3
Story: 1
Emotion: 3
Concept: 2
Steam: 0
Believability: 0
Senna: 1
Isaac: 3
Did I like this book: No.

If you asked me what makes Tarryn Fisher stand out from the rest of the authors, I’d say her writing. Sadly, not even her writing was a plus in Mud Vein. I found it to be overdescriptive and really just suffocated on all the extra details that hid what could’ve been a unique and well-delivered plot.

I’m not completely immune; I did find some lines in the book to be immensely powerful and they even gave me goosebumps. But taking in the book as a whole and considering the delivery, the reasoning, the revelation, and the endgame, I pretty much felt fucked over. And let me tell you, it’s not a good feeling.

1. Delivery. The way I see it, there are two sides. One, I’m a complete idiot who lacks a brain because the first 60% I just. Did. Not. Get. (Refer to my Mud Vein Face #1). OR, the writing was so incredibly complex and just not understandable to mere humans only the writing goddess herself and a select few can interpret the meaning. Hence I didn’t find the writing beautiful; I thought it exorbitant and excessive.

2. Reasoning.



It turns out Senna’s therapist/shrink is the one to kidnap her and Isaac and throw them in the cabin. And for what? So Senna could realize that she can love someone? So the shrink lady can play around with people’s lives? Oh and when they get discovered, Ms. Shrink Lady kills herself.



So what was the point?



Nothing about the reasoning made sense. It was neither plausible nor believable.

3. Revelation. I wasn’t mindfucked, shocked, aghast, overwhelmed or anything. All that went through my head was OK.

4. Endgame.



I just can’t.

I don’t mind that Senna died. Sometimes I find non-HEA books to be more meaningful and that certainly was the case with Mud Vein. Like I said, I’m not completely immune to the book. But oh my god. My biggest question I want an answer to is this:

Why is it that Senna is so deserving of love she must be locked in with Issac? Why is Issac’s wife and child not worthy of that love? WHY THE FUCK screw over a perfectly great family just so selfish, cold-hearted, rude, abrasive, shrewish Senna could get it huh? And please don’t tell me the shrink lady was crazy or that Senna deserves love just once because she’s dying from cancer. Not even cancer gets a pass on this.

Before I started this book, I purposely avoided reading the reviews so I could go in with a fresh, clean slate. In hindsight, I wished I read them before and listened to what friends were saying because this book has marred the perfect track record Fisher had with me.

That.Is.All.

[Patrycja · Rating 1 out of 5]

Title: Mud Vein
Series: Standalone
Author: Tarryn Fisher
Release Date: 6th April, 2014
Rating: 1 stars
Cliffhanger:. No
HEA: No






I have no idea how to properly review this book without giving away huge spoilers; it’s almost impossible to do so. But as I want to explain step by step what made me hate Tarryn Fisher’s novel I will divide my review .First part of it will be short and to the point and you can read it without worrying about reading spoilers. Second one will be complex explanation and will contain spoilers. So you can decide if you want to still read it and see what this mind fuck was all about.

5 stages of BOOK DENIAL


FIRST PART OF REVIEW –

Reading Mud Vein was a challenge. One, that did not end on a positive note for me– not only was I completely astounded by how incredibly idiotic the plot seemed, I hated the characters also. Everything was so unrealistic and naïve and unlikely to happen I WANTED TO DIE. But I will get there.

Anyway, I was very excited to finally dive into Fisher’s book. I haven’t read her other series, because I am not a fan of love triangles etc. but hearing many awesome things about her writing style I knew I had to read her other books. So being exceptionally giddy and full of hope I cracked this story open… and… and… I felt thoroughly fucked, but not in pleasant way.

I have never in my entire life read a book I haven’t understood. I’ve read many stupid, dumb books, I’ve read books I hated, books terribly written, but I have never ever did not get what it was about, and here I just didn’t get the message. If someone would ask me what was the point of writing Mud Vein or what kind of story it is, I wouldn’t be able to answer this questions. I honestly don’t know. I feel like the dumbest chick, but seriously if there is a person who could explain this book to me, I would love to hear it.

On the other hand, I have to underline that I found Tarryn Fisher's writing spellbinding. She's very talented author and some of the things she wrote gave me goosebumbs. I can understand her need to explore darker corners of minds. Big plus for that as I appriciate uniqueness and honesty. Sadly, it just didn't work for me. And I wish it did.

SECOND PART – SPOILERS!!!SERIOUS ONES!!!


Okay, let’s get this ball rolling.

Senna is a captive along with Isaac in a closed house, somewhere in the middle of nowhere. They can’t leave the building at all, but have everything what is need to stay alive (food, clothes, water, warmth etc.) They don’t know why and what’s the point of it. So they wait for their captor to make himself/herself known. It doesn’t happen. They are closed for weeks.

Why Mud Vein is a MIND FUCK?

- Isaac has a wife and expects baby but still sleeps with Senna (I know, horrible, but nothing we haven’t seen before, right?)
- Senna was raped few years before her kidnapping, and then she found out she had a breast cancer (almost the same day)
- Senna went a little bit crazy
- The captive thing was a psychological experiment her psychiatrist arranged, you know cause she’s a little sick too
- Senna’s cancer spread while being captivated for months
- Senna died (I came to this conclusion as the book ends with Goodbye letter)
- Oh and yeah, Isaac declared his undying love

I have no more words. Seriously. NEEEEXT



TAADAAAM!

Yes, this is Mud Vein in nutshell. Shocked? Yeah me too. Dumbfounded? High five me. Don’t know what this book is about? Welcome in the freakin’ club.

I can understand if other people will call Mud Vein exceptional mind game that throws the reader of the loop and gave this book five stars. I won't agree with it, but I can see the appeal.

I won't say don't go for it, don't read it, because well that could really be bad if you passed it and enjoy dark and gritty and mysterious. I wasn't smart enough to get the message of Mud Vein, but you definitely CAN!


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[Bibi · Rating 1 out of 5]

*Major Spoilers*

Look, I live in a 3rd world country and even as I write this review there's no power and my Iphone's hotspot is the only reason I have internet connectivity. It's 4 in the morning and I've spent the last 6 hrs reading MV.

Why should you care about my 3rd world problems you ask? So you understand the lack of electricity did not deter me from reading this book until I had read the very last word. Yup, the writing was superb.

Yet, I hated it.

It was one big pity fest; both Isacc and Senna were caricatures, infused with too much *fall-on- a-sword* self-obsessive, narcissistic traits.

Let's start with Senna. Her mother walked away when she was 9 and boyfriend left when she was 20 and although these 2 incidents are heartbreaking, I don't believe they are tragic. Yet, she CHOSE to objectify herself as a victim by living a colorless whitewashed life for close to 13 years.

Then comes Isaac (nice name BTW); who CHOSE to martyr himself on the "altar of love" while knowing his love might remain unrequited. Well, of course, the bit@& psycho *cough*, Senna, can not and will not love him rather she slaps his arse with a restraining order, on the very day he told her he loved her. He, of course, does what every smart man ought to do; moves on to marry a different woman.

Fast forward a couple of years and the protagonists find themselves in a situation that may very well lead to their demise. In this, they need to figure out how to survive, trust and depend on each other. Maybe even disclose their feelings, if any. But really, both protagonists were mirror images of each other, Senna the *woe is me* and Isaac the *save you I must*. Very Titanic-ish; maybe even Romeo and Juliet-ish, and we all know how those worked out.

They survive but the price was paid a little too late.

While the aforementioned issues are irritating, it was the actual lack of dialogue that killed this book and I know there are cybertheorists postulating Isaac might have been an illusion from Senna's psychotic break. With all due respect, the very lack of dialogue invalidates that theory; Marrow, by the same author, is a brilliant accounting of psychosis.

A lot more occurred in this book and I implore others to read it; however, I found it excruciatingly boring.

That being said, I've read other books (Fuck Love, The Opportunists) by Fisher which I loved to bits, and will continue to one-click her.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

“You'll feel me in the fall backwards."

Mud Vein is one of those books that when you're done and you put it down the first thing that you think is "what the hell did I just read?", and that's a good thing. I'm going to rate this book, but I have no idea at the same time if the rating will be fitting... I just don't know. I can see why someone would rate this a one and why someone would rate this a ten.

Mud Vein follows Senna, a recluse writer and Isaac, her ex. The two wake up locked away in a cabin in the woods. Neither of them remember how they got there, where they are, or why they are there. Despite their best efforts the two can't seem to escape. Senna is one of the most complex female protagonist I've ever read. She is a broken women. A sad women. Seeing everything as grey and empty. Senna is a female I think so many women can relate to, but again you might not be able to explain why. I personally felt this magnetic pull towards her. I constantly found myself wanting to know more about her. Senna's character was one of such little words, yet one that didn't need to speak all the time. It had me floored. Isaac, wow, he was a perfect male lead. I loved everything about him. I liked his light, his attitude, the way he was a nurturer, and how he was completely Senna's opposite. He is a leading male that I could spend so much time on gushing about. He is funny, sexy, charming, but someone that I feel (sadly) I can't go too in depth with. These two were day and night and their romance is gripping.

“You’ve been silent your whole life. You were silent when we met, silent when you suffered. Silent when life kept hitting you. I was like that too, a little. But not like you. You are a stillness. And I tried to move you. It didn’t work. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t move me. I heard everything you didn’t say. I heard it so loudly that I couldn’t shut it off. Your silence, Senna, I hear it so loudly.”

The two of them will also drive you mad! Tarryn has it so that she reveals their traits in such a peppered way that you'll be thirsty to know more. I was so frustrated by them that at around the 20% mark of this book I almost threw in the towel and DNF'd it. However, my goodreads friends told me to push through and just make it to the end. The uphill battle was worth it. I don't know how you're able to full understand a character, but feel at the same time you don't know them at all. That's how Tarryn makes you feel the whole time. Any flaws in the plot is repaired by these two characters. That and the romance. The romance in this book was so bizarre and amazing.

The plot of Mud Vein is all over the place. It's a romantic thriller and reads to a T like one. There is always something happening even in its more "calm" moments. The whole book is bang after bang, twist after twist. It's timeline bounces around often, and at first this made reading a bit confusing. That might have been what was so off putting at first. The fact that things took a while to click just made pulling through this book a little rocky... Then again I also won't say that things ever full click. It's in present time, past tense, and even at one point in time is from some else's point of view. Those chapters, the Nick ones, were my favorite. They are flawless!!! I could read an entire book from his POV. The plot, though "messy", still manages to somehow be put together and it's twist is a complete blindside. I did not in any way, shape, or form see it coming... Don't get me wrong, you know it's coming, and you've been waiting 200 pages for it but good God... My brain short circuited for a minute and I forgot how to breathe.



It's really genius... With that being said, there is also something missing about the ending. At first thought I didn't like it, but now having time to think about it I actually like how things are left off.

Mud Vein will pull you in, tear you apart, make you miss something you didn't know existed, and then... leave you wanting more. Mud Vein is a flawed book, and that is exactly what makes it so wonderful. It's scattered, muddy, and oh so dark. The best part of this book is that it is so, SO quotable. So many lines from this story had me in tears and those powerful beautiful lines are what gives this book an extra kick.

“He kissed me with color, with drumbeat, and a surgeon’s precision. He kissed me with who he was, the sum of his life—and it was all encompassing. I wondered what I kissed him with since I was only broken parts.”

Tarryn Fisher will make you realize that you don't have to be the sun, that you can be the rain... and that's okay.

Read this review and others over on my blog
Between the sheets & covers blog
Between the sheets & covers blog
Between the sheets & covers blog

[Nilufer Ozmekik · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book ripped my heart into pieces, burned my brain cells and made me think about my own mud veins in my life. It’s captivating, heart wrenching, exhausting journey to read this. But I’m glad to do that and I’m pleased to survive from emotional turbulence that the words made me feel.

I think my next stop will be Opportunist . Looking forward to read the other books from struggling against new emotional sensations...

[JaHy☝Hold the Fairy Dust]

DNF ......... I SURRENDER !



This is definitely a case of " it's not you, it's me ". I am NOT a fan of overly descriptive dialogue and after 2 hrs, all I retained from the story was the following :

*Senna's a reclusive author.
*She is trapped in a cabin w/ Isaac.
*She prefers square nail beds rather than oval.
*Senna struggles to stay focused on one particular subject.
*Brownish bath water does not phase her.
*She won't wear undergarments unless she purchased them.


Furthermore, One particular comment struck a little too close to home and while I'm fully aware the characters opinion doesn't necessarily reflect the authors, the comment is sitting in my stomach like bad Chinese takeout . No biggie,some pepto will have feeling better in no time.

I hope this review does not deter anyone from reading Mud Vein as it has numerous 5 star reviews. It just wasn't for me.

** Tarryn Fisher I wish you much success. **

[Pearl Angeli · Rating 5 out of 5]

"It's the darkness that pulls me in. Your mud vein."

5 Stars!

Tarryn Fisher, you just left me speechless there!

This may be one of the best unsettling books I've read in my entire life. It's dark and twisted, chilling and psychotic, and totally riveting. Mind-blown!

"Someone could take your body, use it, beat it, treat it like it's a piece of trash, but what hurts far worse than the actual physical attack is the darkness it injects in you."

Mud Vein begins when Senna Richards woke up one day in a strange home. She didn't exactly remember what or who brought her there. She later on found out that she's not the only one who was abducted but also Isaac Asterholder, the surgeon who saved her from a traumatic incident months ago and the one who operated her breast cancer away. Together they did everything to survive in that inescapable place and tried to bring themselves out. But when days and weeks passed without getting any clue, their intricately deep and dark feelings were slowly unraveled which made their situation a lot more twisted.

"I am an animal, bent on surviving. I let nothing in. I let nothing out."

It's my second time to read a novel by Tarryn Fisher. The first one was her F*ck Love which unfortunately didn't amaze me. I vowed to give her another chance after that and now I don't regret it. This one is going straight to my favorites!

"I am a self-fulfilling prophecy; destroying before I could be destroyed."

There were so many things that I loved about this book. First was of course, the impeccable writing of Tarryn that is all her own. I found myself so engaged because of the gripping quality of her writing. Secondly, the gasp-inducing thrilling scenes that the book brought. Also, the book had that certain effect, one that invited me to dig more and more to discover the mystery behind. It basically left my mind reeling in ten different directions all at once. Hands-down!

"That's what it's like to be a prisoner of anything. You want your freedom until you get it, then you feel bare without your chains."

One of the things that also surprised me was the romance. I didn't thought the romantic aspect here had a bigger role in the entire story. Which was good, in my opinion because in the end, everything just made a perfect sense.

"Being stuck on love was a real bitch to cure. Like cancer, I think. Just when you think you're over it, it comes back."

The plot also impressed me. I loved when the book took me from present to past and back to the present. It just made the mystery more and more interesting.

"I never thought of love as a choice. Rather, it seemed like the un-choice. But if you stayed with someone who was self-destructing and chose to keep loving, I suppose it could be a choice."

My favorite parts of course, were those scenes when Senna and Isaac interacted before they were kidnapped. Isaac was such a perfect hero. Just one of a kind. The gentleness he exuded and the way he did everything to stay by Senna's side after what happened to her was so admirable. I mean, damn, I can't help but fall for this man.

"If someone was going to be digging around in my chest with a scalpel, I wanted it to be the guy who showed up and fixed things."

And then when this conversation happened...

"Why are you here?"
He hesitated briefly then said, "Because you are."

Senna, I admit, was difficult to understand. Her dark thoughts and her self-destructing personality made me cringe every time. But she was uniquely portrayed in this book and scrutinizing her way of thinking was the best thing of all.

There were lots of cry-worthy moments here. I felt so connected to the characters and their emotions and everything they went through together. There was just something about their insane experience that made me feel so emotional.

"You are a stillness. And I tried to move you. It didn't work. But that doesn't mean you didn't move me. I heard everything you didn't say. I heard it so loudly that I couldn't shut it off. Your silence, Senna. I hear it so loudly."

Another scene that broke my heart into pieces...

"Tell me a lie, Isaac." His fingertips trace a curlicue on my shoulder.
"I don't love you."

This book was also unpredictable. I developed a lot of conspiracy theories but none of them was correct. Lol. I guess I'm just not a good detective.

"You loved me so much that I started to love myself."

Overall, this book was a real surprise. It's a great psychological, romantic thriller. The ending of course, made me cry. I admit I kind of hoped that there would be a happily ever after but anyway, I think that conclusion was just the right way to end it. It was strongly delivered and it sure gave me goosebumps. I would highly recommend this amazing book for fans of dark and mystery/psychological suspense and thriller books.

"You can't fix me," I said, looking at his knees.
"I don't want to."
"I'm mangled," I said. "On the inside and the outside."
"And yet I love you."

[~ Becs ~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show.

~ Charles Dickens

Well, it’s safe to say this book really did a number on me. I can sum up my experience in a few choice adjectives – shock, bewilderment, obsession, denial and sadness. It’s a painful read – one that will stay with you long after you close the last chapter. This book is so consuming that it seeped into my subconscious and lingered and festered there corrupting my every thought and insidiously invading my dreams. This book will hurt you – Tarryn Fisher wields words like weapons and be prepared to lie wounded at her feet!

I was lucky enough to receive one of the earliest copies of Mud Vein for review and that blurb really isn’t giving much away. I didn’t know what to expect and I certainly didn’t get the book I anticipated. I think I thought I was heading down a dark erotic path but it’s really much more of a psychological thriller than anything else. In fact, at the beginning, it feels almost like a Saw movie with a bit of Stephen King’s Misery added into the mix but it very much comes into it’s own and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever read before.



So take a wander into the unexpected, avoid all spoilers (you won’t find any here) and just experience this white knuckle ride the way the author intends.

As the blurb says, Senna awakens from a drug-induced slumber to find herself a prisoner in a house in the middle of a white wilderness of a snowy landscape with someone significant from her past. She has absolutely no clue why she is there and who is responsible for getting her there and she’s in profound shock, clutching knives as she sleeps, never knowing what may be coming next. The silence of that barren white wilderness outside is deafening as it feels as though she and her companion are the only two people left in the world – a bit like Adam and Even in the Garden of Eden although this is about as far from paradise as it is possible to be.

The desperation and bleakness of their situation is so beautifully handled as you go through the phases of shock and denial with them – I honestly read most of this book with a sense of bewilderment wanting to know who or why but I had no clue. I guessed several times and I never once guessed right who is responsible for all of this. I stumbled through this novel, never knowing what Tarryn Fisher might throw at you next as Senna’s tale both present and past is retold in harrowing detail.

Senna is such a spiky, anti-social individual. She’s really struggled to fit the social norms throughout her life and is now a reclusive novelist and pretty damaged individual. To say the girl gets no luck is a big understatement – Senna is delivered blow after blow and my heart went out to her, wishing she would accept comfort where it is offered and knowing she won’t. There’s a beautiful love out there for her but she’s too absorbed in her own pain, far too anti-social to ever reach out and take what is offered and only this evil incarceration will finally knock the scales from her eyes and allow her to truly ‘see’.

And this is where we get back to that sadness part – there is a whole load of missed opportunities in her life. Senna has had chances of happiness but never takes them – she made my heart hurt so badly. She’s such a lonely soul dwelling only in the darkness of her mind, never allowing anyone to get close, never accepting any comfort offered – she’s Difficult with a big old capital D and she broke my heart.

The author does a fantastic job of grabbing your attention right from page one and dragging you kicking and screaming through the story and then dropping you from a great height right at the end, leaving you in a bedraggled heap and nursing your wounds. This is going to hurt and leave you with a big book hangover. It’s dark and twisted and ultimately very sad and it’s an utterly compelling and completely captivating read. I was totally obsessed with this book during the days that I read it and it really did invade my dreams – I carried the dark, oppressive atmosphere of the it with me everywhere, even in my sleep.


I’ve read and enjoyed Tarryn Fisher before and, while this is a very different story from her Love Me With Lies trilogy, it is still delivered with her wholly addictive, dry, edgy style that I became so hooked on in the past. It’s definitely not the book I expected, it’s not a romance at all so be prepared for something different, go in blind and expect the unexpected and, most of all, be prepared for a painful ride.

5 dark and edgy stars

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[Christy]

DNF at 32%... no rating.

Tarryn Fisher's writing is superb. I love her. Her Love me with Lies series blew me away. I really tried to get into this book, but unfortunately, after 1/3 of the way through I felt no connection to the characters. I'm not sure if it's my mood or what, but I'm going to shelf this one for now. I may go back eventually and finish it, I may not. The 32% I read was very well written, I know a lot of friends who have loved it. It just wasn't working for me at this time...

[Amy | Foxy Blogs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Curious to find out why some friends DNF-ed this book while others LOVED it.

Let the mind games begin.



✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦
I've finished and I'm on the side that loved the story. MUD VEIN was more of a psychological thriller than a true romance. I experienced similar feelings as when I watched the movie Misery back in 1990.



Don't go into this book thinking you are reading a romance book because you'll be disappointed. The plot is filled with twist and turns that will leave you piecing stuff together. One final piece of advice given by Dr. Elgin to everyone- "Read the book." If you like non-traditional books than you may like this one.

Standalone

60th book for 2014

[♥Rachel♥ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Initial Thoughts after reading:

Well that left me an utter mess. Not sure how to rate this yet. I'm still in the middle of piecing my heart back together. Review to come.

Final review:
It pains me to write this review, because I LOVED Tarryn’s Love Me With Lies series. It’s one of my all time favorite series, one of the most memorable for me. While I can’t say Mud Vein was unmemorable, quite the opposite, I can’t stop thinking about it. The difference is, I wish I could.

My main reason for the low rating is my feelings throughout the story. Mud Vein was not an enjoyable reading experience for me. I did not like Senna for the majority of the story, in fact I wanted to SHAKE her more than a few times! Yes, she had horrible things happen to her, I get that, I think she should have a pass on some of her behavior, but for the most part she was completely selfish. Senna was extended kindness over and over from Isaac and she threw it back on him over and over. Being so self-absorbed she ignored his sufferings and never showed she cared to know anything about him. By the time she recognizes this and finally admits she loves Isaac, it’s too little, WAY too late. Love gone wrong, and missed opportunity in a spectacular fashion. By the time I got to the end, I ugly cried. Big time. But it was ugly crying from hurt and FRUSTRATION.

Senna had lots of similarities to Olivia from The Opportunist that I felt she was just another version of her, minus the likable parts.

I felt the need to read quickly to get the story over with, and I just can’t rate a book highly when I feel that way.

[Mali Mor ❤️ The Romantic Blogger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, this book... fucking WOW!!!!!!! 💥💣💥💣

It's different, but ingenious...
It's hard, but really fascinating...
It's heart clenching, but wonderful...
It is not standard but excellently written...
It doesn't make much sense, but so special...
It's unlike anything I've read before - and managed to completely undermine me!!! 😭😭😭

📚 "𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞?" 𝐈 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦. "𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞?"
"𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭." 📚

I won't write anything about the plot, because it's one of those books that should be experienced on blind - but I'll just say that it's not for everyone - it's tragic and a bit depressing, but if you like psychological romance that will make you THINK and FEEL - this is a must-read book for you! 🎠

The truth is, I'm still not sure if I loved or hated it - it was the kind of book I know I'll never be able to read again - and at the same time, I will NEVER FORGET!!! 😱😱😱

📚 “𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭. 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮." 📚

Tarryn doesn't stop to surprise me with her amazing writing and geniuses mind... I loved the insanity, the mystery, that the puzzle pieces slowly revealed a super surprising picture... I loved that the book displayed a different kind of love - but equally powerful... ❤🎠

The ending was bitter sweet - but it was quite typical "Tarryny ending" - and I wouldn't expect anything else from her!!! 😂

In summary - I'm having a reading block! (and thanks for that Tarryn, you bitch!) 😭😂

• I listened to the AUDIO version. 🎧

▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️

📖 ᖴOᒪᒪOᗯ ᗰE Oᑎ IᑎᔕTᗩGᖇᗩᗰ: https://www.instagram.com/the_romanti...

📖 ᐯIᔕIT ᗰY ᗷᒪOG ᖴOᖇ ᗰOᖇE ᖇEᐯIEᗯᔕ: https://books-romance.com/

📖 GOOᗪᖇEᗩᗪᔕ: https://bit.ly/3acMRMP

💕 לקריאת הסקירה בעברית, כנסו לבלוג: https://books-romance.com/ 💕

[Beth Hudspeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review posted at: Hello Beautiful Book Blog

A mud vein is the dark strip down the back of a shrimp. You have to take it out for it to be clean. The mud vein is the darkness. I think we all have a small one in us, some are more easily seen. Some wear their mud vein on their face, others try to cover it up with everything they can.

The landscape described in Mud Vein closely mirrors Senna. It is barren, it is solitude and silence, she is trapped in the landscape, but the landscape is her. There is someone trapped there with her. Her savior, Isaac. He is essentially trapped within her and the landscape. She is holding him there and the landscape is holding him there. They have a tie that binds them together. If you are lucky enough to find this person in your life, never let them go, never take them for granted.

“What’s the difference?” I asked him. “Between the love of your life, and your soulmate?”
“One is a choice, and one is not.”

I am going to put a disclaimer on this one. If you are going into this wanting a romance, you will not be happy. This book is hard to categorize. I also want to include the letter Tarryn wrote to readers of Mud Vein.

Letter to the Readers about Mud Vein:

Dear Reader,
I am a writer and words are my weapon. I want to hurt you. I want my words to be salt, and I want to pour them into your open wound. I want my words to be jagged pieces of mirror that you can see yourself reflected in. I am a sadist otherwise known as an artist. My books are a call to women who have been doubled over by heartache, bound by boredom, captives of a past that will not let them go, victors of a past that tried to kill them. I have a disease you see, it’s called human nature, and I am fascinated by it. So, if you choose to read Mud Vein remember that about me. I’m not writing to entertain you, or to make money, or to have my book propped neatly on a shelf in Target. I write to explore the dark corners of myself, and I want you to come with me. I’m a little bit like you. I think you’ll see yourself in the pages of Mud Vein. I haven’t told you very much about it on purpose. I want you to go in blind. I want you to stumble across a thought, a sound, a hurt-which you had thought special to you. And realize I have felt them too, someone you have never met. If you choose to read Mud Vein, please don’t ask yourself what it says, ask yourself what it means. And once you read my black words, on a white page, e-mail me and tell me your interpretation. I can’t wait for your thoughts.

“I am a writer and words are my weapon” – Tarryn Fisher
Truer words have never been spoken. Fisher wrecked my heart with this one. She opened my eyes. I love a book that you can’t get out of your head. It wasn’t the story-line, but the characters I can’t shake. The twist really didn’t surprise me, I pretty much had it figured out but it didn’t matter. I don’t care. It was the experience. It was being in Senna’s head and seeing a part of yourself there. It’s just a piece, but you know it’s there. It’s dark and twisted and mangled. Senna bore that on her body and in her mind. She never let anyone in and she never let anyone out. She is the electrical fence, she is the cabin, the fire, the carousel room, the attic, the snow. She is your depression and anger; she is the crazy you wish you could be when things go wrong. But in all that, she is BRAVE.

Interesting it took this very dark book to break me out of my slump. This is my first 5 star review of this year and I’m about 16 books in. It evoked emotion in me. Emotions that are hard to describe. I felt raw reading this, I felt my face contort reading this, I felt my heart break reading this. Sometimes it's the pain that wakes us up, sometimes it's the pain that makes us feel anything and in turn, let's the happiness in.

I think there is a small mud vein in us all.

"Cause she's just like the weather, can't hold her together
Born from dark water, daughter of the rain and snow"
--Florence and the Machine

[Amy Harmon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just read Mud Vein by Tarryn Fisher. I have no words. The story was compelling, yes. Compulsively readable? Absolutely; I read it straight through the night without stopping. But you know what? It was the turn of phrase, the language, the metaphor, the absolutely stunning beauty of the narrative that reeled me in. I tend to skim when I read. I can't help it. But I didn't skim with Mud Vein. I couldn't. The words were like tentacles. I couldn't escape them. I am truly in awe of Tarryn Fisher's genius. Truly in awe.

[Holly · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars

God, this is a hard one for me.

I absolutely LOVE Fisher's writing style. It's beautiful and unique and always conjures up various emotions for me. And while the writing in Mud Vein was as gorgeous as ever....the actual story left me feeling cold and detached.

I don't really want to sit here and list all of the problems I had with this book. I actually hate writing negative reviews over all. But, i feel like i need to at least partially explain why it was a struggle for me to even give this book 2 stars.

First of all, the premise was very intriguing to me. And even though for the first 30% of the book I was beyond confused as to WTF was going on, I was still willing to go with it...hoping that everything would make sense in the end, and when Fisher gave us the Big Reveal it would wash away all of the frustration I had with the plot.

No such luck.

The twist...was a HUGE disappointment. It made very little sense, and was just too far fetched for me. And while I never found myself really rooting for the main characters, I still found the actual ending to be quite depressing.

Mud Vein was one of my top 3 most anticipated books of 2014, and perhaps some could say that my expectations were too high. Judging by all the glowing reviews I have seen for this book, once again i seem to be in the minority when it comes to my opinion.

I am still an enormous fan of Fisher's writing, and even though this book left me disappointed, I will still gladly read anything else she decides to publish.

[Sharon ∞❥ is an emotional book junkie ❥∞ · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, I'm starting off my review with the letter that TF left her readers and I'm highlighting some very crucial parts. Parts you need to pay careful attention to if you're serious about reading this book.

"Dear Reader,
I am a writer and words are my weapon. I want to hurt you. I want my words to be salt, and I want to pour them into your open wound. I want my words to be jagged pieces of mirror that you can see yourself reflected in. I am a sadist otherwise known as an artist. My books are a call to women who have been doubled over by heartache, bound by boredom, captives of a past that will not let them go, victors of a past that tried to kill them. I have a disease you see, it’s called human nature, and I am fascinated by it. So, if you choose to read Mud Vein remember that about me. I’m not writing to entertain you, or to make money, or to have my book propped neatly on a shelf in Target. I write to explore the dark corners of myself, and I want you to come with me. I’m a little bit like you. I think you’ll see yourself in the pages of Mud Vein. I haven’t told you very much about it on purpose. I want you to go in blind. I want you to stumble across a thought, a sound, a hurt-which you had thought special to you. And realize I have felt them too, someone you have never met. If you choose to read Mud Vein, please don’t ask yourself what it says, ask yourself what it means. And once you read my black words, on a white page, e-mail me and tell me your interpretation. I can’t wait for your thoughts.

Tarryn Fisher"


First off, I liked this book, as in, the writing and at this point, I'm not really sure what else I "liked". My mind is a bit scrambled. But...I LOVE the way TF writes. It's really about all the little things and the way she makes things seem so real.

Secondly, this book is depressing!! My heart goes out to Senna. I just cannot fathom everything she went through. I would not wish that on my worst enemy.

Lastly, I couldn't stop reading it! I know not everyone feels the same way but let me explain. I like books I can't figure out and I especially like books that don't always have a happy ending. I knew going in that this would be a given.



Back to the story... If you've read the blurb, you know that Senna gets kidnapped and kept in a house. What you don't know is that there's someone else with her and it's a person who has helped her in the past, Isaac.

Isaac is pretty amazing and when he first meets Senna she has already been through some horrible things and then has some horrific things happen to her. He tries to be what she needs but she's a tough cookie to crack.

The book is broken up into three parts: the part where they are first kidnapped, the part where they meet, and the part after. So obviously, it takes a while to get some answers. You mind will try to figure things out but I will be shocked if you're able. I didn't even come close.



That's where we come to the things I didn't like. I was shocked at who the zookeeper(aka kidnapper) was because it's not anyone you would guess and the reasoning's are pretty flimsy IMO. The only good thing I can say about it is that the person was probably one of the people who could be the least hurtful. (if that makes sense)

I loved the Love me with Lies series especially The Opportunist. I love how TF takes little ordinary things and make them so unordinary. The music without words, the white, and knowing people by their sense...I just loved all that.

As you've guessed, this isn't a book for everybody, most of my friends either loved it or didn't like it/DNF'd it. It's really important for you to have a good idea what you're getting yourself into because it is one crazy trip!



Favorite quotes:

♥ "Acceptance. Embrace the suck."

♥ "No one wants to carry someone when they're heavy from life."

♥ "Why are you here?"

"Because you are."

♥ " He kissed me with color, with drumbeat, and a surgeon’s precision. He kissed me with who he was, the sum of his life—and it was all encompassing. I wondered what I kissed him with since I was only broken parts."

♥ “The truth is for the mind,” he says. “Lies are for the heart. So let’s just keep lying.”

[Vilma · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I’ve ever read. Powerful. Introspective. Suspenseful. Gripping. Heartbreaking. An emotional powerhouse perfectly crafted and brilliantly written.

“It’s your darkness that pulls me in. Your mud vein. But sometimes having a mud vein will kill you.”

I experienced this book, alone, in a quiet house on a rainy day, which I felt was ominously appropriate. A dark, cold day listening to the melodic spattering of rain as the words from this story battered my thoughts more forcefully. Gripped me. I was immediately taken. Held captive myself, by the raw power of this book. The trickling of information, clues, truths, secrets, all half-exposed, half-shrouded as the story unfurled. It’s difficult to convey what this story is about, but I think the best, most succinct word I can use is truth.

This is a story about truth.

The truth we seek to uncover. The truth beneath the pain. The truth we bury deep inside and are too blind to see. And finally, the truth we find … often times, too late.

“This is a game, and if I want to get out, I have to find the truth.”

Senna awakes to a real-life nightmare. She finds herself imprisoned without chains, but locked up in a cabin encased by snow, trapped with a person from her past who ignites old feelings she meant to keep dormant. Unclear clues taunt all around them. The game is ingeniously staged for them to figure out. There are many facets to this story, ribbons of the plot untwining gradually, and during this part of the book, I found myself caught up in the suspense of their situation. I found myself observing and deliberating, elements twisting and clicking into place. Waiting. Watching for the nuances of their environment, clues hidden in the subtext of words and hiding in plain sight.

“Who will live and who will die? It’s the worst form of torture a person can imagine — the wait to die.”

But the more I worked to decipher the mystery, the more I found myself intrigued by the enigma that is Senna. I was lost in her, unraveling her complexities to better understand her essence. She defies normal, reveling in the anti-current of society. She’s a writer. An artist. She takes in the world through a different lens. She’s also one of the most tragic characters of which I’ve read. Pain has defined her. Abandonment has shaped her. She destroys before she can be destroyed. But the more I tried to untangle, the more I wondered whether perhaps I was trying to uncover something that already laid bare. To me, she was both exceedingly vulnerable and entirely shielded. She’s worked so hard to smother the sum of her painful experiences that she lives behind the haze of a thin veil, obscuring her emotions. There’s only been one person who’s been able to lift the fog and see right through her.

“She can’t see the landscape anymore. It’s all painted in her grief.”

---(Florence and The Machine, Landscape)

Dr. Isaac Asterholder. This is the man she finds in the cabin … the man from her past … the man she pushed away. He met Senna in a moment of chaos and vulnerability, in the raging aftermath of pain. He forced his way into her life, helping her in a way no one had before.

“Isaac was a stranger and he had seen more of my wounds than anyone else. Not because I chose him… He was just always there. That’s what scared me.”

We are transported back to a time where we can better understand Senna and Isaac and the charged dynamic between them. Isaac pushed through all the walls that Senna erected, but he never pushed too far, just far enough to make progress. He was her lifeline at a time her life seemed to permanently dim. Senna’s way of dealing with life was seeing what happened as an indisputable fact. Something she just had to deal with. She was broken. Disfigured by fate and circumstance. She didn’t relent to the pain, but she saw herself as permanently scarred. Isaac was selfless, fixated on healing those broken parts of her he could, bringing color, feeling and intensity to a life painted white, stark and cold. A person from Senna’s past said that she was a “daughter of winter” and I think if she personified winter, then Isaac was someone who thrived in the cold uncertainty of the season. He was a fixer who understood more about her wounds and her silence than anyone else. He carried her pain as his own.

“He kissed me with color, with drumbeat, and a surgeon’s precision. He kissed me with who he was, the sum of his life — and it was all encompassing. I wondered what I kissed him with since I was only broken parts.”

Nevertheless, peering into their past didn’t change reality. They were now two people with lives that had long diverged, suddenly so tangled again by a situation they never expected. Trying to survive a looming danger, an anonymous culprit, the pangs of hunger and the insanity of time, was enough to break open the floodgates, bringing a deluge of emotions that Senna had worked so hard to suppress.

“Being stuck on love was a real bitch to cure. Like cancer, I think. Just when you think you’re over it, it comes back.”

What happens in the cabin and the events that lead up to it are for you to experience. These characters are just brilliantly written, each on their own journey to find their truth. As a writer, Senna needed “simplicity to create complexity,” but I think that she was so lost in her own complexity that she couldn’t see the simple truth in front of her. She was paralyzed by fear – of so many things – but also to feel so much and have it all be brutally taken away. Because Isaac was all feeling. He flooded her senses. And Senna was afraid to feel. Feeling meant being tethered to someone, beholden to something she couldn’t control.

“There is a string that connects us that is not visible to the eye… Maybe every person has more than one soul they are connected to, and all over the world there are these invisible strings…. Maybe the chances that you’ll find each and every one of your soulmates is slim. But sometimes you’re lucky enough to stumble across one. And you feel a tug. And it’s not so much a choice to love them through their flaws and through your differences, but rather you love them without even trying. You love their flaws.”

This is one of the best books I’ve ever read. Absolutely and undeniably brilliantly written. The syntax. The word choices. The layers and sub-layers of meaning make it impossible to not get mesmerized by the story. To me, it felt like a multisensory experience. As if I were walking into a literary butterfly den, not knowing whether to get lost in the beauty of the colorful patterns, or entranced by the soft sounds fluttering in the distance, or be flooded by the smell of the environment around you. I felt my way through this book. I was captivated by all the elements coming together so perfectly. Powerfully. It honestly just blew me away. Is this a romance? No. It’s a novel that defies genre. It’s fiction, suspense, romance, mystery all woven together to create an unforgettable story about discovering the darkest, muddiest, well-buried truths within ourselves… the kind of truth that fills a life with meaning and ultimately sets you free.

“You’ve been silent your whole life. You were silent when we met, silent when you suffered. Silent when life kept hitting you… I tried to move you. It didn’t work. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t move me. I heard everything you didn’t say. I heard it so loudly that I couldn’t shut if off. Your silence, Senna, I hear it so loudly.”

For more reviews, connect with me:
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[Candace · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was beautifully written and I would definitely read more books by this author. Unfortunately, I didn't love this book like I was expecting to. I never really felt like I connected with Senna at all, maybe as a result of her being so emotionally detached for most of the book. Not having that attachment, I never did fall in love with the story. It was "ok" overall, even though the writing and complex plot twists were absolutely superb. I really think the only thing stopping me from loving this book was the fact that I didn't really like, or relate to Senna at all.

Aside from Senna, this book had everything that I love in a book. It was very well-written, with a lot of mystery and suspense. Isaac was a great character and I felt much more connected to him throughout the book. The ending and the revelation of the zookeeper's identity was totally unpredictable, which doesn't happen very often. I felt that the ending was fitting and seemed consistent with the glum mood of the book.

This is not your standard romance. If you are looking for a hot, passionate tale, this isn't it. It is emotionally and psychologically deep mystery/suspense with a background love story.

I would recommend giving this book a try, even though it wasn't one that I loved.

[Megan • Reading Books Like a Boss (book blog) · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars

Mud Vein is a life changing book. It is a book that you don't read, you absorb it. You savor it. Tarryn Fisher's words spoke to me, the deepest part of me. After I finished this book, I couldn't even move on to something else. Instead, I immediately reread it. Mud Vein left me with this indescribable feeling that I don't want to wash off with other words. Instead, I want to keep swimming in the sea of Senna Richards and her darkness. Mud Vein is one of my all-time favorite books.

Tarryn Fisher's intention is for the reader to go into this book completely blind, which is why the synopsis is somewhat vague. I will keep my review spoiler-free so that you have the best reading experience.

"Maybe the chances that you'll find each and every one of your soulmates is slim. But sometimes you're lucky enough to stumble across one. And you feel a tug. And it's not so much a choice to love them through their flaws and through your difference but rather you love them without even trying. You love their flaws."

Mud Vein is a story about a woman's journey to find the truth, her truth. On her thirty-third birthday, Senna Richards awakens in a mysterious room. It doesn't take long for her to realize that she's been drugged and kidnapped. Peering out the window, she sees "all the snow in the world," tipping her off that she's far, far away from her Seattle home. And she is not alone. She's trapped in the cabin with the one person from her past that painted her black and white world with color, the one person she fought so hard to push away.

Senna Richards is one of the most heartbreaking yet captivating characters I have ever read. Her past holds her prisoner. Bound by hurt, abandonment and self-destruction, she holds the reins to her emotions, to her surroundings, and to all people she chooses to let in and out of her life. She writes to the tune of white and black walls, to music with no words, and boxes away any feeling at all so that she doesn't have to feel pain.

"Things distracted me. Or maybe they complicated me. I didn't like to live with color. I wasn't always like that. I learned to survive better."

I fell for Senna Richards. I fell for her darkness and the shards of light that peeked through her cracks. I fell for her vulnerability and her strength. Perhaps most the most tragic thing about her is that she was blind to the truth that was right in front her. Fisher takes you on an emotional journey through Senna's past, through the pain and through her hurt.

"You've been silent your whole life. You were silent when we met, silent when you sufferent. Silent when life kept hitting you. I was like that too, a little. But not like you. You are a stillness. And I tried to move you. It didn't work. But that doesn't mean you didn't move me. I heard everything you didn't say. I heard it so loudly that I couldn't shut it off. Your silence, Senna. I hear it so loudly."

Her life of isolation is put to the test when she is reacquainted with the one person from her past that fills her with color, sound and feeling. Isaac Asterholder holds onto a piece of Senna's past that she tried so desperately to bury deep, lock away, and forget about. Isaac is Senna's fellow captor in the cabin in the middle of nowhere. Senna met Isaac at moment of time in her life when she was falling in every sense of the word. He carried her burdens for her.

"Birds are the only things that grow wings. We're just left to muck through the mire like a bunch of emotional cave men."
"Now if you have someone to carry you."

Fisher's intentional style of storytelling gripped me from the very beginning. The way in which she reveals Senna's story was perfectly executed and exquisitely timed. The most incredible thing about this book is what it does to your heart. I could feel every fear, moment of anger, intense feelings of love, painful hunger and sadness that Senna felt. This book made me feel not only for the characters but for myself. Mud Vein made me look at myself and my life. This book has words on the surface but it has a pulse and it has a heartbeat. It is living and breathing and its veins hook straight into your heart.

If I had to recommend one book to you this year, it would be this one. This book is an experience you need to have.

* I received a copy from the author in exchange for an honest review

 



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4/6/2014 - Mud Vein is not only a top favorite of 2014 but an ALL-TIME favorite read. Everyone needs to experience this book!!! Review to come!!

SYNOPSIS:
When reclusive novelist Senna Richards wakes up on her thirty-third birthday, everything has changed. Caged behind an electrical fence, locked in a house in the middle of the snow, Senna is left to decode the clues to find out why she was taken. If she wants her freedom, she has to take a close look at her past. But, her past has a heartbeat…and her kidnapper is nowhere to be found. With her survival hanging by a thread, Senna soon realizes this is a game. A dangerous one. Only the truth can set her free.



I can't wait! I can't wait! I will read anything Tarryn Fisher writes because she is a word magician!

[Ash Wednesday · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 STARS

”You are at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart.”
-Franz Kafka

I couldn’t choose a quote from this book, so we’ll go with that one.

Well this certainly wouldn’t be a crowd pleaser. But something about an author as established as Tarryn Fisher refusing to pander to certain limits and expectations makes me want to outright slap a 5 star rating on Mud Vein. Something about seeing her unmistakable fingerprints all over a book that is such a departure from the comforts set by a series as successful as Love Me With Lies just clenches at my heart.

Because seriously, I know its a personal question and all but what’s the level of meta in this book? On a scale of Wheel of Fortune to Community?

It was far from perfect, but in more ways than one, this was a more believable progression from The Opportunist and Dirty Red than Thief for me. Sometimes I even felt the ghosts of Caleb and Olivia in Isaac and Senna. Their dynamic eerily reminiscent but also distinct: a woman broken by the world and the man who loves her ugly, jagged pieces, this time within a psychological thriller milieu. I really wasn’t invested in the whole mystery early on, despite it being this book’s take-off point. I was more interested in the complexity of both characters who were both strangers and non-strangers at the beginning of the story. My curiosity on who did it did eventually kick in once their backstory was satisfied and while I never really considered it as the driving force behind the plot, I found myself happy with how this was resolved. What others may read as anticlimactic, I’m inclined to interpret as not being the climax at all.

Because this wasn’t a book about a woman and a man who got abducted in the middle of nowhere after all.

Senna was a bit of a painful character to experience. She has a lot of brambles entwined in the complex mess of her twigs and branches while her roots extend to depths of fathomless, unanswered whys. She’s an Emilie Autumn quote: “a terribly real thing in a terribly false world causing her so much pain.” She is all of us and none of us.

She was a house with no windows.

There’s even an almost fantastical quality to her relationship with Isaac and her path to her truth with enough emotional textures worthy of Wong Kar-Wai and Lars von Trier's wistful pain. It was all very cinematic, the circumstances too unnatural and out there that didn’t quite fit with the truthiness it was trying to convey.

This has been a particular trademark of this author, of course, one that endeared me to the stories she weaved before. Ultimately, the themes of conditional and unconditional love were explored with exhaustive depth and complexity, but the twinge of disappointment over insta-love as the bottomline was undeniable from where I stand.

I also can’t help but notice some heavy handedness everywhere including the prose and dialogue. I’m hard-pressed to quote this book. There are just too many. It read like one sound bite after another, the subtext in the dialogue alone was relentlessly cryptic. And placed within a psychological thriller-slash-mystery, it just got too exhausting and monotonously depressing. A problem I’ve had before with Varian Krylov: there’s not enough room to let the story exhale for a moment, to contrast or to create space to fill up again with emotions. Melancholia bleeding into melancholia equals emotional fatigue.

It was in that monotony that I felt this book ultimately lost its grasp on me. Such that somewhere past the middle, the pieces only made sense within the context of that moment. But gaining some distance and perspective you lose sight of things, miss out certain details in the murky depths of depression, metaphors and subtext, and before you know it you're thinking of the the Chrysler Building fighting against a radically religious shrimp while a confused crystal bird looks on.



(Yes that was a gratuitously placed image, I just wanted to put that somewhere because revisiting my thoughts on this book was depressing enough.)

I really really wanted to fall in love with this because the sentiment was heartfelt and I liked the feeling of reading something that felt written with bone-rattling, visceral honesty and balls-to-the-wall passion without catering to anyone’s comfort zones. It's just that the heaviness just fuzzed out some of its edge, robbing Mud Vein a bit of its brilliance. But in terms of direction and evolution from this author, this was a welcome comfort.

Also on Booklikes.

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/



Ha! Just kidding. Calm down, fangirls. I really had you going there for a minute though, didn’t I? Mud Vein definitely isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever read. Heck, it isn’t even the worst thing I’ve read this week (still looking at you for that one, Ted Callahan). I added this book to my TBR because . . . well, mainly because it was only a buck, but also because Tarryn Fisher and Colleen Hoover’s new co-written book was getting lots of hype (both positive and negative) and I wanted to give one of Ms. Fisher’s solo works a chance before I committed to either read or never read Never Never.

If you follow my reviews you know that I read a little bit of everything, but I will say that NA or whatever the f they are calling it today isn’t generally my genre of choice. When I saw Mud Vein shelved as “dark” and “suspense” and “thriller” and those shelves were accompanied by ranting and raving by fans, non-fans, and the author all talking about how this story was apparently super disturbing to some, I figured it could be a winner for me.



Yeah. I guess I like my “dark” like fucking pitch black without even a sliver of light showing through. Although Mud Vein is the story of a reclusive author and her former stalker doctor discovering they have been kidnapped and apparently left for dead in a cabin in the Alaskan wilderness, it didn’t really get psychologically thriller-y enough for me.

KIND OF A SPOILER AHEAD, SO TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TELLING YOU WHO WASN’T THE BAD GUY.

Still Here? Okay, I know this wasn’t my book and it’s not my call who the bad guy is, but with all the hype I really wanted it to be Isaac. If he was a big enough nutbag to basically move himself in to Senna’s house when the “superbadawful” happened, why wouldn’t he be the one who locked her up with him in isolation until she admitted the “truth”????? But maybe that’s just me . . .



I’m giving this one 2.5 Stars because it was a perfectly average read for me. I thought Tarryn Fisher did a quality job of keeping the momentum of the story going, especially when it was very much driven by the inner workings of Senna’s head rather than via conversation. I will warn you, though, Ms. Fisher is a lover of language. If you are a reader who gets annoyed by 50 words being used where 5 would suffice (*cough* like in Tahereh Mafi books *cough*), there’s a good chance this one won’t work for you. But when the words are written well . . .

“He was right there, making me look at him. His gaze was slicing. Sluicing. There was too much emotion. He kissed me with color, with drumbeat, and a surgeon’s precision. He kissed me with who he was, the sum of his life – and it was all encompassing.”

Sometimes it’s okay for there to be lots of them.

Oh, and dare I forget to mention the soundtrack chosen for this one. References to Awolnation and my most beloved Florence (as well as her Machine) really helped suck me in to the story.

“Your song reminds me of swimming, which somehow I’d forgot.”



I want to be Florence Welch when I grow up.

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

**** 6 STARS ****

“What’s the difference?” I asked him. “Between the love of your life, and your soul mate?”

“One is a choice, and one is not.”



“You are my truth”.


This book.... *swallows hard* this book cut deep and left a scar in its wake.

I said it in my Love Me With Lies series review and I’m going to say it again....Tarryn Fisher's writing is so raw, rare, elegant and rhythmical -it penetrates through to your skin, runs through your veins and pierces your heart. It flows so naturally and it’s so addictive that it will leave you desperately hungry for more. You will find yourself rereading each sentence over and over and over again. I wanted absorb it all in, in hope of storing those words for keepsake in my memory bank. I had to restrain myself from highlighting the entire book and quoting it in my status updates. Her words demand you to feel, live and breath her story. Her effortless writing is infused with class, smoothness, sexiness and a whole lot of wicked.. I just *love* her work.

“There is a string that connects us that is not visible to the eye. Maybe every person has more than one soul they are connected to, and all over the world there are those invisible strings… Maybe the chances that you’ll find each and every one of your soul mates is slim. But sometimes you’re lucky enough to stumble across one. And you feel a tug. And it’s not so much a choice to love them though their flaws and through your differences, but rather you love them without even trying. You love their flaws.”




There is love in this story but there is no romance. It is so much deeper than that. If you are going into this expecting a fluffy hearts and flowers type of read, where boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after then think again. If that’s what you want then don’t read it - it not for you, but I must say you will be missing out on a brilliant book and Oh what a shame that would be!. This book is raw, its real and it speaks the truth. Not everything in life is rainbows, ponies and sunshine. For many, it is darkness and cold. This book gives us the rare opportunity as avid readers to explore and ‘feel’ that dark side to a characters life. It’s not exaggerated or unrealistic, it just.... is. It’s perfect within its imperfections and it is a story that left me with more than a few new grey hairs.




My advice to you is to pay very close attention to detail when reading this– take notes if you must. Tarryn sets up the puzzle but it is our job to put the pieces together. That’s what I love most about her work; it’s that you need to actual think. It’s not just about sitting back and enjoying the ride. She actually forces you not get involved in the story and discovery process.



This book is about the suffering, loss, fear of love/life and the consequences of enduring all those things. I don’t want to give away too much of the story, to really appreciate and feel the story it’s best to go in completely blind and allow it to overtake you completely.

I felt as though Tarryn was holding my heart in the palm of her hand the entire time and just kept squeezing and squeezing- she had no mercy. With every turn of the page she would add just a little more pressure until the very end when she completely disintegrated my heart.



Tarryn fisher has a distinct way of cracking your chest open, baring your soul, ripping your heart out, stomping on it and in that single second before you feel like you’re about to take your last breath she shoves it back in your chest. You survive, but your heart will never be the same again. She is an extraordinarily gifted author, who not only thinks outside the box but also challenges the reader to do the same. The originality and uniqueness of her work will leave you speechless and awe struck. The effort that she has put into her work is evident through the flawless details and the well thought out puzzles.

"If you formed a woman's soul out of black graphite, bathed it in blood, and then rolled it around in the softest rose petals, you still wouldn't have touched on the complication that was my match".




Note to Author....

Tarryn Fisher... In one of your blogs you said something about “Wanting to hurt us with your words”. Mission accomplished. What happens when you pour salt water on a wound? It burns, stings and hurts like hell and sometimes it even leaves a scar. Yes, your words hurt, but there is also a power in them that heals.

"You are stillness. And I tried to move you. It didn't work. But that doesn't mean you didn't move me. I heard everything you didn't say. I heard it so loudly that I couldn't shut it off. Your silence, Senna, I hear it so loudly".


"Landscape" and “Cosmic Love” By Florence and the Machine are the songs to listen to while reading Mud Vein. Tarryn Fisher mentions them throughout the book often.





“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”




“Why are you here?”......


“Because you are”.




03.14
Confession... I totally have a girl crush on Tarryn Fisher!!!! Seriously is it the 18th of April yet?????? I WANT. NEED. MUST HAVE. WOULD HURT PEOPLE TO HAVE THIS BOOK RIGHT NOW!!!!!!



07.13 - I would read A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G Tarryn Fisher writes - Pure Perfection! She's in a league of her own! Bring it on!!!

[Nenia ✨ I yeet my books back and forth ✨ Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

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 I read this book for the Unapologetic Romance Readers' New Years 2017 Reading Challenge. For more info about what this is, click here.



I put off reading this author for the longest time because her books were often spoken of in the same breaths as other authors whose works I couldn't stand. I assumed that they were all the same, and I am kicking myself right now, because MUD VEIN was kind of awesome and I could have gotten a head start on her books years ago.



MUD VEIN is not a traditional romance. It's dark and unpleasant, with a nonlinear story line. It actually reminds me of another book I read recently called THE GHOSTWRITER, in the sense that this damaged woman shrouded in mystery is the narrator of the tale, and it's all about her journey and her tragic love story as she tries to come to terms with herself and learn how to be human again.



Senna, the heroine of MUD VEIN, wakes up one day in a house surrounded by snow, penned in by an electric fence, and supplied with enough food to last a couple months. Also trapped with her is a doctor, named Isaac. The house is filled with clues that allude to a past that she'd rather forget, and secrets that she's never told to anyone...except for Isaac. Who captured them? And how do they get free? The answers to both questions are interlinked in a surprising way.



The story is chopped up into three seconds and it looks like my friends who DNF'd this (there were a surprising amount!) decided to do so in the second part. Which I get. The second part is where it starts to get slow and really depressing. I actually liked the minutiae, though, because it was the part of the story where we get to really know Senna as a person and a lot of the clues behind her imprisonment begin to fall into place. The first part is definitely the best, though - the gradual reveals are paced perfectly evenly, and have this "Netflix Original" vibe.



So why not five stars? That slow middle section. It was sloooow. I didn't mind reading it, but it didn't keep me locked in the way the first part of the story did. I also wasn't keen on the last chapter of the book - not because it was depressing, but because one of the twists didn't really make sense and wasn't foreshadowed sufficiently or explained particularly well. I was left feeling confused, and I don't think it was because I didn't understand what was going on; I think it was bad storytelling.



Still; this was a darn good book and I read it in a single day. One of my friends recommended this author to me because she said that her stories reminded her of my stories, and I guess that means dark and twisty - which I can totally get on board with. I love dark and twisty when it's done well, and this was done very well. I have a whole bunch of this author's other books on my Kindle and can't wait to start them, because the writing in MUD VEIN has left me feeling incredibly optimistic (although the story itself did not - yeesh).



4 stars

[Hannah (bookwormstalk) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently read a memoir that climbed its way to the top of my favorites, so of course I wanted to reread my longtime favorite to reevaluate where they both stand. I'm happy to say that this still lives up there. Even the second time around it hit me like a ton of bricks. The insights, the perspectives--this book is special. There are few books that are markers, and what I mean by that is a book that marks a clear before and after in my life because of reading it. I feel different after reading the words. After all, as Janet Fitch once wrote, [words] become the marrow in your bones, making you impervious to the worlds' soft decay.


Initial review:
Whoa. That book was refreshing in the most contradictory way possible--I loved that it wasn't a romance, but that it was brutally honest about love, and especially the huge psychological game that is Mud Vein.

[destiny ♡ howling libraries · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mud Vein is the story of a bestselling author who awakes on her 33rd birthday to find herself having been abducted and trapped in a secluded house, stocked with food, supplies, and the man who saved her years ago... but there's no way out, and no explanation. Just snow, and silence.

It wasn't like me, but everything had changed. And if he kept showing up for me, I could show up for him. Just this once.

→ Senna ←
Senna is such an incredible and unique narrator. She is cold, stone cold - brutally so. She's been hurt, and her defense is to shut people out - and we see that all the time in stories, but I've never seen anyone so committed to the cause as she is. Her choices are downright frustrating at times because they hurt so much to watch unfold, but I related so strongly to something inside of her. I have a horrible habit of disassociating and shutting people out, especially those who love me most, and overcoming that tendency is one of the most difficult challenges I ever have, or ever will, face. It's something I still work on, and seeing it laid out on paper was so eye-opening, because some of the things she said... I felt like I was looking at myself from the outside, and that is such a bizarre place to be, really.

Love sticks, and it stays and it braves the bullshit.

→ Isaac ←
What can I even say about Dr. Isaac Asterholder? He is so precious, and kind, and brave, and wonderful. His care is more than Senna thinks she deserves, but he is unwavering, determined to save her one more time. He is the perfect example of a loved one that is trying so desperately to climb the walls that she's put up in defense, no matter how many times the grit peels the skin from his palms.

I should have stayed home. I should have done anything but jog that trail, on that morning, at that time.

→ trauma ←
Senna undergoes so many brutal moments in her life, and the depiction given of her trauma is literal perfection. Her coping techniques are varied and sometimes unexpected, such as the need for white rooms and music without words, but they never feel as though they're written in to simply serve as plot devices; from cover to cover, Senna feels like a real, authentic human being telling us her story.

→ final thoughts ←
This book comes with a lot of trigger warnings. It's a tough read, involving rape, cancer, self-harm, and mental health struggles. There is a scene in this book that broke me. I've never known firsthand what it is to watch the person you care most about hurt themselves. Tarryn manages to put that feeling - the agony and helplessness - into words on paper. This scene forced me to evaluate a darkness I try too hard to hide, and I swear, it changed something inside of me. It made me think, for the first time in my life, that maybe I can beat this thing. That it's a thing worth beating.

I know this isn't what you came to this review for, and I'm sorry for rambling, but I needed to emphasize how much this story touched me. How much I needed it. I adored this book, and I would recommend it to anyone, so long as you're in the right head-space for how heavy the content is. I know this is a polarizing read, but I can't fathom having not loved it. I know I'll be reading more from Tarryn in the future... once my heart heals from this story, that is.

[Amanda (.---.--.-...-) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh man, how do I rate this book?

Was the writing good? Yes.

Did I care for the MCs? No.

Did I think the heroine's "mud vein" made sense? No.

Did I understand why two guys fell in love with the heroine? Hell no.

Did I guess the kidnapper? No.

Did I think that made any sense or reason? Hell no.

Did I care what happened in the end between Isaac and Senna? Fck no.



Sooooo, there you have it. I would recommend this book but only for selfish purposes. I'd want to know if you liked it or if you felt more like me. What can I say? I'm just self-centered like that. I hate that this could have really worked for me but behind the word-porn-writing, the plot and characters just didn't bring any emotion for me to engage and/or care about their story. I felt like I just kept reading at a rapid pace to get to the end. I wanted to know WTF was going on and why. Though, now I think the why was stupid. So, I stayed up late to finish and then I just went to bed. I am pretty sure that that ending was supposed to invoke a response. All I got relief because I finished. Now I'm tired. And at work. There you have it. I couldn't put the shit down but it wasn't for the love. It was for the sheer determination to finish.