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Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

Tara Brach (Goodreads Author),

Jack Kornfield (Goodreads Author) (Contributor)

4.21 · Rating details · 15,790 ratings · 940 reviews

For many of us, feelings of deficiency are right around the corner. It doesn’t take much--just hearing of someone else’s accomplishments, being criticized, getting into an argument, making a mistake at work--to make us feel that we are not okay. Beginning to understand how our lives have become ensnared in this trance of unworthiness is our first step toward reconnecting w ...more

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Paperback, 333 pages

Published November 23rd 2004 by Bantam (first published October 1st 2000)

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Sep 28, 2015 Thomas rated it really liked it

Shelves: own-physical, nonfiction, psychology

How do we cope with unbearable pain? We drink, we eat, we smoke. We turn to our iPhones or our Facebook feeds or our video games. We lash out at ourselves or others. But what if instead of searching for external solutions, we learned how to cope with our pain - just by being with it? In her book Radical Acceptance, clinical psychologist and teacher of meditation Tara Brach urges us to do just that: accept ourselves and our pain, so we can treat ourselves with the care and kindness we deserve.

Rad ...more

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Jun 01, 2007 Robert rated it it was ok

Not overly impressive, but a nice and helpful book. Brach writes a treatise on how the integration of Buddhist spirituality and meditative practices (most often based in the Theravadan traditions of vipassana and metta) can partner with western psychotherapy to assist in healing and personal development.

Intellectually it is pretty lightweight, which isn’t to say that it doesn’t package and reiterate some helpful ideas in useful ways. My biggest challenge with the book was that I couldn’t really Not overly impressive, but a nice and helpful book. Brach writes a treatise on how the integration of Buddhist spirituality and meditative practices (most often based in the Theravadan traditions of vipassana and metta) can partner with western psychotherapy to assist in healing and personal development.

Intellectually it is pretty lightweight, which isn’t to say that it doesn’t package and reiterate some helpful ideas in useful ways. My biggest challenge with the book was that I couldn’t really figure out what she was trying to do: Is it a dharma book? A self-help book? An instructional book to therapists? Not that there can’t be some overlap, but it read to me as being a shallow bit of all of these without going deeply into any of them. Her “cases” are particularly weak as very quickly the recipe for them become clear (a client/patient is stuck or having some kind of intractable problem, works with Brach to integrate the cultivation of mindfulness and compassion, and presto change-o! All is well. It can also be difficult to read some of these without a touch of eye-rolling since in her descriptions of her patients post-practice often includes descriptions where they are “filled with light” “in touch with the great emptiness of awareness” etc (I’m paraphrasing).

Her breaking down of specific concepts and applying them (somewhat) systematically is helpful and for most of the book, a breezy read (I found the last few chapters that I was losing a bit of patience), and her inclusion of specific exercises and meditations connected to each concept by chapter is helpful. As, to whatever degree it is, the book has some role as a discussion and instructional guide for practitioner/therapists interested in integrating meditative practices and Buddhist spirituality into their work it would have been extremely helpful, and in my mind helped her cause of this as a serious discussion, if she had spent some focused time and energy on the challenges of doing so, some cases that didn’t go so well, places where the two traditions can seem (and maybe or maybe not be) contradictory or incompatible.

Those looking to specifically integrate mindfulness/vipassana connected traditions and practice to psychotherapy practice will find a pleasant snack here, but not a substantive meal. For a more interesting and more exploratory, and less evangelical (although no less passionate), discussion of the integration of psychotherapy (rooted mostly in psychodynamic theory) and Buddhism, try Mark Epstein’s books, “Thoughts Without a Thinker,” “Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart, “ and “Open to Desire.”
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Jan 08, 2020 Diane rated it liked it

Shelves: mindfulness, sociology-psychology

A friend had recommended Tara Brach's work to me, and I found this book to be very insightful and meaningful. Recommended for those interested in self-compassion and mindfulness.

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Dec 18, 2011 Kate rated it it was amazing

I think the perceptions of this book are directly related to the suffering and innate self hatred that the reader possesses. When the concept of lovingkindness is absolutely foreign to you then this book can save your life.

Something I absolutely cherish about this book is kind and gentle repetition. I would read a concept and compartmentalize it as something I either had heard before, already knew, or couldn't possibly work. Then she'd reintroduce the same concept with a case study, a personal ...more

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May 26, 2013 Caterina rated it really liked it

Shelves: american-author, spiritual-or-relig, psychology, woman-author, self-help, health-illness-healing, buddhism, trauma, favorites

This book offers much more than it first seems to. From introducing the Buddhist practice of mindfulness as applied to difficult experiences, it deepens and opens out into practices of radical compassion for oneself and others - radical lovingkindness. Working & practicing my way through this book very slowly over four months' time has been a tremendous gift. Tara Brach begins by teaching a new way of approaching emotionally intolerable situations - being overwhelmed and practically nonfunctiona This book offers much more than it first seems to. From introducing the Buddhist practice of mindfulness as applied to difficult experiences, it deepens and opens out into practices of radical compassion for oneself and others - radical lovingkindness. Working & practicing my way through this book very slowly over four months' time has been a tremendous gift. Tara Brach begins by teaching a new way of approaching emotionally intolerable situations - being overwhelmed and practically nonfunctional because of physical manifestations of anxiety, fear, desire, melancholy, depression, anger, embarrassment, as well as by a sense of unworthiness, guilt or shame. She delves into situations of interpersonal conflict, loss, grief, and learning to forgive when forgiveness seems impossible.

The practice begins centered in the self and slowly shifts over time to an outward focused, selfless practice of awareness and compassion. It begins by pausing, stepping back, and becoming fully aware of everything that is going on within and around oneself; and then regarding oneself and these experiences gently and without immediate judgment. With clear seeing and "radical acceptance" the situation and my own emotions may still exist but they are no longer completely disabling and in fact it might even be possible to appreciate them. I honestly do not always want to get rid of my sometimes intolerably intense emotions and responses to things because, as an artist, they form the fuel for the power and intensity of my art. But still, it can be hard to live with them in relationships as well as by myself. And - as the practice develops, lo and behold it becomes possible to shift from focus on oneself to focus on others, lovingkindness for others. To learn to live with in peace with myself and others - at least more of the time - is an indescribable blessing.

This is also a lovely book, filled with poetry by Rumi, Rilke and others. Tara Brach is quite vulnerable in sharing her personal stories, which may or may not appeal to everyone, but you do not have to have a story line similar to hers to appreciate the teachings. I have tagged many passages and poems to return to.

I first reviewed this book when I had only read it halfway through (twice) and thought I "got" it - but don't stop when you're halfway through, because the book is structured to deepen and expand as it goes along, building on previous knowledge, and the second half focuses most strongly on the practices of lovingkindness and is very worthwhile. ...more

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Jul 17, 2012 Jack Hart rated it really liked it

Shelves: meditation

One sometimes runs into folks who are suspicious of Buddhism and particularly of the capacity of westerners to find solace in an allegedly Buddhist perspective. I am not a Buddhist, but have found a lot of value in meditation--and in the ethical viewpoint roughly associated with Buddhist practice.

So if the discussion comes to exchanging book titles this is the one I recommend as an introduction to what I'll roughly call a Buddhist approach to suffering. There are better books on meditation. The
One sometimes runs into folks who are suspicious of Buddhism and particularly of the capacity of westerners to find solace in an allegedly Buddhist perspective. I am not a Buddhist, but have found a lot of value in meditation--and in the ethical viewpoint roughly associated with Buddhist practice.

So if the discussion comes to exchanging book titles this is the one I recommend as an introduction to what I'll roughly call a Buddhist approach to suffering. There are better books on meditation. There are better books on the Precepts--the founding concerns of Buddhist ethical life. There are better books on...Buddhist monastic life, lay life, activism, spirituality, sexuality, relation to psychotherapy, the tradition's kooks and heroes and Americanization.

But I don't think there's a better-voiced introductory book on the practical value of cultivating a Buddhist frame of mind in relation to suffering and what she calls "the trances" of everyday life. The first time an American from what is most likely a Christian background picks up a Buddhisty book it's likely to be pretty scary. Tara Brach seems to get that, and to address such seekers in an inviting and heart-opening way.

One of the things I like about this book is the many sources it draws on. It is personal, telling, for example, of joining an ashram and having a falling out with its leader, of a divorce, of difficulties in raising her son. It draws on her professional work, relating stories of exchanges that, as a psychotherapist, she has had with her clients. And most of all it is literary, skillfully so. She retells and interprets stories from the tradition, as well as anecdotes from contemporary American life, all to the end of introducing the outlines of a kind of consciousness she calls "Radical Acceptance."

There is a two star review by Robert who calls the book "pretty lightweight." I think I can see where he's coming from, although the way that I'd put it is that this book is highly syncretic. Robert damns the book's stylistic achievement with faint praise calling it "a breezy read." Here I would disagree. It does go down easy, but the "it" that goes down is a broad, passionate, intelligent, practical introduction to a rich spiritual tradition about which there is a growing curiosity. ...more

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Apr 28, 2013 Natalie rated it liked it

Shelves: non-fiction

So I don't usually read self-help books. At all. I kinda hate them. And I don't usually read hippy dippy Buddhist stuff either, because I get too scoffy.

When I started this one, I almost didn't go past the first chapter, because it was not really resonating with me at all. And parts of the book (like the closing chapter on discovering our true essence and realizing we are nothing but awareness..... super hippy dippy) totally fell flat.

But there were a few key sections, and really the overarchi ...more

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Mar 31, 2008 Martha rated it it was amazing

Kripalu Yoga is primarily a practice of compassion, and this book is it's perfect companion. The foundation of all yoga practice is acceptance, and it begins with ourselves. Feelings of deficiency are common to all of us. Being criticized, making mistakes, and experiencing relationship difficulties, all can make us feel unworthy. Our human suffering and our loneliness keep us from feeling fulfilled. Recognizing how we become trapped by these feelings is the first step in reconnecting with who we ...more

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Aug 18, 2008 Donna Kirk added it

about recognizing, with compassion, your own weaknesses and in the end, finding room to accept them and treat them with love; in effect, healing yourself.

It's like going over to a suffering plant in a garden and tending to it with care, feeding the soil, doing away with pests, giving it compost, sunlight, water; is, metaphorically, how this book suggests we deal with our own fragile, deeply human lives -- that by encouraging our friends and families to take care of themselves the same way, we c ...more

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Oct 07, 2016 Alex Orr rated it it was ok

Shelves: non-fiction-general, self-improvement

To some degree, I think what you get out of this book depends on what issues you are dealing with and what brought you to the book. Like a lot of folks, I heard about Tara from Tim Ferris's podcast. I enjoyed her episode and picked up the book mostly out of curiosity. I've been meditating for about a year and have been curious about ways to try and practice greater mindfulness in my everyday life. Tara's book does offer some insight into those areas, but the primary focus of the book is more dir To some degree, I think what you get out of this book depends on what issues you are dealing with and what brought you to the book. Like a lot of folks, I heard about Tara from Tim Ferris's podcast. I enjoyed her episode and picked up the book mostly out of curiosity. I've been meditating for about a year and have been curious about ways to try and practice greater mindfulness in my everyday life. Tara's book does offer some insight into those areas, but the primary focus of the book is more directly aimed at those suffering from some rather specific sets of emotional crises. Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect and don't have my own neuroses, but reading through the book, I rarely felt like the specific examples really applied to my life. In general, each chapter is based around a couple of extended stories about clients who Tara has worked with. I hate to sound too cynical, but after a while, they all start to blend into a very melodramatic, Freudian miasma of self-hate, childhood trauma, and parental resentment. In the end, almost every case involves Tara talking her client into a sort of hypnotic state and then the client realizing that st some point she was repressing some sort of horrible abuse fostered upon her by her parents when she was a child. Once Tara makes them realize that the abuse is not their fault, and they just need to accept the pain, they are magically cured. Never really having much in the way of self-hate, nor (to the best of my knowledge) ever having been abused by a family member as a child, all of the chapters seemed rather far from my own life. Furthermore, the way they all seemed to follow the same script seemed a bit too hard to believe. That said, if you do struggle with self-hatred due to repressed memories of child abuse, well, maybe this is the exact book you need. My other big qualm is that she never really fleshes out some of the philosophical difficulties with her idea of acceptance. It's all well and good to say that if the violent alcoholic who is forever remorseful about his alcoholism and violent behavior would just accept it and stop blaming himself then...well...what exactly? In Tara's world he'll magically stop being a violent alcoholic. But what if he simply makes peace with it and now behaves the same but without any guilt? For me, there were a few nuggets of wisdom in here, but as a whole, I found her basic notion underdeveloped and her examples to be a bit too perfectly tailored to support her central thesis to be believable. ...more

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Feb 21, 2009 Lavonne rated it it was amazing

Recommended to Lavonne by: Jennifer

Shelves: toptenspiritual

I have tried twice to read the Power of Now, and could never quite grasp what all the fuss was about. This book, Radical Acceptance, delivered the insights that I was supposed to get from the other book. It is basically talking about the same subjects, but Tara Brach brings a humanity to her approach that is sadly missing in Power of Now.

She has been persuing a spiritual path for many years and speaks with knowledge and compasison. Yet, she admits that when she is continuously approached by a d ...more

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Feb 23, 2019 Ellie rated it it was amazing

Shelves: kindle, 2018indch, 2019gpchallenge, spiritual

A wonderful book on accepting one's self and life exactly as they are (thus creating the possibility of change). Brach provides many wonderful meditations which I've already begun using and find very helpful.

The writing is clear and warm and easy to follow. It would be a fast read if there weren't so much to pay attention to. I was also slowed up because I stopped to use her different suggestions.

I also enjoyed her use of the examples of other people and their struggles (as well as their succes ...more

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Aug 12, 2008 Joe Rumbo rated it it was amazing

I've only read the previous edition, but I am here to tell you that Brach brings a message that is welcome tonic to the soul of anyone who has ever felt inadequate or unworthy for any reason. Usually these reasons have to do with culturally defined standards and ideals that no person can ever live up to fully. Brach skillfully weaves these influences together with psychological and Christianity-based explanations of how we live our lives in the 'trance of unworthiness,' and how we can move beyon ...more

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Jun 28, 2014 Amanda rated it it was ok

I tried to read this a second time and while it does have some nice points, it's nothing new to anyone who has ever read a book (or a dozen!) on mindfulness, Buddhism, etc.

Also, I always find it super depressing that people who have meditated for decades, and lead workshops and write entire books on the subject still deal daily with anger, depression, anxiety, etc. I know it's just part of being human and I should radically accept it, but man, does it get me down...

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Jun 22, 2011 Michelle rated it it was ok

If I pause and accept any more radically than I have come to realize I do, my husband will divorce me and my kids will starve.

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Jan 12, 2019 Caterina rated it it was amazing

Radical acceptance was suggested to me by my therapist, and since I’ve started listening to the audiobook, I’ve gone back to parts of it over and over. It's been enlightening more than any other self-help book I’ve read (which are not many, to be fair).

I'm not particularly spiritual, or good at sitting still and meditating. But, since I've been listening to this book, I've made more efforts throughout the day to hold a caring thought to my body and myself, especially in the moments in which I d Radical acceptance was suggested to me by my therapist, and since I’ve started listening to the audiobook, I’ve gone back to parts of it over and over. It's been enlightening more than any other self-help book I’ve read (which are not many, to be fair).

I'm not particularly spiritual, or good at sitting still and meditating. But, since I've been listening to this book, I've made more efforts throughout the day to hold a caring thought to my body and myself, especially in the moments in which I don't feel great about things. If it hasn't opened the gates of happiness, it definitely has helped in making me realize I spend way too much time running away from negative thoughts, and trying to distract myself with ephemeral things, rather than facing them.

The main message of the book is quite simple, but extremely important: many people in modern society, if not almost everyone, deep down feels a feeling of unworthiness, that we’re not enough to be loved the way we are. We keep attacking ourselves, and criticizing ourselves, treating ourselves with little kindness. We’re trapped in feelings of shame and guilt: we do not deserve to be happy, but all we look for is to be loved, to feel whole and happy.

Here is were radical acceptance comes to play: instead of running away from bad feelings, one has to look them in the eyes, to acknowledge them, to feel them. Rather than running away from the pain, one should hold its hands, and eventually she’ll go away on its own. Meeting sadness or pain as a part of life and existence, the way of the Buddha, rather than something to be run away form. A way in which one can hold on to this is through a body scan: once an unpleasant feeling starts to arise in the body, in the stomach, in the head or chest, that can be used as an anchor to understand what we’re feeling.

Once the suffering has been detected and acknowledged, the stage of compassion can initiate: instead of shoving the pain away, instead of feeling ashamed for suffering, the pain can be soothed by a deep compassion for oneself, a taking care of your own wounds.

We all commit mistakes, we all feel shame and guilt. But the first stage towards finding others’ forgiveness is accepting the pain, and feeling compassion for oneself.

It’s important to not confuse the acceptance of pain with playing victim, being resigned to suffer and giving in. That is not what radical acceptance should be about, according to TB: radical acceptance is a process that frees the mind from the anxieties, confusion and restlessness that negative emotions may arise, and in this way it creates space for the mind to see clearly, to engage in more thoughtful actions.
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Aug 03, 2019 Kelly added it

Shelves: audio-book, boldness-bravery-and-authenticity, read-in-2019

I listened to this after Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed and they went together really nicely. Brach is a therapist, but she's also a follower of Buddhism and weaves spiritual lessons and understandings with western therapeutic practices. I was really into this -- not all of it was new to me, and in fact, not much was because of my own background in this arena -- but it became outstanding when Brach talked about why there's a false dichotomy w ...more

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Oct 15, 2010 Kathryn rated it it was ok

Full marks for the gist and low marks for the execution. A little too self-helpy and over-written, yet the idea of bringing radical acceptance/compassion to ourselves and others is pretty much the only hope for emotional sanity in this world. But for content, economy, and grace, I'm finding Ezra Bayda's "Being Zen" to be a huge improvement. Let's just say Bayda's book is going on my shelves when I'm done. Brach's book is going to half.com.

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Feb 18, 2015 Heather Delia rated it did not like it

Shelves: yoga

I disliked this book enough to stop reading it with 75 pages left to go. No compelling reason to finish it. The meditations were nice, if someone were reading them...but you can't read it and meditate at the same time. I found the book to be very repetitive and somewhat annoying.

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Jun 03, 2020 Nicole rated it it was amazing

Shelves: health, life-changing, philosophy, buddhism, psychology, religion, non-fiction, spirituality

I've been studying Buddhism since I went to India in 2006 to learn from Geshe Sonam Rinchen at the Tibetan Library and Archives in Dharmasala, India, and with the Dalai Lama at a mass teaching. Translating a religion from one culture to another is an immense task, and one that has been happening seriously for Buddhism the only in the last fifty years or so.

I first came to Buddhism because I was raised by an atheist and a new ager, and wanted to be part of an organized religion but felt uncomfor I've been studying Buddhism since I went to India in 2006 to learn from Geshe Sonam Rinchen at the Tibetan Library and Archives in Dharmasala, India, and with the Dalai Lama at a mass teaching. Translating a religion from one culture to another is an immense task, and one that has been happening seriously for Buddhism the only in the last fifty years or so.

I first came to Buddhism because I was raised by an atheist and a new ager, and wanted to be part of an organized religion but felt uncomfortable with God and the Bible. Yet as much as I loved Buddhist philosophy, the spiritual communities that have sprung up around it here in the US can be difficult to navigate. The intense hierarchy of a collectivist based culture such as Tibet translates poorly into the individualistic one of the West, and both teachers and students here can easily loose their way. I was able to scratch the surface, but there was much that was lost on me. With our American drive for excellence and superiority, it's easy to be pretentious and competitive in one's quest for spiritual understanding, and all I can say for myself is that I'm very glad I am open to being mistaken.

Western teachers such as Tara Brach are vitally important in this work of culturally translating Buddhism. This book brings clarification to practicing Buddhism as a westerner, and it makes sense that it is psychologists who are also practitioners that are able to be the most effective at this. Brach spells out insights for us in a way that is relatable and full of humility. Meditation isn't disconnecting into a realm apart from the self, it's about connecting with the self and riding through the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings we have until we're able to address the baggage they contain. Compassion is entwined completely with accepting oneself, warts and all, so that we can accept others as they are, warts and all. We all have Buddha-nature. Uncovering it is not the work of a moment, but a continual effort of quieting ourselves in a sea of uncertainty and hardships.

I don't know if I read this work earlier in my life if I would have gotten as much out of it as I have now. I could have easily dismissed it in my need to see myself as intellectual and discerning. Brach liberally blends lineages within both Theravada and Mahayana Buddhism, and uses the format of a self-help book. But what is spirituality but self-help? Religion and philosophy should ultimately be practical everyday ideas that help us live a better life. Buddhism strives to help us realize that we have the answers within us right now, and Brach is doing the same thing. The Dharma comes in many formats, from the Unitarian Universalist ministry I currently attend, to this book. We just have to be open to receiving it. ...more

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Jun 01, 2018 Beverly Fox rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites, self-help

I picked up this book because it seemed like a more mindful exploration of Self Compassion, and the prologue certainly leads one to believe that this is the case. She speaks of her own struggles with the behaviors that keep us all trapped in an endless loop of trying to prove ourselves good enough to a critic (ourselves) that will never approve. And she offers meditation- true Buddhist meditation practices akin to what I imagine are used in ashrams and monasteries across the world- as the path t ...more

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Dec 15, 2015 Jenny Whetzel rated it it was amazing

I loved this book! I was taking DBT weekly group meetings where we practiced awareness. I recently stopped going as I "graduated." However, I soon realized I began to lack the precious skills I had learned. I began to read this at a slow pace, thinking that every so often I could refresh my memory and pick up my slack in that department. It helped.

One reason I wanted to read this was because there are many parts in my life which I have difficulty accepting. I have already been working on accep ...more

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Dec 14, 2018 Jenn "JR" rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: psyc-mindfulness-spirituality

These days, it feels like emotional reasoning and unchecked emotional responses are endorsed and increasingly seen as the default or "right" way of behaving. We are encouraged to indulge in whatever we want and feel as being our right and the best way of being in the world. I can't help but think that's not right -- and all the books I have read about leadership, emotional development, connecting with people and meditation recommend a higher level of self awareness and just taking a pause before These days, it feels like emotional reasoning and unchecked emotional responses are endorsed and increasingly seen as the default or "right" way of behaving. We are encouraged to indulge in whatever we want and feel as being our right and the best way of being in the world. I can't help but think that's not right -- and all the books I have read about leadership, emotional development, connecting with people and meditation recommend a higher level of self awareness and just taking a pause before reacting emotionally.

Tara Brach has a very excellent writing style -- this book isn't emotionally or intellectually heavy, and there is some repetition but it's all done with very clearly written and engaging examples from cases studies of actual people and mythology.

I especially appreciate the recurring theme of "Mara" as the demon of fear/shame. Step into that fear and accept and experience it -- and you'll find that you defuse the power of that as soon as you choose to do so (vs giving it power by running and hiding from it).

The key points for me in this book are of mindfulness -- just being present, learning to expand your awareness to feel greater compassion for others and yourself, appreciating the current experience and being open to more choices about what is available. And - the illusion of "self" - we all share the same desires and fears.

The basic orientation of Buddhist belief is that all people want to feel loved and belong -- I wish I could believe that is true of all people, but there are so many examples in my life that run counter to that belief.

One of the most powerful stories is shared early in the book -- about a woman who is visiting her dying elderly mother: "One morning before dawn, she suddenly opened her eyes and looked clearly and intently at her daughter. “You know,” she whispered softly, “all my life I thought something was wrong with me.” Shaking her head slightly, as if to say, “What a waste,” she closed her eyes and drifted back into a coma. Several hours later she passed away."

This is the struggle -- all people feel we are doing it wrong, something is wrong with us and we make ourselves feel separate from others. Especially in our culture - and not helped by social media - we are surrounded by messages that we're all doing it wrong, rather than inspiring us to connect, it leaves us feeling incomplete - making our culture the strongest practitioner of "divide and conquer."

Really a good book - I may buy a paperback copy as a keeper for an annual re-read!
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Nov 11, 2019 John Hannam rated it it was amazing

Shelves: best-reads, personal-development, own

A truly fantastic book.

For anyone struggling with mental health issues this is an excellent resource and wealth of support. I cannot emphasize the importance self-care is for someone to maintain a healthy mental state. This book provides insights into how we can approach all aspects of our life, develop lasting positive relationships, and fully engage in a world that desperately wants us to show up.

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Aug 31, 2019 Suziey rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Okay, this is a self-help book I can get behind! Brach is a psychotherapist and it really shows. And I mean that in a good way! Listening to the audiobook was like therapy. I've implemented some of the things I learned from this book into my own life and things are going great. I particularly liked how she incorporated real stories into the book. Made it so much more relatable. Definitely recommend this book!!

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Apr 07, 2020 Jenny Xu rated it liked it

This book was a compassionate look into why we are so harsh on ourselves and how to forgive. I’m not Buddhist but I found the reading fairly insightful though a bit long.

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Jun 24, 2020 Kyle rated it liked it

I appreciated this perspective on spirituality and wellness. The emphasis on pausing, feeling, and accepting was a useful lens for examining my own faith and culture.

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Jul 14, 2018 Sarah rated it it was amazing

Shelves: spirituality, pyschology, non-fiction, self-help

Radical Acceptance is a powerful, transformative book. Tara Brach combines insight (or mindfulness/awareness) meditation practice with psychotherapy to paint a picture of how we can reach greater freedom, equanimity, self-compassion, and compassion for others through acknowledging and accepting all of our emotions and thoughts. Acceptance of emotions, feelings, thoughts, and sensations does not equate to accepting all behaviors and actions. Rather, the fundamental insight is that if an emotion o Radical Acceptance is a powerful, transformative book. Tara Brach combines insight (or mindfulness/awareness) meditation practice with psychotherapy to paint a picture of how we can reach greater freedom, equanimity, self-compassion, and compassion for others through acknowledging and accepting all of our emotions and thoughts. Acceptance of emotions, feelings, thoughts, and sensations does not equate to accepting all behaviors and actions. Rather, the fundamental insight is that if an emotion or thought is happening, there is great freedom to be found in allowing it to happen and feeling it fully, rather than trying to ignore it or push it away -- pushing away painful emotions actually cause us more pain in the long run.

This book is essentially a recipe for learning how to do therapy on yourself. I have worked with a therapist for awhile but in reading this book, developing a daily meditation practice, and working with Tara's exercises, I have developed a greater ability to hold space for myself and allow myself to work through emotions without needing another person present helping me. The power of this work is truly amazing to me!

There is a bias in the book towards working with difficult, challenging emotions and past traumas. Some of the examples did not resonate strongly with me because I do not have a lot of trauma to work through, but rather just the day-to-day stresses of living and recognition of patterns I have fallen into that cause me suffering. However, I found that I was able to take her words and examples and translate them well to my own experiences.

If you are interested in developing a daily mindfulness practice but not quite ready to take on emotions head-on, then another book may be a better starting point (such as Wherever You Go, There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn, which I'm partway through and finding to be a great, practical guide). However, I feel that true mindfulness does involve facing, accepting, and feeling your emotions fully and so it is unavoidable that you will start encountering the types of things that Tara addresses.

Overall, one of the best parts of the book is the amazing compassion and clear understanding of the human condition that Tara puts into every sentence she writes. Reading it was liking being held and understood thoroughly. It is a book to read slowly and work through at a pace that you are comfortable with, trying out the exercises and sticking with things even if you feel stuck or it feels difficult. If you feel ready to do that, I highly recommend this book! ...more

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Feb 23, 2017 Megan rated it it was amazing

Feeling compassion for ourselves in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions. Rather, it releases us from the self-hatred that prevents us from responding to our life with clarity and balance.

This book hit home on so many issues for me. Kindness and compassion, for others, but also for ourselves.

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Sep 07, 2017 Bella marked it as did-not-complete

I came across the title of this book reading on a forum in which a member made the recommendation of the book to another who was in some sort of distress. Being somewhat familiar with the notion of "radical acceptance", I was curious to check out the book of the same title, probably expecting something that turned out to be a bit different than what this book has offered me so far (I decided to stop at p.48). What I learnt up to this point of the book was that Brach was committed to some sort of ...more

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About Tara Brach

Tara Brach

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Tara Brach is a leading western teacher of Buddhist meditation, emotional healing and spiritual awakening. She has practiced and taught meditation for over 40 years, with an emphasis on vipassana (mindfulness or insight) meditation. Tara is the senior teacher and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. A clinical psychologist, Tara is the author of Radical Acceptance: Embracing ...more

Books by Tara Brach

True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart

Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN

Radical Self-Acceptance: A Buddhist Guide to Freeing Yourself from Shame

Meditations for Emotional Healing: Finding Freedom in the Face of Difficulty

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“Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns...We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.” — 152 likes

“Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain.” — 121 likes

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