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How NOT to Train a Zombie
How does a thirteen-year old become the most popular kid in 8th grade? He trains a zombie to be a pet... And that's exactly what Max Taylor plans to do, even if he had to lie, steal, and lose his best friend in the process.
182 pages, Paperback
First published February 10, 2013
162 people want to read
About the author
Annie Rachel Cole
9 books11 followersI live in Texas with my husband, son, and two cats who think they run the place. I read, write, play Texas Hold’em poker, and occasionally compete in BBQ competitions with my husband. Our team name is Outcast Cookers. I also teach in a public school.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
April 29, 2013
The science fair is coming up, and for eight grader Max that means one thing- a chance to become one of the most popular kids in school. The catch? Well.... He's going to have to break at least a dozen rules and laws. But in the end it'll be worth it, if he can just catch and train a zombie... Won't it?
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As with most zombie books, I was hoping that this would be the one to turn me. I thought that by maybe going towards a middle grade age, I would find the zombie genre cuter and more endearing. Unfortunately, my streak of bad zombie books continues. This book is written like an episode of Scooby-Doo... If Shaggy wasn't a cowardly lovable character.
-The lead character, Max, is a jerk. And he continues to be throughout the entire course of the book. It starts with him trying to peer pressure his best friend Chad into doing something against the law- catching a zombie and keeping it in his home. Max somehow paints Chad into the bad guy, even though he stood up for his morals and said that being popular wasn't everything, and that Max should just be himself. Then there's the fact that he hates on his mom for seemingly no reason. He's embarrassed to the point of anger because she.... Gardens? Not drugs, not stripping. But gardening. What?. Then, not unlike Golum from the Lord of the Rings, he becomes obsessed with obtaining a zombie. So, he decides to partner up with the class geek, since his dad is a certified zombie catcher. Eddy, the geek, makes it clear that he wants nothing to do with zombies, and yet Max emotionally manipulates him by using his dead mother into doing things that will only benefit Max. Time goes by, and a zombie is eventually obtained. Even when the geek agrees to help Max despite their falling out Max is still rude and insulting. Let the zombies get him, I say.
-Stemming off of that, this book isn't very believable. And yes, I am saying that about a zombie book. But the surrealism has naught to do with the undead, but the living. Max is supposedly this bottom of the totem pole level of popularity. Yet, when the bully (using gay jokes, naturally) starts trouble with him, he smarts off. Not only that, but he smarts off and then doesn't get his butt kicked..... If he's such a weenie, he wouldn't have been so, forgive my language, ballsy. And even if he was, the bully would have NO DOUBT found him. No convenient distractions or anything. Bullies fight. That's what they do. And then there's his mother's involvement with his friendships. My mother never questioned me when I stopped hanging out with people, just when I started hanging out with new ones.
-This book, ultimately, had a negative tone to it throughout. Max is a jerk, his best friend is somehow portrayed as one, his mom is portrayed as one, Eddy is snippy, and his dad is a villain out of no where (who actually uses the phrase "meddling brats"). It all seemed a bit thrown together and dark, with no major happy resolve...
-Unless you count the epilogue, which I do not, since it was essentially just a few pages to connect loose ends that weren't handled in the actual plot.
-+There's a few grammatical errors in the text, but it wasn't enough to deter from the story.
+Despite my issues with this story, I did like that each chapter started with a Texas state law or public service announcement regarding the dangers of zombies and the consequences of interacting with them. It gave a clear insight into the type of society this book is set in, and how much trouble Max was going to be in if he got caught.
Maybe I'm just a cynical old person now who can't appreciate kid's literature. However, I couldn't get past Max's insufferable-ness, and it disconnected me from the majority of the book. If I were to recommend this, it would be to kids/young adults in junior high, namely boys. I appreciate the concept of this story, but for me it just fell flat.
Thank you to Word Spelunking blog and the author for my copy. This review can also be found on my blog, Bitches n Prose.
---
As with most zombie books, I was hoping that this would be the one to turn me. I thought that by maybe going towards a middle grade age, I would find the zombie genre cuter and more endearing. Unfortunately, my streak of bad zombie books continues. This book is written like an episode of Scooby-Doo... If Shaggy wasn't a cowardly lovable character.
-The lead character, Max, is a jerk. And he continues to be throughout the entire course of the book. It starts with him trying to peer pressure his best friend Chad into doing something against the law- catching a zombie and keeping it in his home. Max somehow paints Chad into the bad guy, even though he stood up for his morals and said that being popular wasn't everything, and that Max should just be himself. Then there's the fact that he hates on his mom for seemingly no reason. He's embarrassed to the point of anger because she.... Gardens? Not drugs, not stripping. But gardening. What?. Then, not unlike Golum from the Lord of the Rings, he becomes obsessed with obtaining a zombie. So, he decides to partner up with the class geek, since his dad is a certified zombie catcher. Eddy, the geek, makes it clear that he wants nothing to do with zombies, and yet Max emotionally manipulates him by using his dead mother into doing things that will only benefit Max. Time goes by, and a zombie is eventually obtained. Even when the geek agrees to help Max despite their falling out Max is still rude and insulting. Let the zombies get him, I say.
-Stemming off of that, this book isn't very believable. And yes, I am saying that about a zombie book. But the surrealism has naught to do with the undead, but the living. Max is supposedly this bottom of the totem pole level of popularity. Yet, when the bully (using gay jokes, naturally) starts trouble with him, he smarts off. Not only that, but he smarts off and then doesn't get his butt kicked..... If he's such a weenie, he wouldn't have been so, forgive my language, ballsy. And even if he was, the bully would have NO DOUBT found him. No convenient distractions or anything. Bullies fight. That's what they do. And then there's his mother's involvement with his friendships. My mother never questioned me when I stopped hanging out with people, just when I started hanging out with new ones.
-This book, ultimately, had a negative tone to it throughout. Max is a jerk, his best friend is somehow portrayed as one, his mom is portrayed as one, Eddy is snippy, and his dad is a villain out of no where (who actually uses the phrase "meddling brats"). It all seemed a bit thrown together and dark, with no major happy resolve...
-Unless you count the epilogue, which I do not, since it was essentially just a few pages to connect loose ends that weren't handled in the actual plot.
-+There's a few grammatical errors in the text, but it wasn't enough to deter from the story.
+Despite my issues with this story, I did like that each chapter started with a Texas state law or public service announcement regarding the dangers of zombies and the consequences of interacting with them. It gave a clear insight into the type of society this book is set in, and how much trouble Max was going to be in if he got caught.
Maybe I'm just a cynical old person now who can't appreciate kid's literature. However, I couldn't get past Max's insufferable-ness, and it disconnected me from the majority of the book. If I were to recommend this, it would be to kids/young adults in junior high, namely boys. I appreciate the concept of this story, but for me it just fell flat.
Thank you to Word Spelunking blog and the author for my copy. This review can also be found on my blog, Bitches n Prose.
May 15, 2013
How not to train a zombie is a book about a 13 year old kid who dreams to be the most popular kid in school.
Leaving behind all the things, he's got an idea to somehow capture a zombie and train him.
He tries to influence his Best friend Chad to assist him in training a zombie for the upcoming science fair project.
Though Chad stands by his principles and refuses straight away to fall in the trap of fame, Max acts like a jerk through out the novel.
Chad by all means denies Max's idea calling it stupid which further results into Max acting like a jerk and breaking up his friendship with Chad.
It seemed funny but we know that's how teenagers act and behave.
The novel starts out well with many funny sarcasm conversations of Max with his school mates, but more funny, with himself.
He gets bullied by a funny character and further gets stabbed in the back by his best friend Chad and Kelly.
Max was obsessed with his mom every now and then, not because if she scolded or interfered, But because she loved gardening.
LOL! How funny is that for someone to hate her mom's profession of gardening?
At first, It doesn't seems like it'll be an actual zombie book or there will be a actual zombie at some part of the novel.
Since it's quite unbelievable for a 13 year old kid to possess the intelligence and more over, strength to possess a zombie in his basement, further to control and train him.
More than dealing with the surrealism, I was actually enjoying the fantasy and fast pace that kept me giggling at times.
Though I could not believe much of the incidents taking place, I thoroughly enjoyed the writing style concluding sarcasm jokes which seems to be good enough for a middle grader and a certain age group (10~20) I guess.
Leaving behind his friendship with Chad, Max tries his luck with the geek of class, Eddy.
Eddy's dad is a zombie catcher which makes Max wonder, he might be possessing zombies in his house.
LOL, another funny thought.
Does that means a dog catcher possess several dogs barking all over his house? Or a snake hunter possessing hundreds of snakes loaded and dumped in his basement?
Finally Max And the geek Eddy discover that the fantasy is a fact and there's actually a zombie, or probably more in the basement.
Eddy's dad, Mr. Pratt was an unpredictable character through out the novel.
Sometimes his sarcasm made me giggle and sometimes frown.
Mr. Pratt happened to store and dump zombies in his basement with evil intentions to capture the city and turn every one into zombies.
There was only one sad part of the novel when readers are turn to the fact, Eddy's mother was dead and turned into a zombie. Moreover, Mr. Pratt dumped her in a cage in the basement.
The novel went on smooth and funny till I reached page 142~143, where it suddenly took a abrupt turn and things started to fall apart.
Everything happened too fast suddenly, which made it difficult to decipher about what's going on.
Suddenly Chad turns into a zombie, Mr. Pratt turns heels, Eddy, who clearly denied Max's idea to train a zombie, showed up positive to the idea and the novel ended within 30 pages from there.
Which made me frown as I was wanting more and more details.
The end could be clearly elaborated for at least another 60~80 pages to shed some light and slow down the events taking place.
I won't give much of spoiler here so if you're reading this review,
Find out the further story by reading the novel.
I finished the novel in probably just one sitting and in very few hours as I was enjoying and giggling about how the characters behaved and the story unfolded.
This novel is clearly targeted towards a young group of readers, probably children in school and teens will enjoy it.
Though I doubt, any adults with serious zombie fan banners over their head would find this novel interesting.
Pros:-
+ Funny characters, funny sarcasm dialogues which might make readers giggle.
+ Each chapters starts with Texas state law or public service announcement which defines the punishment liable for interacting with zombies or possessing them and selling zombie parts or related things.
+ Short and enjoyable story line which can be ripped off from cover to cover in just a day.
+ Overall a good standalone fun book targeted at kids (probably boys) and school graders who enjoy funny books, but with a zombie essence.
+ No explicit language.
Cons:-
- Few typos and grammatical errors here any there.
- Average plot.
- Abrupt and sudden shift of events and a quick end.
Overall, we found, How not to train a zombie a novel which would be enjoyed by kids and school graders but not as much as by adults wanting some serious zombie stuff.
So if kids reading this review are interested in reading this novel, we will recommend it if you want to enjoy it on a sunny Sunday or want something light to read, just relax and have fun.
It's overall a fun novel and reader shall not expect or analyze if training a zombie is possible?
Offcourse, Training a zombie never works out the way we expect.
So Kids, DO NOT TRY OBTAINING OR TRAINING A ZOMBIE AT HOME!
But you may try reading How not to Train a Zombie by Annie Rachel Cole at home, school, beach or your vacation/picnic point.
Leaving behind all the things, he's got an idea to somehow capture a zombie and train him.
He tries to influence his Best friend Chad to assist him in training a zombie for the upcoming science fair project.
Though Chad stands by his principles and refuses straight away to fall in the trap of fame, Max acts like a jerk through out the novel.
Chad by all means denies Max's idea calling it stupid which further results into Max acting like a jerk and breaking up his friendship with Chad.
It seemed funny but we know that's how teenagers act and behave.
The novel starts out well with many funny sarcasm conversations of Max with his school mates, but more funny, with himself.
He gets bullied by a funny character and further gets stabbed in the back by his best friend Chad and Kelly.
Max was obsessed with his mom every now and then, not because if she scolded or interfered, But because she loved gardening.
LOL! How funny is that for someone to hate her mom's profession of gardening?
At first, It doesn't seems like it'll be an actual zombie book or there will be a actual zombie at some part of the novel.
Since it's quite unbelievable for a 13 year old kid to possess the intelligence and more over, strength to possess a zombie in his basement, further to control and train him.
More than dealing with the surrealism, I was actually enjoying the fantasy and fast pace that kept me giggling at times.
Though I could not believe much of the incidents taking place, I thoroughly enjoyed the writing style concluding sarcasm jokes which seems to be good enough for a middle grader and a certain age group (10~20) I guess.
Leaving behind his friendship with Chad, Max tries his luck with the geek of class, Eddy.
Eddy's dad is a zombie catcher which makes Max wonder, he might be possessing zombies in his house.
LOL, another funny thought.
Does that means a dog catcher possess several dogs barking all over his house? Or a snake hunter possessing hundreds of snakes loaded and dumped in his basement?
Finally Max And the geek Eddy discover that the fantasy is a fact and there's actually a zombie, or probably more in the basement.
Eddy's dad, Mr. Pratt was an unpredictable character through out the novel.
Sometimes his sarcasm made me giggle and sometimes frown.
Mr. Pratt happened to store and dump zombies in his basement with evil intentions to capture the city and turn every one into zombies.
There was only one sad part of the novel when readers are turn to the fact, Eddy's mother was dead and turned into a zombie. Moreover, Mr. Pratt dumped her in a cage in the basement.
The novel went on smooth and funny till I reached page 142~143, where it suddenly took a abrupt turn and things started to fall apart.
Everything happened too fast suddenly, which made it difficult to decipher about what's going on.
Suddenly Chad turns into a zombie, Mr. Pratt turns heels, Eddy, who clearly denied Max's idea to train a zombie, showed up positive to the idea and the novel ended within 30 pages from there.
Which made me frown as I was wanting more and more details.
The end could be clearly elaborated for at least another 60~80 pages to shed some light and slow down the events taking place.
I won't give much of spoiler here so if you're reading this review,
Find out the further story by reading the novel.
I finished the novel in probably just one sitting and in very few hours as I was enjoying and giggling about how the characters behaved and the story unfolded.
This novel is clearly targeted towards a young group of readers, probably children in school and teens will enjoy it.
Though I doubt, any adults with serious zombie fan banners over their head would find this novel interesting.
Pros:-
+ Funny characters, funny sarcasm dialogues which might make readers giggle.
+ Each chapters starts with Texas state law or public service announcement which defines the punishment liable for interacting with zombies or possessing them and selling zombie parts or related things.
+ Short and enjoyable story line which can be ripped off from cover to cover in just a day.
+ Overall a good standalone fun book targeted at kids (probably boys) and school graders who enjoy funny books, but with a zombie essence.
+ No explicit language.
Cons:-
- Few typos and grammatical errors here any there.
- Average plot.
- Abrupt and sudden shift of events and a quick end.
Overall, we found, How not to train a zombie a novel which would be enjoyed by kids and school graders but not as much as by adults wanting some serious zombie stuff.
So if kids reading this review are interested in reading this novel, we will recommend it if you want to enjoy it on a sunny Sunday or want something light to read, just relax and have fun.
It's overall a fun novel and reader shall not expect or analyze if training a zombie is possible?
Offcourse, Training a zombie never works out the way we expect.
So Kids, DO NOT TRY OBTAINING OR TRAINING A ZOMBIE AT HOME!
But you may try reading How not to Train a Zombie by Annie Rachel Cole at home, school, beach or your vacation/picnic point.
May 31, 2013
I received this book for free from a Goodreads giveaway.
This was a simple, entertaining story about a boy and his zombie friend. As an adult, I would say it was just okay, likable but not great. 3 stars. The many grammatical and punctuation errors really bugged me--hopefully these will be corrected in the final version before release.
My 7 year old son, however, gave it 5 stars. He loved the book, and especially enjoyed the ending. I gave it 4 stars as a compromise.
Given the right audience, I'm sure it will be a hit!
This was a simple, entertaining story about a boy and his zombie friend. As an adult, I would say it was just okay, likable but not great. 3 stars. The many grammatical and punctuation errors really bugged me--hopefully these will be corrected in the final version before release.
My 7 year old son, however, gave it 5 stars. He loved the book, and especially enjoyed the ending. I gave it 4 stars as a compromise.
Given the right audience, I'm sure it will be a hit!
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews