Joy of Self-Pleasuring: Why Feel Guilty About Feeling Good?

by Edward L. Rowan

Psychiatrist and sex therapist Edward L. Rowan, M.D., has written this unique book to encourage us all to come out of the closet. Masturbation is surely one of the most common human activities, and yet most of us react to the subject with embarrassment. Americans are generally so uncomfortable with the topic that former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders was fired for indiscreetly suggesting in public that high school kids masturbate as a way of avoiding HIV infection.Dr. Rowan points to the Elders incident as evidence that we are still victims of a negative cultural attitude spawned by the sin and sickness models of early Church fathers and medical practitioners who did not know any better. Unfortunately, they established a pattern of shame and guilt that is difficult to overcome in spite of our current knowledge.Although masturbation is now recognized as a therapeutic tool in addressing sexual dysfunction and problematic arousal patterns, Rowan argues that it can be much more. Good orgasms, whether alone or with a partner, provide a sense of well-being and personal autonomy. Relationships are better when one does not have to depend solely on a partner to make them whole. Masturbation is also the safest form of safe sex.While masturbation is a universal behavior, there are differences in motivation, frequency, technique, and fantasy patterns between men and women. Rowan discusses these differences while emphasizing that masturbation can be good sex and should be experienced for pleasure not just as a tension release.Our attitudes are due for a change, says Dr. Rowan, and The Joy of Self-Pleasuring is designed to promote that change while offering the reader information, insight, and humor as well.

226 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2000

Reviews

[Teri Orthwein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

Incredible book on a very important, and sensitive subject, I found myself relieved and well informed. The joys of self pleasuring

[John Wocken · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book on giving many of us who grew up in homes where sex and masturbation were never discussed the permission to leave our guilt behind and enjoy the gift of self pleasure without reservation.

[Johnny Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across this book over 20 years ago when my 3 sons were in their early teens and pre-teens. The boys mother and I were divorced, and she wanted no part of this normal human practice, so I sought out resources that would help support the talks I had with each of them.

The boys each had their own bedrooms at my house and I placed a copy of this book in my oldest son's room when he was about 15 (when I discovered the book) and then in my younger son's rooms when they were about 12-13 years old when they came to visit me in the summers for 8 weeks.

I didn't think much of it for years, but recently my oldest, who is now 37, and has a 12 year old of his own, asked me if I remembered this book. I was pleased to hear how much it meant to him as a teen and how he was trying to see if he could find it still.

While its long since out of print, I consider it still to be an excellent book for teens

[Galatea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Is it ethical to bust a nut?

Yes.

[Allen Petty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful and common sense approach to an issue that many of us struggled with for years. What a relief to be free of the guilt that I experienced for decades!