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Overcoming Fake Talk: How to Hold Real Conversations That Create Respect, Build Relationships, and Get Results

3.96  ·  Rating details ·  133 ratings  ·  13 reviews
In Overcoming Fake Talk, business communication guru John R. Stoker offers proven advice for turning challenging confrontations into rewarding exchanges that foster collaboration, improve performance, and achieve results.
Paperback, 276 pages
Published May 14th 2013 by McGraw-Hill Education (first published January 1st 2013)
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May 01, 2014 rated it really liked it
Years ago in a corporate training session about report writing and communication a wise leader stated that, when communication is perfect, all other problems disappear. This statement makes sense because, when communication is perfect, everyone has identical understanding; there are no misunderstandings. "Overcoming Fake Talk" clarifies that in reality no two persons have identical perspective and offers a plethora of REAL steps to take toward more productive conversations and improved, cooperat ...more
Joseph Newell
Mar 06, 2019 rated it really liked it
This was a surprise for me, but I really appreciated John's approach to conversations centering 90% around understanding yourself and your emotions and goals. I found this to be very useful for being more self-aware and diagnosing why I get upset in certain situations.

There is also great advice about 4 different archetypes of personalities, tools for helping you understand where you fall, and advice for both dealing with and being a member of those personality groups.

The last thing I found most
Daniel Taylor
Want to learn how to have more productive conversations? "Overcoming Fake Talk" teaches you the skills to communicate about the things that matter. While packed with a lot of information, more graphics would help present what you're learning in a memorable way. I challenge you to get the book and start using its ideas today! ...more
John E. Smith
This book is NOT …

A sweeping new vision of business strategy.

An intricately designed model of human behavior.

A stirring account of leadership and creation of empire.

We already have books about fierce, crucial, difficult, and so on. We know that conversations are art more than science and that they are important in our lives. As I glance over the many titles of books from counseling, adult learning, leadership, human performance, training, and critical thinking (to say nothing of my extensive “D
Sep 03, 2014 rated it liked it
Business communication books are usually pretty bad-- they tell you stuff that anyone who is not a narcissist already knows: listen, respect people, etc. This one is a cut above the usual though. Like any business book, it offers a taxonomy of people (in this case based on work styles: those who want recognition, those who want to collaborate, those who want to analyze problems, and those who want to deal generalities and the big picture). Other books will create much longer lists of types, but ...more
Aug 18, 2014 rated it did not like it
Shelves: owned-books
So boring. So much common sense put into such complicated terms. I could rewrite the principles of this book into 4 or 5 pages and you wouldn't miss anything.

Here is how bad some of the wording is, "You will reflect the reflection of others in everything you do and say." Really? Was there no other way to say that?

The graphics and charts are pretty useless, too. All of them show either circular cycles or polarities that could be better summed up with just words. I am not the most visual person
Aug 25, 2014 rated it it was ok
I received this book for free from the Goodreads First Reads Program. As summarized by a previous reviewer I really didn't find anything new in here. I found that a lot of the concepts were self learned from working several years in the work force by working with the right (and wrong) people, attending the right conferences, reading the right books, and personal experience. However, I do think this would make an excellent required book for high school seniors or undergraduates just entering the ...more
Wayne McCoy
Aug 18, 2019 rated it liked it
'Overcoming Fake Talk: How to Hold Real Conversations That Create Respect, Build Relationships, and Get Results' by John Stoker offers some good advice for having conversations that get to the heart of the matter.

Using a model based on the acronym of REAL, the author talks about having conversations without putting judgment, creating resistance, asking questions, and listening to others. Various principles are added to the toolbox including those for knowledge, reflection, and discovery. The dif
Oct 22, 2019 rated it liked it
Decent book on conversations. Having a hard time really thinking that the content will stick.
May 17, 2016 rated it did not like it
I gave this book one star based on the title. I thouht the book would be about dealing with insincere people (fake talk). Of course, if I would have read the back of the book, I might have known it was a book on communicstion--but still, what's with the "fake title"????????????? For a book that is all about communication skills, the author did an extremely poor job of choosing a title that properly "communicated" the book topic. I completed this book only because of the book challenge.
If one is
Chantal Bechervaise
Jan 30, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Everyone needs to communicate but so many people do not know how to do it effectively. Overcoming Fake Talk by John Stoker will is full of examples on how to communicate better, especially during difficult conversations. My favorite chapter is the one entitled "Why Ego Off?" It provides some great tips on receiving feedback and listening with empathy. This is a book that deserves several readings. Be prepared to mark it up and take notes along the way. ...more
John Errigo
Jun 01, 2013 rated it did not like it
The book has a good premise - but really nothing new. I was hoping for something REALLY innovative. The author has done a great job communicating those ideas, in a crisp and clear manner, but the material is old technology.
Dec 05, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Reaches out to the gut! Practical with real-life anecdotes makes this book enjoyable and easy to apply in real life. Listen to an interview with John Stoker here... ...more
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John R. Stoker has been immersed in organizational development and change for over 20 years. He is the Founder and President of Light Storm Consulting, Inc. and DialogueWORKS, Inc. In these roles John has worked extensively with a number of companies, helping them increase their capacity to enhance effectiveness and improve results. John is also the author of the popular groundbreaking book Overco ...more

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