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101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last
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101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last

3.57  ·  Rating details ·  196 Ratings  ·  31 Reviews
With the current divorce rate spiking at a dizzying sixty percent, it is clear that young couples are not being taught the skills needed to navigate through the conflicts and difficulties of being in a committed relationship. Charlie and Linda Bloom, psychotherapists with fifty-five years of combined experience in relationship counseling, are acutely aware of this. For the ...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published January 8th 2004 by New World Library
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Jan 15, 2010 rated it did not like it
This book isn't terrible or anything like that. I just don't think that it's worth the cover price, though potentially acceptable as a library option. Recently my fiance and I have been making our way through various marriage-life prep. books in order to appease the officiant of our wedding... and it couldn't hurt, right?

The basic format of this book is the list. Each chapter is between one and three pages long, outlining some general point that the authors are trying to apply to marriages acros
Aug 30, 2016 rated it really liked it
Okay yeah, most of these are the pithy and often banal Truths about Life and Coupledom that we've heard a million times already, but those pithy and often banal Truths are actually um true. And it's good to have a refresher course. One of the best? "Intention may not be the only thing, but it's the most important thing." And the eternal, "It's better to focus on what you can do to make things right than on what (your partner) did to make things wrong." Good things to stay mindful of in life, not ...more
Apr 08, 2010 rated it it was ok
Leave this on the coffee table the first time you have your new girlfriend over. If she gags you know you have a keeper.

My first real girlfriend after divorce got this for me as a not so subtle, READ THIS gesture. At the time it was actually kind of good. I thumbed through it again the other day and got a good laugh at the pages that were doubled over.
Douglas Lord
Aug 27, 2015 rated it really liked it
Marriage counselors and first-time authors, the Blooms nearly called their union quits in 1987; their anecdotes reflect the “acceptance, gratitude, and appreciation'” that they employed to save it. Some of these honest, candid stories (many from the authors) are more illustrative than others, but most vividly demonstrate that successful relationships require effort. One such story, “Commitment Isn’t a Prison;’ ponders the blessings of loving, supportive spouses. Another, “It’s Not What You’ve Go ...more
Aug 30, 2007 rated it really liked it
Shelves: own
I'm a sucker when it comes to self-help books on marriage. I figure even though it's not bad it doesn't hurt to get a little knowledge on how to make it better, right?

This book gave me alot of insight and different outlook on what marriage is. It's nice because the author has been married for quite some time and, to me, it almost seemed like a grandfather passing down his wisdom to his granddaughter.

It was nice to read this advice and experience from someone who's been through it all and still g
Tiffanie Luna
Feb 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book is a must read for anyone who is or desires to be in a committed relationship. It offers real raw encouragement to set every person up for success in their relationship weather they are running to the alter or have been commitment for years.
Kristie J.
Easy-to-read advice book from a couple of therapists with a 30-year marriage. I liked the straight-forward advice without too much psychobabble. My favorite chapters were #37 "Your opinion is not the truth" which cautions couples against unsolicited criticism and judgements and #41 "Guilt-tripping won't get you what you really want" which advises you to keep your attention on yourself and ask more directly for the attention you want. Toward the end, I felt like they were struggling to make it to ...more
Jan 11, 2012 rated it liked it
Interesting but not especially substantive. The book is designed to be read in short snippets, with each lesson fleshed out with a 2 or 3 page illustration and example. While some of the 101 things were new pieces of information or things I had not thought a lot about in the past, the vast majority seemed obvious -- it just didn't feel as though I was learning much. But maybe instead of criticizing the book for this fact I should just find it reassuring that I'm relatively well-prepared, accordi ...more
Pierced Librarian
Jun 24, 2014 rated it liked it
"Instead of expecting an outcome- ask yourself, "What's the experience I want to have?"

"Give up all expectations except for the ones you are willing to die for."

I found the book a bit bumperstick-y. Nothing profound, but good advice. If you would have given me this book when I was a young bride- I am not sure it would have helped. Only with time and experience are many of these lessons valuable. Some things just need to be stumbled through and learned from.
Dec 22, 2007 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: close friends and family
Shelves: already-read
This books explains both positive and negative issues on what married couples face and shows how marriage is a balancing act that depends on both couples making a move to resolve or enchance their relationship and a stronger married life. This book will not give specific tips on what a couple needs to work on because every couple is different, but it will give couples different ways on approaching the problem and working on "how" rather than "why".
Oct 22, 2007 rated it liked it
The authors write about a page per entry and most of it's your average self/relationship-help stuff: Even the best marriages have irreconcilable differences, It's possible to hate and love someone at the same time, and my favorite, Even marriages have recurring seasons, and there can be some hard winters. hahahha

I always find stuff to learn but I especially find it helpful to revisit the basics now and again since they're an ever-expanding source of wisdom.
Jan 04, 2012 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This wasn't an awful book and I am sure it can be helpful for many couples...but I didn't learn anything. Therefore, I didn't like it because I didn't get anything out of it. I wouldn't recommend buying it, as you can read the 101 things on the content page, unless you want to read the little stories that go with them.
Feb 03, 2012 rated it really liked it
You could gain deeper understanding of personalities and the life of sharing. He is tackling many religions at once talking from an anthropologist point of view.

If you are planning for successful marge, add this book to your list.
Kate Zachary
Sep 10, 2008 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Engaged couples, Married couples
Recommended to Kate by: Kate Sollmann
Buck and I read this book during the year leading up to our wedding. We read 1-2 entries a night and then talked about them. The names used were pretty cheezy, but the lessons were helpful and sparked good conversation.
Sarah Elizabeth
Mar 08, 2014 rated it liked it
Shelves: library-rentals
A few cliche adages but most of them were very spot on. I like how they put the list in the beginning of the book and allows the reader to skim to the more detailed paragraphs for each item of interest.
Crisanto J. Jorda
Jul 18, 2011 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: overthinkers, newly engaged, old people
I don't know why I bought this book. I'm not even married. I'm not even in a relationship.

That said, I'll probably gift it to my future wife when I propose to her and say "Hey, let's not )(#*% this up, okay? I love you sweetheart."

Do you think this'll work? No? Oh, okay. Neither did I.
Dec 09, 2012 rated it it was ok
This book isn't bad, but there's not too much substance. I would recommend checking it out from your library, but I wouldn't buy it. The chapter headings are perhaps the best part -- the writing isn't that profound.
Sep 19, 2013 rated it did not like it
Shelves: self-help
Ehh.. I think this one's more like 1.5 stars, but really, I did not like it, though I don't dislike it, if that makes any sense.
I don't think any of these little tips are all that enlightening, though the funniest one: "If you think marriage counselling is too expensive, try divorce"
Dec 05, 2012 rated it really liked it
I probably will refer to this book for the rest of my life. It has a lot of great lessons to strive for, and I will do my best.
Eunice Garcia
Nov 06, 2011 rated it really liked it
Easy to read! nice book
Nov 15, 2012 rated it really liked it
i got this book from the library. i decided i should buy it and have it on hand for reference.
Oct 07, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
It may seem like common sense...nut everyone needs a reminder!
Apr 13, 2010 rated it it was ok
Most of this stuff is really obvious, but it's a good reminder of the challenges I know we'll face once we're married.
Mar 10, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: reviewed
Encouraging vignettes relevant to married life; makes a fantastic bridal/groom or engagement gift.
Aug 05, 2012 rated it liked it
Very nice advise. Anyone in a relationship should at least glance through and read a section. Quick read and simply worded.
Jun 28, 2008 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: Those who need it
Recommended to Marie by: Kendra
Shelves: help
Common Sense information. Good to hear but pretty standard advice.
Nov 04, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: social-sciences
A bit cheese. A bit psychotherapy. Does the job.
Oct 25, 2009 rated it liked it
Quick, practical articles of proactive advice for marriage, though sometimes a little trite.
 PuMbA's MoMmy*•.♥.•*
good advice but got boring really fast to me
Mar 05, 2012 rated it liked it
Nothing blew me away but they were good things to keep in mind & the short stories were good examples.
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