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Fortunately, the Milk . . .

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You know what it’s like when your mum goes away on a business trip and Dad’s in charge. She leaves a really, really long list of what he’s got to do. And the most important thing is DON’T FORGET TO GET THE MILK. Unfortunately, Dad forgets. So the next morning, before breakfast, he has to go to the corner shop, and this is the story of why it takes him a very, very long time to get back.

Featuring: Professor Steg (a time-travelling dinosaur), some green globby things, the Queen of the Pirates, the famed jewel that is the Eye of Splod, some wumpires, and a perfectly normal but very important carton of milk.

144 pages, ebook

First published September 17, 2013

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Neil Gaiman

2,120 books301k followers

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5 stars
23,262 (38%)
4 stars
22,807 (37%)
3 stars
10,955 (18%)
2 stars
2,459 (4%)
1 star
1,354 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 8,989 reviews
Profile Image for Rachel Hamilton.
Author 6 books27 followers
September 20, 2013
A review by my 9 y-o son, described by the utterly lovely Neil Gaiman as the 'best review ever':

Today I was sick. My mum doesn’t always believe me when I say I’m sick, but my sister was sick yesterday so Mum said I could stay off school. ‘BUT,’ she said, ‘Don’t think you’re going to be lazing around watching TV and playing on the computer all day.’

That was bad news. That is, indeed, what I was planning on doing. :(

I was bored, so Mum let me borrow her Kindle to read a book that was making her laugh, called, ‘Fortunately, the Milk…’ by Neil Gaiman with illustrations by Chris Riddell. I noticed that it had brilliant pictures in it – even on the Kindle! – and Mum said I could go on the iPad if I wanted to draw a front cover for the book. I did. Look…

(you can see the images at: http://book-walrus.com/book-review-fo...)

There was something very good about this book. It was an ‘enhanced edition’ which means that the writer reads the book out loud to you while you read it! This writer is a good reader and he didn’t sound at all like the dalek voice that normally comes out of the Kindle. Mum said I could stay on the iPad if I wanted to draw a picture of the writer reading the book. But I can’t draw good faces so I drew a picture of the Kindle talking. Then I labeled it ‘Kindle’ because Mum asked what it was.

(you can see the images at: http://book-walrus.com/book-review-fo...)

I started to read. This is me reading. And no. My face is NOT the book.

(you can see the images at: http://book-walrus.com/book-review-fo...)

Everyone should read this book. It will make everybody laugh. It is good and very clever. The best thing is that it goes backwards and forwards in time with the Dad meeting himself all over the place in the past and in the future and in crazy wormholes.

(you can see the images at: http://book-walrus.com/book-review-fo...)

It has good characters. The dad is a funny dad. I also like the brother and sister because they are not stupid. They ask the dad clever questions to try and trap him, but he is good at wiggling out of trouble.

I think this is a very good book and it deserves 5 stars, which I have drawn here (because it meant I could stay on the iPad for longer. :) )

(you can see the images at: http://book-walrus.com/book-review-fo...

One day I would like to write books as good as ‘Fortunately, The Milk…’ and draw pictures as good as this too.
Profile Image for B Schrodinger.
305 reviews659 followers
March 28, 2014
It was a rainy morning and I felt like reading Neil's new book 'Fortunately, the Milk'. So I popped on my favourite astronaut t-shirt and caught the bus to my local bookstore, Snuffin and Kooks. I looked high and low for Neil's book, but all that was there were stacks of Paranormal Romance as far as I could see.

"Excuse me," I said to the nearest droopy-eyed sales attendant. "Do you have Neil Gaiman's new book, 'Fortunately, the Milk'?"

She rolled her eyes so far back that I thought for a moment she was inspecting her own sinus cavities. "All the hipsters have already bought out our entire stock" she replied.

"But how could they? Don't they know that I have been a fan of his since the Sandman days, before he was "cool"?'

She gave two ineffectual chews of something. "So you are one of those hipsters."

I left in a huff and a grumble, mumbling things about prescription lenses and Vampire Weekend being a good band anyway.

I returned to the bus-stop which which was covered, unfortunately the covering did not seem to be designed to keep the rain off, rather to concentrate the droplets and deposit them upon the head of a waiting passenger. I was soon joined by another hopeful passenger, an old lady who smelt of wet cardboard and boiled sweets.

"You look down dearie," she said, and I explained my predicament to her. "Well, I know of a place that sells books. I bet they'll have that Neil Armstrong book of yours. It's a cafe down the main street there, and you go left down the lane with the shoe store on the corner and it's halfway along on the left."

Despite knowing that a cafe that sells books would never sell the books I like, I decided to investigate due to my boredom and to make an old lady happy. I knew the shoe store, but not the lane. I thought it was next to the kebab shop that was quite obviously a front to an underground bikram yoga class. But as I arrived I saw that there was indeed a lane between the two and it had a sign stating that it was "Aquap Lane". It was there that I slipped in the wet and thought that this was too Harry Potter for my liking.

When I came to I was in a dark space with a shrunken man looking a me while holding a candlestick Wee Willy Winkie style.

"Where am I?" I asked the small man.

"You're in a pocket dimension. How did you get here? I don't want them in here!" he spat at me.

"I was looking for a book. Neil Gaiman's new book."

"Is it paperback or hardcover? Cos you'll only find paperbacks in a pocket dimension. God, what do they teach you kids these days?"

"Calculus. But why do you call this place a pocket dimension?" I asked.

"Because, you see, it is a dimension that could fit in your pocket. It's essentially a pocket-sized dimension it is," he explained with a smirk on his face.

Fortunately this smirk had a half-life of about one and a half seconds. The loss of smirk corresponded to the rise in volume of clanking footfalls.

"Oh you did it didn't you? You've gone and bought them. Well you'll not get that Neal's book from here", he scorned.

"No it's a Neil book, not a Neal book," I yelled as a group of knights in armour clanked out of the darkness and seized the shrunken man and I.

"Well you'd want a briefcase dimension for that kind of thing, not a pocket dimension. But I guess it's too late now."

By torchlight (the ye olde, stinky, fat-covered fire sticks, not the battery powered ones, they're knights dammit) we were led into the inky darkness of the pocket dimension. We walked for what may be days, but it felt like minutes. Wait, is that the right way around? Well I guess that a pocket dimension has timey-wimey issues.

Eventually we emerged through an archway into the light of day. It was a garden, a very intricate garden with topiary animals and paths of white gravel. Oh no, I thought, an Alice in Wonderland pastiche by a person who has never read the book and only seen the Disney film. But hang on, how did I know that having only seen the film and never read the book?

"Off with his head!"

Oh great it get's more cliched.

"But can I plead my case Your Majesty?"I asked. "I do not know why I am here and what I have been accused of. And, by the way, I thought you were meant to be a Queen."

"Well as you can see I am a king. Clever isn't it? No, not really. Anyhoo, you stand accused of writing an overly long pastiche review that by now no one is reading, nobody has even chuckled at and now you are destroying the fourth wall. Or is it the fifth? I've never been one for architecture."

"Guilty as charged Your Highness," I confessed. "I thought everyone would like it and think I was clever. But I guess all it has ended up being is a waste of a morning when I have more productive things to do. I could have gone to the bookstore instead. Hang on, that was in the review universe not the real universe. Now things are getting silly."

"Indeed", confirmed the King. "And therefore I sentence you to finish this atrocity of a review as soon as possible without using the waking up from a dream scenario. I hate when they do that!"

"Well it would expedite this review if you had a copy of Neil Gaiman's new book 'Fortunately, the Milk' that I could read very quickly. That would be mighty helpful Your Highness."

"Luckily I have a copy right here in my ermine cape. I was reading it earlier and I found it a quite fine read. I did not like the ending though. Who'd have thought that all that time the milk was the murderer not the train driver? Absurd."

"Well no need to read it now. Thanks anyway."

Profile Image for Patrick.
Author 89 books232k followers
December 29, 2014
I listened to this on audiobook during a car trip with my oldest boy, (Oot, Age 4.5).

We both really enjoyed it. Though didn't get to see the illustrations, we got to hear Neil himself reading it, and he's a very, very good narrator. If you've never heard him reading his own stuff, you're really missing out.
Profile Image for Mischenko.
1,014 reviews97 followers
May 7, 2021
This is a story about a family where the mother has left on a business trip and has delegated all the household responsibilities to her husband. Their two children are home alone with dad, and there isn’t any milk left for their cereal. Dad knows it’s no big deal; he can simply walk down the road and grab some milk from the store. As the children wait alongside their Toastios cereal, they wonder what could be taking their dad so long to get back. When he finally returns, he recounts an adventurous story of aliens, pirates, dinosaurs, time travel, and pretty much anything you can imagine. Will his story be convincing enough for the children?

This is such a charming story. Although the book is recommended for ages 7-9, this is a story for all ages and one that parents can enjoy reading right along with their kids. Younger readers will appreciate the neat time travel element and amusing characters like Professor Steg. There are references to well-known literature woven into the story, which is appealing for adults. To me, what makes the book so fun is the juxtaposition of the dad's ridiculous story and the reality as the kids begin to question how legit these events even are. The dad’s nonsensical story is hilarious, while the family story is real and relatable. My five children have a socialite for a dad, and we’ve found ourselves in this situation many times before!

The version I read of this book is illustrated by Skottie Young. I plan to pick up the version with illustrations by Chris Riddell because he’s one of our favorite illustrators. I've read that the perspective is switched up in that version as well.

Overall, this is a non-stop, fast-paced, crazy adventure that’s fun to get lost in. If you’re a fan of Neil Gaiman or even Roald Dahl stories, give this one a try.


You can also see this review @www.readrantrockandroll.com
Profile Image for Alejandro.
1,127 reviews3,552 followers
September 11, 2017
Fortunately, I read this book!


Quite funny, entertaining and it's a really quick read.

What else can you ask?

I did it on an hour...

...And for that hour I had such wonderful time.

In an hour I was lost in time, meeting fantastic characters and laughing.


If you decide to read it, keep in mind that it's a short story oriented for children, so please, don't harm the rating of this sweet book just because you were expecting "Neil Gaiman, the great mind behind Sandman and American Gods".

He is not here...


...You will find "Neil Gaiman, the wonderful dad that wrote a story to entertain for an hour to his children and the children of all the world."

Along with Neil Gaiman, in here you will find the delicious art of Scottie Young, talented artist famous for his work on the Marvel's graphic novel adaptations of the OZ books by L. Frank Baum, that he worked there with Eric Shanower. (By the way, you can check on my shelves of Goodreads, you will find reviews of all those books too).

Gaiman and Young are a wonderful team where the words of Neil make a perfect amalgam to the drawings of Scottie.


Wacky characters along with time travel...

...wonderful combination!

I won't spoil anything (don't worry! Geez!), I just want to comment that if you ever been able to contain yourselves of reading aloud the lines of the wumpires (yes, you read correctly...wumpires), well I just can say that you have more selfcontrol than me!

Because I just have to say aloud those phrases with my best imitation of the expected accent!

Oh, yes, I had to do it. And I'm not ashamed of admit it!

Keep loyal to your wumpires! Be proud!

For an hour, Neil and Scottie take us to a funny wacky fantasy adventure, but at the end, they let you to decide if all was lie or not.

I chose to believe!

Oh, yes!...

...life is too short for not believing in fantasy at least for an hour.

If you can't being a kid again at least for an hour and laughing with a sweet story like this one, geez, please look for an empty grave and jump in there, you are already dead and nobody told you!

Oh, if you are of the ones that skip the final credits, well, you will miss something really funny. (Nope, I won't tell, it's not my fault that you were in such hurry to leave the book!)

Good thing that I never skip that, like in the movies, that if you are too eager to leave the theater and you can miss a final scene. (I wonder what all those people do, rushing out once the credits started to roll. Do they find a cure to the cancer? Solving the world hunger? Getting world peace? Nope, I don't think so, since we still have all those troubles)

So, getting back to the final credits, in this book, read them or you will miss the final joke.

If you don't get it, please do some memory tests, since you have to get it, you just read it less than hour ago!

Now, I leave, I have to go to the market for some milk!

Profile Image for Kenny.
494 reviews861 followers
August 16, 2022
I opened the door. “Don’t do that,” said a green, globby person. “You’ll let the space-time continuum in."
Neil Gaiman ~~ Fortunately, the Milk


Neil Gaiman’s latest book, “Fortunately The Milk” is a boisterous tale of an extraordinary adventure, time travel and milk. Gaiman’s is full of surprises, jokes and an awful lot of just being plain silly. If you can’t tell already, I loved this book.

Gaiman’s tale narrated by a boy whose mother is away on a business trip, and whose father had to go out to the corner store for a pint of milk for the cereal and his tea. Dad takes an unconscionably long time getting the milk, and when he returns, the narrator and his little sister accuse Dad of having stopped to gossip at the store. Not so, insists Dad, who proceeds to explain exactly what happened while he was out getting the milk.


It's an astounding tale, starting with an alien abduction, moving swiftly onto a space-time journey to the ship of a vicious pirate queen and a near-death plank-walking, a daring rescue by a time-travelling dinosaur scientist in a hot-air-balloon time machine, and thence through interference with a pre-Colombian human sacrifice, and many, many other adventures, including several involving temporal paradoxes.

For all the mad-cappery, there's a fair bit of attention here to an internally consistent time-travel story, with all the fun that implies. By the end, we are in a kid-safe place that's one part Douglas Adams, one part Doctor Who, and one part Walter Mitty. It's quite a mix!

Profile Image for Miranda Reads.
1,589 reviews155k followers
December 10, 2020
Five bucks on Gaiman throwing darts at an idea-board.

Why? Maybe cause of the time traveling dinosaurs, unicorns, wumpires and aliens.

For such a decidedly whimsical book, it was unexpectedly fabulous. Two kids are left home alone with dad for a weekend while scientist-mom is at a conference (unexpectedly great reason for mom to be gone for the week!). Only, when it comes time for breakfast...the kids discover that there's no milk for their cereal.

Their dad bravely ventures forth to pick up some from the corner store...and he's gone an awfully long time. So long that the kids demand an explanation when he returns. And, their dad opens his mouth...and this wonderful tale spills out.

It was hilarious, fun and an all-around delight. Plus, the illustrations were adorable.

YouTube | Blog | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat @miranda_reads
Profile Image for Hannah Greendale.
703 reviews3,276 followers
November 10, 2022
Click here to watch a video review of this book on my channel, From Beginning to Bookend.

A quirky tale of time travelling dinosaurs, blood sucking wumpires (yes, wumpires) and enthusiastic pirates, made even more amusing by an abundance of winsome illustrations.
Profile Image for Swrp.
663 reviews
October 5, 2020

Mermaid with legs

Queen of the pirates

This one's a wonderfully fun and enjoyable read!
Timeless tale of time!!

Neil Gaiman never disappoints.

"It's important for people to tell you what side they are on and why, and whether they might be biased. A declaration of members' interests, of a sort. So, I am going to be talking to you about reading. I'm going to tell you that libraries are important. I'm going to suggest that reading fiction, that reading for pleasure, is one of the most important things one can do. I'm going to make an impassioned plea for people to understand what libraries and librarians are, and to preserve both of these things."
~ Neil Gaiman
Profile Image for Lisa.
977 reviews3,327 followers
September 11, 2018
Funny! Silly! Crazy but sweet!

This is an excellent book to read aloud to 4th grade kids who are in the process of developing a sense for the absurdities of life. It is mainly about telling stories and that you can make up a great plot about anything, no matter how boring the so-called truth of every-day life is. Small things give you big ideas - and they don't have to make sense.

Fortunately, the milk was out - otherwise a couple of children would have missed out on aliens, pirates, Splod and various mind-boggling problems that usually occur when you travel back and forth in time with a dinosaur professor.

Update: The fourth grade kids are now Grade 8 students (that is unbelievable enough - they must have opened that door that let in the time-space-continuum!), and they still refer to the time when I read "Fortunately the milk..." aloud to the class. I would say that is the best praise a children's book can get. "Then the milk touches the milk" has become an insider saying! Either the universe will end, or we will be watching the madness of dwarves with flower pots go on for a while still.

Fortunately, the milk...
Profile Image for Ahmed  Ejaz.
549 reviews325 followers
March 11, 2017
Milk!! I think author has a great love for milk. :)

This book is about a father who buys milk for his children. And after that, he gets trapped in a space-time continuum by aliens who wants to re-model the planet Earth and wants permission from him to do so as he is a representative of planet Earth. Lol! Father is telling his children the story of how he gets back to present-time in the whole book.

It's a very delightful read. I enjoyed it. Really liked the adventures.
This fact is very odd for me that if the aliens want to re-model the planet Earth then why the heck they want permission.. lol!
My favourite scene in book was when the Father met the king of Volcanos. Hahaha.... really enjoyed that scene.

I couldn't get it as author didn't mention it well. He just mentioned it in illustration.

Regardless, it is a delightful read. Especially for children. But it was a fun read for me also. I will must read his other works too.

He looked like he remembered that, without milk, he couldn’t have his tea. He had his “no tea” face

I HATE tea, for the record! But my whole family love it. Except for me. Very strange.

February 4, 2017
Profile Image for Tadiana ✩Night Owl☽.
1,880 reviews22.7k followers
June 16, 2020
Why did Dad take so long on his errand to go grab a bottle of milk for the breakfast cereal?
Well, he'll tell you.

The answer is convoluted and hilarious, involving a stegosaurus professor in a hot air balloon with a time machine, aliens, pirates, volcanos, ocean piranhas, vampires wumpires, and much, much more.

His two kids are pretty dubious but willing to go along with it for the most part ("Hang on. Piranhas are a freshwater fish. What are they doing in the sea?"). And occasionally they have requests for ponies or "handsome, misunderstood wumpires" to be in the story.

It's a fun children's or early middle-grade story, and the illustrations absolutely make it. This would be a great read-aloud book for kids who like wildly imaginative adventures.

Watch out for those ocean piranhas!
Profile Image for Spencer Orey.
540 reviews123 followers
May 26, 2021
Intentionally rambling, with some good humor. Exciting illustrations. My kid really liked it this time and thought the dinosaurs were great.
Profile Image for Janete on hiatus due health issues.
655 reviews264 followers
December 10, 2020
I found the plot very creative, although it's not so awesome. But it has very funny parts. Scribd's text and audiobook. The audiobook's narration was made by Neil Gaiman and I thought that this was extremely well done and amused.
Profile Image for Montzalee Wittmann.
4,559 reviews2,312 followers
May 13, 2021
Fortunately, the Milk
by Neil Gaiman
Lol! This is a great kids book about a father making up an excuse for taking so long to get the morning milk from the store. He makes up the most astonishingly and unbelievable story to tell his two kids that have been waiting patiently for the milk.
Profile Image for Ivan.
417 reviews279 followers
October 20, 2016
Cooperation between Neil Gaiman and Chris Riddell always results in something special. This is children's book but it's one that brings back child in me (which to be honest isn't that deeply buried). I had wide grin through out whole reading.
Profile Image for Gypsy.
399 reviews508 followers
September 9, 2018

اینو با ستایش و بهداد و بهنام خریدم، باغ کتاب تهران. می‌نویسم که یادم بمونه چه روز خوبی بود کنار این آدما.

من خیلی نیل گیمن رو دوست دارم. از خوشبختانه شیر هم خوشم اومد، اما نه اونقدی که انتظارش رو داشتم! به‌نظرم یه جاهایی داستان زیادی ساده گرفته شده بود. درعین اینکه یه جاهایی خنده‌دار بود. با کارهای دیگۀ گیمن فرق داشت اما بازم نیل گیمن‌طور بود. :دی من مال نشر پریانش رو خوندم، نه این یکی رو.

یه چیز ساده رو مثل قصه‌های قدیمی ایرانی پر و بال داده بود و سنجاق شدنش به اتفاقات بانمک و هوشمندانه بود.

چقدرم اسمش رو دوست دارم. :)) هی هرچی می‌شد شیر رو رو می‌کرد. خیلی باحال بود.
Profile Image for Jadranka.
234 reviews126 followers
October 14, 2016

Prava, pravcata dečija knjiga. Ako niste u stanju da se vratite u najbezbrižnije godine svog detinjstva, onda čitajte ovu knjižicu na ličnu odgovornost.
Ilustracije su fantastične, kao i uvek kada Kris Ridl umeša svoje prste u Gejmenove specijalitete.
Nisam pametna da li dam 4 ili 5 zvezdica, a ovaj smotani Goodreads još uvek nam ne da koristimo pola zvezdaje, pa neka bude 4.
Profile Image for Lesley.
192 reviews20 followers
March 23, 2015
Thank god for Skottie Young, his expressive and original style was the thing that kept me turning the pages. It's hard for me to say that because I want to like Neil Gaiman. And I am OBSESSED with The Graveyard Book, and I've been trying to find some other work of his to praise, but unfortunately this isn't it.
It's an okay book. The story is kinda cute, in a cutesy rambling sarcastic way. It seems forced and quickly told, like Neil was at a party telling this story and someone wrote it down and published it without any real editorial input. Even the milk itself seemed an afterthought instead of the driver.
I'm sure Gaiman fans will wax poetically about the story's grand and imaginative plot. But I just can't. It's an okay story. I would tell parents to get it and read it to kids at bedtime. But it isn't something I would actively promote.
Maybe what I wanted from this story was more development, maybe (like everything with Gaiman) I have this grand idea of what he "should" write, I can't appreciate what he actually writes.
I wanted chapters of characters and development, I wanted descriptions of far away lands. I wanted Alice Through the Looking Glass with a dash of Phantom Tollbooth....
But all I got was Fortunately, the Milk.
Profile Image for Lucy.
430 reviews75 followers
September 11, 2021
I read this book two years ago and liked it ok (3⭐️). This time around, I listened to the audiobook because it's read by the author himself. I liked the story much better 😁.

All that to say I recommend this story, especially the audiobook. If you're looking for an outlandish story full of unique characters and unlikely situations, give this one a try. I don't think you'll be disappointed, and it might even make you chuckle.
Profile Image for Kelly (and the Book Boar).
2,444 reviews7,538 followers
September 26, 2013
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

What happens when Mom is away at a conference and Dad is left in charge? Well, of course they run out of milk. Follow along on Dad’s remarkable expedition to retrieve more milk. His adventure is filled with hot air balloons, dinosaurs, aliens, ponies, vampires and a talking volcano???

Gaiman could write anything – I mean absolutely ANYTHING and I would read it, so when this definitely-written-for-kids children’s novel popped up on a Gaiman stalking . . . errrr, I mean Gaiman absolutely-normal-nothing-to-see-here-folks fan page, I knew I had to read it right away. Not only did I go on quite the amazing journey with Dad, I also learned everything I ever needed to know about transtemporal metascience and a catchy little diddy called “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Hard-hairy-wet-white-crunchers” that I simply can’t seem to get out of my head.

As always, Gaiman is brilliant. As a woman of an age which shall not be mentioned, I found this story absolutely delightful and the illustrations are the best I’ve seen since I was a little bitty one. Buy it/check it out from the library for yourself, your kids or your grandkids. No one will be disappointed. I was planning to pick this up for myself anyway, but I needed a book to keep the smallest person who lives in my house interested during mandatory reading time so I rushed straight to the library. Yeah you heard me right – punishment by Gaiman. Every freakin’ child in the world should want to live at my house.
Profile Image for Amin.
Author 12 books144 followers
May 1, 2021
خوندن کتاب‌های کودکان توی بزرگسالی همیشه ریسک نپسندیدن رو داره. هرچند خیلی از کتاب‌ها سن ندارن، اما خیلی از کتاب‌ها هم سن دارن و طبیعیه همه به یک اندازه ازشون لذت نبرن. برای همین وقتی توی سنین بالا سراغ کتاب‌های کودک میرین یا کتابه باید خیلی عالی و قوی باشه یا باید شما انتظاراتتون رو در حد کتاب کودک نگه دارین.

«خوشبختانه، شیر» کتابی بود که مدت‌ها برای خوندن یا نخوندنش دودل بودم. کتاب کودک قبلی که از گیمن خونده بودم (آد و غول های یخی) چندان به دلم ننشسته بود. برای همین دوست نداشتم خاطرات خوبم از نوشته‌های گیمن رو خراب کنم. با این حال خوشبختانه، شیر انتظاراتم رو برآورده کرد. کتابی خلاقانه، با طراوت و با طنز پنهان جذاب. ویژگی جالب کتاب بازی با زمانه که کمتر توی کتاب‌های کودکان می‌بینیم.

شخصیت پدر خانواده به‌شدت من رو یاد خود گیمن می‌انداخت. کسی که از هرچیزی می‌تونه داستان بسازه. طنزی که توی متن بود هم دوست‌داشتنی بود. همین که داستان حول محور یک پاکت شیر می‌چرخید یا اون پیراناهایی که آخرش هم مشخص نشد چجوری وارد داستان شدند :دی. یا مثلا تیکه‌ی زیر (که البته اگه داستان رو خونده باشین ازش لذت بیشتری می‌برین):

یکی از بیگانه‌های رنگ‌پریده پرسید: «یه آتشفشان از کجا این همه اطلاعات درباره‌ی علم و فضا و سفر در زمان داره؟»
اسپلاد گفت: «وقتی یک موجودیت جغرافیایی باشی برای فکر کردن کلی وقت داری. در ضمن من مشترک چند مجله‌ی علمی‌فرهنگی هم هستم.»

جدای از این‌ها طراحی‌های کریس ریدل فوق‌العاده است! واقعا نصف لذت خوندن این کتاب به طراحی‌ها و صفحه‌آرایی جذابشه! ترجمه‌ی آقای فربد هم خیلی خوب بود.

اینجا معرفی مختصری برای کتاب نوشتم.
Profile Image for Melki.
5,789 reviews2,339 followers
December 31, 2016
If Bruce Springsteen had written this book, it would have gone something like this:

Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack.
I went out for a ride some milk,
and I never went back.

Fortunately, he didn't write it.

Neil Gaiman did.

And so, we're treated to a magical little tale of professorial dinosaurs, pirates, piranhas, and ponies. It's a merry old time, greatly enhanced by Skottie Young's illustrations.

My favorite part was when it is revealed that Dad,

Here's wishing all kids bowls full of Toastios, and a dad who's willing to bend the truth in the name of entertainment.
Profile Image for Laura.
1,374 reviews207 followers
July 15, 2013

A story can be found in every moment, step, and nook & cranny in life. Even a quick trip out for milk can turn into an adventure. Especially with Neil Gaiman around! The man has once again stolen my heart, giggles, and smile with a nonstop, swashbuckling spin through time and space with pirates, aliens, and wumpires. Come on, let go, and allow your imagination to wander around in Neil Gaiman’s head for a bit.

Our story begins in the kitchen. Two kids, with dashed hopes and dry cereal, stare into the fridge where the milk is supposed to live. Dad comes to the rescue though and dashes off to the store to save breakfast! But time and ages and ages tick. tick. tick by. Just as the kids begin to slump, sigh, and strongly consider soaking their cereal in orange juice, Dad swoops back in the door with much more than just milk. You have to hear this highflying, alien abduction, will-the-milk-make-it-home-in-time tale and spin on what happened to me on the way to the store! The twists, turns, and connections through time had me grinning ear to ear. It’s a fast, furious, action packed ride filled with laughs and creatures galore—even piranhas! PIRANHAS! Oh, how I love those little guys with the big, mean bite! Only Gaiman could somehow, some way squeeze piranhas into a pop-out-to-the-corner-store-to-get-milk tale.

Energy, wonder, and humor bring Dad’s courage, fun, and quick thinking to life on the page. Around page nine or ten, I found myself not only laughing out loud, but reading out loud as well. Words like "FIZZ", "PLIP" and “thummthumm” needed and wanted out and off the page. I loved how each noise, bellow, and word sounded and felt rolling off my tongue. My room felt alive with the story’s energy and magic! And oh does Mr. Gaiman capture the magic of storytelling perfectly on the page—captures the joy and magic of a Dad telling a story to his kids. Pure, pure bow your heads to the reading gods magic!

And just when you think this could not get any better…Boom! We get pictures! :D The word magic is brilliantly matched and fueled by Skottie Young’s black & white, detailed illustrations of the fun. His visions keep this journey rolling! Gross, funny, and fast! We can go from snot bubbles to dazzling smiles in a blink of an eye. Mr. Young’s darkness, creeps, and enthusiasm will have readers flipping through again and again just to get another look at this wonderfully odd world and characters.

I try my hardest not to reveal too much detail and plot in a Gaiman review, but just know this book holds a surprise and smile on every page. Words that will spark a reader’s imagination and maybe even some research—Are piranhas only found in fresh water? Off to find out…..

Hope you drop on in for a quick trip to the store. Haha…Fortunately, the milk…..well you’ll have to pick this one up to find out what happens to the milk. :)

A fun recommended read for any and all adventurers and time traveling fans. And as always—a must read for Gaiman fans! I never know where he will take me.

**Advance Reader’s Copy**
Profile Image for Karl Orbell.
220 reviews39 followers
October 16, 2013
Right, well here I am cheating a bit - as I did not physically read this book. Neil Gaiman read it to me, in person! Chris Riddell drew pictures to help illustrate the story in the background on a screen and Lenny Henry even helped out with some of the voices. Other musicians and actresses were involved, quite a big event. (His wife, Amanda Palmer, even turned up to play her ukulele unexpectedly, with a customised version of a song tailored to sell the book. ;-)

What a magnificent evening.

The story is Gaiman's attempt to write a book that casts fathers in a positive light. After writing The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish and finding that a lot of people were giving it to their fathers for Father's Day as a tongue-in-cheek insult, he thought he had better make amends. So... the father as the hero of the day, does it work?

Yes and no. Yes, as it's a pretty funny children's book full of zany characters and a ludicrous plot, involving pirates, time travel, aliens, dinosaurs, religion, volcanoes, hot air balloons and milk. No, in that I'm not 100% sure the dad comes out of it winning the day. His kids are unimpressed, but the reader will have enjoyed the ride.

Note, the humour I think will work for all ages, though, rather like The Simpsons, it will hit on different levels for different ages. Adults are likely to get a lot more out of it than kids. As the funny compère stated at the start of the show - "This is a children's book you know? Yet there seem to be a disproportionate number of adults in here this evening. Many of you will need to leave!" It must have been about 95% adults, all of whom were laughing from beginning to end.

Neil Gaiman - Milk

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