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Wallbanger

(Cocktail #1)

by
4.07  ·  Rating details ·  162,188 ratings  ·  12,949 reviews
The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) ...more
Paperback, 365 pages
Published August 13th 2013 by Gallery Books (first published November 27th 2012)
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Kassandra As Isabelle said, there is a sequel called Rusty Nailed. There is also another book written about these two characters that just came out called Last…moreAs Isabelle said, there is a sequel called Rusty Nailed. There is also another book written about these two characters that just came out called Last Call. There are also two other books that aren't about those characters, but they are about characters that you meet briefly in Rusty Nailed(less)

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Average rating 4.07  · 
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 ·  162,188 ratings  ·  12,949 reviews


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Aestas Book Blog
Aug 29, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites




5 HUGE STARS!!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK!!
EVERYONE HAS TO READ IT!!!

This book was brilliant!!
Pure gold!
I’m in love with Simon.
Completely, utterly in love.
My cheeks ache from laughing.
My heart is happy.
Did I mention I love this book?


This book was pure, decadent, lighthearted, un-put-downable, FUN!! A well-written, perfect blend of all things happy, romantic, sweet, funny (hilarious, really), melty, swoony, witty, steamy, with just enough tender, deeper moments to make my heart squeeze.
...more
Richa
Nov 30, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
BANG BANG BANG!


Oh God............


BANG BANG BANG!!


Oh God................


BANG BANG BANG!!!


OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!


THE WALLS ARE SHAKING, PICTURES ARE FALLING DOWN!!!! RUN FOR COVER PEOPLE!!! GRAB YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK, SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR DRESS AND HIDE UNDER THE TABLE!! I THINK WE'RE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


BUT Wait A Sec...........Not an earthquake...........nope, definitely not an earthquake.......One, only one wall is shaking.....
...more
Blacky *Romance Addict*

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Text messages between The Book and Blacky :


So, what do you think about me?
Well you weren't short at all :D
Well yeah I'm pretty long... and thick...
Just about average I'd say
Pfttt you are average missy! Didn't you like all the humor?
Yeah it was good I guess, the scene with Dr. Ross was the best :D
Ohhhh yes, makes me think of dirty things, that man. I wish I had my O back :(
Yes, I wish it too! Your O brought more frustration to me than it did to you!
Whatcha sayin'? You didn't like all the
...more
Warda
Mar 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Reread.
I was worried that this wouldn’t be as great as the first time I read it.
I was wrong, thank god.
It was so good. So fuckin’ good. There were numerous times I started to tear up because my emotions were going haywire. I’m just so in love with this book!

——————————————

Well, hello there, my new favourite. Come to mama!

I judged this book by the title. And I feel like an absolute fool now, because fuck me, I loved this! Loved it!

I can't wait to reread it and continue on with the series. And
...more
Cindy
Dec 03, 2012 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: bored-now, dnf
What is with these 'OMG! Super-Hot! Fun!' books that become all the rage here on GR lately? And they are all the same.

A Mary Sue heroine with a perfect job and perfect friends who looks perfect but for some reason is alone and sexually frustrated. And she's all kinds of batshit about her perceptions of men or sex or men AND sex. Thus, the heroine of what exactly?

Then the hero. Well he's of course otherworldly gorgeous and fit, although he puts absolutely no effort into becoming that way, and
...more
Katerina
Mar 02, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
“Kittens,lay back.You are about to get Wallbanged.”


I was an addict craving her dose.I was lost in a dull world full of mundane stuff for so long I almost became a mundane myself.After a month of abstinence from reading and severe book deprivation,after long days and bookless nights,the time came to return where I belong.And I had to celebrate!I wanted something light.I wanted saucy and funny and Wallbanger promised to deliver them all.And oh boy,it did!But it also delivered sweet,and fluffy
...more
Kristen
Review posted at: Swept Away By Romance

3 1/2 to 4 stars

There's no doubt Wallbanger is a fun, delightful, moderately sexy, feel-good read that bordered on the ANNOYING. There were times I felt like wallbanging my head against the wall with the amount of unresolved sexual tension this poor couple was put through. Geez! This particular aspect of the story became so frustrating.

I enjoyed getting to know the two main characters, Simon and Caroline. They were endearing, playful–maybe a little
...more
♡Karlyn P♡
Oct 27, 2013 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobook, dnf

So disappointed! This book went from "O.M.G!" to a big fat "D.N.F." at 75%

I really (and I mean REALLY!) enjoyed the opening of this book, and was looking forward to a great read. But in the end, I gave it too much of my time and finally just had to call it quits.

Oh, it started off so funny and original. The 'Wallbanger' and 'Cock blocker' jokes were cute. Simon was such a mystery, and Caroline was a person I would love to hang with if she was a real person. Her conversations with her cat had
...more
Baba
Nov 03, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: arc-by-author
ETA: downgraded to 3 stars. September 20, 2015.

"Hello O! Nice to see you again. With his lips he brought me one."

Photobucket

3.5 stars. I mean it. And I want half stars!

Once upon a time there was a missing O. The pressure of an O long denied, waiting patiently—and sometimes impatiently—for her release. Lucky you, because you found The Wallbanger.

Simon: How’s the pressure now?
Caroline: Do you want me to hurt you? Shut it! *a look of dreamy bliss on her face*

Enter Baba…

Hey guys! I wanna have a little chat
...more
 ♥  Barb ♥

*****5 Bring it on home, Wallbanger stars*****




This was me 95% of the book...

laughing gifs photo: Hahaha! Secret-laughing.gif


and more laughing....

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*****************************************


This is the story of wallbanging photographer Simon and interior designer Caroline. Their apartments are across the hall from each other and the walls are very very thin....so you can hear everything that's going on in each other's apartments. Are you following me so far? Well, Simon doesn't do relationships, flowers, etc....and one night while
...more
Nenia ⚡ Aspiring Evil Overlord ⚡ Campbell

Instagram || Twitter || Facebook || Amazon || Pinterest


I read this for the Unapologetic Romance Readers' New Years 2018 Reading Challenge, for the category of: Contemporary Romance. For more info on this challenge, click here.



WALLBANGER by Alice Clayton is aptly named, because when I finished this book, I wanted to throw it at the wall, it was so bad.



I wanted to read this book because I love romance novels and people were saying that it was the funniest romance novel they had ever read.
...more
Jodi Malpas
Dec 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Just what I needed!

During a pretty mad point in my year end, Alice Clayton put the smile on my face I so needed.
I loved Caroline, although she was a little crackers, but I've got to cut the girl some slack because if I'd have been lacking in the area in which she was oh so lacking, then I guess I would be a bit of a loose canon too.

Enter Simon. The flirting, sexual tension and innuendos that were batting between these two almost me had me wishing I could magic myself into the scene to rip
...more
Samantha Young
freaking hilarious and hot read!
✝✝ Ⓓaisy ❣ ✝✝

This book is effin' hilarious...... I was laughing non-stop for sure....And Harriet, my mate only made it double exciting

When I picked up the first page, I was

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And we move, 50% dear me,

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By 85% I was equally frustrated with her, chasing her Big O, and Simon is ain't helping at all! Damn, UST is way too much!

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Finally, I was screaming with at happiness at 92% and in love!

 photo Mila-Kunis-Laughing-And-Wiping-The-Tears-Away-Reaction-Gif.gif

What I can say more, I really really had fun with Simon, Caroline, Clive (such a character)!!!!! Let's meet them <3
...more
XxTainaxX Curvy and Nerdy
I realize that I'm probably in the minority here but while I found the story funny at times, I just didn't find it fulfilling. Caroline has a very unique way of thinking and comes across bit quirky which I like :) I really respected how Simon approached the development of this new relationship which made him all the more likeable as he could have blown our expectations out of the planet with how entangled his web was. Caroline and Simon felt a product of circumstance and matchmaking more than ...more
Samantha Young
Feb 12, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Hilarious and sexy! One of my favourites.
Jessi ♥️ H. Vojsk

“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot.
His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment.
“Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.”


Story
When I was a little younger, I sometimes had a crush on a boy I didn’t even know.
Just handsome boys I saw and thought I really liked.
When I thought about them I had all the stupid-teenage fantasies.
In these fantasies everything was perfect - he was nice, funny, cooking was no problem at all for him and he was actually liking me back.
There
...more
AJ
Essential elements of a sensational romantic comedy novel:

Strong, sarcastically hilarious heroine – Check
Gorgeously sexy, hot hero – OMG, check, check and CHECK!!!!
Sizzling chemistry – Check
Hilariously rude flirting – Check
Wickedly sensational banter – HELL YEAH Check
Swoony romance – Check
Steam factor – Holy hell, CHECK!

Love, love, love this book! It was hilarious, gorgeously swoony, and so much fun!

“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozen on the spot.
His grin slid off as well as he played
...more
Evgeny
Oct 22, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: romance
DNF at 70%.

Warning: as the majority of the book is dealing with heroine's obsession with sex - or its absence to be exact - my review inevitably falls into R rating. So if you are under 18 stop reading right here, or your mom will make you stand in the corner and will not give you any sweets.

Caroline Reynolds led an exciting life of a single woman rapidly approaching her middle age: she was working hard finding fulfillment in her work, often went to a bar with two of her single girlfriends to
...more
♥ Jx PinkLady Reviews ♥
5 Wallbanging Stars



This is one of those stories that has made me fall completely and madly in book love, I can't believe I nearly never read it???? What was I thinking?!!

Sexual frustration
Wanting
Needing
Allowing yourself more
*All experienced in this book*

Wallbanger has a cast of wonderful characters led by our hero and heroine, Simon and Caroline, and featuring Clive, a cat.... lol, he's a comedy star!

The premise of the story is Caroline has a new neighbour, Simon.... he likes his ladies and
...more
Fathima
Photobucket

This book cured me of my HUGE reading funk !!!!!

4 stars for the story and the humor + 1 extra star for the last two chapters ! Damn I loved that bit ..... a lot !

Goodreads just 'over capacity'ed me , so I'm gonna try posting my review another day !

In the mean time , READ this book ! Its fuckin hilarious and awesome !

Edit : 30/11/2012

Now, Backbone and Brain were solidly in the wait-for-sex camp, believing this essential to the foundation of this burgeoning relationship. LC ( Lower
...more
Wendy'sThoughts
Sep 25, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everybody
4 Simon Baker-The Mentalist, Flirty, Banter, Baked Goods Stars
**** Spoiler Free
Dear Ms. Clayton,
I am writing to you as I know you have a close personal relationship with Simon, Caroline and their posse. I wanted to first congratulate you on excellent taste. You telling us about these people in the way that you did, just brightened up my day. It was such a change to see grown up, evolved professionals behave as friends, looking out for one another and interacting in a respectful manner. That
...more
Shurrn
Wallbanger is the literary equivalent of a long night giggling with your best friend over cocktails & pints of ice-cream… It just makes you feel good



Nights like that might not be life altering… but they'll stick with you all the same. A fond memory you can draw on when you're having a rough day. This book will affect you in a similar way.

We all know the premise...
Caroline moves into a new condo and is repeatedly woken up by her neighbor's headboard banging into the wall...
After
...more
Jilly


I had a good time reading this with my friends at the abtastic ab-loving geishas, but I did find it a little juvenile and shallow. Funny - but juvenile and shallow.

The best part of the book was Clive the Cat. Clyde falls in love with a girl who meows, attacks his owner's new boyfriend's head, and even flips off Caroline.

"Shut it, Clive," I hissed. A paw came out through the crack and I swear he flipped me off...

I can honestly say that this is the first cat I've ever liked. I've always known
...more
Aileene


And the Wallbanger book is born.



The Abtastic Ab Loving Geishas



And the date was set & the Wallbanger enthusiasts started reading.

2-3 days after.



F* no. This is not a 5 star read.



Oh boy. *mouths* Someone's not happy.

Ok. To explain. It started out good. Really good, actually.
It was hilarious and the story held my interest....at first.
Heck, who wouldn't be addicted to you when you can squeeze orgasm out of a woman's vagina like I do with my juicing oranges every morning?
But while this was a cute
...more
Muse-ic ♬
I dunno. It was cute up until they went to Spain. After that, I just kind of lost interest......
To be fair though, it was overall better than I was expecting.

HOWEVER!
I need to mention this because I'M FUCKING SICK OF EVERY MALE LEAD IN EROTICAS HAVING 200 PACK ABS!
THIS GUY IS LITERALLY A PHOTOGRAPHER FOR A LIVING AND THERE IS ZERO MENTION OF HIM GOING TO THE GYM ON A REGULAR BASIS. DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD IT IS TO GET ABS? IF YOU'RE NOT CONSTANTLY WORKING OUT, EATING THE MOST SPECIFIC DIET (and
...more
Wendy Darling
This should probably be a 2 star rating because it wasn't awful, but I really just didn't like it at all. The sex wasn't spectacular, and I didn't find this as funny or cute or hot as everyone else seems to. Oh, well.
Smitten's Book Blog




Laugh-out-loud, snort-tea-through-your-nose, stupid-grin-on-your-face funny!

I found that this took a little while to get going. At about the 25% mark, it was dragging and I was thinking to myself 'Ok, so? Come on, get to the point.' And then it did!

And it was hilariously funny, brilliantly witty, yet adorably romantic and incredibly sexy! Yep, all of those things rolled into one book.

Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants. To be clear, I wore the pink
...more
Rosalinda *KRASNORADA*


3.5 stars



Ok, let's keep this short and sweet...

This book was OKAY but just okay, nothing exciting. I was expecting much more but well, I guess I am in a book funk at the moment.

Simon and Caroline live in the same building. They meet each other because Simon is a Wall Banger. Yes, he f@cks different chicks every night and Caroline and her sweet and EVIL cat Clive can't sleep. So well, you're probably getting the picture... One night she knocks on his door and TA CHAN they see each other and
...more
Akanksha❤ Søren♰
Nov 04, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: celebrities
!!!Hump Alert!!!
description

Simon was just *swoon* Hot, loving, hot, sexy, smoking hot, sweet, caring and totally adorable!
Boy, did he BANG with wall out of wallbanging! LOL
Caroline, Independent, refreshing, lovely, sweet, pretty and hot! ;)
Liked her character, not the normal Bella types who whines, who's clingy, pissing off etc!

The book wasn't HA HA funny but it was very humorous, had amazing punch lines and nasty double meaning rounds going ;)
The characters were nice and something fresh.. enjoyed them
...more
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Cast for the movie 31 1384 Oct 16, 2019 07:21AM  
Eclectic Readers: Episode 38: Wallbanger 1 2 May 18, 2019 02:08PM  
Romances about getting back her "o" 1 30 Mar 12, 2018 05:20AM  
YA Buddy Readers'...: Wallbanger (Cocktail #1) By Alice Clayton - Restarting February 20th 2018 54 59 Mar 01, 2018 05:14PM  
WALLBANGER FILM 26 1406 Jun 29, 2017 05:44AM  
Eclectic Readers: Wallbanger 1 10 Jun 24, 2017 06:17PM  

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14,298 followers
ALICE CLAYTON worked in the cosmetics industry for over a decade before picking up a pen (read laptop).

She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up, and finally convinced her long-time boyfriend to marry her.

Now, about that Bernese Mountain dog.

Other books in the series

Cocktail (4 books)
  • Rusty Nailed (Cocktail, #2)
  • Screwdrivered (Cocktail, #3)
  • Mai Tai'd Up (Cocktail, #4)
“He was wooing me. And I was letting him woo. I wanted the woo. I deserved the woo. I needed the wow that would surely follow the woo, but for now, the woo? It was whoa.” 619 likes
“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot.
His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.”
457 likes
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