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224 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 3, 2013
I didn’t always use to think this way.
I used to have hope.
I used to believe in things.
I know death hurts, death breaks, death consumes, and there is no magic cure to making it go away.
She means something. The truth stabs at my chest like a chunk of shrapnel lodged in my heart, right where the scar is. Things aren’t supposed to mean anything. I’m dead. I gave up. I’m not supposed to be here. With Nova. With anyone.
People say that time heals all wounds, and maybe they’re right.
Nova said she went looking for me. No one ever goes looking for me or cared enough to worry about me. When she says it, I’m pretty certain my worthless heart shatters inside my chest, and she steals one of the pieces. If it didn’t already belong to someone else I probably would have handed her all the pieces right then and there.
“Stuff happens. We get lost. We try to control what will happen. We give up. We do things that don’t make sense. We search for things in the wrongest of ways. We lose our way, but sometimes, if we’re really, really strong, we manage to find our way back.”
2.5 stars for toxic relationship
I don’t try to kiss her or feel her up. I just hold her and let our bodies stay linked, wanting to know her and understand her more than I have with anyone since Lexi. For an instant, I have something to hold on to again, a reason to keep breathing, to live.
"People say time heals wounds and maybe they're right." I keep my eyes on the computer screen watching my lips move. "But what if the wounds don't heal correctly, like when broken bones mend together, but aren't as smooth anymore."
'I didn't always use to think this way.
I used to have hope.
I used to believe in things.'
'...because it reminds me that there's life in the world, and that hearts do keep beating even after they break.'
But Nova said she went looking for me. No one ever goes looking for me or cared enough to worry about me. When she says it, I'm pretty certain my worthless heart shatters inside my chest, and she steals one of the pieces. If it didn't already belong to someone else I probably would have handed her all the pieces right then and there.'
My head starts to race as I realize the painful truth of the revelation. I am lost. Broken. Searching for something that doesn’t exist
Nova is smiling at me and I can tell she doesn’t smile that often by how hard it is for her. It’s like she wants to be sad, which makes me want to make her happy…
“But sometimes stuff happens and we find ourselves lost, and suddenly we're standing in a place we don't recognize and can't remember walking-or falling-there, and we're unsure how to get back or if we even want to.”
“You're like my favorite song, Nova. The one that I never want to forget. That I want to play over and over again.”