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Drowning Instinct

Ilsa J. Bick (Goodreads Author)

3.94 · Rating details · 4,404 ratings · 771 reviews

Jenna is sweet sixteen, the age when a girl is supposed to find her prince.

Instead she finds Mr Anderson – intelligent, handsome, married Mr Anderson, who just happens to be her chemistry teacher. With a dark past and a difficult family, Jenna is just happy to have someone to protect her, to worry about her, to love her.

But should she be suspicious of Mr Anderson’s reputat ...more

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Paperback, UK, 343 pages

Published February 28th 2013 by Quercus (first published February 1st 2012)

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May 06, 2012 karen rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: welcome-author, why-yes-i-ya

this is a karen-four, and maybe not-four-everyone four.

it is dense and intense. it is like 5 YA books in one. it is like HELLO I AM A BOOK AND I AM ABOUT A GIRL WHO NEARLY DIED IN A FIRE AS A YOUNG CHILD AND IS COVERED WITH HORRIFIC BURNS AND HOW THESE COMPLICATE HER LIFE. OH AND SHE IS ALSO A CUTTER. OH AND ALSO, HER FAMILY IS COMPLETELY MESSED UP WITH THE ALCOHOLISM AND THE SCREWING AROUND AND THE INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE AND WHATNOT. OH, AND SHE WAS INSTITUTIONALIZED. OH, AND ALSO ALSO SHE CO this is a karen-four, and maybe not-four-everyone four.

it is dense and intense. it is like 5 YA books in one. it is like HELLO I AM A BOOK AND I AM ABOUT A GIRL WHO NEARLY DIED IN A FIRE AS A YOUNG CHILD AND IS COVERED WITH HORRIFIC BURNS AND HOW THESE COMPLICATE HER LIFE. OH AND SHE IS ALSO A CUTTER. OH AND ALSO, HER FAMILY IS COMPLETELY MESSED UP WITH THE ALCOHOLISM AND THE SCREWING AROUND AND THE INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE AND WHATNOT. OH, AND SHE WAS INSTITUTIONALIZED. OH, AND ALSO ALSO SHE COMES FROM A FAMILY HISTORY OF MADNESS AND SUICIDE. OH, AND ALSO INCEST. AND MURRRRRDERRRRR. OH, AND LET'S THROW IN AN INAPPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER TEACHER.AND SOMETHING ELSE THAT ORDINARILY WOULD HAVE BEEN ITS OWN BOOK BUT IN THIS BOOK IS JUST ONE.MORE.THING.

i mean, most people would just write a couple of books out of that. not ilsa j. bick!she just goes for it, full throttle.

and for the most part, it works.

i read this book straight through, all page-turning and groaning and needing to know what else could possibly happen. a lot did, my friends. a lot.

the structure of this book, which is a sort of audio confession into a policeman's recorder thingie on the evening of an incident, makes the story incredibly fast-paced, but of course only gives us one side of the story. a damaged side. but what a great voice this character has! and i kind of want to blame any inconsistencies of other-character-behavior on her - on her being an unreliable narrator, but it might just be wide-eyed trust and me liking the book enough to overlook how parents can go from not letting this girl shower with the door closed and inspecting her for new cuts every single day to just booking out of town for a week without a thought about possible hazards. for example. there are a couple of "whaaaa??" moments like that, and i will just say "that's what happens when you have an unreliable narrator, son." and hope that that's true.

but - yeah. these are very nuanced characters who don't always behave the way you think they would/should. and that's pretty great in YA books - i love to see that. and even though sometimes you feel like, "AND that?? AND this??," the snowballing is more fun than unrealistic. fun is definitely not the correct word here. but you know what i mean - gripping?? satisfying? awesome?

dunno - i kind of don't want to say too much about this. but i do recommend it. so.

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come to my blog! ...more

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Nov 21, 2011 Giselle rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: arc, ebook

Insane! This is the best word to describe Drowning Instinct. Insanely good; insanely terrifying; i-n-s-a-n-e! Ever since I cracked the cover, I can't stop thinking about this book. First, to analyze it, now, to figure out what the heck I've just read. It's the type of book that you just plow through because it makes you so restless that you must keep reading and reading, all the while knowing, just knowing, that the storm is coming. So close it could be right on the next page. Really, it's freak Insane! This is the best word to describe Drowning Instinct. Insanely good; insanely terrifying; i-n-s-a-n-e! Ever since I cracked the cover, I can't stop thinking about this book. First, to analyze it, now, to figure out what the heck I've just read. It's the type of book that you just plow through because it makes you so restless that you must keep reading and reading, all the while knowing, just knowing, that the storm is coming. So close it could be right on the next page. Really, it's freaking brilliant! Even though I'm still dumbfounded by it. You'll turn the last page, you'll gasp, you'll think, you'll reminisce. Some may even read it again, though I doubt that would help. Don't get me wrong, the book is far from confusing, it's simply unreal. You just need to read it to understand. It's also the the type of story best enjoyed when you know nothing about it going in. So all I'm going to tell you is this:

Jenna tells us her story. Scratch that. She tells the police her story by way of a tape recorder they give her so she can do it at her own pace. (The format is reminiscent of Jay Asher's Thirteen Reasons Why). While she's telling it, you feel so close to this character it's like you're connected to her. You can hear her intonations, feel the tone of her voice. On top of this, she sounds her age; she sounds like you'd expect her to sound. It makes her so real and most importantly: sincere. Jenna comes off as smart and flawed, she's struggling to find herself. To find someone who will listen and care. Then she does; she finds Mitch- her teacher. We're sent deep into Jenna's thoughts and feelings during this story. So deep that we get easily confused as to who, exactly, is the victim here. Things that you thought you were against, don't seem so wrong anymore. It's not black and white; just like real life. Flawlessly weaved together, the multiple plot lines hypnotizes you so, that you don't realize you've been holding your breath for 45 minutes frantically turning the pages. (What? you can't hold your breath for that long? Well… you will LEARN!).

Do you get it yet? This book is intense! Intense, suspenseful, passionate- all masterfully put together into an incredibly, profound novel.

--
For more of my reviews, visit my blog at Xpresso Reads ...more

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Apr 17, 2017 L A i N E Y ~back in a bit~ rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: blurb-perfect, cover-love, audiobook, reviewed, très-boring, contemporary, zero-chemistry, ya

That pain moves when you move; it mutters between every breath; it spikes your ears; it rips. You think pain can’t be any more horrible than that.

Until you discover that the well is bottomless. There’s always more

I swear that quote isn't some slogan for chonic pain. Which was a travesty - it really should have been.

Drowning Instinct:

Boring.
Shady.
Illegal.
Inappropriate.
Weird.
Dull 'mystery'.
Nice narrator for audiobook though.
And really beautiful cover.
That's everything.
Yup.

rating: ★¾

...more

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Apr 14, 2012 Reynje rated it really liked it · review of another edition

“In my experience, the truly evil are few and good people, with the very best intentions, often make very bad decisions and get in way over their heads before they know it. People drown, quietly before our eyes, all the time.” - (Ilsa J Bick in the Acknowledgements of Drowning Instinct)

I can never resist a compelling, unreliable narrator.

There are few literary techniques I find more engaging than a strong, distinct voice – especially one I’m not sure I can trust. And in sixteen-year-old Jen “In my experience, the truly evil are few and good people, with the very best intentions, often make very bad decisions and get in way over their heads before they know it. People drown, quietly before our eyes, all the time.” - (Ilsa J Bick in the Acknowledgements of Drowning Instinct)

I can never resist a compelling, unreliable narrator.

There are few literary techniques I find more engaging than a strong, distinct voice – especially one I’m not sure I can trust. And in sixteen-year-old Jenna Lord, Ilsa J Bick has created a razor sharp voice in a story that is anything but clear-cut.

Drowning Instinct puts the reader in the uncomfortable position of listening in on Jenna’s (very) unsettling story, as she dictates it onto a digital recorder for the detective waiting outside the door. She is, in her own words: ”..lucky, a liar, a good girl, a princess, a thief – and a killer.” And what she has to say is not easy to hear.

As Bick herself says, this is a difficult, risky book. It does not present predators and victims in a black and white fashion. There is a great deal of ambiguity and complex content – including, but not limited to: self-harm, alcoholism, sexual and physical abuse, grief, PTSD, suicide and (view spoiler) However, what prevents this book from descending into the realm of manipulative tragedy porn is that it does not ask the reader to agree with the choices the characters make. But it does demand that the reader think about them, question them, examine the reasoning and motivations of these damaged people.

From the opening, Drowning Instinct is an intense novel. While the pieces of the story fall into place gradually, with Jenna alternately withholding and revealing information, the pacing never feels slow. Rather, the slightly ominous tone, the sensation that the plot is inexorably drawing towards a shocking conclusion, and the format in which Jenna relates events, keeps the story gripping.

Jenna is an intriguing narrator: intelligent, acerbic, obviously in pain. Her voice is extremely well-executed, balancing her tendency to keep the detective (and thus the reader) at arm’s length, with her raw vulnerability. She is not entirely a sympathetic character – and yet throughout the book all I wanted was for to be able to heal, to find relief. As the layers to her story are revealed, Jenna becomes clearer as a character and her actions are given greater context, which complicates the issue of judging her choices. In this respect, Bick has crafted not only a realistic, complex character – but also developed an interesting dynamic between Jenna and the reader.

There are some plot elements that I felt weakened the believability of the story overall – the biggest example being the dramatic changes in attitude of Jenna’s parents. The abrupt turn-arounds in behaviour are almost whip-lash inducing, and the justification provided feels flimsy. That said, I think it’s worth considering that these parts of the story reflect Jenna as a narrator, and that we are hearing what Jenna herself refers to as her “version” of the truth. Early in the novel, Jenna muses on what it means to tell to the truth – and her inability to provide a black and white story, given the circumstances in which hers unfolds.

This is not a perfect novel, nor is it an easy one. Bick takes a gamble in choosing to tell this particular story in such a conflicted, ambiguous manner. Yet, while Jenna reaches a conclusion at the end of the book – readers are left to form their own. And I believe that rather than trying to convince readers of a particular stance, this book is instead simply urging them to think. To hear a different perspective. But most of all, to understand what compels such broken people to go to such extreme measures to mitigate their pain – whether we support or condemn their actions.
...more

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Feb 25, 2012 Michelle, the Bookshelf Stalker Queen of the Undead rated it it was ok · review of another edition

You can read my review at badassbookreviews.com (tomorrow) or below...

If you are reading my review, let me first start off with a small disclaimer, I seem to be the only one in the entire book universe that disliked this book. In fact, most reviews speak of how much they loved Drowning Instinct. I encourage everyone to read those reviews before you make any decisions on whether this book is right for you.

I had so many issues with this book. But I am going to attempt to keep them down to a minim ...more

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Sep 07, 2014 Aj the Ravenous Reader rated it really liked it · review of another edition

“Everybody breaks sooner or later…Anyone can drown. Sometimes you see it. Most often you don’t because the body protects and the skin hides, so drowning doesn’t look like drowning and some people scar so nicely.”

No, this isn’t indeed your typical YA contemporary. I should have believed the blurb. Right now I am so tempted to tell you what kind or rather kinds of story this book has in store for you, but I wouldn’t because it’s very important that you find it out yourself and then you’ll und ...more

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Jun 16, 2012 Stacia (the 2010 club) rated it liked it · review of another edition

Recommended to Stacia (the 2010 club) by: Isamlq

Shelves: young-adult, contemporary-romance, dark-or-taboo

3.5 stars. Deciding whether to round up or down was an extremely hard decision and I'm still not sure why.

I don't want to tell this story and you know why? Because this is a fairy tale with teeth and claws.

Have you ever finished a book and found yourself unsure of what to think? I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around what I just read. Part of me was intrigued by this story, while part of me is sitting here thinking...wait, what?

"Jenna, please. Please, look at me."
I di

...more

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Jun 10, 2018 Literatures Movies rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Recommends it for: E V E R Y B O D YYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Shelves: favorites, mind-fucking-blown

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ENDING?

ILSA J.BICK, I COMMAND YOU WITH EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY IN THIS WORLD TO MAKE A SEQUEL FOR THIS BOOK.

I. WANT. MORE.

YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME WITH THAT ENDING noooooo

description

Like goddamn.

This book is GOOD. This book is motherfucking GOOD . Like. Like.

I cannot even pinpoint just what it is about this book that had me glued to every single page and every single word. But it sucked me in without problem and I was addicted.

Needless to say, this woman can write. I just.

Man. Let ...more

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Feb 18, 2016 Penny rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: t-read-teacher-student, reviewed, y-read-young-adults, d-read-dark

Actual Rating 2.5 stars.

It's ok , I liked it just fine, did't love it.

My big problem with this book is that it got tiresome at times (actually, many times).

There are 3 main reason why I found the book tedious sometimes:

1 - There is a lot of pointless information and endless ramblings I wasn't interested in. Too many unnecessary detailed mundane information I have no patience for. Therefore, I skipped some paragraphs from time to time, made the book more fluid and bearable that way.

2 - It takes ...more

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Jan 17, 2012 Wendy Darling rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: read-2012, tough-subjects, major-plot-twist, unreliable-narrator, young-adult, naughty-teacher, psychological-thriller, 2012-publication, february, carolrhoda

3.5 stars This is a compelling read, and I appreciate the complexity/moral ambiguity that the author was trying to portray.

I felt very detached from these characters overall, however, and it doesn't help that I found the story to be predictable up until the very end. I can see why this one has stirred up quite a bit of shock, especially with its more titillating elements. I can't help but feel that though the details of the two stories are different, Drowning Instinct has many of the same melod ...more

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Mar 14, 2018 Jennifer Kyle rated it really liked it · review of another edition

3.75 Stars

This is an extremely well written book. However the ending, though interesting, was a bit perplexing.

description

...more

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Nov 21, 2012 Scarlet rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Recommended to Scarlet by: Zemira (Kylo Ren fangirl) Warner

Shelves: favorites, mystery, young-adult, teen, heartbreaking-story, realistic-fiction, contemporary, made-me-cry, amazing-writing, mental-illness

Review posted on Way Too Hot Books

This book just blew me away!

description

This book has stolen my attention right from its very first line.
It´s stunning, scary, unpredictable and beautiful.
This book is a definite MUST HAVE!

An older man and a teenage girl. Bittersweet romance. Your first thought must be Lolita? High school teacher and troubled student. Sounds like a recipe for disaster or at least some jail time. But, although situations like this would ordinarily cause me to cringe because I´m a school tea ...more

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Dec 12, 2013 JaHy☝Hold the Fairy Dust added it · review of another edition

I'm sitting here like a retard wondering if the authors brilliant or really cruel....I DON'T KNOW!!!!

Here's a mini summary of the book..

...... I'm not kidding .

I need to think about this....

...more

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Jan 29, 2012 Christina (A Reader of Fictions) rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: netgalley, on-my-shelves, owned-print-copy, favorites-contemps, needs-more-hype

Whoa. What an incredibly dark and well-done novel. I have absolutely no doubt that Ilsa J. Bick will come to be recognized alongside authors like Laurie Halse Anderson. She clearly has no problem plumbing the darkest and most terrifying of human emotions. Like Anderson, she also focuses on teens, on the bad stuff - not the shiny vampires and the sweet first loves.

Reading this book...it's going to hurt. Jenna is incredibly messed up. You learn this up front. She's spent a year in an institution, ...more

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Apr 01, 2012 Irina Elena rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: ya-realistic, 5-star, read-in-2014

My brain is short-circuiting.

This is the kind of novel that makes you wonder whether the author is a normal human being or someone - something - with preternatural abilities of cognition and expression.
You think I'm exaggerating? You think this is hyperbole? Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not, and it isn't.

This book is FUCKING INSANE.

And believe me, you will be shocked, terrified, horrified, thrilled and amazed.
No matter how realistically absurd the things you expect are, what you'll find is going ...more

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Jan 05, 2012 Myvampfiction rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Reviewed by Sue

*Warning: possible spoilers ahead.*

To be perfectly honest, I had no idea what this book was about when I requested it from NetGalley. I knew how I felt about the author’s book, Ashes, so I automatically requested it out of the need to read more of her writing. It wasn’t really even until about 70 pages in that I got the “uh-0h” vibe from Jenna’s teacher, Mr. Anderson that I even went I read the book info. To say the book drew me in is an understatement, because one of the things I Reviewed by Sue

*Warning: possible spoilers ahead.*

To be perfectly honest, I had no idea what this book was about when I requested it from NetGalley. I knew how I felt about the author’s book, Ashes, so I automatically requested it out of the need to read more of her writing. It wasn’t really even until about 70 pages in that I got the “uh-0h” vibe from Jenna’s teacher, Mr. Anderson that I even went I read the book info. To say the book drew me in is an understatement, because one of the things I have a habit of doing if a book doesn’t interest me is looking at the page count. If I don’t like I book, I’ll think man, I’m only on page 3 of 4392? With this book, I got to reading in bed one night and I looked down out of curiosity to see what page I was on. I was on page 78. Out of 352. Yup, I’d be sticking with this one.

*From this point on... there may probably be spoilers...*

The book begins with Jenna being pulled from a frozen lake and asking the police detective if she is going to jail. The detective in charge is a nice man, and for some reason I imagine him to be an older version of Det. Stabler, but maybe that’s just me. Knowing she’s going to be in the ER room for a little while, he gives her a digital recorder and tells her to simply tell her story. He then reassures her that things will be okay. There is no information given as to why she’s in the ER (other than being close to hypothermia) and that adds a lot of mystery. So, Jenna begins her story.

She’s a cutter. She’s been in a psych ward. Now, desperate for a “fresh start”, her parents move her and enroll her in a new school. Her dad is a prominent surgeon, her mom is an alcoholic book store owner and Jenna is something of a science wiz. Her story begins innocuously enough, and for awhile I really thought it was going to be more about her relationship with her fractured family. Her narrative is sassy, witty and concise. She is telling the story with what is on her mind at that very moment.

Her first day at school is typical for a new student, and of course, there is that friendlier-than-probably-should-be teacher that comes to Jenna’s resuce. I don’t know if the book ever stated Mr. Anderson’s age, but Jenna is 16, so there is the potential for disaster.

It takes awhile for the book to make it clear that Jenna is barrelling head first into an inappropriate relationship with Mr. Anderson. Along the way, there are many warning signs, but Jenna is mostly focusing on the story as she lived it, which was free of the red flags we as the reader see. There are a few supporting characters: David, the Student Council president; Danielle, David’s snobby, bitchy, but obviously troubled girlfriend; Jenna’s parents (Psycho-Dad and Alcoholic Mom) and Meryl, a famous author friend of Jenna’s mom. Jenna’s brother Matt also plays a part, although, she tells us, he is stationed in the Middle East and their communication is through a private email set up on a ghost server so her mom doesn’t find out they are emailing in and freak out. It takes almost half of the book to really understand WHY Jenna’s mom would freak out about said communication. And when you as a reader figure it out, it will send a chill up your spine.

Eventually, Jenna realizes that she has crossed a line with Mr. Anderson and she has no idea how to turn back. She has no idea how to begin assigned seating and stand outside in the hallway across from the office, if you will. And what’s really scary is that, I started rooting for them! Mr. Anderson is everything a 16 year old girl should stay away from. He’s married, but his wife is mysteriously absent. He has a secret room in the back of the chemistry store room that he uses for naps after runs, because, you know he’s the Girl’s Cross Country coach. There are tons of red flags but you can’t focus on them because it’s Jenna’s story and she doesn’t see them. I’m not entirely sure she understood how horrible the situation was until she was dictating the story into the detective’s digital recorder.

About 2/3 through the book, the relationship between Mr. Anderson and Jenna goes tumbling over the ledge and it’s so sad and heartfelt and raw and emotional that…I felt bad for feeling the way I felt towards the characters. I would get into their story until I realized, holy crap she’s 16; this is SO NOT RIGHT! Even near the end when Jenna starts putting the pieces together about what is truth and what is a lie, you feel like Mr. Anderson might even be justified in his actions. It’s dispicable, but there are so many other forces at work, that it’s almost impossible to draw a right/wrong line in the sand. It’s a thought provoking book to say the very least.

The ending is extremely powerful. Jenna’s life has begun to unravel in 12 hour period and she makes some split second decisions that, at first might be bad, but in the end, saved her life. The fate of Mr. Anderson is up in the air as the book ends, and that is the point. The reader has to take all of this information that has been thrown out and make sense of their feelings about it. I finished this book 8 hours ago, and I’m still having a hard time reconciling my feelings and thoughts. At the very end of the book, Jenna makes a decision that some people would say is cowardly and stupid. But, you know…I wanted to give her a high five. It might be perceived as trying to protect a predator, but I saw it as an empowering move. I think she was protecting herself and Mr. Anderson’s estranged wife more than she was protecting him. For her entire life, Jenna was kept under a microscope and told every move to make. She was never allowed to think or feel for herself, which, in my opinion is probably what led to her cutting problem – that was the only thing she had any control over and it became the outlet she needed to take control of her life. Her decision at the end of the book was her way of saying, “this is my life and it’s time for everyone else to stop trying to control me.” She was taking control and she was braver for it. And, I really believe she was saving lives and not damning them.

The point is, as the author pointed out to me on Twitter, there is a ton of ambiguity there, and for good reason. The reader has to come to terms with the fact that sometimes, stories aren’t so cut and dry. There is often more than meets the eye and we have to examine all possibilities.

Drowning Instinct gets an easy 5 moons from me. ...more

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Jul 12, 2013 Katherine rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: dem-families-be-cray-cray, contemporary, instalove-express, mental-illness, romance, young-adult

”This is a fairy tale with teeth and claws and here’s what completely sucks: you’re going to want black and white, right and wrong. I’m not sure I can give that to you. That’s the problem with the truth. Sometimes the truth is ambiguous, or a really bad cliché.”

Wow. WOW. I was NOT expecting this story to pack as much punch to it as it did and have it be so effective as well.

Jenna Lord’s life is like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” game gone horribly wrong. Her dad’s verbally abusive, her moth ”This is a fairy tale with teeth and claws and here’s what completely sucks: you’re going to want black and white, right and wrong. I’m not sure I can give that to you. That’s the problem with the truth. Sometimes the truth is ambiguous, or a really bad cliché.”

Wow. WOW. I was NOT expecting this story to pack as much punch to it as it did and have it be so effective as well.

Jenna Lord’s life is like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” game gone horribly wrong. Her dad’s verbally abusive, her mother’s a washed up alcoholic, both are having affairs, she’s just gotten out of a mental institution for cutting her arms, her brother’s deployed to Afghanistan... everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong for Jenna. That is, until she meets her new chemistry teacher, Mr. Anderson.

”But the this is the truth: I’m a Liar. I am lucky, a liar, a good girl, a princess, a thief- and a killer. And my reality- my story- begins with Mr. Anderson.”

He seems to be the only one that truly understands her; hell, at times, he seems to be the only one that cares. But they soon get themselves caught in a web of deception so deep Jenna may not be sure she can crawl out of it.

All the characters in this book are completely, irrevocably fucked up. I just don’t know how to put it any nicer than that. The adults are absolutely horrible to the point where the kids are actually more mature than their guardians. It’s like the author took some sort of sadistic pleasure in making her character’s lives miserable to the point where it kind of became over the top.

Mr. Anderson was an unusual character. He’s the requisite “hot teacher” all fictional schools tend to have.

”He was beautiful like something out of a dream. He was a demigod, and I was well... awed. Like someone this perfect couldn’t be.”

Cause let’s face it; if you’re going to write about a student/teacher affair, they can’t be ugly, amiright?

The reason I say that Anderson was so unusual was simply because I didn’t know what to make of him. On the one hand, I thought his actions towards Jenna were entirely creepy to the point of stalking. I mean, I’ve definitely had caring teachers in the past, but who on earth would willingly drive a student home from school, prepare dinner, wash the dishes, and feed the dog? That’s overkill. Or how he happened to conveniently show up every time Jenna had a crisis. It seemed kind of stalkerish to me.

But on the other hand, I could see what the author was doing in her writing and characterization of Anderson, and I thought it was brilliant. Where the reader would find it stalkerish and creepy, someone in Jenna’s situation would be relieved and grateful (and also attractive), that he would be doing these things. Her life is so miserable that anyone even with the slightest hint of normalcy is immediately appealing. And in the beginning, he’s just that; appealingly normal. If it’s the bait Anderon was wanting to work, it definitely worked, all right.

”I was transformed. I was a woman. I was loved and I loved someone in return. This kind of obsession was delicious and wonderful, and I never wanted it to end.”

So Jenna’s right; this is a book that’s all grit, tooth, and claw. It sinks its teeth into you and never lets you go, right up to the final chapter. ...more

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Nov 04, 2017 Kooloo rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: chit-lit, mystery-and-thriller, rip-your-heart-out, all-time-fav

I can't even
That was just
I'm speechless ...more

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Jun 03, 2012 Ashley rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Drowning Instinct by Ilsa J. Bick - Take down the walls

BookNook — Young Adult book reviews

4.5 stars

Holy crap, Drowning Instinct was AMAZING! It was so intense and wrong and heartbreaking all in one. This book definitely would have been great to listen to as an audiobook; I kind of regret that I didn't. Basically, the story starts off with Jenna being brought to the hospital soaking wet, then a detective hands her a tape recorder and encourages her to tell her tale. So the whole story is what she says into the tape recorder, which is why I th ...more

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Sep 22, 2012 Keertana rated it liked it · review of another edition

Recommended to Keertana by: Leanne

Rating: 3.5 Stars

I've been wanting to read Drowning Instinct ever since I first laid eyes on its cover. Admit it: it's powerful. Unfortunately, the story Bick regales is more insane than powerful. Granted, I appreciate the moral ambiguity of the characters Bick has sketched, not to mention the complexity of their situations, but ultimately, this novel lacked a little something. Hope? Heart? Or maybe just purpose...

Drowning Instinct's first few pages are a dream, an intrusion into an original for Rating: 3.5 Stars

I've been wanting to read Drowning Instinct ever since I first laid eyes on its cover. Admit it: it's powerful. Unfortunately, the story Bick regales is more insane than powerful. Granted, I appreciate the moral ambiguity of the characters Bick has sketched, not to mention the complexity of their situations, but ultimately, this novel lacked a little something. Hope? Heart? Or maybe just purpose...

Drowning Instinct's first few pages are a dream, an intrusion into an original form of storytelling that truly worked, both for me and the novel as a whole. Jenna, our sixteen-year-old protagonist, is asked to speak into a recorder and tell her story. For me, reading Jenna's tale told through frank conversation made it easier to slip into her past. Yet, Jenna is chock-full of problems. Not only does she carry the burn marks of a terrible incident, complete with scars from cutting herself, but her family has a history of mental illness, her mother is an alcoholic, her father is constantly having an affair with a new woman, and her parents' marriage is falling apart. Moreover, Jenna's older brother is in Iraq and a taboo subject in their family. On one hand, Bick handles Jenna's issues cleverly, ensuring that they each are given an ample amount of screen time, but these multiple issues only served to make Jenna a sympathetic character. When stripped of her mental illness, her suicidal tendencies, her horrible family...there is very little to Jenna herself. Thus, I can't say I was a fan of this blatant attempt to garner feeling for the main character.

Due to its purposeful format, recounting events of the past, Drowning Instinct moves at a quick pace. It is nearly impossible to set down, merely because the reader simply has to know what is going to happen. Jenna is vulnerable and isolated because of her brokenness, so when Mr. Anderson, her chemistry teacher, reaches out a hand of kindness, Jenna grabs on. At first, Mr. Anderson is nothing more than a supporting teacher, willing to listen to Jenna, ensuring she gets home safely when her mother forgets to pick her up, and saving her from situations of molest. And yet, despite these kind acts, there is a niggling sense that something is wrong. It is; something is very, very wrong, for Mr. Anderson is just as screwed up as Jenna is, torn down by his past. In many ways, these two seek comfort and solace in one another, seeking to help each other stay above the water, not drown. Admittedly, a story of two people healing one another isn't so bad, but a sixteen-year-old girl and a teacher? It's more than a little sickening.

Where Drowning Instinct becomes interesting, though, is in the fact that Mitch Anderson really isn't painted to be a monster. If anything, he gives Jenna the support and courage she needs to begin facing her problems. With her parents dealing with their own doses of crazy, Jenna desperately needs an adult figure in her life to help her and, despite the nature of their relationship, Mitch does help Jenna - immensely. Although Mr. Anderson is proven to be many things, including a liar, Jenna can never forget the fact that he was there when she needed someone, even if it was just someone to listen to her. Nevertheless, I did feel as if the ending to this novel was a cop-out on Bick's part. Everything was tied up a little too openly, a little too loosely, and yet a little too neatly at the same time. We don't know if Jenna is ever going to be alright and, even worse, we have no hope for her future. Although I applaud Bick for tackling a taboo subject and putting it into a difficult perspective, either than her message of moral ambiguity, nothing else is left.

I don't think I can recommend Drowning Instinct. It's written well, filled with three-dimensional characters, and is impossible to put down. Yet, those final emotions that linger even after a book is over were bleak and confusing. Tabitha Sazuma's Forbidden tackles a taboo subject - an incestuous relationship - in a way that is far more effective and emotional. Drowning Instinct, on the other hand, holds you at arms length so that the greatest emotion you're likely to feel is shock. Bick's story isn't for everyone. I don't even think it was for me.

You can read this review and more on my blog, Ivy Book Bindings. ...more

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Sep 30, 2013 Soplada rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites

Second Time Reading Edit :
Now we have the fifth star blank place filled and that will maybe explains why this book is my most favorite book of all the time.
the reasons are tiresome to mention they are like. A lot !

Oh ,I'm disappointed , sad , overwhelmed why has it ended that way what happened next?
Or let me talk to myself "who told you to read this book and why ?"
"the book at all felt right"

I did understand a lot of things due to human behavior , relationships , and Love. I never thought ...more

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Apr 16, 2019 Leah rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary, listened-on-audio, read-2019, ya-ish, love-and-stuff, doomed-romance

2.8 Out Of 5 STARS

๏ Highlights ๏

Taboo Romance
Older YA
Psychological

With Audio Performed by Kathleen McInerney

๏ My Thoughts ๏

The cover and the narrator are the only recommendable aspects of this story...everything else is questionable...except maybe the ending. I found the ending to be almost perfect, everything except for how they got there in the first place...

Overall, for me, the story has believability issues...so many aspects of the story just didn't sit well for me. I'm surprised I ...more

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Jan 10, 2014 Paige (Illegal in 3 Countries) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

See more of my reviews on The YA Kitten!

3.5 stars!

Someone failed to tell me about Drowning Instinct‘s unreliable narrator earlier, which is an act so egregious that it should be criminalized. I love unreliable narrators and I heard a lot was going on at once, which is also a plus. And yet it took four years and the set-up of a TBR Jar system for me to finally read the book. THANK YOU, SERENDIPITY. If you want to read a mildly older YA book instead of getting lost in all the new releases each wee See more of my reviews on The YA Kitten!

3.5 stars!

Someone failed to tell me about Drowning Instinct‘s unreliable narrator earlier, which is an act so egregious that it should be criminalized. I love unreliable narrators and I heard a lot was going on at once, which is also a plus. And yet it took four years and the set-up of a TBR Jar system for me to finally read the book. THANK YOU, SERENDIPITY. If you want to read a mildly older YA book instead of getting lost in all the new releases each week, this is one of the books to travel back in time for.

There’s so much going on here that it can be hard to keep track of–Jenna’s trauma from the fire that left her scarred, her parents’ fighting and impending divorce, her trials starting at a new school after problems at the old one, and more with her cynical voice offering 20/20-hindsight commentary on it all–but it works well.

Obviously, Jenna’s growing relationship with Mr. Anderson is at the center of everything. Your engagement in the novel will hinge heavily on whether you believe in their relationship if you disregard the fact they’re student and teacher. Compared to everything revealed later about dear Mr. Anderson, the student-teacher detail practically means nothing–and that certainly says something, doesn’t it?

For me, I appreciate their relationship’s build-up but also recognize all the unhealthy things going on. Sometimes, you do get unlucky and meet your special someone in that kind of situation. Though nothing happened in in her school days–in fact, they only started dating long after she’d graduated high school–my tenth grade science teacher married one of his former students. Jenna and Mr. Anderson remind me a great deal of them. There are elements of a genuine love between them, but then the cemetery of skeletons he’s been hiding in his closet come flooding out. WHOOPS.

(view spoiler)

What really weakens Drowning Instinct is its ending. The story’s final chapters leaves readers with too many questions unanswered, too many holes open, and too many matters that need closure. Of course, being that Jenna is highly unreliable, you have to decide some of the answers on your own; she likely wouldn’t provide some of the answers even if the novel didn’t end as it did. That doesn’t make the lack of epilogue to her tale’s intense ending any less maddening.

My rating for Drowning Instinct is only 3.5 stars, but my entertainment rating needs more stars than just 5! Honestly, I feel more strongly about this novel than some books I’ve assigned higher ratings. There are simply issues that have to be acknowledged and that (unfortunately) bump the rating down. Do you want unreliable narrators? Were you either not around or completely unaware when this book came out in 2012? Well, there’s never a better time to rectify your oversight than right now! Wholehearted rec right here. It’s not fully polished, but it’s one of those books that will engage you fully. ...more

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May 05, 2013 Inger rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: romance, young-adult, tears-or-death, something-exceptional, abused-damaged-ill, recommended-stand-alone, stand-alone, 5-stars, cover-or-title-love, some-heavy-stuff

'People drown, quietly, before our eyes, all the time.' - Ilsa J. Bick (Acknowledgments in 'Drowning Instinct')

Wow.
It's been long since I read a book that intense and believe me 'intense' is just the word to describe it.
Maybe it's the title? 'Cause when you've finished this book you just want to cry by simply reading this two words.

By telling her story with a tape recorder to the police one feels incredibly near to the narrator, Jenna. And she's not just any main character you have in random ...more

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Oct 02, 2013 Parker rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: mopey-milking-it-all-for-audience-r

I know everyone else seemed to love this book, but I hated it. I had three main problems with the story.
1. I didn't like Jenna.I didn't like how she was so wrapped up in herself. There's this one particular scene that made me hate her.It's when after her dad closes her mom's bookstore and Jenna thinks that her parent's deserve each other. That's not how I saw it. I think Jenna's mother was a victim of her husband and also of her hard life that's similar to Jenna's,except they cope in different d ...more

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Jul 07, 2012 Isamlq rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Recommends it for: fans of the storyteller, forbidden, pieces of us

No matter how well intentioned someone is, the same doesn’t stop them from deciding a certain thing and acting a particular way. You come away from this knowing full well that there really are no stereotypical predators or victims. Predators don’t go around all skeevy and scary announcing to the world who they are and what they want. Neither do victims. And she was definitely one, time and again… so this is me again: torn.

DROWNING INSTINCT enthralled me. Rare is the book that would get me to us ...more

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May 26, 2013 Jude rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: 04-audiobooks

Serious mixed feelings on this one... I'll probably make a video review in a few weeks. Meanwhile I'll go try and do something with my thoughts, really over the place with this book ...more

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Dec 26, 2011 Donna rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: best-bitten, young-adult, squeemers, contemporary, issues

I've been sitting on reviewing DROWNING INSTINCT for about two months now, doing the Homer Simpson "I wanna" dance waiting for Carolrhoda Lab's special week so I can finally put it up. And now I'm faced with what to say. What can I say other than Ilsa's done it yet again? She's ripped my heart out, stomped on it, sewed it back together and gently placed it back in my chest. I cried like a freaking baby at the end of DROWNING INSTINCT. It's hard to see such a sad character lose a rare piece of ha I've been sitting on reviewing DROWNING INSTINCT for about two months now, doing the Homer Simpson "I wanna" dance waiting for Carolrhoda Lab's special week so I can finally put it up. And now I'm faced with what to say. What can I say other than Ilsa's done it yet again? She's ripped my heart out, stomped on it, sewed it back together and gently placed it back in my chest. I cried like a freaking baby at the end of DROWNING INSTINCT. It's hard to see such a sad character lose a rare piece of happiness in her life.

DROWNING INSTINCT was also the book that made me realize that I needed to step away from these kind of contemporaries for a while. It's so real and honest and gritty that it hurts me to read. As much as I shy away from the prospect of loinfruit, to see a child hurting kills me. Ilsa killed me with Jenna. She was so wounded and so alone and when she finally found the support she needed it was wrenched away from her again. And the story leaves you hanging. Kind of. You know what happens but you really DON'T. You can kinda tell how Jenna's going to do but you don't REALLY know and it's a killer. Is she okay, Ilsa? Please tell me.

Like DRAW THE DARK the story is a bit drawn out and slow at points but that's really the only nominally negative thing I can say about DROWNING INSTINCT and Ilsa's writing in general. She gets so thoroughly into her characters' heads its scary, like she could be automatic writing with a ghost or something. Or she trances out and channels the characters living inside of her. When she's writing she's not Ilsa, she's Jenna and that's why it feels so realistic. That's why every pang and pain and piece of anger jumps off of the page, grabs you by the collar and shakes you until you feel it too. It can't be helped. The story won't let you walk away without feeling something.

Jenna isn't just your average overcoming, strong heroine. She's life. She's reality. She's a piece of soul torn and put through the wringer. It's like you can hear her whispering the story in your ear. As she's talking into that recorder the cop gave her, it's like she's sitting right next to you and she's looking you dead in the eye while she's telling it. She isn't just a character that's been through some terrible crap. She hit the delete button at the end of the story and you don't even know if there's hope. But you pray there is. Because you're looking at her and you have to hope. You have to carry on her hope.

Before I completely jump off the cliff of nonsensical fangirling praise, I'm ending this here. DROWNING INSTINCT is as gritty at they come. It's realistic, poignant and will punch you in the gut by the end of the book. You will feel everything Jenna does. You will go through all of her ups and downs with her, even when you think you probably shouldn't. You still will. And then you'll get to the end and try to will more pages to appear because it can't end there. It just can't. ...more

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Jan 24, 2012 Emily Elizabeth rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: released, all-time-favorites, cover-love, favorite-authors, whert-the-hell, obsessed, review-on-blog, there-aren-t-enough-stars, angst, young-adult

As seen on Ed and Em's Reviews!

Drowning Instinct is one of the most emotional reads that I've read in a while… in fact, it may be one of the most emotional books that I've read ever.

It's mostly the last hundred pages that did me in. The narrator, while she explains her emotions often, seemed emotionless at the same time. It was almost like she was holding in how she felt and forcing herself to be a robot. I noticed this in the first book of Ilsa J. Bick's dystopian series, Ashes as well. I think As seen on Ed and Em's Reviews!

Drowning Instinct is one of the most emotional reads that I've read in a while… in fact, it may be one of the most emotional books that I've read ever.

It's mostly the last hundred pages that did me in. The narrator, while she explains her emotions often, seemed emotionless at the same time. It was almost like she was holding in how she felt and forcing herself to be a robot. I noticed this in the first book of Ilsa J. Bick's dystopian series, Ashes as well. I think it worked better in Drowning Instinct. It was understandable with everything the poor girl in this story had to deal with.

Honestly, the ending has torn me apart. I am typing through my tears. It was so heart-wrenching. This ending, this entire book, will stick with me for quite a while. Especially with the way the book left off. Definitely not a happy ending. Though from the blurb, it is obvious that a book of this subject would have a sad ending. I didn't know if I would read this in the first place, because I usually am not a unhappy ending girl. Happy endings and happy romances are the books I enjoy most. (I'm just saying, if I wanted to see an unhappy ending, I'd look my my life and the lives of those less fortunate!)

I don't know if I would say I enjoyed this book. It was an amazing read, but can you really enjoy something that shows the vulnerability and fears of a young girl? She's traumatized by everything that has happened in her life and who can blame her? It tore my heart open to read about her life and how the one thing that made me happy was taken away.

I have never seen a teacher and student relationship firsthand. They are reported in the news every so often, from all across the United States. I honestly never really found it disturbing. A lot of people will disagree with me. I'm not saying that it's okay. It's not. Not at all. And I know this book is fiction, but after reading this, I wonder if this is how the students and teachers feel. Are they in love? Do they want to spend their lives together? Or is it just a therapeutic outlet? This has always been a fascinating subject in my opinion. When finishing this novel, I am even more intrigued now.

Drowning Instinct really makes you think. It doesn't broach this controversial subject by examining it as a crime. You see one side of the story. The "victim's" story and how she changed from what she experienced. This book makes you think about whether all cases truly make the students a victim. Are you a vicim if you act on your own behalf? Are you a victim if you fall in love?

This book was a roller coaster and my heart is still in my throat. I think it's a great book, but it's definitely not for everyone. It's a tough subject that Ms. Bick handles beautifully. ...more

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Mar 17, 2013 Lisa rated it it was amazing

The Short Story? - My favourite read of the year so far, Drowning Instinct takes forbidden romance to a whole new level. Incredibly raw and undoubtedly powerful, Bick explores the complexity behind a romance that is morally wrong. Dark, grim and utterly compelling, Bick's Drowning Instinct blurs the lines between right and wrong. Refreshingly original and beautifully written, Drowning Instinct takes YA fiction to a whole new level.

The Long Story? - This definitely isn't a novel for everyone The Short Story? - My favourite read of the year so far, Drowning Instinct takes forbidden romance to a whole new level. Incredibly raw and undoubtedly powerful, Bick explores the complexity behind a romance that is morally wrong. Dark, grim and utterly compelling, Bick's Drowning Instinct blurs the lines between right and wrong. Refreshingly original and beautifully written, Drowning Instinct takes YA fiction to a whole new level.

The Long Story? - This definitely isn't a novel for everyone, it explores the moral ambiguity behind a teacher and student love affair. On top of that, it also explores very serious psychological issues and dysfunctional families. So it's not a very happy book, for a contemporary fiction novel, it's definitely more teeth and claws then fluff and clouds. That said, it was absolutely brilliant. It was beautifully written, the narration was compelling and the plot was full of twists and turns. I know there are a couple of YA books that take on the teacher/student relationship aspect but none have been done as well as this. It was raw, full of emotion and refreshingly real. Bick isn't trying to sell the whole "THIS IS WRONG"perspective, in fact she writes such a beautiful love story that you question whether the love affair between Jenna and Mr Anderson is so wrong that it is right? It's such a beautiful complexity that pushes boundaries and blurs the lines. It's unpredictable and chaotic yet there is something compelling about the novel, I couldn't put it down!

The novel is completely narrated by our protagonist Jenna which allowed readers to form a deeper connection to her character. It probably also influenced our perspective of the book since it was very subjective however I thought that was actually a good thing because it really gave insight into Jenna's character . I really like Jenna, she was so broken and incredibly real that reading the book, I just felt waves of emotion crash over me as Jenna's life crumbled to pieces. She's gone through so much and yet nothing seems to be going right until she meets Mr. Anderson. I actually really liked his character, he wasn't despicable or pedophiliac, I genuinely believed that he loved Jenna and their romance was so many degrees of wrong yet you can't help but secretly wish things turned out differently.

Drowning Instinct is not a book for the light-hearted. It's dark and twisted and grim, it's explores touchy subjects that many authors wouldn't ever consider writing. It's a bold book and a gamble but I think Bick pulled it off really well, it was a beautiful love story that was different and not something that you usually find in YA. The characters were complex and truly troubled on so many levels. It's a book about companionship and love and questioning whether something is wrong if two people are truly in love and it's about the consequences of loving too much. Edgy, raw and chilling, Dark Instinct is a publishing phenomenal.
...more

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About Ilsa J. Bick

Ilsa J. Bick

1,568 followers

Among other things, I was an English major in college and so I know that I'm supposed to write things like, "Ilsa J. Bick is ." Except I hate writing about myself in the third person like I'm not in the room. Helloooo, I'm right here . . . So let's just say that I'm a child psychiatrist (yeah, you read that right)as well as a film scholar, surgeon wannabe (meaning I did an internship in surgery an ...more