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Bang Bang

Patrick Malloy (Goodreads Author)

3.81 · Rating details · 69 ratings · 11 reviews

Youthimax is a cure-all miracle drug from Johnson and Johnson which has all but eliminated death in modern society. Which is great news. Unless you work at a funeral home. The O'Rourke Funeral Home in West Philadelphia has fallen into obscurity, along with it's two sole employees. Max and Bligh waste the days away sleeping in coffins and counting shovels until that fateful ...more

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Paperback, 254 pages

Published November 6th 2012 by Bedlam Press

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Average rating 3.81 ·

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· 69 ratings · 11 reviews

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Feb 12, 2013 Bob/Sally rated it really liked it

What do you do when modern pharmaceuticals have all but cured death, and your entire livelihood revolves around . . . well, death? Well, if your`re a couple of guys working in a funeral home, you bide your time, listen to old Beatles tunes, and take on a side-job as serial killers. I mean, who can blame them, right?

That`s the basic concept here, and it`s just as weird and inappropriate as you might expect. Max and Bligh are an odd couple to drive a novel, but they`re right at home here. This is ...more

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Jun 30, 2013 Kris Lugosi rated it really liked it

Shelves: goodreads-giveaways, lugosi-s-reviews

Are you tired? Old? Sick and tired of being old? Are you constantly worried about your demise and final last breath? Well thanks to Johnson and Johnson, you no longer have to! Youthimax is the new drug on the market that can literally save your life..over and over and over....No more fatal accidents leaving you dead or worse disfigured and paralyzed, with Youthimax, one injection will insure your recovery to a younger better you! So what are you waiting for? Don't let death lead YOUR life!

What a Are you tired? Old? Sick and tired of being old? Are you constantly worried about your demise and final last breath? Well thanks to Johnson and Johnson, you no longer have to! Youthimax is the new drug on the market that can literally save your life..over and over and over....No more fatal accidents leaving you dead or worse disfigured and paralyzed, with Youthimax, one injection will insure your recovery to a younger better you! So what are you waiting for? Don't let death lead YOUR life!

What an amazing drug! Now if I get shot, maimed, stabbed, etc. alls I need to do is get me some Youthimax and I can return to my daily activities. What could be wrong with such a miracle drug? In Patrick Malloy's BANG BANG,...a lot. Especially for two funeral home workers who begin to see a decline in business ever since Youthimax hit the market. At first, Max and Bligh just started going through the motions; Max with his steady upkeep of a funeral home that never saw a service, and Bligh steadily keeping up his drunkenness with enough whiskey to take down an elephant. Both realized that this new drug had taken away business and what's bad for business is bad for O'Rourke Funeral Home and it's two employees...three if you count Bligh's free spirited, loud mouth, red headed train wreck of an awesome daughter, Grace, who mainly struts around the funeral home in her trashy but classy outfits being lude and young. You see Grace is of a generation that never knew death. Never had to go through or experience the grief of death first hand and as we all know the younger you are the more invincible you believe yourself to be. When there is no death there is very little to life itself when you know it can't be taken away. This is a theme that is well illustrated throughout while still maintaining that black humor that drives the plot along.

With no clients coming through the door, Max and Bligh come up with an idea to bring people to them. Working in the funeral industry, that can really only mean one thing...MURDER!!! What starts off as a plan to bring business to the funeral home unravels into a much more deeper meaning for the murders committed by Max and witnessed by his drunk oafish friend Bligh whose only real contribution is to bring the Vaseline for the silver hammer that's wielded into the heads of each random victim. Random is key, because Max does not view himself as a killer rather as the bringer of death to a generation of people who deserve it. It's a balance and Max is bent on restoring it ever since he himself lost the love of his life, Kelly. When Kelly was unable to be brought back with the drug, Max had not been able to accept her death and through out the book his constant grieving over her is apparent and haunts him. So what happens when a generation of people who have never experienced death are thrown into its midst? A myriad of strange characters from mafia mobsters like Vinny the Fist, the punked out invincible teens of Youthimax called the Hammerheads, to the Ever-Olds who would remain old forever despite the drug administered to them. No one is safe from the silver hammer.

Max and Bligh set out to bring death back to life but what they end up doing is stirring up a hunt for The Walrus and The Carpenter...yeah...nobody said it was a good name for a pair of serial killers which is what they become as the body count rises. When the F.B.I. gets involved, Max begins to slip into a savior complex and "that's the thing about having a savior complex, man. Saviors get crucified."

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I could see this being made into a dark comedy film easily. The characters alone are engaging. Their interactions with each other solidifies your love for them and keeps you cheering them on throughout their mishaps and triumphs. Grace is obnoxious and loveable and Bligh's drunk oafish demeanor adds humor to Max's dark side. I love Max's transformation from the beginning to the end. I have very little negative things to say about this book except for one....

I should preface with I myself am a funeral director and an embalmer. So this is literally me being picky and douchey if you will, but there is a scene where after they kill someone, since they didn't bash in the front of the face of the victim, just the back, that the face would be viewable and warrant an open casket; along with this bit of misinformation it is stated that Bligh was to get the guy out a few hours before the visitation in order for the body to turn back to it's "natural" unnatural skin tone from blue to natural.....granted this made me laugh hard. Just something to point out that that is not at all how to prepare a body for viewing and nine times outta ten any blunt trauma to the head will result in an unviewable face without some restorative art.

K, now that I'm off that soap box, being serious, this book was kick ass. I wasn't too sure about the ending but I'm pretty pleased with it...I think I would be more pleased if we get another book starring Max and his silver hammer. ...more

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$ally ¯\(ツ)/¯$

Jun 19, 2013 ally ¯\(ツ)/¯ rated it really liked it

Shelves: read-2013, horror-thriller

Max and Bligh do not discriminate (or plan ahead). If you’re alive you’re a target. This thinker and drinker serial killing duo are a riot!
But "Serial Killing Isn't All Fun & Games", as one of the chapters points out.

Be prepared to be humming The Beatles tune;
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down upon her head.
Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that she was dead.

I did not win this book, but without the giveaway I doubt I would have found it on my own. So for that thanks to th ...more

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Jul 24, 2013 Robbie rated it liked it

Shelves: own-e-book, humorous, 3-stars-plus, futuristic, lendable

It's hard for me to review this book. Parts of it were very funny, parts were sad and depressing and it probably holds some kind of record for number of times characters vomited. The story line was good and it moved pretty fast. I give it 3.8 stars. ...more

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Mar 16, 2014 Carolyn Keel rated it it was amazing

Shelves: first-reads-wins

I received this book through first reads giveaways.

And I SIMPLY LOVED IT!

Ha. It was so freaking funny and well-written and just awesome. It has a very "Dexter" meets "Six Feet Under" vibe to it, with just a sprinkling of the Ibis and Jaquel Funeral Home from "American Gods" thrown in. Ha.

I really, really enjoyed this book. From beginning to end. It was just... all-around good. ...more

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Jan 23, 2014 *Thea 'Wookiee'sMama' Wilson* rated it really liked it

Bang Bang in an unusual book about serial killers, unusual in the fact that it's entirely told from the perspective on the killers themselves rather than from the law enforcement and investigations point of view as you more often find it told. I found just this point to be a refreshing change and the book is a lot of fun to read because of it.

Set in future at some point there has been a huge leap forward in the fight against disease and death with the creation of Youthimax, a cure all drug, tha
Bang Bang in an unusual book about serial killers, unusual in the fact that it's entirely told from the perspective on the killers themselves rather than from the law enforcement and investigations point of view as you more often find it told. I found just this point to be a refreshing change and the book is a lot of fun to read because of it.

Set in future at some point there has been a huge leap forward in the fight against disease and death with the creation of Youthimax, a cure all drug, that cures disease, illness, injury and finally death itself. Death has been virtually eliminated and everyone remains a younger version of themselves while using Youthimax. While it may be great to live forever having no one die has raised issues in itself (such as over-population) but it is felt greatly by those in the death business. Max and Bligh work in a funeral parlour and with no one dying the business has ironically died a death itself. With no work and therefore no money Max and Bligh make the momentous decision to get themselves some business by killing someone.... from that point on nothing remains the same for Max and Bligh.

The idea behind this book is fantastic and the follow though makes for a very interesting and exciting read. I had a feeling when I read about this book that it was going to be a good but I couldn't have imagined how much I actually enjoyed this book. It's so fast-paced and exciting and never really give up it's grip on you but the most surprising thing for me was the amount of humour in it, and successful humour at that!

As the book was published by Necro/Bedlam I was expecting Bang Bang to be more graphic with the violence but this book just didn't need it. Yes, the murder scenes were described in detail but it wasn't overly gross and disgusting and the balance between the humour and the violence were just perfect foils for each other.

Is it a mind-blowingly good?
I was actually blown away by how much I enjoyed this book, it was surprising how much of a mix the book was, in parts hilariously funny, in part quite violent, sometimes ironic and sometimes so deadpan you can't help but smirk about it. It may not work for everyone but for me this book was just fantastic!

Is it interesting?
Very much so, as I said being told form the point of view of the killers is an unusual move but it works so well in this book. With the majority of crime books they are told by the investigators and not from the killers so I found the idea of reading how the killers make the decision to kill and everything after that decision is just so interesting to me..... dealing with the fall out, avoiding detection, how to dispose of the body, finding the best ways to lie to people .... all of it was just fascinating to me. It was a bold and brave move but it so works.

Is it enjoyable to read?
Indeed, It really gripped me from the beginning and it never let me go. I found myself thinking about the book when I wasn't reading it but I was able to read it pretty much straight through as while reading it I was travelling from the UK to Lanzarote to go on holiday so I was able to read it almost straight through while on the train, in the airport on the plane etc. I was held by the book and putting it down was just too hard..... so I didn't!

Is is well written?
While it may not be the most beautifully written story in the world I found it to be so good and it's proof that you don't need the flouncy beautifully written prose to have a fabulous book. This book is gritty and to the point while remaining entertaining and funny. The characters are majorly flawed but it's the flaws that make them interesting and it's these flaws that lead them down the path they take. Max and Bligh take the centre stage but there are a number of secondary characters that threaten to steal the show..... step forward O'Rourke, owner of the funeral parlour and a little gem of a character who almost upstaged the main characters every time he appeared! The characters are written in such a way that it's simple to understand them and the moves they make, they are all interesting for many ways.... Max lost his wife on their wedding day and virtually lost himself in the grief, Bligh is a roaring drunk , something he never apologises for. The are flawed but it make them the character they are, flaws are human qualities and are used to full effect in this case.

Would you recommend it?
I would, maybe it's not a book for everyone but if you read the blurb and think to yourself that is sounds like fun then you definitely should hunt the book down and read it was it really is as good as the blurb makes it sound. I was not disappointed by it in the slightest and will be looking out for more book by the author in the future. It's so worth the punt!
...more

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Aug 02, 2013 Maya rated it liked it

Shelves: kindle-owned

An okay read. Some parts were genuinely funny and clever. Others were confusing and didn't seem to flow with the storyline. When you find out about the tragic death of Max's wife, you realize that you can't blame him. Readers in the greater Philadelphia area would enjoy the book for the settings. ...more

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Apr 24, 2014 JoAnn rated it really liked it

Really enjoyed this book. Laughed out loud; stopped and thought; laughed some more.
Dystopian without the angst ridden teens who try and save the world and make it all better.

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Jan 10, 2015 AMANDA PORTER KIRBY rated it liked it · review of another edition

Different

This book was definitely different yet intriguing. How would we as a society become even more corrupt than we already are, without the fear of death?

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Apr 15, 2014 Stephanie Malich wolf rated it really liked it

Did not expect a book about murder to be so humorous!

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Apr 18, 2013 J rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Ok. The fourth star was definitely earned by the ending. Dark humor and thought provoking. I cannot imagine why I thought mental care would be anymore important in the future than now.

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About Patrick Malloy

Patrick Malloy

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Patrick Malloy is a writer, blogger, and attorney from Havertown, PA. He has amazing hair. He lives with his wonderful wife and two terrible dogs. Follow his ramblings at timespentwasted.com