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Adoption Is a Family Affair!: What Relatives and Friends Must Know, Revised Edition
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Adoption Is a Family Affair!: What Relatives and Friends Must Know, Revised Edition

3.55  ·  Rating details ·  108 Ratings  ·  25 Reviews
A child is coming – whether you approve or not it's time to get with the program!

If someone you care about – a family member, co-worker, or close friend – has recently announced that their family will be growing through adoption, you may have questions. After all, unless you have personally experienced adoption, you may know very little about how adoption works and what it
ebook, 155 pages
Published April 15th 2012 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers (first published March 31st 2001)
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Johnston did a very good job in making valid points on what relatives and friends should know. Some of the things were common sense to me, but of course we know not everyone has the same level of common sense. One thing that definitely struck me was the bonding necessary for the parents and the child immediately after the child has joined the family. Some time relatives mean well with offering to take care of the child, or insist that they immediately become part of the child's life, but it is n ...more
Kelley Cathcart
May 03, 2008 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Any one adopting
Recommended to Kelley by: Bethany Christian Services
This book was written with the tone that parents,and other relatives of the person adopting should "Get with the program" and while I'm certain that many people need such encouragement, my family didn't. I suggested this book to people before I'd read it, and when I read it I was shocked by the tone used. My mom was really upset because she and all of my family have been really supportive of our decision to adopt. Even my in-laws who aren't always that savvy on things that aren't mainstream, are ...more
Jan 29, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Pretty sure I am going to request everyone in my life read this "Cliff's Notes" version of what it means to have adoption be a part of your community's story. Great overview of the process, the misconceptions, and hurtful things you might accidentally say or do while trying to be "encouraging" along the way.
Sally Martin
Mar 16, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Just What the Title Says

Great for families and friends of those adopting! I'll recommend it for our closest loved ones, although they can skip the sections about adoption since they dont need to know the whole process. The best part was telling them stupid things people say and what they shouldn't!
Gayle Swift
Sep 12, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A Finely Honed Sense of Adoption-attunement
“Adoption is a Family Affair by Patricia Irwin Johnston” is a remarkable book written with compassion, professionalism and a finely honed sense of adoption-attunement. While the book is written to address the questions and knowledge gaps of the extended family and friends of an adopting family, this book has a great deal to offer adopters as well.
Johnston addresses the adoption journey with such great depth, wisdom, and practicality, that it is sure to
Mar 16, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: adoption, nook, parenting
Purchased this book to give to my in-laws as we pursue an open domestic adoption. Unfortunately they wouldn't read it! I don't know why. So I ended up reading it myself and summarizing it for them. I'm glad I read it. It was very useful and definitely clarified some things for me.

I've read many books on adoption, but most of them have been from the perspective of an adoptive parent. These books are focused on how to build healthy attachment, how to talk adoption with your children, how to talk a
Jul 25, 2011 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This book about adoption is directed towards the extended adoptive family - the adoptive grandparents, aunts and uncles. The format is very readable - usually a short chapter on a topic, following by several ways to get more information (i.e. books and websites). The first section of the book attempts to talk about some common grandparent reactions to adoption, including "what not to say" when your adult children announce their decision to adopt. Then, the book goes into several chapters of desc ...more
Jan 16, 2010 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: family, adoption
I had mixed feelings about this book. It is the only adoption book that I have found that is specifically geared toward extended family members and friends, to help them understand adoption. Multiple people have recommended this book as a resource, including friends who are adoptive parents, our adoption agency, and various online publications.

While the book does provide many great, straightforward answers to frequently asked questions by family and friends, I found some of the language and ter
Jan 18, 2010 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I saw this title on a list of suggested books given to me by our agency, and so I requested it as an inter-library loan from our local branch. When I went to pick it up, I has a photo on the front of the most white, WASP-y, blonde family you can imagine! So right away my expectations were lowered.

This book is written for friends and relatives of a family in the adoption process. If you have people in your life who are questioning your decision or struggling to accept your choice, th
This book is a pretty decent resource for the families of adoptive parents. I especially enjoyed seeing the author point out how insensitive it is to say, "I bet now that you are adopting, you will get pregnant." I have heard that at least 20 times since my husband and I decided to adopt, and it grates on me.

I was thinking about buying a couple copies for our families. The one thing that bothered me is that it suggests in different ways that the families do things to financially help the adoptiv
Feb 02, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction, 2015, adoption
Some helpful insights about what to expect when a family member or friend is adopting, and how to deal with strange situations tactfully. Not a lot of detail or statistics, but I thought the notes about where to find more information about certain topics were helpful.

This is much better than In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends., but I am disappointed that there isn't a more complete resource for interested loved ones.
Oct 17, 2014 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Both of our agencies had this book as required reading. It is an easy and almost enjoyable read because the author speaks very informally. The weird part is that the book seems to be written to give to parents of a couple adopting a child especially an infant domestically. Specifically is seems to be written to those parents who are hesitant of their children pursuing an adoption. Honestly, the information is good but if that is the suggested audience isn't going to read that book. Helpful infor ...more
Karen C
May 28, 2008 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: adoption
One of the only books of its kind, but not exactly what I wanted it to be.
The idea is for people who are adopting to give it to their family and friends, but it tends to talk down to those same family and friends.
Also, a pet peeve, but I can't stand how she used the word "adopter" - the same term thrown around by the anti-adoption crowd, who use in a decidely negative way.

Aside from that, in light of the fact that there aren't really any other books that act as a primer for relatives of adoptive
Oct 26, 2016 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
It was ok, but had several grammatical errors and glaring typos. I read the 2001 edition instead of 2012, so I am sure the newer version has better editing and updated information. It's a nice idea to create a book for family members to have their adoption questions answered, but it is impossible for one book to present the most relevant and accurate information unique to your specific adoption plan. Personally, I would feel more comfortable talking to my family and friends one-on-one rather tha ...more
May 30, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I loved this book. As Reece and I have shared our decision to adopt, it has sometimes been difficult to know how to respond to questions or comments. The author does a great job of explaining adoption to family members/close friends, including not just an overview of the process, but how to support the adoptive couple and adopted child. I loved the sections on what is and is not helpful, particularly about comments. I wish I could require our loved ones to read this book!
Jul 05, 2016 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I don't recommend this book to anyone first considering adoption, though I found it recommended on an article for just that crowd. It basically runs through all the negative connotations and reactions associated with adoption and why they aren't true - which might be great later on in your process when you're dealing with those reactions. But as you first are thinking about adoption, it's pretty depressing.
Nov 19, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The tone did seem a little authoritarian, but it is great info for those who haven't gone through the adoption process to understand what the adoption process and infertility is like. It helps explain why certain comments are hurtful- instead of family members thinking I'm "being too sensitive," they now have an understanding of why we prefer certain comments not be made.
Feb 03, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a good overview of the process of adoption as well as how to adjust and/or reply to other people's reactions and comments. It was really great, I just wished it was a little longer!
This book would prolly help primarily grandparents of the new adoptee. but is applicable to any family member who is going through this option.
Cynthia Tam
Aug 04, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
So glad one of my adoption group buddies referred this book to me. I bought copies for EVERYONE in the family (aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.)

Most people don't know what they think they know about adoption and how they can be of support. What's okay to talk about what's none of their business.

This book helps with ALL of that!
Jun 16, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I found this book to be VERY HELPFUL in understanding both the process of adoption in its various forms and the issues that face not only the adoptive parents, but also members of the extended family and friends of the adoptive parents. I HIGHLY recommend it.
Seth Goldsmith
This is a nice book to suggest (insist) to family members of adoptive parents. It might help to specify which chapters they should read as the book attempts to help relatives understand all types of adoption.
Nov 27, 2012 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Good overview of adoption related topics. It's the same information you could find on the internet but consolidated for grandparents.
Nov 19, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Pretty good book that covers a lot of great topics for extended family. Don't really agree with commentary re: sharing adoption finances but otherwise recommend this to other families.
Jan 15, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Cathy by: My sister
Great book for anyone with an adopted family member.
Michelle R.
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Apr 20, 2010
Cindy Bylund
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Mary ellen
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