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How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk

4.01  ·  Rating details ·  1,662 ratings  ·  218 reviews
The renowned #1 New York Times bestselling authors share their advice and expertise with parents and teens in this accessible, indispensable guide to surviving adolescence.

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish transformed parenting with their breakthrough, bestselling books Siblings Without Rivalry and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. No
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published August 23rd 2005 by William Morrow (first published 2005)
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Average rating 4.01  · 
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 ·  1,662 ratings  ·  218 reviews

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Jul 05, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, library
I wholeheartedly stand behind the belief that through our interactions with children we can learn how to behave respectfully to our surroundings; patience, kindness, and acceptance should be shown to all.

So, picking up this book at the library (where I coincidentally discovered the shelf full of psychology reads I'm about to devour!!) felt like the natural next step in learning more about our methods of communication. Also, I have a nine-year-old sister at home who I want to feel like she's being liste
Georgina Allen
May 10, 2013 rated it liked it
I wasn't quite sure what to rate this one. I think if I could give half stars it would be a 3.5.

It's well written, great cartoons and a very helpful way to look at relationships in your life and how to communicate better. However, I felt the content was very sparse compared to the previous books (How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Sibling Rivalry) and didn't really add a lot - just demonstrated how the same techniques could be altered slightly to improve relationships with your teen
May 26, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Useful Material

The techniques of mindful listening, thinking, and speaking that are discussed in this text seem really useful in the everyday world.
Feb 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Teens are in that beautifully awkward growing period... not yet adults and mostly done with being little kids. This book is a really helpful reminder of 1) how they're thinking about life and 2) how to respond and listen well to encourage communication. It's immensely practical.
Jun 10, 2016 rated it did not like it
Shelves: nonfic, parenting
This book is so cheesy. I feel a little dumber after having listened to it.

The cheesiness of the dialogue is amplified by the cheesy way the Ms. Faber reads it. Picture an old TV show from the 50s where a boy in a ballcap says "Gee pop! That's swell!" That's the way the she reads this stuff. And the actual written dialog isn't much better.

According to the info, both writers are reading this audiobook. Their voices must be freakin' identical because I can't tell that there are 2 readers. I pull
Apr 05, 2013 rated it it was ok
This book offers solid but general tactics for fostering positive communication with your kids. It does not, however, go far enough in terms of giving advice for dealing with teenagers. The scenarios play out too optimistically, with teens relenting quickly. The authors virtually skip common challenges like what to do when your teen is being irrational or continues to push back or outright defies you. And, there is no mention of what to do about the "communication" trick most teens have mastered ...more
Feb 01, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I really liked this book. I learned so much things in it. As a teen I realize that there is so much things going on in the world now that out parents didn't encounter at our age but they are trying their best to understand us. Reading this also helped me think about what I might do instead of just yelling when my mom and I get into a heated argument. I truly recommend this book to those adults needing help connect to their teenager or teens that want to change their relationship with their paren ...more
Feb 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Parents, Teens, Youth Pastors/Leaders, Counselors
Does it ever feel like you and your teen are speaking two completely different languages? This book will help you get your point across so that you can communicate your feelings, expectations, instructions, hopes, etc., effectively and with compassion. The authors don't pretend that they're revealing some secret esoteric psychological magic trick or tactic for parents to manipulate their teens with, rather they propose that we treat our teens with the dignity and respect they deserve, without sa ...more
Chad Simons
Sep 29, 2019 rated it really liked it
I need books like this from time to time. There is not groundbreaking information in these pages, just collected and organized tidbits of information presented in a way for all of us to understand.

I’m not a great communicator and often my intentions are not delivered with the way of hope. Especially with the kids.

So I was recommended this book by a dear friend who is wise beyond wise.

I like the way the author sets up scenarios and role plays. Some of the topics bordered in cheesy, but I took
Patricia Magdalena
Rating 4.5/5.0

A great parenting and communication book! It actually laid out some common knowledge. However, it gave us examples on how to use it on parenting, especially for teenagers. It covered the simplest issues like doing homework until the most serious problem like sex and drugs. I'm not a parent, but I can definitely see myself using the lessons I got from this book. A must read for parents!

The missing half of the rating is because I still got confused at some poi
Apr 05, 2018 rated it really liked it
Some thoughts were helpful.
Brenda Brown
This was good and very useful. I read it on my Kindle and I feel like it's the kind of book I'd like to have in paperback so I could flip through quickly for a refresher.
Aug 07, 2017 rated it really liked it
Very useful. Listened to audio version.
Oct 25, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A relatively helpful self-help book designed to foster better communication between parents/adults and teenagers. I see that many of the other reviews saying it’s all fairly obvious stuff and what every parent should be doing naturally. However, the point they miss in their sanctimoniousness is that not every parent knows these tricks, it’s not like there were lessons about parenting at any point in school or during your first pregnancy.

We know that people tend to follow the pattern of how they
Aug 18, 2017 rated it it was ok
Rather boring with a touch of stupid. This book hasn't enlightened me at all. I found that I was doing most of the things already, and probably any parent treating their child with respect does too. At least it's slightly better that the previous one, a touch more mature but still written as for the mentally impaired or something.
Emma Rose Ribbons
Jun 06, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: motivational
Very straightforward approach to communication with teenagers and really anyone. I'm neither a parent nor a teen but as a teacher, I feel like any approach can help. The author's advice is down-to-earth and easy to implement, with lots of examples. It's an excellent book and all that's left for me to do is adapt it for the classroom and see if it works.
Jul 03, 2019 rated it really liked it
I've listened twice now. I like how it's in a workshop format & you get real life examples of patents dealing with some pretty tough things.
Jan 31, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
At a cardiologist visit this past summer after my son had a health scare because of some poor choices he made, the doctor said very sincerely, "Being a teenage boy these days is really difficult." My son nodded in agreement. Then the doctor finished, "It's almost as difficult as being the parent of a teenage boy." Yeah, I think the doctor understood us both.

This book was recommended to me by a neighbor who has really easy-seeming teenagers with relatively small-seeming problems. The
Jun 08, 2019 rated it it was ok
Shelves: 2019
I have teenagers, well one teenager and one preteen, but I want very much to raise them well and as Hermione says, "When in doubt, go to the library." I haven't read parenting books since I had babies, but I thought I would see what I could learn about teens. When I came across How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, I was plenty interested. Communicating with teens is no easy task so I was happy to read all about it.

This book
Talitha Cunio
Mar 10, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting, audiobook
Pros - I appreciated the parent/teen examples of empathic listening. Though I was already pretty familiar with empathic listening from things like "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" and "seven habits of highly effective people", it was still a nice reminder. I also appreciated the section on problem solving, natural consequences, and basically how to make a plan with your teen for them to be responsible for what you expect of them while maintaining a healthy relationship. Cons - A lot of the ex ...more
Jun 27, 2018 rated it liked it
I found the solutions given pretty obvious, many times discussed and described.
It could happen, that it is just the way my parents almost never been acting with me as described in most “bad examples” in my teenage years, so I just copy the “good examples” they set, when it came to deal with my teenager. And also it just... came. It is really easy to see when these “bad tactics” just don’t work and switch to “good” ones next time.
Maybe it is an eye-opener for those who want to be different with
Dec 13, 2017 rated it really liked it
I read the kid version of this years ago, and found my relationship with my kids improved drastically after implementing the techniques described in the book. Now that my kids are getting older, I thought it would be helpful to read the teen version. What I found encouraging is that most of the techniques are the same as for kids, except there are more mature issues and their growing independence to consider. I think I will have to revisit this in a couple years to make sure I am using these str ...more
Jan 19, 2018 rated it liked it
The ideas are not new but it is a good review and the suggestions are good. This is a very fast read....I think it would be good to read it quickly and then to spend a week focusing on one chapter at a time so that you can practice the skills mentioned and build on them—otherwise it is easy to forget the ideas and suggestions. The writing was annoying. The entire book is set in dialogue as the author teaches a group of parents and their teens. I suppose that is what makes the story so quick to r ...more
Nov 13, 2018 rated it really liked it
I picked up this book because I'm about to start teaching teens, and I've never done this before!
There weren't a lot of completely new concepts in this book for me, I felt like the main points were about reflective listening and components of motivational interviewing. That's fine by me though because I always like refreshers and it was nice to have them with examples. I also thought the 'fantasy discussing' tactic was really interesting. I'll try to use some of these skills in the future,
Matthew Hodge
Sep 22, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help, kindle
Very similar to Faber and Mazlish's original book, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen except adapted for parents of teenagers.

The advice is good but I have decided I dislike self-help books written as semi-fictional accounts. In this case, each chapter is structured as the therapist meeting with a subset of fictional parents based on conglomerates of real parents they have worked with in the past.

The thing is, though, I always wonder if they didn't make the stories work out
Apr 05, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2018, parenting
This book tweaks the original "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen" and applies the approach to teenagers - I liked the first book and I liked this one too. It fits well with my approach to parenting and wider relationships, I can get on board with taking a more respectful style of communication when challenging behaviour and I'm all for creating a pleasant, calm and positive environment at home (well, as much as that's possible with everyones hormones on overdrive!) I found the book a good reminder ...more
Dana mostly reading books
I am a bit disappointed with this book.
I read the previous book How to talk to kids so they listen and it was extremely helpful. The detailed exercises in that one really helped.
This book felt a bit like a watered down version of the previous one. It basically covers the exact same concepts but doesn’t go into detail at all. I understand that she is trying to say the basic communication skills work but I had hoped to get a little more help.

Jul 31, 2018 rated it really liked it
You always want to help your kids as a parent. And parents and kids are all under pressure, whether from school, work, or friends.

This book has some good guidelines on some techniques to help with not just communicating with kids, but everyone in general.

It's a good read, and I'm interested to see how I can improve communicating wi th others.

Whether you think your relationship with your kids is fine, it never hurts to stop learning new things to improve yourse
Denise Stevenson
Feb 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
An impulse buy from a Kindle promotion and I don't regret it at all. I have my third teen at home (the other two have 'flown the nest'), so I've been here a couple of times before, but, you're never too old or too wise to learn and learn I did. I found this book really easy to read and pick up the parenting tips that are offered up. Thoroughly recommend this for any parents of teens, the issues may slightly change in detail, but in nature, they're pretty timeless.
Oct 24, 2017 rated it liked it
I read this book for an adolescent counseling class. It's fine. Pros: the actual content is good, and the cartoons are a fun way to break up the text. It's highly readable and very quick. Cons: it's actually so cheesy even I had trouble, and I am usually totally fine with cheese. I actually thought it must be at least 20 years old but just realized it was written in 2005, which makes the outdatedness inexplicable.
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Adele Faber graduated from Queens College with a B.A. in theater and drama, earned her master's degree in education from New York University, and taught in the New York City high schools for eight years before joining the faculty of the New School for Social Research in New York and Family Life Institute of C.W. Post College of Long Island University. She is the mother of three children.