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Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well
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Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

4.07  ·  Rating details ·  2,843 ratings  ·  393 reviews
The bestselling authors of the classic Difficult Conversations teach us how to turn evaluations, advice, criticisms, and coaching into productive listening and learning

We swim in an ocean of feedback. Bosses, colleagues, customers—but also family, friends, and in-laws—they all have “suggestions” for our performance, parenting, or appearance. We know that feedback is essent
Hardcover, 348 pages
Published March 4th 2014 by Viking (first published January 1st 2014)
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Mary The main focus is on receiving feedback, but there's quite a bit about giving it as well. It also tells you how to ask for feedback effectively.

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4.07  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,843 ratings  ·  393 reviews

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Dec 22, 2013 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: business people, college students, bloggers
Recommended to Skjam! by: Goodreads
Disclaimer: I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway on the premise that I would review it. Also, the version I read was an Advance Readers’ Copy and some changes may be made in the final version.

We’ve all been there. You go above and beyond busting your butt on the job for a year, but your boss’ evaluation says “meets minimum standards” and no pay raise. Your mother asks for the thousandth time why you can’t be more like your Nobel Prize winning sister who married a brain surgeon and has pr
Oct 09, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: jav, psichologija
Yra krūva visokių straipsnių, kaip pasakyti grįžtamąjį ryšį, į ką susitelkti, kas nėra grįžtamasis ryšys ir pan. Ši knyga ir apie tai, ir ne visai apie tai, nes pagrindinis akcentas - kaip priimti (arba nebūtinai) grįžtamąjį ryšį, ką daryti, jei jis visai neaiškus arba neteisingas, kodėl kartais ir ilgiausi pokalbiai neduoda naudos ir pan. Kažkuria prasme bloga knyga, nes joje parašyta, kad ir pačiam/pačiai reikės keistis, kad būtum išgirstas :D

Beskaitant kažkur link pabaigos kilo minčių, kad vi
Jenny (Reading Envy)
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Anything I quote may have changed in the final version.

This was a very difficult book to read! I am never good at being criticized, and magnify that difficulty by taking everything as criticism. Ha. I'm also in the position of giving feedback to a crew of librarians and can always use ideas for how to do this in the best way!

What I really like about this book is that it examines what the problems are, focusing on the
Jim Serger
Feb 12, 2014 rated it it was amazing
A must read for anyone who interacts with others--that is everyone for that part. Feedback is just that; a statement that we receive in a formal setting or nonchalant. Giving feedback as the two authors state can be rewarding for others as well as you "the giver", or it can be horrific as well, either way. Three takes on that-- helping you, helping themselves/the relationship and helping an origination/team.
The book is filled with information, stories on getting better results from/on feedback-
Mar 03, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: first-reads
Note: I received this book for free through the First Reads program.

Thanks for the Feedback attempts to break down why the feedback we get often seems unfair or invalid, why it is so difficult to receive feedback (hint: the two are related), and presents doing so as a skill that can be improved. The book is well researched and well documented, and the information is interesting and useful, for the most part. I found the following two insights to be the most helpful.

First, the book makes the dist
Bill Morgan
Jul 09, 2014 rated it really liked it
This is a must read for anyone out there seeking to improve in their personal and professional lives.

Feedback is everywhere and knowing that it is a powerful device, equally capable of bringing great benefit or great harm, helps us all navigate in our social and professional spheres.

Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, is a book on the technique behind receiving, analyzing and engaging feedback. Most jobs in the modern world come with yearly (or even more frequent) formal evaluations. Most people receive other forms of feedback everyday, whether it be a criticism of your most recent project at work, tips from a co-worker that may or may not be wanted, or comments and conflicts with friends, romantic partne ...more
Tigran Mamikonian
Jan 28, 2017 added it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Tigran by: Levon
Книгу подарил мне мой хороший друг и коллега юрист по профессии (как раз один из авторов является лектором в Гарвардской Школе юриспруденции). Книгу прочитал в августе 2016 года, но ее анализ и написание ревью заняло у меня чуть меньше полугода… но это того стоило на все 100%.

Тема обратной связи меня всегда интересовала особенно, т.к. частенько ловил себя на мысли, насколько сложно воспринимать мнения окружающих о себе или о чем-либо, где у меня есть уже четкое и устоявшееся мнение. А если это
Inga Pizāne
Sep 28, 2017 rated it really liked it
Vēl vienai vasarā iesāktai grāmatai esmu nokļuvusi līdz aizmugurējam vākam. :) Grāmata ir par atgriezeniskās saites jeb feedback saņemšanu, kurā no visādiem skatupunktiem ir skatīta atgriezeniskā saite un veidi, kā tā var tikt uztverta + sniegti ieteikumi, kā mainīt savus feedback uztveršanas veidus uz konstruktīvākiem - kā būt personībai, kas ieklausās un aug, nevis tikai paliek pie savas taisnības un ar laiku iesūno. Guvu ļoti daudz atziņu, jautājumu, par kuriem padomāt. Plašāk uzrakstīšu blog ...more
May 14, 2014 rated it really liked it
Surprisingly good. I assumed this book would be centered around "feedback" as in something you get from bosses at work (or similar), and while that is mostly the case, this book dives into far more than that tiny niche. This book is really about introspection, relationship building, and making interactions with others more pleasant and effective.

The feedback in question can be applied to any relationship: customer/provider, co-worker, subordinate/superior, and perhaps most importantly the marria
Jacob Fleming
Aug 25, 2018 rated it liked it
I would give this one 3.5 stars; I admit I had high expectations, but ultimately was a bit underwhelmed. There were definitely some good points and concepts, such as consciously separating feedback into appreciation, coaching, or evaluation. As the subtitle implies, this book is all about how to receive feedback, and Stone and Heen make a compelling case for how the receiver is the one who controls the ultimate impact of feedback. However, I felt that their advice on how to effectively and diplo ...more
Mar 15, 2014 rated it really liked it
I dread feedback. I've dreaded it all my professional life. After reading the book I believe I had really bad experiences with feedback, both parts a culprits of it, but this book is great with helping with that.
It helped me put a name and understanding what is going on.
It thought me that I can not control how the feedback in given but I can control how to take it and get something out of it either things to improve or just experience on getting to know me better and the reasons I'm a certain wa
Feb 12, 2014 rated it it was amazing
I won this book through goodreads.Since we all give and receive advice,this book is a must read,if you are interested in being an effective communicator.I would especially recommend this book to supervisors,and also to men having difficulty communicating in a marriage.I found the text interesting,and motivating for my personal improvement.Like anything in life,we need to accept more responsibility for our communication with others.The first step toward better communication is to read this book.
Sean McQuay
Feb 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Easily one of the best self-help books I've read. Lots of variety in examples, somehow all of them applicable with imagination. Helpful, concrete points that are explored in nuance instead of being "beaten to death."
Jan 01, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I'm SO glad I started the year with this book, because its effect and its teachings are extremely valuable and they're also a perfect fit for this stage of my life.

"Thanks for the feedback" is a dense book, but its clear structure and helpful examples make it worth reading. The insights on how to receive and deliver feedback in a way that is helpful, meaningful and constructive have changed the way I look at feedback conversations (and most conversations too, even if they're not specifically re
Sarah Novak
Mar 06, 2014 rated it really liked it
"Thanks for the Feedback" is pretty skimpy with the science, but I found it to be an incredibly practical guide to improve feedback-type conversations. The authors define this scenario broadly -- everything from employees' annual reviews to nagging your significant other. They are communications/negotiations experts and do a great job providing examples of the many different types of feedback and strategies. Most of the material is geared around learning to receive feedback better, but you'll le ...more
May 05, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This is one of the most important books I've read in the last few years. There are so many books and articles out there about how to give good feedback, but this is the first book I've read that focuses on the receiving end. My biggest takeaway is that in any feedback situation, it's important to throw defensiveness to the curb, listen for the deeper story, and ask questions until you attain the tidbit you can use to learn and grow as a person. Feedback from anyone, whether you expected it or no ...more
Edwin Dalorzo
Oct 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A very useful compendium of advice and good ideas on the difficult task of receiving feedback. The book is very well written. It gradually builds on sound and sensible arguments and stupendous suggestions on how to make the best out of the feedback others give us all the time. This book is not just about the feedback we receive at work, but also about the countless feedback interactions we have every day with family, friends, acquaintances, customers, etc. From the pages of this book, we learn a ...more
Jan 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Could read this book several times and earn something new each time. Love that it focuses on the often overlooked skill of how to ask for and receive feedback - even when that feedback may be poorly delivered. This book will be helpful to anyone interested in improving the quality of their relations whether at school, work or at home. The book is a bit longer than it needs to be but is packed with really useful insights and practical examples. Highly recommended!
Antoinette Perez
A couple of great concepts early, and then a lot of stuff that feels like it's floating and unable to be caught, pinned down, and used. Feedback has been a bit of an obsession for a few years and this is a good addition to the library.
Chantal Jandard
Mar 17, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I was skeptical, but so glad I gave this book a try. Solid advice for working with others and self-growth, in the context of both professional and personal life. The authors explain the methods extremely well and support their statements with cited research. Everyone should give this a read.
Mar 24, 2018 rated it liked it
Highly useful, practical, full of explicit explanations why and how to take feedback better, yearn for it more, and change company culture.
It includes a humorous variety of rare names as the protagonists of the example stories which probably was meant to lesser the chance of someone recognizing themselves in these situations, but hinders reading, because it diverts thoughts to the effort they paid to find such names, instead of just being a bunch of random ones.
The style is abrupt and design w
Stijn Zanders
Feb 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Really loved the concrete examples that the authors give, there are many fake conversations by which they show their theory in action. If you want to improve yourself understanding how to receive feedback is important and this is the book just for that!
Apr 29, 2018 rated it it was amazing
One of the best "business" books I've read. A ton of actionable ideas, written in a clear and easy to digest way. There is also a lot in here that can help with personal relationships as well. This book and nonviolent communication are two must reads.
Sep 29, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Excellent book that promotes self-reflection and has helped me take feedback better. End of chapter summaries were also super helpful.
Erika RS
Jun 10, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: kindle, leadership, owned
This book takes a different perspective than most books on feedback and tries to help the reader get better at taking feedback rather than giving it. This was valuable to me in two ways. First, I am terrible at taking feedback, and this book helped me see ways I could improve and understand the patterns that make feedback hard for me (my tendency is to take feedback too seriously and become discouraged by my lack of competence at anything ever). Second, although the authors are mainly concerned ...more
Mar 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I struggled between giving this 4 stars vs. 5 stars. It's not at the level of other 5 star books, the likes of Quiet, The Power of Habit, Mindset, etc. But, at the same time, it was one of the most practical and universally applicable book I've read in a long time, and I would recommend it to anyone who would listen. Hence the 5 stars.
Apr 04, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Fantastic book about receiving feedback, which we can do in any situation. Reviews useful tips when receiving feedback from colleagues, partners, friends, family, or anyone and what can potentially get in the way. Would recommend to anyone who seeks to improve himself/herself and who is open to learning.
Mar 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
I got this book through work and it was so interesting to read, and has opened my eyes to one of the most important parts of progress! 💗
Feb 12, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
I received a copy of Thanks for the Feedback from Goodreads First Reads.

This book is a true game-changer. I feel like the advice that Stone and Heen give in Thanks for the Feedback are very useful and practical, and I know there are way too many of us who need to learn how to give and receive feedback in a better way. It’s like I keep doing the same thing everyday and never realize that it could be better, and this book gives me concrete advice on how I can better myself – and, in turn, better o
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The Magic 40 2 7 Jul 29, 2015 03:54PM  
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“It doesn’t matter how much authority or power a feedback giver has; the receivers are in control of what they do and don’t let in, how they make sense of what they’re hearing, and whether they choose to change. Pushing harder rarely opens the door to genuine learning. The focus should not be on teaching feedback givers to give. The focus—at work and at home—should be on feedback receivers, helping us all to become more skillful learners. The real leverage is creating pull. Creating pull is about mastering the skills required to drive our own learning; it’s about how to recognize and manage our resistance, how to engage in feedback conversations with confidence and curiosity, and even when the feedback seems wrong, how to find insight that might help us grow. It’s also about how to stand up for who we are and how we see the world, and ask for what we need. It’s about how to learn from feedback—yes, even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered, and frankly, you’re not in the mood.” 4 likes
“Before you tell me how to do it better, before you lay out your big plans for changing, fixing, and improving me, before you teach me how to pick myself up and dust myself off so that I can be shiny and successful—know this: I’ve heard it before. I’ve been graded, rated, and ranked. Coached, screened, and scored. I’ve been picked first, picked last, and not picked at all. And that was just kindergarten.” 3 likes
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