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The n-Body Problem
In the end, the zombie apocalypse was nothing more than a waste disposal problem. Burn them in giant ovens? Bad optics. Bury them in landfill sites? The first attempt created acres of twitching, roiling mud. The acceptable answer is to jettison the millions of immortal automatons into orbit.
200 pages, Paperback
First published October 15, 2013
8 people are currently reading
876 people want to read
About the author
Tony Burgess
35 books107 followersTony Burgess is a Canadian novelist and screenwriter. His most notable works include the 1998 novel Pontypool Changes Everything and the screenplay for the film adaptation of that same novel, "Pontypool" (2008).
Burgess’ unique style of writing has been called literary horror fiction and described as ”blended ultra-violent horror and absurdist humour, inflicting nightmarish narratives on the quirky citizens of small-town Ontario: think H. P. Lovecraft meets Stephen Leacock.
Burgess’ unique style of writing has been called literary horror fiction and described as ”blended ultra-violent horror and absurdist humour, inflicting nightmarish narratives on the quirky citizens of small-town Ontario: think H. P. Lovecraft meets Stephen Leacock.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
September 27, 2018
you can't handle this book.
i was going to leave it at that, because it sums up my experience with the book ezzactly, but it's not really fair to the gods of netgalley or to my beloved czp, so i suppose i can dig deep into my overtaxed brain and find another sentence or two.
the fact remains - you can't handle this book. and i'm not making a character judgment; you're fine the way you are, it's just that tony burgess is… how do i put this politely?? a maniac?? and also what i called him on this review. i'm not proud of it. but he is. three of the four books i have read of his are splattery nightmare fodder, full of people reduced to bloody clumps and bits and pieces with all this chilling psychosexual icing.
this time, he has outdone himself.
the thing is, reading my review, you might already be writing him off as some shock-value kind of hack who writes these disposable books that are just paint-by-numbers-with-blood teen-boy violent cathartic rage-fantasies. but they're more insidious than that, because burgess, god love him, can write. and he gets into your brain with his little ragged nails and you cannot look away, and you can't help but be affected by his books.
i've read my share of splatter-lit. some of them are pretty bad (which i can't believe got three stars out of me - i must have been more generous then), but when it's done right, it stands out, and as much as it might be uncomfortable to admit, it can be wondrously entertaining. and burgess always does it right.
this one just takes it about two steps too far into squeamish-territory. for you, i mean. and nearly for me, too, but there was just something about it that kept me reading, as the situation got worse and weirder and more…diseased. it is not the gentle zombies-orbiting-our-planet story it purports to be. oh, no. that is just to suck you in. what it really is is a stew of every horrific thing you can ever imagine with your little brain: all your fears and most tortured imaginings, posing as a piece of entertainment. ta-DAAA!! and you're fucked.
and maybe i am underestimating you, and you can, in fact, handle this.
feel free to come back and tell me how wrong i was about you, tough guy.
come to my blog!
i was going to leave it at that, because it sums up my experience with the book ezzactly, but it's not really fair to the gods of netgalley or to my beloved czp, so i suppose i can dig deep into my overtaxed brain and find another sentence or two.
the fact remains - you can't handle this book. and i'm not making a character judgment; you're fine the way you are, it's just that tony burgess is… how do i put this politely?? a maniac?? and also what i called him on this review. i'm not proud of it. but he is. three of the four books i have read of his are splattery nightmare fodder, full of people reduced to bloody clumps and bits and pieces with all this chilling psychosexual icing.
this time, he has outdone himself.
the thing is, reading my review, you might already be writing him off as some shock-value kind of hack who writes these disposable books that are just paint-by-numbers-with-blood teen-boy violent cathartic rage-fantasies. but they're more insidious than that, because burgess, god love him, can write. and he gets into your brain with his little ragged nails and you cannot look away, and you can't help but be affected by his books.
i've read my share of splatter-lit. some of them are pretty bad (which i can't believe got three stars out of me - i must have been more generous then), but when it's done right, it stands out, and as much as it might be uncomfortable to admit, it can be wondrously entertaining. and burgess always does it right.
this one just takes it about two steps too far into squeamish-territory. for you, i mean. and nearly for me, too, but there was just something about it that kept me reading, as the situation got worse and weirder and more…diseased. it is not the gentle zombies-orbiting-our-planet story it purports to be. oh, no. that is just to suck you in. what it really is is a stew of every horrific thing you can ever imagine with your little brain: all your fears and most tortured imaginings, posing as a piece of entertainment. ta-DAAA!! and you're fucked.
and maybe i am underestimating you, and you can, in fact, handle this.
feel free to come back and tell me how wrong i was about you, tough guy.
come to my blog!
November 20, 2013
Even though this is my first Tony Burgess read, I'm not exactly a Burgess virgin. He's a bit of a cult figure in Canada, thanks largely in part to the iconic zombie flick Pontypool, based on his novel Pontypool Changes Everything. Confession time: I've seen the movie (it's brilliant), but I never got around to reading Burgess's book. Or anything else by him either. Until now.
Sweet Jebus. I was dimly aware of his reputation as a gore master, a mad splatter genius who frequently pushes boundaries of decency and sanity every chance he gets. It's a reputation well-deserved. Reminiscent of another iconic Canadian's early work -- David Cronenberg -- Burgess delves into body horror in such a way to disarm the reader and distress the shit out of you.
It's not a mere gross out that's easily dismissed as senseless pulp either, but an exercise in relentless brutality that leaves you mentally and emotionally floundering. In a lot of ways, reading The n-Body Problem reminded me of Kafka's The Metamorphosis because I was left feeling similarly shuddering and sad.
This isn't a book I would easily recommend. It's Grade A disturbing, and very much not nice. I repeat: This is not a nice book. It doesn't want to hold your hand, or stroke your hair. Or make you laugh and feel better about life's absurdities. It wants to show you something very dark and nasty, about humans, about death, about our fear of death and extinction. Approach with caution -- and a very strong stomach.
February 7, 2019
This is the dead Disney princess of literature.
What would happen if you mixed heavy metal with a cancer ward, turning the world into sad walking zombies that aren't particularly dangerous... just disgusting, roving, mounds of sex... and then decide that the only way to take care of the hoards is to shoot them into near-Earth orbit.
It absolutely has great writing, but NOTHING about this is easy, comfortable, or particularly sane. Depressing? Yes, as can be foretold by the pages-worth of antidepressants, cancer meds, and survival in a world made up of unbreakable corpses dumped in troves of quivering, licking mounds.
What was most disgusting? Just about all the sex references. There's nothing sexy about it. The imagery is some of the most horrible I've ever read. Evocative, powerful, horrible, but not GOOD.
I am the devil's stomach.
Hell, every time I think it can't get more horrible, it proves me wrong. And wrong again. It's a mosh pit of corrosion and carved maggots.
But honestly? It's so bad it's freaking wonderful. Hardcore spatterpunk and body-horror doesn't begin to describe it. It goes deeper than anything on this surface. :)
NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.
What would happen if you mixed heavy metal with a cancer ward, turning the world into sad walking zombies that aren't particularly dangerous... just disgusting, roving, mounds of sex... and then decide that the only way to take care of the hoards is to shoot them into near-Earth orbit.
It absolutely has great writing, but NOTHING about this is easy, comfortable, or particularly sane. Depressing? Yes, as can be foretold by the pages-worth of antidepressants, cancer meds, and survival in a world made up of unbreakable corpses dumped in troves of quivering, licking mounds.
What was most disgusting? Just about all the sex references. There's nothing sexy about it. The imagery is some of the most horrible I've ever read. Evocative, powerful, horrible, but not GOOD.
I am the devil's stomach.
Hell, every time I think it can't get more horrible, it proves me wrong. And wrong again. It's a mosh pit of corrosion and carved maggots.
But honestly? It's so bad it's freaking wonderful. Hardcore spatterpunk and body-horror doesn't begin to describe it. It goes deeper than anything on this surface. :)
NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.
February 11, 2014
Thinking..
Please wait
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Okay. Now that I've had some time to process, I'm going to try and review this thing. The way I see it, there are two kinds of people who are going to be reading this.
For People Who Are New To Tony Burgess
This book is probably not for you, at least not just yet. Start with Pontypool Changes Everything, fall in love with Burgess, read a couple of his other books maybe, THEN approach this book. Otherwise, I think you run the risk of assuming that he is writing straight shock-value bizarro here. You may miss Burgess' trademark "your-brain-after-a-stroke" descriptions, and dismiss them as pure stream-of-consciousness babble, rather than the incredible pieces of psychological and neurological insight that they are. Come back when you can fully appreciate this book.
Possible exceptions might include people who particularly enjoyed Scorch Atlas, Zone One and the works of J.G. Ballard. And people with a neurological condition or who have had a stroke. I myself have a neuropathic pain condition, centred on the nerves in my face. I've babbled to myself while hallucinating from pain and sleep-deprivation in hospital waiting rooms and I've been unable to communicate the experience. Because it doesn't make sense by any logical standard. How do you describe synaesthesia? How do you repeat what a broken brain is trying to say? Burgess says it like this:
Stroke. I don't know much. Strokes do damage. I press in and try to hold on. The pain pushes down. I can't swallow. There is one line, jagged and falling like a graph, a charted downturn. It's black with a red ghost line. This is the dominant. It denies contiguity. The world above it is charged with pain and light. It is a stylus. Below the world is cold. Pain free. I am not in this half. I have to be..
For People Who Are Familiar With Tony Burgess
If you're familiar with Burgess' writing, I hardly need to sell you on it. It'll be like slipping into a nice warm tub of regurgitated chicken soup, or something equally as comforting and icky at the same time. All the major elements are there:
*Unique Premise - Human beings are on the verge of wiping themselves out. Firstly there are all the living dead people orbiting earth and clogging up the atmosphere. Secondly, there's all the dead people on the streets, wriggling about & generally making a mess. Thirdly, there's "syndrome" - a sped-up version of the recent increases in cancers and other modern-age ailments & cures. In five minutes time, you could have terminal thyroid cancer, for example.
*Wonderful Writing - Burgess is still finding new literary tricks, and without giving any spoilers, the last few pages will take your breath away.
*Bizarre and Disgusting Scenes - Again, without spoiling anything, just be warned that this book is not for the faint of stomach. The villain of the piece, for example, likes to kill people en masse in ever-more spectacular ways, "playing with" the living dead folk he creates afterward - and nothing is off-limits.
If I had one complaint, and I really don't, it would be that this is perhaps more of a "pulp fiction" piece than Burgess' other novels. The main character is a bounty hunter, hired to kill the aforementioned villain. For the first half of the book at least, the plot revolves around the chase as a race-against-time while the main character's own body rebels against him. If you're not paying close attention the gore can seem gratuitous, overshadowing some of the more subtle literary devices, as well as some of the more interesting parts of the backstory. As a bit of a sci-fi nerd, I think I'd have liked Burgess to explore the idea of "syndrome" in particular, a bit more thoroughly. These are fairly minor quibbles though, and the last chapter banished any concerns I may have had about the trashiness of this novel.
Please wait
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Okay. Now that I've had some time to process, I'm going to try and review this thing. The way I see it, there are two kinds of people who are going to be reading this.
For People Who Are New To Tony Burgess
This book is probably not for you, at least not just yet. Start with Pontypool Changes Everything, fall in love with Burgess, read a couple of his other books maybe, THEN approach this book. Otherwise, I think you run the risk of assuming that he is writing straight shock-value bizarro here. You may miss Burgess' trademark "your-brain-after-a-stroke" descriptions, and dismiss them as pure stream-of-consciousness babble, rather than the incredible pieces of psychological and neurological insight that they are. Come back when you can fully appreciate this book.
Possible exceptions might include people who particularly enjoyed Scorch Atlas, Zone One and the works of J.G. Ballard. And people with a neurological condition or who have had a stroke. I myself have a neuropathic pain condition, centred on the nerves in my face. I've babbled to myself while hallucinating from pain and sleep-deprivation in hospital waiting rooms and I've been unable to communicate the experience. Because it doesn't make sense by any logical standard. How do you describe synaesthesia? How do you repeat what a broken brain is trying to say? Burgess says it like this:
Stroke. I don't know much. Strokes do damage. I press in and try to hold on. The pain pushes down. I can't swallow. There is one line, jagged and falling like a graph, a charted downturn. It's black with a red ghost line. This is the dominant. It denies contiguity. The world above it is charged with pain and light. It is a stylus. Below the world is cold. Pain free. I am not in this half. I have to be..
For People Who Are Familiar With Tony Burgess
If you're familiar with Burgess' writing, I hardly need to sell you on it. It'll be like slipping into a nice warm tub of regurgitated chicken soup, or something equally as comforting and icky at the same time. All the major elements are there:
*Unique Premise - Human beings are on the verge of wiping themselves out. Firstly there are all the living dead people orbiting earth and clogging up the atmosphere. Secondly, there's all the dead people on the streets, wriggling about & generally making a mess. Thirdly, there's "syndrome" - a sped-up version of the recent increases in cancers and other modern-age ailments & cures. In five minutes time, you could have terminal thyroid cancer, for example.
*Wonderful Writing - Burgess is still finding new literary tricks, and without giving any spoilers, the last few pages will take your breath away.
*Bizarre and Disgusting Scenes - Again, without spoiling anything, just be warned that this book is not for the faint of stomach. The villain of the piece, for example, likes to kill people en masse in ever-more spectacular ways, "playing with" the living dead folk he creates afterward - and nothing is off-limits.
If I had one complaint, and I really don't, it would be that this is perhaps more of a "pulp fiction" piece than Burgess' other novels. The main character is a bounty hunter, hired to kill the aforementioned villain. For the first half of the book at least, the plot revolves around the chase as a race-against-time while the main character's own body rebels against him. If you're not paying close attention the gore can seem gratuitous, overshadowing some of the more subtle literary devices, as well as some of the more interesting parts of the backstory. As a bit of a sci-fi nerd, I think I'd have liked Burgess to explore the idea of "syndrome" in particular, a bit more thoroughly. These are fairly minor quibbles though, and the last chapter banished any concerns I may have had about the trashiness of this novel.
January 25, 2024
Pioché totalement au hasard dans le rayon imaginaire de la médiathèque je ne savais pas du tout à quoi m'attendre.
En parcourant brièvement le résumé je vois un livre dystopique ou la gestion des déchets (des corps morts) posent problème et sont envoyés en orbite autour de la terre. Deux personnages principaux qui se haïssent et entrent dans une sorte de course poursuite l'un contre l'autre.
Bah arrêtez vous là, car c'est 1) dégueulasse 2) dur à lire tellement c'est épars 3) amoral sans but ni raison. Ajoutez à cela de Nombreuses scènes de sexes nécrophiles.
Le roman fait 160 pages donc on attend au fil des pages une explication à tout ce bordel, on essaie de s'auto-convaincre que ça peut pas être pire. Puis on réalise qu'on se fourvoie, que ça ne s'améliorera jamais et il est déjà trop tard pour abandonner la lecture. Donc on le termine en se promettant de ne plus jamais se faire couillonner.
En parcourant brièvement le résumé je vois un livre dystopique ou la gestion des déchets (des corps morts) posent problème et sont envoyés en orbite autour de la terre. Deux personnages principaux qui se haïssent et entrent dans une sorte de course poursuite l'un contre l'autre.
Bah arrêtez vous là, car c'est 1) dégueulasse 2) dur à lire tellement c'est épars 3) amoral sans but ni raison. Ajoutez à cela de Nombreuses scènes de sexes nécrophiles.
Le roman fait 160 pages donc on attend au fil des pages une explication à tout ce bordel, on essaie de s'auto-convaincre que ça peut pas être pire. Puis on réalise qu'on se fourvoie, que ça ne s'améliorera jamais et il est déjà trop tard pour abandonner la lecture. Donc on le termine en se promettant de ne plus jamais se faire couillonner.
April 30, 2019
excuse me but what the fuck
January 20, 2014
Full disclosure I received an electronic copy of this book to review from NetGalley.
This is one of those books where I kept waiting for it to get better but by the time I was willing to concede that wasn't going to happen I was too close to the end to stop. I was initially intrigued by the plot summary because it mentioned zombies and sounded as if it might have a fresh perspective on the genre. My guess now is that the summary was written by someone at the publisher who couldn't find any great plot points to hook the reader with and tried to figure out a way to make it seem more interesting than it was.
Readers should be aware that although the term 'zombie' does apply here the zombies are not like the flesh craving monsters of The Walking Dead or other stories. Instead they are corpses that continue to twitch and move long after they have died and in fact if dismembered the individual pieces will continue to move as well. The world of The n-Body Problem was to me very abstract and hard to follow at times. Sometimes it seems that society is still functioning whereas other times it was in ruin. One of the main plotlines involved mass suicides which seemed to go completely against the idea of a functioning society. The main character was also confusing in that he suffers severe injuries throughout the story but continues to move forward. Is this a side effect of the 'zombie' effect that people can be injured but still ok? There were also some acts of sexual depravity and some violence that felt very self indulgent on the part of the author and did nothing to add to the story.
To summarize, if you have *anything* else to read on your list you'd be better served to pick one of those up than suffer through this.
This is one of those books where I kept waiting for it to get better but by the time I was willing to concede that wasn't going to happen I was too close to the end to stop. I was initially intrigued by the plot summary because it mentioned zombies and sounded as if it might have a fresh perspective on the genre. My guess now is that the summary was written by someone at the publisher who couldn't find any great plot points to hook the reader with and tried to figure out a way to make it seem more interesting than it was.
Readers should be aware that although the term 'zombie' does apply here the zombies are not like the flesh craving monsters of The Walking Dead or other stories. Instead they are corpses that continue to twitch and move long after they have died and in fact if dismembered the individual pieces will continue to move as well. The world of The n-Body Problem was to me very abstract and hard to follow at times. Sometimes it seems that society is still functioning whereas other times it was in ruin. One of the main plotlines involved mass suicides which seemed to go completely against the idea of a functioning society. The main character was also confusing in that he suffers severe injuries throughout the story but continues to move forward. Is this a side effect of the 'zombie' effect that people can be injured but still ok? There were also some acts of sexual depravity and some violence that felt very self indulgent on the part of the author and did nothing to add to the story.
To summarize, if you have *anything* else to read on your list you'd be better served to pick one of those up than suffer through this.
September 13, 2015
A fresh and original take on the Zombie story, one of two that this author has achieved (seriously, check out 'Pontypool Changes Everything' for the other). Talent overflows in this short, but absolutely cracking novel. Great tone and pace, with writing that achieves a strangely poetic tone along the way. Reading the work of Burgess is like trying to navigate through the nightmare of someone else. It's incredibly effective and frightening, though at times it doesn't seem to make sense.
Those were the moments that let me down more often than not. Although the author's intention was to 'delve into the madness' with these passages, I felt they proved to be more incoherent than crazy. The visceral and violent imagery stepped into overkill territory in some spots as well. There were parts where I really got the impression that the author was simply trying to see how far he could push things for the sake of shock value.
Still, for any horror buff or reader who likes their books on the dangerous side, I highly recommend this latest one from Burgess. Be prepared to expect the unexpected.
Those were the moments that let me down more often than not. Although the author's intention was to 'delve into the madness' with these passages, I felt they proved to be more incoherent than crazy. The visceral and violent imagery stepped into overkill territory in some spots as well. There were parts where I really got the impression that the author was simply trying to see how far he could push things for the sake of shock value.
Still, for any horror buff or reader who likes their books on the dangerous side, I highly recommend this latest one from Burgess. Be prepared to expect the unexpected.
November 16, 2017
I'm liking this guy more and more for the psychotic genius he is. Brilliant and depraved. The perverse atrocities that have everyone's panties in a bunch are so damned inventive and so well written that I was far more riveted than disgusted.
Moving the rest of his books quickly up the TBR list. (People Live Still in Cashtown Corners is already a favorite.)
---
"Nothing is possible. It is always and forever better to never have been born."
"That's how you do it. You don't change the picture. You destroy picturing."
Moving the rest of his books quickly up the TBR list. (People Live Still in Cashtown Corners is already a favorite.)
---
"Nothing is possible. It is always and forever better to never have been born."
"That's how you do it. You don't change the picture. You destroy picturing."
May 22, 2018
Comme l'a si bien dit Patrick Senécal en entrevue un jour. lorsque l'on pousse l'horreur trop loin, cela peut devenir grotesque. C'est ce qui arrive ici. On dirait que c'est écrit pour choquer, pour provoquer, cela m'a plutôt laissé indifférent tellement c'est absurde. L'écriture est belle, mais encore une fois, Acte Sud, nous offre un livre surécrit, probablement devant un miroir d'ailleurs, tellement l'auteur semble aimer se voir écrire. Je crois sincèrement (ce n'est pas la première fois que je le dis, mais bon...) que je lis un livre de cette maison d'édition. Je donne quand même deux étoiles, car il est évident que l'auteur à un talent, mais il devrait le mettre au service d'une bonne histoire, et ne pas trop pousser sur la stylistique.
June 9, 2025
lecture fortement étrange, du gore mais pas très utile a l'histoire, une fin perturbante.
une lecture plus drôle qu'apeurante
une lecture plus drôle qu'apeurante
December 8, 2013
Borrowed from NetGalley for an honest review.
I did not finish reading this book. I thought this was really boring and poorly written. It made absolutely no sense what so ever and I refused to read anymore.
I did not finish reading this book. I thought this was really boring and poorly written. It made absolutely no sense what so ever and I refused to read anymore.
January 6, 2014
Tony Burgess is the human centipede of CanLit. I want to see the movie of this.
January 13, 2019
public averti, ultra trashou mais zombie apocalypse assez fou !
January 17, 2016
From what I've read so far, the people who read this book fall into two categories: absolute fans who salivate at all the blood and guts and bits and things, and people who just threw up. I occupy a weird place in the middle, as with in most things. Tony Burgess is a very adept writer with a distinctive style, and he makes some fascinating choices in constructing his story. At the same time, some of those choices don't exactly work, and I'm left at the end with a pile of questions and nattering irritations.
So, let's break it down.
The Good: The narrative style is absolutely delicious. The author's sharp, short sentence construction was initially hard to get into, but it opens very quickly into a stream-of-consciousness that actually sounds like the sort of thing you'd find inside someone's head. His style immediately humanizes his characters and engenders an empathic response even when the character in question is a categorically bad person. Along with this, the choices he made while constructing his story are absolutely novel. Without dumping too much of a spoiler, halfway through the book the author completely disempowers his main character - he doesn't KILL him, but renders him an absolute observer, completely incapable of any actual action within the story. I can't think of anything offhand that has tried the same thing, or any other author that might make such a sad, self-contained perspective succeed.
The Not As Good: The weird story construction absolutely eviscerates the ending. Horror in general isn't really supposed to have a good ending; its characters are designed to leave with scars, if in fact they leave at all, but at least they, well, end. In this book the conclusion just sort of happens. Part of the oddity in rendering your main character a passive observer is inherent in the very concept: they have no ability to act on the story and the strength of the narrative becomes entirely dependent on the actors and events around them. In this case, the people surrounding the main character are, well, inhuman. I don't mean to say they're literally goats or zombies; rather, they don't think or act like humans do. No motivation is given for anything, no reason, they just kill and fuck because sure, why not. It's very hard to place any sort of emotional weight on the narrative, because it just sort of occurs, without any real plan or motive. Oh, and the whole "none of the charactes ever bother to explain why they're murderfucking entire towns" bit also extends to other huge, giant questions in the book, like "why is this even happening", "how is this even happening", and "why should I care". With that in mind...
The Bewildering: Why do so many apocalypses (apocalii? apocalix?) have such stupid and preventable causes? Like, let's say I'm writing a book where peoples' skin comes off and flies around, wrapping itself around other people and taking over their bodies. All good there. Now, let's say the skin-flying-off happened because of a botched anti-aging formula. Not... not so good. The whole concept of clinical trials is specifically designed to prevent dangerous compounds from getting loose in te public. The very practice of quarantine, medical isolation, the whole goddamn field of epidemiology is built to track and restrict the spread of disease, exactly so that something like a zombie plague doesn't get around. And yeah, I know this is fiction, and if I want to read a good book about skin kites dissolving your mother's epidermis so they can become her, I'm going to have to break protocol a little. But this book? This book doesn't even goddamn address these issues. They're simply never brought up. I don't just know why all this is happening, I don't know why nobody ever asks why. More than the body horror, more than the narrative style, this is what sticks with me: there are so many unanswered questions, which are exactly the same as the unasked questions.
Why are people zombieing around anyway? We don't know. Who thought it was a good idea in the first place to put them in low-earth orbit? We don't know. If incinerating the bodies is such bad PR, why not just turn off the cameras? We don't know. What exactly is this Syndrome that apparently causes idiopathic cancer of the everything? We don't know. Where are the governments? Where is the police? Why aren't the people who grew up under orbit doing more to act within it? We don't know, we never WILL know, those questions aren't even asked.
In conclusion, it IS an interesting read, but I really felt I ought to warn you about a couple of things. You get to make your own decisions now. There ARE graphic depictions of gross blood and body stuff, but that's not the most disagreeable thing here.
So, let's break it down.
The Good: The narrative style is absolutely delicious. The author's sharp, short sentence construction was initially hard to get into, but it opens very quickly into a stream-of-consciousness that actually sounds like the sort of thing you'd find inside someone's head. His style immediately humanizes his characters and engenders an empathic response even when the character in question is a categorically bad person. Along with this, the choices he made while constructing his story are absolutely novel. Without dumping too much of a spoiler, halfway through the book the author completely disempowers his main character - he doesn't KILL him, but renders him an absolute observer, completely incapable of any actual action within the story. I can't think of anything offhand that has tried the same thing, or any other author that might make such a sad, self-contained perspective succeed.
The Not As Good: The weird story construction absolutely eviscerates the ending. Horror in general isn't really supposed to have a good ending; its characters are designed to leave with scars, if in fact they leave at all, but at least they, well, end. In this book the conclusion just sort of happens. Part of the oddity in rendering your main character a passive observer is inherent in the very concept: they have no ability to act on the story and the strength of the narrative becomes entirely dependent on the actors and events around them. In this case, the people surrounding the main character are, well, inhuman. I don't mean to say they're literally goats or zombies; rather, they don't think or act like humans do. No motivation is given for anything, no reason, they just kill and fuck because sure, why not. It's very hard to place any sort of emotional weight on the narrative, because it just sort of occurs, without any real plan or motive. Oh, and the whole "none of the charactes ever bother to explain why they're murderfucking entire towns" bit also extends to other huge, giant questions in the book, like "why is this even happening", "how is this even happening", and "why should I care". With that in mind...
The Bewildering: Why do so many apocalypses (apocalii? apocalix?) have such stupid and preventable causes? Like, let's say I'm writing a book where peoples' skin comes off and flies around, wrapping itself around other people and taking over their bodies. All good there. Now, let's say the skin-flying-off happened because of a botched anti-aging formula. Not... not so good. The whole concept of clinical trials is specifically designed to prevent dangerous compounds from getting loose in te public. The very practice of quarantine, medical isolation, the whole goddamn field of epidemiology is built to track and restrict the spread of disease, exactly so that something like a zombie plague doesn't get around. And yeah, I know this is fiction, and if I want to read a good book about skin kites dissolving your mother's epidermis so they can become her, I'm going to have to break protocol a little. But this book? This book doesn't even goddamn address these issues. They're simply never brought up. I don't just know why all this is happening, I don't know why nobody ever asks why. More than the body horror, more than the narrative style, this is what sticks with me: there are so many unanswered questions, which are exactly the same as the unasked questions.
Why are people zombieing around anyway? We don't know. Who thought it was a good idea in the first place to put them in low-earth orbit? We don't know. If incinerating the bodies is such bad PR, why not just turn off the cameras? We don't know. What exactly is this Syndrome that apparently causes idiopathic cancer of the everything? We don't know. Where are the governments? Where is the police? Why aren't the people who grew up under orbit doing more to act within it? We don't know, we never WILL know, those questions aren't even asked.
In conclusion, it IS an interesting read, but I really felt I ought to warn you about a couple of things. You get to make your own decisions now. There ARE graphic depictions of gross blood and body stuff, but that's not the most disagreeable thing here.
December 18, 2013
'In the end, the zombie apocalypse was nothing more than a waste disposal problem… The acceptable answer is to jettison the millions of immortal automatons into orbit… Soon, Earth's near space is a mesh of bodies interfering with the sunlight, having an effect on our minds that we never saw coming.' So reads the back cover blurb for The n-Body Problem. I admit, I found it intriguing. I'm not that much into zombies, but I thought a practical approach to the issue was novel, and so I requested the book. Oh my. This is one of the weirdest books I have ever read.
The basic premise is that the human race has been affected by a syndrome which results in symptoms accelerating and intensifying as they are recognised by the person suffering, so that the time elapsing between the first twinge and death can be a matter of hours. Think hypochondria x 1000. Bodies continue to twitch after death and cannot be satisfactorily buried or burned, so a contractor has been engaged to jettison bodies into space. No one looks up. Sunlight is forever altered. Life is pretty grim. People called Sellers visit towns and convince the population to participate in mass suicides. The protagonist of the story, a former mercenary and gun for hire, has been engaged by a school board to kill the Seller. It goes downhill from here.
Just when I thought it could not get grimmer, it did. Again and again. I'm not sure what the message of this book is - maybe the ultimate depravity that dwells deep within - but even that does not justify the worst of the weirdness. As I noted at the start, zombies aren't really my thing, so I'm not entirely surprised that I didn't love this book. But it was the gratuitous nature of the violence and depravity that really surprised and appalled me. Maybe that's the point, I don't know. I only know I was hugely relieved to get out of the world Tony Burgess invented. Read at your own risk.
The basic premise is that the human race has been affected by a syndrome which results in symptoms accelerating and intensifying as they are recognised by the person suffering, so that the time elapsing between the first twinge and death can be a matter of hours. Think hypochondria x 1000. Bodies continue to twitch after death and cannot be satisfactorily buried or burned, so a contractor has been engaged to jettison bodies into space. No one looks up. Sunlight is forever altered. Life is pretty grim. People called Sellers visit towns and convince the population to participate in mass suicides. The protagonist of the story, a former mercenary and gun for hire, has been engaged by a school board to kill the Seller. It goes downhill from here.
Just when I thought it could not get grimmer, it did. Again and again. I'm not sure what the message of this book is - maybe the ultimate depravity that dwells deep within - but even that does not justify the worst of the weirdness. As I noted at the start, zombies aren't really my thing, so I'm not entirely surprised that I didn't love this book. But it was the gratuitous nature of the violence and depravity that really surprised and appalled me. Maybe that's the point, I don't know. I only know I was hugely relieved to get out of the world Tony Burgess invented. Read at your own risk.
December 9, 2016
I read this because it was on io9.com book club and the sinopsis was interesting.
The supposed central issue of the book is not actually very relevant. The fact that there are billions of corpses floating in orbit is only tangential to the book. It's only revelant as the reason, or part of it, why people are so depressed, desolate and giving up on life. This books is really about what the world would be like if most people lost the will to live.
You've probably read about how it has some necrophilia on it. Maybe you've read how sex with the dead is not as bad as it gets, because there is allways rape, pedophilia and amputee sex if you want to go even further. The depraved in this book seem to be depraved just because why not. They often are not even depraved because they are the villain and villains are depraved. Depravation for its own sake is what it feels like. It's also not about me being a prude moralist. If I were, I wouldn't even have read this book. I just wish there was a point to it.
Believe me, if you think you know where this story goes, you don't. It goes in a very stupid direction. Shocking? Sure, a little bit. Boring? Much more so. Shocking for shock sake? Probaly.
It gets a second star because the writer can write. I just wish he had better ideas and a point.
Better not to waste your time with this.
The supposed central issue of the book is not actually very relevant. The fact that there are billions of corpses floating in orbit is only tangential to the book. It's only revelant as the reason, or part of it, why people are so depressed, desolate and giving up on life. This books is really about what the world would be like if most people lost the will to live.
You've probably read about how it has some necrophilia on it. Maybe you've read how sex with the dead is not as bad as it gets, because there is allways rape, pedophilia and amputee sex if you want to go even further. The depraved in this book seem to be depraved just because why not. They often are not even depraved because they are the villain and villains are depraved. Depravation for its own sake is what it feels like. It's also not about me being a prude moralist. If I were, I wouldn't even have read this book. I just wish there was a point to it.
Believe me, if you think you know where this story goes, you don't. It goes in a very stupid direction. Shocking? Sure, a little bit. Boring? Much more so. Shocking for shock sake? Probaly.
It gets a second star because the writer can write. I just wish he had better ideas and a point.
Better not to waste your time with this.
October 20, 2016
Встречайте — самая идиотская и убогая книга "про зомби апокалипсис" в мировой истории. Завязка довольно оригинальная — все умершие начали подниматься как ходячие мертвецы, но мозги при этом не едят, не агрессивны, просто тупо ходят туда-сюда. При этом их миллионы и с каждым днем становится все больше. Куда их девать?
Сжигать? Сжигать зомби негуманно, это вызывает массовые протесты, волнения и бунты. (странный какой-то автор, думает читатель) Не вопрос, давайте запускать зомби на орбиту! И вот мы запустили миллиард зомби на орбиту, и они кружат в стратосфере, заслоняют солнце и портят воздух. (да он же просто тупой, понимает читатель)
От вечной темноты и от вони с небес человечество сходит с ума, начинает массово болеть раком, самоубиваться, ну и вообще за пару месяцев переходит в состояние полного распада и анархии "воруй-убивай-дави гусей", потому что НА САМОМ ДЕЛЕ люди только и мечтают, чтобы убивать, мучать и насиловать друг друга. (пора завязывать с этой хренью, думает читатель) При этом все постоянно блюют кровью, теряют сознание и кричат. Никакого сюжета, кроме подробных описаний убийств, болезней и мучений, не наблюдается. (ну нет так нет, думает читатель и удаляет книгу нафиг)
В жизни не встречал ничего более убогого. Сэкономьте свое время и не читайте. So bad it's not even good.
Сжигать? Сжигать зомби негуманно, это вызывает массовые протесты, волнения и бунты. (странный какой-то автор, думает читатель) Не вопрос, давайте запускать зомби на орбиту! И вот мы запустили миллиард зомби на орбиту, и они кружат в стратосфере, заслоняют солнце и портят воздух. (да он же просто тупой, понимает читатель)
От вечной темноты и от вони с небес человечество сходит с ума, начинает массово болеть раком, самоубиваться, ну и вообще за пару месяцев переходит в состояние полного распада и анархии "воруй-убивай-дави гусей", потому что НА САМОМ ДЕЛЕ люди только и мечтают, чтобы убивать, мучать и насиловать друг друга. (пора завязывать с этой хренью, думает читатель) При этом все постоянно блюют кровью, теряют сознание и кричат. Никакого сюжета, кроме подробных описаний убийств, болезней и мучений, не наблюдается. (ну нет так нет, думает читатель и удаляет книгу нафиг)
В жизни не встречал ничего более убогого. Сэкономьте свое время и не читайте. So bad it's not even good.
July 19, 2015
I hereby proclaim Tony Burgess some kind of mad genius whom I’m terrified of even though I know he’s a nice guy who once saved a kitten from drowning. His works have always danced on the dark side, but even when weighed against his past output of Pontypool Changes Everything, People Live Still in Cashtown Corners, Idaho Winter, and Fiction for Lovers: Freshly Cut Tales of Flesh, Fear, Larvae, and Love, The n-Body Problem is way, way, way out there. Pushing the zombie genre into places it’s never been, Burgess revels in grotesquerie like few are able. It’s a trip few will forget, and even fewer will want to start.
Read the full review at my blog.
Read the full review at my blog.
January 10, 2014
This book is definitely not for everyone. The imagery is so grotesque, and the defilement of bodies so profane and so ubiquitous, that I know many people who would stop within the first few pages and never go back. I had nightmares within fifteen minutes of closing my eyes, and that was after reading just the first forty pages.
But I could not put it down. I had to keep going back. I could hardly even look away, like a rubbernecker at a roadside decapitation.
It is not all gore for gore's sake, although there is an intense and prolific amount of gore—it is a deeply psychological horror story as well. The extent and variety of the horror is incomprehensibly vast. It is deeply, deeply fucked up on almost every imaginable level.
You may love this book. You may hate it. You may be offended and appalled by it. It may make you physically ill. I'm pretty sure I felt all of those things at one point or another as I read. Know yourself, your tastes and your limits. But if this is your thing, if you have the fortitude for it, this book is just so damn well done.
But I could not put it down. I had to keep going back. I could hardly even look away, like a rubbernecker at a roadside decapitation.
It is not all gore for gore's sake, although there is an intense and prolific amount of gore—it is a deeply psychological horror story as well. The extent and variety of the horror is incomprehensibly vast. It is deeply, deeply fucked up on almost every imaginable level.
You may love this book. You may hate it. You may be offended and appalled by it. It may make you physically ill. I'm pretty sure I felt all of those things at one point or another as I read. Know yourself, your tastes and your limits. But if this is your thing, if you have the fortitude for it, this book is just so damn well done.
March 14, 2019
The blurb sure was interesting. Shame that the author didn't agree. The book reads like Chuck Palahniuk wanted to write a zombie story, but lost interest in that about 20 pages in and instead decided to reprint all of his middle school dream journals.
There's no character logic to be found here. Characters behave randomly, choosing whatever would be considered the most extreeemeee. Occasionally, the author gives up and just limply lists atrocities that his characters might have gotten up to in the past, but who really cares?
The world makes no sense. It's a zombie apocalypse, but not really. Everyone's dying of disease when it's convenient for the plot. There's a roving government agent who gets entire towns to commit suicide because WHO CARES CHECK OUT THIS SICK GUITAR SOLO MELELWLWNWLLEELELEWEEEEEE!
I suppose this might be of interest to Palahniuk fans, but honestly, they all have algebra tests in the morning and shouldn't stay up.
There's no character logic to be found here. Characters behave randomly, choosing whatever would be considered the most extreeemeee. Occasionally, the author gives up and just limply lists atrocities that his characters might have gotten up to in the past, but who really cares?
The world makes no sense. It's a zombie apocalypse, but not really. Everyone's dying of disease when it's convenient for the plot. There's a roving government agent who gets entire towns to commit suicide because WHO CARES CHECK OUT THIS SICK GUITAR SOLO MELELWLWNWLLEELELEWEEEEEE!
I suppose this might be of interest to Palahniuk fans, but honestly, they all have algebra tests in the morning and shouldn't stay up.
July 7, 2017
Have you ever felt like something was too weird, but you kind of loved it anyway? This novel begins that way, a sort of hard boiled pulp, end of the world story, but it ends in incomprehensible weirdness. Pontypool Changes Everything was beyond strange... I guess two makes for a pattern.
Probably a five star book until the last fifty pages.
Probably a five star book until the last fifty pages.
January 4, 2014
disclaimer – i received an e-galley of this book from chizine publications in exchange for an honest review.
when the zombie apocalypse came the world knew what it meant. it meant mindless, marauding, ravenous flesh-machines. it meant destroyed ways of life, horrible and painful death for the living, and fear. only, in time, the world realized that it didn’t mean that at all. the zombies didn’t want to eat they just sort of laid there, twitching. so not only was the world unprepared, it was at a loss as to what to do with these undead members of society – where to put them, how to remove them.
that’s when the corporations took over the problem. and the zombie apocalypse became just another financial opportunity. the business that tried burning them all in giant ovens didn’t succeed – too many horrible reminders. the business that tried burying them all in giant landfills didn’t succeed – all that twitching and wriggling just brought everything back to the surface. finally, waste management corp. saved the day and turned grave rituals into a profitable business; ceremonial send-offs of our dead into space. only now, earth’s atmosphere is full of dead bodies and the effects are multiplying, with devastating consequences.
the n-body problem is a devastating story. i tried to put it down twice and found myself going back to it despite deciding that i just couldn’t finish it. it was lyrical and haunting and absolutely starkly visceral. this is not a zombie story, this is the story of what happens when rationality breaks down and there are no rules left. this is not a zombie story, this is the story of what happens when society flees because to stay is just too painful. this is not a zombie story, this is the story of what happens at the end of sanity.
tony burgess is a terrifying author. i’ve rarely come across someone who wields words so well that i simply could not abandon the story, even when i wanted to. he uses language as a weapon, so that the deep-seated reasoning inside disappears and you’re left being pummeled by images that you don’t understand (or maybe it’s just that you won’t want to). in lesser hands, this story would turn into a parody of itself or just an excuse to wallow in horrors best left unwritten. in burgess’ hands, you keep reading, searching for understanding in the horror. you’re left wondering not only “what did i just read” but going back to it again to try to figure out where it all went wrong and if, in the end, any of it had meaning.
five out of five stars
when the zombie apocalypse came the world knew what it meant. it meant mindless, marauding, ravenous flesh-machines. it meant destroyed ways of life, horrible and painful death for the living, and fear. only, in time, the world realized that it didn’t mean that at all. the zombies didn’t want to eat they just sort of laid there, twitching. so not only was the world unprepared, it was at a loss as to what to do with these undead members of society – where to put them, how to remove them.
that’s when the corporations took over the problem. and the zombie apocalypse became just another financial opportunity. the business that tried burning them all in giant ovens didn’t succeed – too many horrible reminders. the business that tried burying them all in giant landfills didn’t succeed – all that twitching and wriggling just brought everything back to the surface. finally, waste management corp. saved the day and turned grave rituals into a profitable business; ceremonial send-offs of our dead into space. only now, earth’s atmosphere is full of dead bodies and the effects are multiplying, with devastating consequences.
the n-body problem is a devastating story. i tried to put it down twice and found myself going back to it despite deciding that i just couldn’t finish it. it was lyrical and haunting and absolutely starkly visceral. this is not a zombie story, this is the story of what happens when rationality breaks down and there are no rules left. this is not a zombie story, this is the story of what happens when society flees because to stay is just too painful. this is not a zombie story, this is the story of what happens at the end of sanity.
tony burgess is a terrifying author. i’ve rarely come across someone who wields words so well that i simply could not abandon the story, even when i wanted to. he uses language as a weapon, so that the deep-seated reasoning inside disappears and you’re left being pummeled by images that you don’t understand (or maybe it’s just that you won’t want to). in lesser hands, this story would turn into a parody of itself or just an excuse to wallow in horrors best left unwritten. in burgess’ hands, you keep reading, searching for understanding in the horror. you’re left wondering not only “what did i just read” but going back to it again to try to figure out where it all went wrong and if, in the end, any of it had meaning.
five out of five stars
April 21, 2015
I can't believe all the reviewers claiming the book was too violent or disturbing for them. It's a horror novel. A good one. It's supposed to incite feelings of terror and disgust. Probably not a good pick for people looking for more Walking Dead zombie garbage, but a pleasant surprise if you're looking for something a little more challenging and engaging. This book isn't for everyone, and that's okay. It's an amazing little gem for readers who can appreciate the beauty and lyricism in horror. It actually reminded me of Cormac Mccarthy's early work, and that's pretty high praise.
December 10, 2013
He dudado mucho entre las 4 y las 5 estrellas, la verdad. Al final he sido avaro y le he escatimado una por que creo que tensa la verosimilitud hasta el límite, pero es una queja pequeña. Lo he pasado MAL. Burgess tiene un cerebro ENFERMO. Además, sale la escena de sexo más desagradable que he leído en mucho tiempo.
Pero que bien escribe el jodío. El referente claro es Cormac McCarthy.
Pero que bien escribe el jodío. El referente claro es Cormac McCarthy.
May 6, 2015
This was definetely not what I was expecting, it was too macabre and weird (in a bad way) and I just cannot finish it
February 19, 2014
oh, Tony Burgess. Let's not be best friends.
June 13, 2014
Five star (more if possible) weirdness but a three star book. I really liked this sick little book in some ways but in the end I just had too many unanswered questions.
Read
July 2, 2024This is the most horrific novel I've ever read.
Tony Burgess, I think you may benefit from therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.
Tony Burgess, I think you may benefit from therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.
August 12, 2020
As reader-expectation-subverting, surrealist gore/atrocity, this novella gets a 4; as a zombie story, which of course it's marketed as, it gets a 1 or 2. In the future, all dead humans inexplicably return to life -- sort of -- as mindless, twitching, essentially immobile zombies. After several failed attempts to get rid of the zombies, a corporate waste-disposal idea "send them into orbit" sends the world into an apocalyptic death spiral as the orbiting corpses gradually block out the sun, causing worldwide depression, mass suicide, inexplicable rapid-onset cancers and diseases, a rape epidemic, and other horrors.
Burgess' impressionistic writing style makes nauseating gore its own kind of beauty, but readers drawn in by the cool science-fiction premise --like one of the grossest xkcd "What if" comics ever -- will be disappointed by Burgess' disinterest in exploring logistics, zombie science or human motivations (for example, or or most obviously ). Indeed, the zombies are hardly onscreen at all; the plot follows a semi-insane bounty hunter on his quest to stop a zombie-raping, town-slaughtering madman, a quest which turns even more horrific in the book's second half when . Memorable but unsatisfying (probably intentionally), this short ode to helplessness and despair is accompanied by unimpressive, graphic-novel-ish illustrations.
Burgess' impressionistic writing style makes nauseating gore its own kind of beauty, but readers drawn in by the cool science-fiction premise --like one of the grossest xkcd "What if" comics ever -- will be disappointed by Burgess' disinterest in exploring logistics, zombie science or human motivations (for example, or or most obviously ). Indeed, the zombies are hardly onscreen at all; the plot follows a semi-insane bounty hunter on his quest to stop a zombie-raping, town-slaughtering madman, a quest which turns even more horrific in the book's second half when . Memorable but unsatisfying (probably intentionally), this short ode to helplessness and despair is accompanied by unimpressive, graphic-novel-ish illustrations.
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