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Vow: A Memoir of Marriage (and Other Affairs)
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Vow: A Memoir of Marriage (and Other Affairs)

3.06  ·  Rating details ·  506 Ratings  ·  111 Reviews
Monogamy is one of the most important vows we make in our marriages. Yet it is a rare spouse who does not face some level of temptation through the allure of other people. Sometimes the issues are resolved before anyone is hurt. But sometimes, as with Wendy Plump's marriage, the fallout is confronted head-on-when not one but both spouses cheat.In early 2005, Wendy Plump fo ...more
Published February 12th 2013 by Bloomsbury Publishing PLC
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Mar 09, 2013 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
First off, let me say that I found this book utterly fascinating because I am happily married and really do not understand what makes anyone get to the point of an affair. I honestly couldn't put it down and not because the writing flows well, though it does. I literally needed to see what ridiculousness Wendy Plump would say next. She readily admits that she was the adulterer first in her marriage, that she had difficulty with the "forsaking all others" as part of her vows but still wanted to r ...more
Terri Jacobson
Mar 02, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir
I really struggled with rating this book. I ended up giving it 4 stars because I think the writing is exceptionally good and I think the subject is an important one. I struggled because I really disliked the author. The memoir is about her experiences with adultery in her marriage, and she tries to draw some general conclusions from this. Her marriage of 18 years ended when she found that her husband had been maintaining an extramarital affair, in which he had a child and his lover and child liv ...more
Sally Ewan
Feb 16, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir, non-fiction
This was a well-written yet heart-rending depiction of a world without morals. The chapters alternate between "I was devastated when I found out my husband was having a long-term affair and had a child with the other woman" and "Here is the story of another one of my deliciously pleasant adulterous relationships". When we lose a reference point for right and wrong, the only option is to appeal to relative damage done. There was no mention of the immorality or wrongness of infidelity. In fact, he ...more
Nov 14, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Vow by Wendy Plump is not an easy book to read, and I imagine it wasn't an easy one to write. Plump's memoir is rife with painfully honest introspection about the beginning and end of her marriage. Far from being an example of connubial bliss, Plump's dissection of her marriage is so illuminating...almost to the point of being uncomfortable to the reader (Plump really bares all). But I'm so glad I kept reading - there were some valuable lessons to be learned from VOW, the most important of which ...more
Mar 16, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Part psychology, part memoir, Wendy Plump takes a look at how the laws of attraction can crucify the laws of reason. Nothing can stop a sleeper wave from drowning the promises made in marriage unless one refuses to step on the beach during high tide. A refreshingly candid look at how even intelligent people can struggle with controlling one's impulses and how anything can be rationalized in the quest for passion and fulfillment. And why being cuckold does not eliminate one from becoming the adul ...more
Wendy Plump's honesty is refreshing. Yes, it was totally lousy of her husband to carry on a ten-year affair with another woman, knock 'er up, and then carry on his life with Wendy and their two sons whilst "the other woman" and their child lived barely a mile away. Yet, as Plump makes clear from the outset, she is hardly blameless in the destruction of their marriage. From its earliest days, the marriage she shared with her husband Bill was characterized by affairs...a pattern that she began, an ...more
Mar 12, 2013 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I reserved this book @ my library because a review that I had read made it sound interesting. What was I thinking???

The sub-title "and Other Affairs" is more accurate than the title "Vows". How do I feel sorry for the author (and I am not sure that she wants sympathy...sometimes yes, sometimes no) when she is every bit as guilty of affairs as her unfaithful husband? The only difference is that her many affairs did not produce a child.

This is a sad (for the children involved) story of a husband a
Cara Ellison
May 20, 2013 rated it liked it
This is a very difficult book for me to rate. On pure writing, it's five stars or more; the lady can WRITE. Her prose is drop-dead gorgeous. The problem I had was that her pretty words didn't overcome my frustration and disgust with the author and her husband. She comes across as very honest - she lays her sins out for all to see which is very admirable - but if she had been a character in a novel, I'd have HATED her. She's oblivious. She's a liar, a schemer, a cheater. I just had no sympathy fo ...more
Wendy Plump threw open the doors of her deeply personal past and invited me in. She didn't have to, and frankly I'd have been ridiculously embarrassed to be caught even taking a peek in, but she invited me, and wow... what a find.

Nearly immediately after getting married, Wendy and her husband delved into the world of betrayal and infidelity. Wendy jumped first, drunk on the high of attraction and the chemical cocktail that new love brings. An inescapable desire to be honest about her transgressi
Cara Fox
Jul 28, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book caught me by surprise because it was not what I thought it would be. I quickly grabbed it without reading the jacket on a pre-vacation library run, thinking it might be a story on the ups and downs of marriage. Instead it was a story of affairs and a horrible, disintegrating marriage. I found it pretty well-written, although the author does not at all come off as a sympathetic character. Although she does a good job of describing her feelings about the experience, she doesn't come off ...more
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Wendy Plump has been a newspaper and magazine reporter for over twenty years. She has written for the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times and won several New Jersey Press Association Awards. She lives in New Hope, Pennsylvania, with her sons.
More about Wendy Plump...
“I have never cataloged what I would want in a marriage. I might as well do it now... I want an arrangement in which love and passion mingle and last. I want a rock to lean against. I want sex to pierce reality and come blazing out the other side. I want to feel that someone has my back. I want it to be us against the world. I want marriage to be cool. I want the words wife and husband to resonate with joy. I want our intimacy to be inviolate. I want it all under one roof. I want the institution to deserve my energy and my commitment and the last decades of my life.I want what Jane Cooper called "A radiance of attention/Like the candle's flame when we eat." I want to wake up next to a person who feels what I feel - that there is a constant, self-renewing joy in being with the other.” 4 likes
“As a young woman, I schooled my romantic sensibilities on the most impossible examples. "Romeo and Juliet" is one of my favorites. I once plotted out the length of time it took them to conjoin. Four days. Four days for one of the world's greatest stories of love and marriage to play out. I do not see how that is an example for the rest of us. If every marriage on record lasted only four days, then there wouldn't be a word for infidelity. There wouldn't be a word for divorce. There wouldn't be time for anything but sex and adoration. Sounds like a charming recipe. I just have trouble practicing it in extension.” 3 likes
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