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Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family

4.33  ·  Rating details ·  498 ratings  ·  66 reviews

The Companion Volume to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

In this honest, illuminating book, internationally acclaimed parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish bring to life the principles of famed child psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott, and show how his theories inspired the changes they made in their relationships with their own children.


Paperback, 255 pages
Published December 14th 2004 by William Morrow Paperbacks (first published 1973)
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Average rating 4.33  · 
Rating details
 ·  498 ratings  ·  66 reviews

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Apr 05, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Don't be put off by the 70's title. I've read tons of parenting books and I love this one because of the mistakes the parents make along the way. It is so real in the sense that it talks about parent anger and the explosions that occur when parents do not express their anger along the way. There is steady progress forward for the parents although the patterns are slow to change. That is reality. It is hard to change patterns. It gives hope that change is possible and that we can be imperfect, hu ...more
Mar 21, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Raising humane human beings. I think that is what parents aim for but don't know how to achieve it. Not only is it good for parents but also for human beings in relationships. The parents in this book are not perfect they make huge mistakes, that frankly make me feel better. And there are solutions and ways to learn and have our kids learn. It took me a long time to read because I would put it down and really think about it. One of my favorite parts:
"Our work is raising children. Our brick
Jun 15, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: non-fiction, children, own
This book's recommended interactions with children felt really patronizing to me. For instance, when a child asks for help remembering to bring something to school they've repeatedly forgotten, the author suggests that you sympathize with the child, "Remembering stuff can be hard," but ultimately make the child remember it on their own. I think that's ridiculous. If my husband asked for help remembering, I'd try to help remind him. At a minimum I might make a suggestion to make remembering easie ...more
Apr 16, 2011 rated it it was amazing
I LOVE THIS BOOK! As parenting books go, I think this one is in the top 3. I have read it three times in the past 6 years. I think this should be an annual read for me. Just a nice little reminder that I am not alone in the big world of sometimes crazy Motherhood.

Labeling is disabling. Describe what has happened or what you are feeling. There are so many good quotes and suggestions I feel are so useful as a parent. I look forward to reading Dr. Ginott's book, Between Parent and Child, that this
Feb 07, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book has shifted the way I think about my relationships with my kids...and, really, with everyone. The principles included in it seem like good principles for how we should all deal with each other -- to approach each other with empathy and understanding, to listen to each other's perspectives and feelings, to give feedback and make requests without insulting or belittling each other, to express our own emotions authentically (but, again, without demeaning other people). The authors give al ...more
May 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This was excellent. Very realistic, affirming, and full of insightful information. It worked well with my personality that is quite strict relating to a few matters and otherwise quite relaxed. The section on how mothers guilt actually creates major issues for our kids was very RELEASING!
Oct 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-2017
Unlike the other books I’ve read by these authors, this is in semi-fictional form. Each incident described is based on reality, but without any individual being identifiable. The style won't appeal to everyone, but I found it very appealing.

Jan is the name of the narrator. She has three children: two boys and a girl. One of her problems is that her sons fight a lot. Jan tends to sympathise with the younger one, but she comes to realise that this helps nobody. Instead she learns new ways of enab
Rafał Nam
Nov 03, 2018 rated it did not like it
Authors are not educated psychologists, they only attend lectures of dr Ginnot. It is in my opinion not enough to write books. There is no difference noticed beetween upbringing girls and boys. Goal of upbringing is not a happy familly, because in fact it means rather happy parents and children that don't missbehave, but how to bring up a child to become a happy and successful adult.
Alex Vasilenko
Dec 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: self
It's a very good complimentary to "How to talk that kids will listen and how to listen that kids will talk". Personally I find it even clearer and better to remember in comparison with workbook-style of the former book. Recommended for parents to improve relationship with their kids/self-esteem/kids esteem
Apr 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Life changing.
Angela Stokes
Mar 20, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Really interesting read, very helpful.
Sarah Whitney
Jan 08, 2010 rated it really liked it
What is our major goal as parents?
Still another woman glibly said, "To produce children who are, among other things, brilliant, polite, charming, neat and well-adjusted, of course."
Dr. Ginott looked solemn. It was obvious that this last comment had not amused him. He leaned forward and said, "This is how I see it. It seems to me that our large goal is to find the ways to help our children become humane and strong.
"For what does it profit us if we have a neat, polite, charming you
Allegra S
Dec 06, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book has a lot of great tips and interesting ideas. Very similar to their other book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and I think I'd recommend reading that one first. This one however has a lot more long written examples, so is a good companion book.
Oriyah Nitkin
Jul 15, 2016 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: People.
Recommended to Oriyah by: Zeldy Marcus
There's a lot of hype surrounding this book and these authors - I got the impression years ago that they were part of the fabric of the wallpaper of education and parenting-minded western much so that I almost took their existence for granted and never bothered to put it on my "to-read" list...until a friend lent my husband her copy.

Since it was lying around for a while, and since I read so much faster than my husband (no offense or criticism meant to him - it's kind of
Jan 12, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Goes into more detail then How to Talk So Kids Will Listen with more examples of Haim Ginott's principles at work with real examples gleaned from the parents from a group he ran. Although written many years ago, the principles are good for any generation. I want to add this book to my library. These two books are the best books on discipline I've ever picked up and they make sense. Anything that gets into strong-arming, controlling, and spanking children makes me cringe. This book is about discipline ...more
Tim O'neill
Mar 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Another win from these two. I think this was the first one written, explaining their empathetic approach, which of course wouldn't be nearly so interesting if it didn't seem to be so effective and satisfying. Some of the examples in this one (since it's almost fifty years old) would likely get you arrested today, e.g. the one where the mother lets her kid walk to kindergarten in a snowstorm, or where another decides to leave her three-year-old in the car when she goes inside to pick up her six-y ...more
Dec 21, 2007 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: parents who want to be great parents!
Shelves: parenting
I keep starting this book and cannot seem to get through it. Part of the problem is that I've read Haim Ginott's bestseller "Between Parent and Child." Ms. Faber studied with Dr. Ginott and basically is doing her own book on what he taught her. So I find it a bit repetitive for me. I also just read Dr. Wallace Goddard's book "Soft-Spoken Parenting" - he also worked with Dr. Ginott (Dr. Goddard helped update "Between Parent..." in 2003 actually) and I found that a bit repetitive too.

Apr 28, 2014 rated it really liked it
This was good communication and good parent child relationships in the 70's--so plenty of beatings of the children and some pretty shocking mess-ups. I think about my worst moments as a mom and they do not hold a candle to the parents in this book, like telling a child he is a worthless piece of garbage and what not. I enjoyed this book because unlike all the other good communication books, it is almost entirely personal stories. For people who don't enjoy the big words or the theory of the good ...more
Daily Alice
Mar 27, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Parents of children of any age
Recommended to Daily by: Montessori teacher
Fascinating book full of great stories of parents dealing with day to day & more serious run ins with their children. The book is based on the work of Dr Haim Ginott and behind all the practical advice is the idea that parents & children should be treated with respect at all times and that a parents job is to raise a humane person who can live his life with strength and dignity. The advice is practical and simple and, if you're a parent or deal with children in any way, very useful. Now ...more
Sundarraj Kaushik
Jul 26, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Another wonderful book for the parents. The book is on similar lines as the book "How to talk to kids so they listen and how to listen so they talk".

It talks about how the parents faced different issues in dealing with children, children who bullied their siblings, children that did not do their tasks. The books is a series of discussion of parents with child psychologist Dr. Haim Ginot and the outcome of the suggestions provided by the Doctor.

A must good read for all the parents wh
May 31, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This is a gem of a book and I'm sure will remain to be a classic. I read the authors HOW TO TALK.. and really enjoyed it and I'm glad I read this book too. This book resonates well with my beliefs and recognises that respect for both parents and children is key to effective parenting. I appreciate how it was narrated from the perspective of a parent, who like any parent has daily struggles who reflects about hers and others' parental experiences. I have read several parenting books and will cont ...more
Aug 13, 2015 rated it it was amazing
It took me 6 months to finish this book. But it was so helpful that I already started to read it again. Gives great direction for parents - and its not too late even if they're 15! Now I just have to remember what I'm supposed to do and say in the heat of the moment. Hopefully it'll sink in more when I read it the 2nd time around. I don't really buy the story that goes along with the book, but that doesn't matter to me. It makes it easier to read. If you are experiencing frustration with your ki ...more
Oct 09, 2011 rated it it was amazing
I found this book resourceful and helpful. Not only does it discuss understanding your child it discusses the feelings parents have and how they effect the way we parent (I found this part especially useful). The book is written in a style where there are lots of stories and examples which I find easy to comprehend. I will definitely read this book again. I highly recommend it for those looking for support and ideas when it comes to parenting.
Aug 12, 2008 rated it it was amazing
My favorite parenting book. Filled with examples from the parenting class the authors were taking from Haim Ginott. I find it easier to tackle than his own writing, and I like it better than their later books (How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, etc.). I think just because it is mostly stories of the group--his advice to them and their stories. It is a bit dated: the group is mostly stay-at-home moms,etc. I haven't read what looks to be an updated version. I re-read this regularly.
I loved reading this book. I'd already read How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk and also Siblings Without Rivalry and I really learned a lot from this book as well. I liked the different perspective on the same parenting principles that this book offered, and the wonderful mix of down-to-earth reality but encouragement. I'd highly recommend to any parents or anyone who works with kids!
Sep 06, 2007 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: everyone in the world
This is an awesome parenting book, the first glimpse I've ever had into what truly human(e) parenting would look like. But it's actually a book about communication and could be used in any context really -- work, love, family, anytime you have to do something with another person.

I like this book a lot better than how to talk so kids will listen, their other book on the same topic but it is less hands on/self-help and more theoretical/anecdotal.
Mar 15, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting, read-again
*Don't try to be patient; be constructively angry
-YELL whatever you want them to remember i.e. the rule or what I want them to do or how I feel: I'm so mad right now! Put the toilet seat down!
-NEVER attack them personally i.e. I wish I'd never had kids!/ You're such a pain!
-Give a warning. i.e. I'm about to lose it; you have one more chance to ask me nicely.
May 01, 2009 rated it liked it
A little dated. I have an older copy. Some ideas were good.
LET THEM SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS "Don't just do something, stand there."
Accept child's feelings. Don't downplay or disregard them.
Respect your feelings. Don't do things out of guilt or duty.
Don't blame. State what needs to be done. "The milk needs to be cleaned up."
Mar 23, 2009 rated it it was amazing
I encourage all parents to read this together with How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk. These books have totally sold me on a new way of thinking about how to parent. Love them.
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Adele Faber graduated from Queens College with a B.A. in theater and drama, earned her master's degree in education from New York University, and taught in the New York City high schools for eight years before joining the faculty of the New School for Social Research in New York and Family Life Institute of C.W. Post College of Long Island University. She is the mother of three children.