Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation

by Jamye Waxman

Masturbation is like tuning a radio: you don't know what frequencies you'll enjoy until you play with the knobs. Masturbation has a complicated stigma attached to it; everybody is doing it, but not everybody talks about it. Some were told that touching oneself would cause cute kittens to die, some were told masturbation led to blindness. Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation is here to debunk those masturbation myths, and reinforce the truth.

Masturbation is a totally natural and normal way for women to connect with and find pleasure in their bodies. Fun, informative, and illustrated, this book provides women with a wealth of masturbation knowledge, its history, the mechanics of it, the joys of sexy toys, plus clear, concise tips on getting off.

Genres: Sexuality, Nonfiction, Feminism, Health

304 pages, Paperback

First published October 28, 2007

About the author

Jamye Waxman is a writer, author, sex educator and maker of erotic videos. She has written sex advice and other articles for magazines including Playgirl, Men's Health, Women's Health, Zink and on Zug.com.

Reviews

[Rose May · Rating 5 out of 5]

Note: This review, and all my reviews, comes from my blog - Romantic Rose's Bookshelf (http://romantic-rosesblog.blogspot.com)

"Poor is the woman whose pleasure depends upon the permission of others."

First of all, let’s start off with saying this isn’t a review, it’s a recommendation. It’s not a romance novel, hence the OTR (Other Than Romance) before the title in the post. This book is about more than just ‘how to’ masturbate – though if you’re a first timer, it certainly offers some good tips in getting to know yourself. This book discuss the social stigma surrounding even the word ‘masturbation’ – especially in regards to women. If you think about it, males’ practice of ‘pulling the chain’ is a fairly common and widely recognized joke, that is even seen on TV shows like Two and a Half Men, Saturday Night Live, or the Simpsons. But female masturbation? Not so much.

Females, however, feel just as sexual inside as males. We are all sexual beings, and we’ve been raised to believe that’s not okay or that only dirty sluts masturbate, have sex before marriage, or (good heavens) read romance. Some of us are willing to do all those things in private but don’t want to proudly proclaim our sexual habits to the world. I’ll admit that I myself am not particularly comfortable in admitting my self-pleasure habits. It’s an issue that I’ve debated firmly back and forth, consulting religious texts that tore me one way and books like Waxman’s that would prod me back towards masturbation.

However, Waxman’s book is so extraordinarily well written that I believe myself to now be completely decided on the issue of masturbation. As in, HELLO WORLD, I do masturbate. I have sexual fantasies that I would never want to occur in real life but use to get off. And hello world, I’m no longer going to feel ashamed about my sexuality as if I need to be a pure, chaste woman. This book taught me the truth on masturbation – that it’s not wrong to love yourself. After all, you have sex with people you love, right? Well, I love myself and I plan to continue loving myself until I get carpel tunnel in both wrists (would that even happen to a woman, anyway?).

Waxman’s book is very informative – it hit the nail on the head for me several times in discovering just why I was so insecure and uneducated about my personal sexuality. It also pointed out the stereotypes and inequalities that will drive any self-respecting feminist slightly batty (myself including). Waxman also points out that the only way to end this inability to discuss romance, love, and sex (solo flight or partner) is for someone to break the ice and begin talking about it. Begin writing about it. And begin accepting it as okay. It was a very empowering read about getting the world to accept a person’s innate, natural sexuality.

So ladies (and gents), accept your jerking off or kitty-petting! I hope you do so for anyone you meet (including, dare I say it, your children - buy them the book, slip it under their door, whatever). I also hope, whether you be a new member or president of Club Hand, you pick up this book. It really does teach you a lot about yourself and society and is well worth the 9.99$. Also, Strokettes and Wangers, please share your views on masturbation with the rest of the world. Shock them, intrigue them, but ultimately teach them that self-pleasure is not for dirty skanks, but for any person who wants a well-rounded sexuality. After all, the best way to know what you want from your partner is to know yourself implicitly. Waxman does a huge service to our gender, and leads us towards equality. So, ladies, pick up a copy of Jamye Waxman’s Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation and let the masturbation revolution (and fun) begin!!!

*** Waxman also includes some great resources for further reading/viewing/sex-toy-buying/fantasizing. Fun stuff. If you’d like to communicate personally with me about sexuality, I’d love to chat – just comment below (or if you want to talk privately, ask me for my email).

[Kirsten Holen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was given to me as a present.

I am a woman who is already in touch with her body, so unfortunately there was nothing really interesting or new in this book for me. It's good to know there is somebody publishing this information, though, for less knowledgeable women.

That being said, anyone who is getting over some sort of mental block or who just hasn't tried exploring, young or old, would benefit from this book. It touches (hehe) every subject possible to make you look at your body and your self differently.

If a guy were to be so brave to buy this book, I would give him a high five. There are a lot of little 'secrets' in here to help men get more intimate and be more attentive to their women.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Masturbation is a healthy part of every person’s life. Even as part of a relationship and while maintaining a healthy sex life, self-love still plays a healthy role in one’s life.

People start exploring their bodies at very young ages; from infant boys who every time you change a diaper, their hands are immediately exploring their penis and young girls who will mindlessly start exploring themselves whenever time permits. This is extremely healthy and positive behavior, but there are a great deal of people and organizations who beg to differ, going as far as to saying that any type of sexuality whatsoever, including masturbation, is unnatural, sinful, and just about anything else they can think of in order to scare people out of doing something that is natural and should be celebrated.

Jamye Waxman has a master’s degree in sex education and has written the book Getting Off, an entire guide to masturbation just for women–Or for men who want to know more about the body of a woman and pleasuring all of those sensual zones a woman has. Getting Off is an asset for every single woman, regardless of their knowledge of sexuality or their bodies. The book goes over several different topics, from the anatomy of an orgasm (the small, indifferent orgasm, the mediocre, satisfying-but-not-by-much orgasm, the can’t-get-enough, pass out afterward orgasm, and everything in between), fantasies, vibrators and other sex toys that can be used to heighten sexual pleasure while masturbating, how masturbation is viewed by mainstream media and the people who use the media as their only ground for knowledge, and so much more.

While reading through the different sections of the book, I was overjoyed to see a lot of the topics brought up that I didn’t expect to be brought up in such a refreshing light, such as the topic of anal sex and stimulation and how a great deal of women enjoy anal stimulation but feel too shy to explore the possibilities it can bring them sexually due to its social stigma as being referred to as strictly an exit. It also highlights a great deal of fun facts, such as the fact that graham crackers and Corn Flakes, food items that people eat to curb hunger, which in fact invented to curb masturbation, and the first vibrators were found in doctors’ offices to help cure women of “hysteria,” or what I deem as merely “sexual frustration” since the hysterical woman stereotype is still alive and going strong.

Getting Off is a resource that you will find yourself flipping through again and again, it is full of extremely positive and helpful information and completely obliterates the falsities that society and mainstream media have put in place for women, especially the “prudish woman” title or the belief that women cannot be sexual and sexually satisfying individuals.

[Zuzka Jakúbková · Rating 4 out of 5]

Encouraging literature on woman's sexual self-exploration, with helpful practical part on recommended technique and sex toys. Also includes chapters on history of masturbation and depiction of masturbation in mass media.

It's not too heavy on the science stuff (with either physiology or mass media analysis), but it does convey the necessary message that it's okay to jill off and the tips on how to do it safely.

Well worth read, would recommend.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title says it all!

[~•verena•~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 ⭐️

MASTURBATION. How can one simple word be so complex?...

- Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, p. 1

Inspirational and very powerful when it comes to getting rid of the unnecessary stigmatization around female pleasure.

... While rape and murder are freely broadcast at all hours of the day on the news and on popular TV shows, female sexuality and masturbation are still regarded as heavy-hitting, hard-to-digest subjects...

- Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, 81%


... We live in a place where millions of preachers, teachers, parents, and concerned citizens promote a world without touch, at least until marriage, and then and only then in bed with the person you’ve legally bound yourself to. These “upstanding citizens” have spent years trying to downplay the health and emotional benefits of self-love. But if we think about it, who really has the right to tell us that it’s not okay to touch ourselves, that it’s not okay to find ways to make ourselves feel good? Telling someone that it’s bad to love herself is silly, impractical, and backward...
... The fact is that it’s the best way to worship your body, to get to know yourself better—and, with a few small clauses, it’s the safest sex you can have...

- Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, 59%

This book is very informative in terms of how the female body works and what one can try out. Also the anatomy is explained in detail.
It's a bit repetitive, which is probably because the chapters can be read out of order, independently from each other.
There are so many pages about sex toys from specific companies, this reads a bit like a commercial. Funny thing is, when I googled some of the products, I couldn't find them, sometimes not even the company that produced them. This was released in 2007, so it's clearly outdated in 2026 and the pages with product recommendations or other resources can be skipped - they might not exist anymore.

It’s definitely a great book, for someone who wants to be more informed on the topic, but people who are not “beginners” might already know about most of the things in there.

I found it very empowering though!

... our bodies are sacred temples and we need to worship them as such...

- Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, 61%


... Women who masturbate are open to the sensations going on in their body. We don’t think of masturbation as a reward for being good, or as consolation for being alone...
... more women masturbate when they’re having sex or are sexually fulfilled than when they aren’t...

- Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, 84%


... It’s a good feeling to own myself, to own my body, and to be the creator of my own world...
- Betty Dodsen

- Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, 86,10%


... masturbation is sex with someone you love...

- Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, 87%

[Brennon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting.
Although I am a male, it was interesting to read about the variety of ways and techniques women can use to pleasure themselves.
As a married man, it was interesting to read about the sexual activity of women who are actually “in the mood”. With a wife who endlessly claims to be “too tired” or not “ in the mood”, the concept that some women like sex is comforting.
After being starved of sex for a number of years now, it is hard to not be insulted. Maybe if I keep reading books like these I will stumble upon some secret technique to give her pleasure, if she ever lets me touch her again.

[Nada · Rating 4 out of 5]

It wasn’t any information I didn’t know already. The most enlightening thing was what female ejaculation really is. Maybe a man can read it to learn some things.

[Trista Morrison · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first few chapters were full of useful, hands-on tips for getting…well, hands on. But I found much of the rest of the book read like “filler.”