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Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow
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Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow

4.09  ·  Rating details ·  506 Ratings  ·  64 Reviews
When a child is adopted, he or she can arrive with hurts from past pain. With time, patience, informed parenting, and appropriate therapy, your adopted child can heal, grow, and develop beyond what seems possible now.

Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky explain how to manage a hurting child with loving wisdom and resolve and how to preserve your stability while untangling
Hardcover, 304 pages
Published March 19th 2002 by NavPress
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Jun 26, 2011 rated it it was ok
Shelves: parenting
Although I liked some of what the authors say in this book in terms of spending quality time with children, I can also see how their attitude toward control over the child leads to a lack of respect for children and a failure to listen to their needs. Not my favorite book, but I can see coming to it as a last resort for extremely behaviorally challenged kids.
May 18, 2016 rated it it was ok
Nope. A few things about this book were ok, but I couldn't get past the blatant vilification of first families. (p 52: "...dumped by a drug-addicted mom"; p.53: "...the hurt child is familiar with anger and rage and has experienced much of it throughout his life with his birth family.")

The author actually suggests that parents mock their hurting child's tantrums and dare them to "do better". Ah, I know exactly how that would go over in my home, and it would not be pretty, and CERTAINLY not heali
Aug 24, 2014 rated it liked it
First off: I am not a parent. I'm an adult adoptee. I read a lot of adoption books, including this one, in order to gain a fuller understanding of myself and my relationships with my family.

Not that this would normally matter, but I'm also an atheist. I'm not an angry, pushy atheist, but I'm not interested in having others' faith pushed on me. I wasn't aware that this was a book by born-again Christian authors, printed by a Christian publisher, until the non-sequitur screed about abortion and c
If I were to rate only the first half of the book, I would give probably 4 or 5 stars. But I was so disappointed with the last half of the book that I can only give it 2 stars.

The first half of the book (relating to discipline, etc.) was really helpful. But after that, it felt almost as if the authors said "ok, we don't feel like writing any new material anymore.... Let's just write the bare minimum and then say 'for more information, you should really read Parenting With Love And Logic.'" It g
May 03, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: adoption
As an adoptive parent, I found this book to be an outstanding and extremely empathetic look at the struggles faced by adoptive parents and their children. The authors did an excellent job providing suggestions for things you can do to help your child, while also providing lots of suggestions and encouragement for parents. It's easy to read and filled with great ideas.

While many similar books focus on how parents can help their children form attachments, heal from past trauma, etc., this book als
Sarah Hyatt
Oct 22, 2013 rated it did not like it
Really disappointed with this one. So much of the book seemed like filler (chapters made entirely of stories from parents and children, while interesting, would be better woven into the book at meaningful times, rather than just a hodgepodge of other peoples' narratives), and the rest of it seemed like a huge ad for reading "Parenting with Love and Logic." Which I am probably not going to do, because this was the book I checked out of the library, not that one, and I would appreciate if it actua ...more
Oct 22, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I do not have a lot of time to read these days but I devoured this book. From the introduction I was hooked - this guy GETS IT! Finally someone who understands what we've been going through and has some real help to offer beyond good, solid but basic parenting tips. Because sometimes no matter how much you love or how consistent you are that's just not enough. Trauma of all kinds causes neurological changes, hurt that cannot be seen except for how it manifests in behavior, often difficult behavi ...more
Jan 24, 2013 rated it really liked it
If giving 1/2 stars was possible, this would receive 3 1/2 stars instead of 4. The first part of the book was excellent, providing much insight to behavior, feelings, emotions, thoughts of the hurt child. It certainly opened my eyes. However, it would have been helpful to have more practical advice on how to deal with the child, rather than as many examples and stories. As a grandmother of a "hurt" child, I learned some useful techniques, but wish there had been more.
Katie Kenig
Mar 12, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction, adoption
During our long training sessions in preparation to complete a special-needs adoption, social workers recommended this particular book over and over again. I started to wonder what all the fuss was about, so I did a quick search on the library website, and found there was only one copy floating around. Yikes! I requested it right away.

It wasn't far into the book before I understood what was going on. Ah, I see. Our course of learning how to parent special needs kids? Yeah, it almost felt lifted
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