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Wallbanger (Cocktail #1)

4.1  ·  Rating details ·  145,602 Ratings  ·  11,853 Reviews
The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) li ...more
Paperback, 365 pages
Published August 13th 2013 by Gallery Books (first published November 27th 2012)
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Kassandra As Isabelle said, there is a sequel called Rusty Nailed. There is also another book written about these two characters that just came out called Last…moreAs Isabelle said, there is a sequel called Rusty Nailed. There is also another book written about these two characters that just came out called Last Call. There are also two other books that aren't about those characters, but they are about characters that you meet briefly in Rusty Nailed(less)

Community Reviews

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Aestas Book Blog
Aug 29, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites



This book was brilliant!!
Pure gold!
I’m in love with Simon.
Completely, utterly in love.
My cheeks ache from laughing.
My heart is happy.
Did I mention I love this book?

This book was pure, decadent, lighthearted, un-put-downable, FUN!! A well-written, perfect blend of all things happy, romantic, sweet, funny (hilarious, really), melty, swoony, witty, steamy, with just enough tender, deeper moments to make my heart squeeze.
Nov 30, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition

Oh God............


Oh God................





BUT Wait A Sec...........Not an earthquake...........nope, definitely not an earthquake.......One, only one wall is shaking.....LI
Blacky *Romance Addict*

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Text messages between The Book and Blacky :

So, what do you think about me?
Well you weren't short at all :D
Well yeah I'm pretty long... and thick...
Just about average I'd say
Pfttt you are average missy! Didn't you like all the humor?
Yeah it was good I guess, the scene with Dr. Ross was the best :D
Ohhhh yes, makes me think of dirty things, that man. I wish I had my O back :(
Yes, I wish it too! Your O brought more frustration to me than it did to you!
Whatcha sayin'? You didn't like all the
Have you ever been in the honeymoon phase with someone? You know, that dreamy world where everything the other person does is magic and you can’t seem to get enough of each other?

Usually during this time you go AWOL from the rest of your lives for a few weeks and mash your squishy bits together 24/7.

At some point (usually when chafing forces you out of your hormone induced frenzy) you remember there are other people in your life and so you emerge from your lust-filled cocoon and introduce this
Mar 02, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
“Kittens,lay back.You are about to get Wallbanged.”

I was an addict craving her dose.I was lost in a dull world full of mundane stuff for so long I almost became a mundane myself.After a month of abstinence from reading and severe book deprivation,after long days and bookless nights,the time came to return where I belong.And I had to celebrate!I wanted something light.I wanted saucy and funny and Wallbanger promised to deliver them all.And oh boy,it did!But it also delivered sweet,and fluffy,
Review posted at: Swept Away By Romance

3 1/2 to 4 stars

There's no doubt Wallbanger is a fun, delightful, moderately sexy, feel-good read that bordered on the ANNOYING. There were times I felt like wallbanging my head against the wall with the amount of unresolved sexual tension this poor couple was put through. Geez! This particular aspect of the story became so frustrating.

I enjoyed getting to know the two main characters, Simon and Caroline. They were endearing, playful–maybe a little immat
Nov 03, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: arc-by-author
ETA: downgraded to 3 stars. September 20, 2015.

"Hello O! Nice to see you again. With his lips he brought me one."

3.5 stars. I mean it. And I want half stars!

Once upon a time there was a missing O. The pressure of an O long denied, waiting patiently—and sometimes impatiently—for her release. Lucky you, because you found The Wallbanger.
Simon: How’s the pressure now?
Caroline: Do you want me to hurt you? Shut it! *a look of dreamy bliss on her face*
Enter Baba…
Hey guys! I wanna have a little
Dec 03, 2012 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: bored-now, dnf
What is with these 'OMG! Super-Hot! Fun!' books that become all the rage here on GR lately? And they are all the same.

A Mary Sue heroine with a perfect job and perfect friends who looks perfect but for some reason is alone and sexually frustrated. And she's all kinds of batshit about her perceptions of men or sex or men AND sex. Thus, the heroine of what exactly?

Then the hero. Well he's of course otherworldly gorgeous and fit, although he puts absolutely no effort into becoming that way, and mo
 ♥  Barb ♥

*****5 Bring it on home, Wallbanger stars*****

This was me 95% of the book...

laughing gifs photo: Hahaha! Secret-laughing.gif

and more laughing....

laughing gifs photo: Office laughing wcnv4j.gif


This is the story of wallbanging photographer Simon and interior designer Caroline. Their apartments are across the hall from each other and the walls are very very you can hear everything that's going on in each other's apartments. Are you following me so far? Well, Simon doesn't do relationships, flowers, etc....and one night while BANGING(yes
♡Karlyn P♡
Oct 27, 2013 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: dnf, audiobook

So disappointed! This book went from "O.M.G!" to a big fat "D.N.F." at 75%

I really (and I mean REALLY!) enjoyed the opening of this book, and was looking forward to a great read. But in the end, I gave it too much of my time and finally just had to call it quits.

Oh, it started off so funny and original. The 'Wallbanger' and 'Cock blocker' jokes were cute. Simon was such a mystery, and Caroline was a person I would love to hang with if she was a real person. Her conversations with her cat had me
Samantha Young
freaking hilarious and hot read!
Jodi Malpas
Dec 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Just what I needed!

During a pretty mad point in my year end, Alice Clayton put the smile on my face I so needed.
I loved Caroline, although she was a little crackers, but I've got to cut the girl some slack because if I'd have been lacking in the area in which she was oh so lacking, then I guess I would be a bit of a loose canon too.

Enter Simon. The flirting, sexual tension and innuendos that were batting between these two almost me had me wishing I could magic myself into the scene to rip thei
✝✝ Ⓓaisy ❣ ✝✝

This book is effin' hilarious...... I was laughing non-stop for sure....And Harriet, my mate only made it double exciting

When I picked up the first page, I was

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And we move, 50% dear me,

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By 85% I was equally frustrated with her, chasing her Big O, and Simon is ain't helping at all! Damn, UST is way too much!

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Finally, I was screaming with at happiness at 92% and in love!

 photo Mila-Kunis-Laughing-And-Wiping-The-Tears-Away-Reaction-Gif.gif

What I can say more, I really really had fun with Simon, Caroline, Clive (such a character)!!!!! Let's meet them <3

Samantha Young
Feb 12, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Hilarious and sexy! One of my favourites.
I realize that I'm probably in the minority here but while I found the story funny at times, I just didn't find it fulfilling. Caroline has a very unique way of thinking and comes across bit quirky which I like :) I really respected how Simon approached the development of this new relationship which made him all the more likeable as he could have blown our expectations out of the planet with how entangled his web was. Caroline and Simon felt a product of circumstance and matchmaking more than an ...more
Essential elements of a sensational romantic comedy novel:

Strong, sarcastically hilarious heroine – Check
Gorgeously sexy, hot hero – OMG, check, check and CHECK!!!!
Sizzling chemistry – Check
Hilariously rude flirting – Check
Wickedly sensational banter – HELL YEAH Check
Swoony romance – Check
Steam factor – Holy hell, CHECK!

Love, love, love this book! It was hilarious, gorgeously swoony, and so much fun!

“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozen on the spot.
His grin slid off as well as he played pla
♥ Jx PinkLady Reviews ♥
5 Wallbanging Stars ♥

This is one of those stories that has made me fall completely and madly in book love, I can't believe I nearly never read it???? What was I thinking?!!

Sexual frustration
Allowing yourself more
*All experienced in this book*

Wallbanger has a cast of wonderful characters led by our hero and heroine, Simon and Caroline, and featuring Clive, a cat.... lol, he's a comedy star!

The premise of the story is Caroline has a new neighbour, Simon.... he likes his ladies an

This book cured me of my HUGE reading funk !!!!!

4 stars for the story and the humor + 1 extra star for the last two chapters ! Damn I loved that bit ..... a lot !

Goodreads just 'over capacity'ed me , so I'm gonna try posting my review another day !

In the mean time , READ this book ! Its fuckin hilarious and awesome !

Edit : 30/11/2012

Now, Backbone and Brain were solidly in the wait-for-sex camp, believing this essential to the foundation of this burgeoning relationship. LC ( Lower Carolin
Wallbanger is the literary equivalent of a long night giggling with your best friend over cocktails & pints of ice-cream… It just makes you feel good

Nights like that might not be life altering… but they'll stick with you all the same. A fond memory you can draw on when you're having a rough day. This book will affect you in a similar way.

We all know the premise...
Caroline moves into a new condo and is repeatedly woken up by her neighbor's headboard banging into the wall...
After confrontin
Sep 25, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everybody
4 Simon Baker-The Mentalist, Flirty, Banter, Baked Goods Stars
Dear Ms. Clayton,
I am writing to you as I know you have a close personal relationship with Simon, Caroline and their posse. I wanted to first congratulate you on excellent taste. You telling us about these people in the way that you did, just brightened up my day. It was such a change to see grown up, evolved professionals behave as friends, looking out for one another and interacting in a respectful manner. That they weren’t perf

And the Wallbanger book is born.

The Abtastic Ab Loving Geishas

And the date was set & the Wallbanger enthusiasts started reading.

2-3 days after.

F* no. This is not a 5 star read.

Oh boy. *mouths* Someone's not happy.

Ok. To explain. It started out good. Really good, actually.
It was hilarious and the story held my first.
Heck, who wouldn't be addicted to you when you can squeeze orgasm out of a woman's vagina like I do with my juicing oranges every morning?
But while this was a cute

I had a good time reading this with my friends at the abtastic ab-loving geishas, but I did find it a little juvenile and shallow. Funny - but juvenile and shallow.

The best part of the book was Clive the Cat. Clyde falls in love with a girl who meows, attacks his owner's new boyfriend's head, and even flips off Caroline.

"Shut it, Clive," I hissed. A paw came out through the crack and I swear he flipped me off...

I can honestly say that this is the first cat I've ever liked. I've always known th
Smitten's Book Blog

Laugh-out-loud, snort-tea-through-your-nose, stupid-grin-on-your-face funny!

I found that this took a little while to get going. At about the 25% mark, it was dragging and I was thinking to myself 'Ok, so? Come on, get to the point.' And then it did!

And it was hilariously funny, brilliantly witty, yet adorably romantic and incredibly sexy! Yep, all of those things rolled into one book.

Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants. To be clear, I wore the pink
Rosalinda *KRASNORADA*

3.5 stars

Ok, let's keep this short and sweet...

This book was OKAY but just okay, nothing exciting. I was expecting much more but well, I guess I am in a book funk at the moment.

Simon and Caroline live in the same building. They meet each other because Simon is a Wall Banger. Yes, he f@cks different chicks every night and Caroline and her sweet and EVIL cat Clive can't sleep. So well, you're probably getting the picture... One night she knocks on his door and TA CHAN they see each other and the
“Kittens, lay back. You are about to get Wallbanged,”~Oh!My!God!H-O-T-N-E-S-S!MY SIMON WALLBANGER!!!!♥♥♥

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Uploaded with

♥♥♥ Simon Wallbanger. The book started with a lot of "thump-thump-spank me-thum-thump-meow,meow-thump-thump-giggles" the spanking, the meowing, the giggles belong to three different "harems" and the thumping was all done by the Giant Bed of Sin. Caroline, his neighbor, with a missing "O"got pissed with the nightly banging, bang his doors wearing her p
Akanksha❤ Søren♰
Nov 04, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: celebrities
!!!Hump Alert!!!

Simon was just *swoon* Hot, loving, hot, sexy, smoking hot, sweet, caring and totally adorable!
Boy, did he BANG with wall out of wallbanging! LOL
Caroline, Independent, refreshing, lovely, sweet, pretty and hot! ;)
Liked her character, not the normal Bella types who whines, who's clingy, pissing off etc!

The book wasn't HA HA funny but it was very humorous, had amazing punch lines and nasty double meaning rounds going ;)
The characters were nice and something fresh.. enjoyed them ;
Norah Una Sumner
“Oh, God .”
“Oh, God.”
Thump thump.
What the...
“Oh, God, that’s so good!”



I loved the characters,the story,the humor,the chemistry between Simon and Caroline,Caroline's best friends, CLIVE... Such a wonderful and quirky story that got me laughing out loud so many times.
I would swear, on a stack of Bibles in a court of actual law, that I heard my cat speak.
“Porrrrreeeennnnnya,” Clive said, and I whirled about.
In the span of five seconds, a thousand things happened: I saw Si
Duchess Nicole
Nov 04, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Lovers of sweet, funny contemporary romance
3.5 Stars
- Fun story
- A little sexy, but you've.....gotta.....wait....for it!
- A bit unbelievable
- Annoying cat, but also hilarious!!
- Really likeable, normal people...this was my favorite part.

While I enjoyed the story and got a few good chuckles out of it, once again I wasn't as enamored as everyone else seemed to be. I feel like the old grumpy Grandma sitting in her recliner hollering at everyone to quiet down. The story was fun and light with a nice sweet contemporary romance to read when yo
Jennifer Kyle
Aug 29, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
4 Wallbanging Stars!!


Alice Clayton’s tale of Caroline Reynolds a.k.a. ‘Pink Nightie Girl’ and Simon Parker a.k.a. ‘Wallbanger’ is a fun read!

Caroline has two great girlfriends, an amazing job and has just settled into her new apartment with her cat, Clive. The only thing missing thanks to Corey Weinstein is her “O”.

Soon Caroline and Clive find that the occupant of the apartment that shares her bedroom wall has a very active sex life. Through her peep hole she notes a rotation of three wom
Dec 03, 2012 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Deniz by: Alisa
Shelves: meh
i am still bouncing between 2 and 3 stars. why aren't there half stars?!!
its 2.5 Stars
The thing that made me bump this up to 3 stars was definitely the banter, it was super funny and sexy....
after thinking about it a bit.. i did bump it down after all. to much babbling and cliche. Actually other than the banter i didnt enjoy the book that much.

Honestly I ended up liking this more than I initially thought.
About 20% in I wouldn't even have given it 2stars.... it was just so cliche, and I found
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ALICE CLAYTON worked in the cosmetics industry for over a decade before picking up a pen (read laptop).

She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up, and finally convinced her long-time boyfriend to marry her.

Now, about that Bernese Mountain dog.
More about Alice Clayton...

Other Books in the Series

Cocktail (4 books)
  • Rusty Nailed (Cocktail, #2)
  • Screwdrivered (Cocktail, #3)
  • Mai Tai'd Up (Cocktail, #4)

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“He was wooing me. And I was letting him woo. I wanted the woo. I deserved the woo. I needed the wow that would surely follow the woo, but for now, the woo? It was whoa.” 610 likes
“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot.
His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.”
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