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The Day I Washed My Face in the Toilet
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The Day I Washed My Face in the Toilet

4.46  ·  Rating details ·  37 Ratings  ·  14 Reviews
All 14-year-old Monica Bloomfield wants is to spend August at a science camp far away from her idiot sister and weird little brother. Trouble is, Monica’s being dragged into the wedding party of her crabby old great aunt who lives in England—and if she wants to earn that science camp, she has to keep her siblings in line for the entire trip, plus convince her crazy Grandma ...more
ebook, 133 pages
Published April 1st 2013 by Brenda Kearns
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Rohi Shetty
Jun 10, 2014 rated it it was amazing
The Day I Washed My Face In The Toilet by Brenda Kearns - Review

What I liked best about Brenda's book is the narrative voice of the 14-year old Monica.

Monica's perspective is sardonic and funny. For example, here's how she describes:

her mother -
"Mom was looking at me and smiling, but not with her real smile. It was her tight, fake smile."

her brother, Edward -
"If he wasn’t such a great chess player, I would have drowned him in the tub years ago."

her sister, Shelley -
" of Shelley’s mottos:
Tony Parsons
Jun 01, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Edward (10; Dementia Boy; Stealth Boy; Mr. Anal; Diarrhea King), Monica (14; Barfing Queen), Shelley (sister; well endowed; Fashion Goddess), & their mom (pediatric gastroenterology nurse), were going to England to Aunt Gay (64) huge English Catholic wedding (292 guests). Their Grandma Flo (77) was going to pick them up at the airport. Edward was quite the hyper-active kid, he loved to make paper cows. He also liked to run around naked. Grandma everyone said needed to be in a rest home. When ...more
Barbara Ann
May 23, 2014 rated it really liked it
The title accurately describes an incident that occurs in this short novel. Kearns' plot is not slapstick comedy but a clever story line that combines hilarious humor, family drama and tensions that occur in everyday life. Monica has been charged with transporting her younger fashion-plate teen sister and odd-ball brother off across the Atlantic to England for their Aunt's wedding. They will be staying at their eccentric grandmother's house.The disastrous journey begins on the airplane flight. O ...more
Jim Mackie
May 18, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is aimed at the teenage market, but it was recommended to me so I gave it a bash. It’s not a long book but the writing is very concise with no filler. Maybe I’m entering my second childhood but this ageing Scot found the book extremely funny and imaginative.

Other reviewers have described the characters. My favourite is Grandma, a hilarious old bird of dubious hygiene and questionable character. Chapter 7 is entitled "When wine-tasting parties go horribly wrong" and it is hands-down the
Cindy Smith
Jul 18, 2013 rated it really liked it
I received a copy from the author for a honest review.

Monica is a sensible child and a neat freak. Her brother Edward is hyper and her sister Shelly is a diva. When the three of them are sent ahead to England for their Aunt's wedding and moving of Grandma to a home, Monica is given the task of keeping everyone on track, and helping get Grandma taken care of smoothly. If she succeeds, she is going to get to go away to a science camp for a whole month!! The fun starts on the plane as Shelly finds
Marie Harbon
Jul 22, 2013 rated it really liked it
This book revolves around Monica's dysfunctional and outrageous family, while she herself is relatively normal. They're going to a wedding in England, and then stay with her batty grandma. It's a witty and entertaining read, styled almost like a diary or blog, although it doesn't have a strong plot as such. There are some great moments involving a grandma that would slot right into the UK comedy 'Absolutely Fabulous', an American girl's first curry flatulence, and a stalking bull. The reason for ...more
Christoph Fischer
Aug 10, 2013 rated it it was amazing
"The Day I Washed My Face in the Toilet" by Brenda Kearns is a fun read concerning a teenage girl who is plagued by her two eccentric siblings on a family trip to England.
The book is full of hilarious episodes and colourful characters. A hyper or slightly autistic brother, the diva sister, a difficult great-aunt or the demented Grandmother.
Besides the comedy however the story touches on some serious issues such as the care for the elderly and what to do with problem children. The book remains l
Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)
I found this story to be enjoyable and hilarious. Every chapter is funny, the characters are quirky, and everything that happens in this story would make a good movie. However, what makes this book stand out from other humorous books I've read is what I call The Sneak Attack. I'd be reading, smiling as I'm picturing the story play out in my head, when suddenly I'd reach the end of an unexpected gut-busting sentence and have to stop because I was laughing so hard. After composing myself, I'd atte ...more
May 19, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Monica has been given an impossible task, keep her prissy sister and demented little broth in line while visiting Grandma in London. I laughed my way through this entire book! From the crazy naked brother to the curry incident and the payback at the end. I think this is a wonderful read that will make everyone laugh. Excellent story! WaAR
Jun 21, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2014
I was given this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was a hilariously written story as told by a 14 year old girl named Monica. With an outrageous family like hers situations arise that have you laughing out loud.
Rodney Carlson
Nov 21, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Family members with different personalities, agendas, and quirks! Who couldn’t relate to that? If you haven’t been at odds with your siblings, then you were an only child. Even then you probably had a few tussles with your cousins, your aunt, etc.

Monica is the dependable child. She is obsessed with order and neatness. Her sister the fashion goddess is obsessed with her looks. Her brother the know-it-all is not so much obsessed, as possibly possessed. Mom is counting on Monica to get the three of
M.J. Moon
Feb 05, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a screechingly hilarious novel told from the point of view of self-centred teenager Monica. I laughed out loud in many places. The plot was water tight and the characters well drawn. You really feel as though you are in Monicas dysfunctional world. An excellent book and one to recommend to teenagers and desperately childish adults like me! ...more
Sheri Radford
A fun read that should appeal to kids.
mariam lawal
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Aug 05, 2015
rated it it was amazing
Jun 29, 2013
Brenda Kearns
Jun 02, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Leelawattie Persaud
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Feb 26, 2016
Andrew Yip
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Dec 29, 2015
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Mar 03, 2017
Karla P Bermudez
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Jun 06, 2015
Brenda Kearns
Jun 02, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)  ·  review of another edition
Dorothy Leighton
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May 31, 2018
Tariq Rauf
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Feb 14, 2017
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May 01, 2017
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Apr 16, 2013
Elizabeth a stivers
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Aug 18, 2016
Derek Bryant
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Jun 27, 2013
Brenda Kearns
Aug 27, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)  ·  review of another edition
rated it it was amazing
May 07, 2016
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Brenda writes health articles for Woman's World and First for Women magazines, and she covers everything from herbal remedies to medical breakthroughs. Brenda is also a proud member of the Humor Writers of America (yep, HA) and the Romance Writers of America, and she writes humor and romantic comedy, plus fiction for kids and young adults.

Brenda lives in Ontario, Canada, with her seven kids, two c
More about Brenda Kearns