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Thick as Thieves

(Thick as Thieves #1)

3.76  ·  Rating details ·  756 ratings  ·  189 reviews
After Vorgell the barbarian fucks himself with a unicorn horn, he ends up in a cell with Maddog, a pretty young thief. It’s lust at first sight for Vorgell—but honestly, he can’t help it. Unicorn horn is a potent aphrodisiac, and now he can’t stop thinking about sex. Luckily, Madd is one male witch who knows how to put Vorgell’s new magical body to good use when he tricks ...more
ebook, 200 pages
Published July 8th 2013 by Dreamspinner Press (first published July 7th 2013)
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3.76  · 
Rating details
 ·  756 ratings  ·  189 reviews

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Jul 09, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: My story lovers with a magical sense of imagination; Equal Opportunity Unicorn Lovers
Recommended to SheReadsALot by: Susan A
First thought prior to reading: The MC fucks himself with a unicorn horn? For real?


I need to read this!

I'm DOWN!!

Did I become unconscious, rename myself Tali Spencer while being unconscious and write a book? Because a main character FUCKING HIMSELF with a UNICORN HORN sounds like the BEST OPENING LINE TO A JOKE or an awesome PWP EVER!

This book had me written all over it! (No, the pic below is not me but I had to represent #unicornrealness)

After Reading: Before you think this book is a one
Julio Genao
Jul 13, 2013 rated it liked it
Recommended to Julio by: Mandapanda


i was disappointed when the pratchettish whimsy of what was a wildly fun and sexy opening settled down into a typically chatty, introspective MM read—but not for long.

the action picked up again, things (mostly) made sense, and while the sex went *poof* after a while, a motherfucking (view spoiler) went a fair ways towards mollifying any disgruntlement i may have felt that my barbarian
Shin Mon Thway
I owe everything to Cupcake for finding this book and reading it. Her ”unicorn porn” comment made me gallop to Amazon page and purchase it right away and I’m so glad that I did. 😂 I love this book sooooo much. ❤ This is a total package, it’s funny, witty, sexy and has a good amount of angst and darkness. I love it. 😍👏

So the blurb explains most of it. Vorgell the barbarian accidentally killed a unicorn, ate the flesh and fucked himself on the unicorn horn. 😁 It’s a very powerful aphrodisiac and
Jun 30, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: various-romance
4.5 stars. Totally loved this story. When I first saw the blurb at DSP I thought it was ridiculous but it kept catching my eye every time I checked the upcoming releases. So glad I bought it. It's tightly paced, laugh out loud funny and Vorgell would have to be the most appealing hero I've read in a while. I picture him as a rowdy, naive and slightly lonely Viking-type with a big heart. After accidentally turning himself into a magical version of sex-on-a-stick he escapes a dungeon with the aid ...more
Optimist ♰King's Wench♰
Sep 17, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Recommended to Optimist ♰King's Wench♰ by: SheReadsALot
CANDYLAND THUNDERDOME got christened right!

Back in the day when Baby was insisting I read this I read the blurb. Read the blurb. Go on. I'll wait. The dude, and I quote, "fucks himself with a unicorn horn". Now I ask you, wouldn't you automatically think this was going to be PWP? I did. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against PWP. I'm just saying my expectations weren't all that high. Well, I'm happy to be proven wrong in the inaugural CANDYLAND THUNDERDOME.

Smooches, Baby.

So this barbarian,
Nick Pageant
May 22, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: m-m, scifi-fantasy
Five Stars For All Around Awesomeness!

Now this is how you handle a unicorn horn! Vorgell the barbarian has a magically enhanced libido thanks to, discreetly off page, doing what comes naturally with a unicorn horn. He is thrown into a dungeon where he meets up with a sexy little witch named Maddog.

Vorgell and Maddog are the perfect pair. Vorgell has an unending supply of stiffies, and Maddog needs Vorgell's magical jizz to perform his spells. The two set off on a quest to free Maddog of a love c
4 Unicorn Stars for a cheeky, cute and very entertaining fantasy tale

 photo unicorn9_zpsb41039d5.gif  photo unicorn9_zpsb41039d5.gif  photo unicorn9_zpsb41039d5.gif  photo unicorn9_zpsb41039d5.gif

I will not even try to fully describe the plot of this quirky fantasy novel. Instead read the book's blurb so you get an idea of how screwed this story is. To even get the basic idea for this story is so clever. Well done, Ms Spencer!

The start of it all is that the huge guy Vorgell was hungry and caught a unicorn to eat. What he didn't understand is that unicorns should you always be extra careful with. They are magical
Chelsea (chelseadolling reads)
Mar 29, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: queer
This was fine! Not my favorite book we’ve read for the smutty book club, but I’m not mad at it. My main complaint is that there wasn’t as much sexy-times as I assumed there would be from the synopsis, so if you’re someone who wants more world building than sexy-times, this could be the smut for you!
Mandy*reads obsessively*
I have to say, I read the blurb to this book and thought it would be a humorous light-hearted adventure set in a fantasy/Au world.

This was so much more, and a lot darker and dealing with more serious issues than I had anticipated.

It's set in a world where male witches are looked down on, it's very much a matriarchal society.
There are also wizards, they are bad, bad news.
Madd grew up in this world, never feeling wanted or loved, always looked down on and persecuted. Scraping and thieving and doi
First, a few caveats. Yes, this story does have unicorn horn as an aphrodisiac, an extremely horny barbarian who unwittingly *ahem* avails himself of the unicorn horn, and a sexy witchkin and thief who uses said barbarian’s enchanted jizz as potent magic, but wait…there’s more!

Oh, there is so much more to this delightful story. This story could have been campy and PWP, but it isn’t. This story has heart, and is by turns funny, dark, sexy, sinister, sweet, and action-packed. This story has depth
Oct 19, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fantasy, m-m

This is quite the buddy book, the barbarian and the thief. It's a lot darker than I was expecting and the world building stellar.

How Vorgell ends up fucking himself on a unicorn's horn is wickedly clever as are the after effects. Getting thrown in a dungeon and meeting Maddog the thief is a the luckiest break he's ever had. Madd has his own...issues. Such a grim story and how the male witches work their magic, I found that incredibly original.

I love fantasy novels. I love the magic and the


Back to my indoor voice - Thank you so much to Tali Spencer for offering up her book with the ballsiest blurb ever and to Cole Riann and the Armchair Reader for hosting Tali's guest post! I wouldn't say "no" to a tiara to go along with my big win, but I am completely appreciative as is ;).


So, now, I finished reading this book today and Oh My God, what fun!

The thing I liked most about this one was it didn't take itself too seriously, but
Kaje Harper
Oct 20, 2013 rated it really liked it
This book is a romp, but with a dark undertone. Vorgell, the horny (literally after that unicorn-horn episode) barbarian with the heart of gold and the cock of iron, rescues Maddog the witch from a prison cell, and assumes responsibility for him like some ancient Chinese curse. Maddog has a slave collar on his neck, and until he rids himself of it, he is tied to the nobleman who raped, tortured and enslaved him. He's also at risk from the wizards who are the nobleman's allies, and who hunt witch ...more
Crazy, zany, wacky, kooky...and so much FUN! Awesome world building with information shared naturally and not through an encyclopedia entry. Consistent characterization, Vorgell and Madd both acted like you'd expect them to in different situations. We were shown who they were through their actions and I loved it.

Small, creative details like berries from unicorn blood and "icy walls of magic" and magical moss...brilliant! It wasn't all fun and games, though. There were some darker, scary parts t
Feb 04, 2014 marked it as perhaps
Recommended to Kat by: Crispy
After Vorgell the barbarian fucks himself with a unicorn horn...

I think I kind of lost track of the blurb after that first sentence. 0_o
After reading the very first line of the blurb, I knew I had to read this book. If you haven’t read it yet, here’s why:

After Vorgell the barbarian fucks himself with a unicorn horn, he ends up in a cell with Maddog, a pretty young thief.

If that right there isn’t the hook that’s grabbed you, I don’t know what is. It promises a unicorn horn dildo, a barbarian, and a thief. What else could you possibly ask from a fantasy m/m story? Witches and Wizards? It has those too. Creative place names and adv
Jul 08, 2013 rated it really liked it
Recommended to Shannon by: Jason Bradley
Shelves: aa-recommend
Well that was some adventure. Who knew fucking yourself with a unicorn horn would give you magical sperm? I did not know this. I really enjoyed the entire ride these two took us on. Magic, witches, wizzards, good times.
Smith Barney
Best f'ing x-rated fairy tale ever. Imaginative..sweetly amusing story. Sexy submissive f'ing barbarian just wanted a good pounding. So sweet and filthy..just loved him. Great f'ing character. Great f'ing writing..and pretty f'ing seamless to the end.
Nikyta *Miss Forgetful*
This review can be found at The Blog of Sid Love.

When I read the blurb for this book, I knew right away it had the potential to be a wild ride. Any author that has the balls to have such an attention grabber for the start of a blurb was something that I wanted to read and I’m happy to say this book lived up to my expectations and more.

The story revolves around Vorgell, a brute of a man who unwittingly kills a unicorn, eats some berries and then becomes so horny he fucks himself with the unicorn’
4.3 Stars

Well, considering I don't much "like" the Fantasy genre, I sure have been reading a lot of it lately. And loving it!

I say it all the time, but I am truly grateful for some of the challenges in which I'm participating; often enough in the recent past it seems the books I "have to" read turn out to be mediocre (at best)...but lately that trend has been for books so good that I'd be happy to read them again! This is one of those books. In fact, I would love it if there was an audio versio
I had to put this book down to give myself some time to adjust my expectations at least twice, in order to not end up with a whiny review that boiled down to 'but it wasn't what I expected!'

What this book is is a fantasy story, that turns fairly dark at some point, with a lot of sex magic elements. More than romance, it's the sex magic that drives the story, although I have a feeling the author is setting up for a sequel in which debts will be called in and 'I love you's will be exchanged. Don't
Jul 10, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantasy
Humorous moments with some very dark edges.

I’m having a hard time reviewing this one. On one hand we have a story that employs a substantial amount of sex magic and silliness, which basically makes it porn-with-plot. On the other hand, we have a fantasy story with some pretty good bones, although I didn’t care for its lackluster execution. We’ve got a very likable hero in the barbarian Vorgell and then we have the far less likable witch, but nonetheless hero, Madd. Throw in evil man-hating witc
3.5 stars This is a light, fun, and silly read and I did enjoyed it. Although I have to admit I was surprised when I realized I couldn't quite give it 4 stars since I had seen so many 4 and 5 star reviews and expected to love it just as much. The premise is silly and outrageous and it basks in that, but given the ridiculousness of a barbarian who fucks himself with a Unicorn horn and therefor has magic sperm... I didn't laugh out loud as I expected to.

It was also quite dark in some ways but did
Another SUPER fun book for this week. I LOVED this story. Vorgell the Barbarian, caught and ate a unicorn ignorant to the fact that ingesting their flesh caused uncontrollable...HORNINESS...Out of desperation he resorts to pleasuring himself with the poor unicorn's horn, and ended up in a Baron's dungeon...Imprisoned, and with his sexual revenous state far from abating. That's where he met up with the prettiest little witch he'd ever seen. Madd was in the dungeon after the Baron got tired of usi ...more
K.J. Charles
Jul 16, 2014 added it
Shelves: fantasy, m-m
Obviously the blurb is appalling. Just take that as read. The author goes for the concept with impressive commitment and no apology. I applaud.

I'm torn on this. The characters are absolutely lovely. Great, fun relationship, very touching, lots of fun back and forth, great sex. The fantasy is nicely developed with a good magic system and lots of incidental elements making a really well built world. The m/m trope of 'women behave like hateful witches to gay men' is basically blown up to 4000 poin
Dec 05, 2013 rated it really liked it
3.5 stars. I'd probably give this a Four-Minus if we had plus and minus grades like in elementary school. As it is, I'm going with a 3.5, rounded to 4 for Goodreads.

My reasons, in bullet points:
- The beginning was meh for me, but I warmed up to it by about 15-20%.
- Vorgell the narrator is awesome, which is kind of amazing for me to think after ugh-ing about him at 5%.
- For all that the beginning set me up for PWP, the story itself was actually pretty involved and well-fleshed out.
- Vorgell and M
Jul 15, 2013 rated it really liked it
This is fun and cheeky but also dire things happen and our heroes really have to fight for their lives. And not just once. The tangled politics, the greedy lust of Barons and Wizards and the prejudice against witchkins mean that Madd's life has been harsh. And Vogell's arrival causes more disaster. But also some good.

There was lots here, and it's absorbing and fun.
Aug 16, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: fantasy

I'm really in luck with my books at the moment. Thick as Thieves is another winner - a great story, awesome characters, funny, serious, and unique. I was impressed!

When I started this book, I expected a funny story, maybe a little bit on the ridiculous side given the blurb, and pretty porny (wait, a main character is sex-crazed because he ate love berries and subsequently fucked himself with a unicorn horn? WHAT??). And the start was exactly that: hilarious (!!!), ridiculous, and, well, very
Britta ★ Nachteule ★

Now this was a great fairytale with unicorns, witches, wizards, basilisks and warriors.

The world building was impressive and the characters were well discribed.

It had everything from funny moments over action to feels.

I just have one tiny complain. You could Vorgell literally see falling for Madd. But with Madd I'm not sure if he feels the same for Vorgell. I guess with his history it's understandable that he is wary of letting other people come too close but for the romance I would have wished
Shira Anthony
Lush, full of wonderful descriptions, and sexy as all get-out, you can feel, smell, and taste the worlds Tali Spencer creates. Thick as Thieves is no exception. I was fortunate enough to beta read this amazing book, and I fell in love with this seemingly mismatched pair of men.

There's Vorgell, built like an ox and admittedly not the sharpest knife in the drawer (I mean, really, fucking yourself with a Unicorn horn???). But I loved Vorgell's kind heart and good intentions. Then there's Madd, the
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Dreamspinner Press: Thick as Thieves by Tali Spencer 1 13 Jul 08, 2013 02:05PM  
  • Broken Phoenix
  • Servitude
  • Reawakening (Reawakening, #1)
  • Treasure
  • A King's Ransom
  • Dragon Slayer (The Empty Crown #1)
  • Stolen Hearts (Stolen Hearts, #1)
  • Inheritance (Dominion #1)
  • To the Other Side (Terra, #1)
  • Human Choices (Guardians of the Leythe, #2)
  • The Adorned
  • The Dream of a Thousand Nights
  • El Presidio Rides North
  • The Fifth Son
  • Boots for the Gentleman (Steamcraft and Sorcery, #1)
  • Goblins, Book One
  • Consorting With Dragons
  • Interlude with Tattoos (A Charm of Magpies, #1.5)
I am fascinated by swords, mythology, and everything ancient and magical. Sword and sandals? I'm in! But I also love bodice-rippers, Regency romances, magical realism, pulpy detective stories, cozy mysteries, and South American literature.

Though I grew up as a bit of a nomad, I currently live in Pennsylvania with my husband and travel whenever I can. Every destination yields a story or three.


Other books in the series

Thick as Thieves (2 books)
  • Thick as Ice (Thick as Thieves, #2)
“-I suck cock because I like cock. I like getting my cock sucked and I really--yes, really--like sucking the cocks of other men! And you know what I like the best of all? I like sticking my cock up some other man's ass!” 3 likes
“We don’t escape our pasts, you know,” Madd said. He sounded defeated. “Never. We can never escape what we are.”

“Maybe not. But I think we can escape what other people try to make of us. We can decide our fate for ourselves.”
More quotes…