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Back Off!
Book by Catherine Mattice, E.G. Sebastian CPC
- GenresBusiness
250 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2012
About the author
Catherine Mattice
9 books7 followersCatherine Mattice, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, is the founder/CEO of Civility Partners, an organizational development firm focused on helping organizations create respectful workplace cultures and specializing in turning around toxic cultures. Civility Partners’ clients range from Fortune 500's to small businesses across many industries. Catherine is a TEDx speaker and an HR thought-leader who has appeared in such venues as USA Today, Bloomberg, CNN, NPR, and many other national news outlets as an expert. She’s an award-winning speaker, author and blogger, and has 50+ courses reaching global audiences on LinkedIn Learning.
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
March 16, 2013
The cover of the book promises easy to understand steps that can be take to end workplace bullying and inside are assessments, questionnaires, checklists and other practical tools that anyone can use to evaluate and then act to reduce the stress of their situation. Bullying is clearly defined as an ongoing phenomenon, not a one-time occurrence. Everyone has bad days at work, and an occasionally fit of yelling or rude behavior is not the same as ongoing behavior that seeks to diminish another person. According to studies quoted in the book, one-quarter to one-half of employees experience workplace bullying at some point in their careers and many are forced to quit and seek new jobs because of it.
The book doesn’t take the “I’m just a victim” mentality that so many bullying treatises do. Without blaming the “victim,” it acknowledges that there are things that a target can do to reduce the abuse they suffer and changes in behavior that can change the environment.
“Employees are often hired for technical skills, but fired for lacking communication skills,” is one of the many truisms the book imparts. Being a great doctor or engineer does not necessarily mean one is great at handling people. Some people think the only way to get others to do what they want is through intimidation and coercion. Bullying is not always top-down, but can exist from a lower-ranking employee to his or her boss, or among peers on the same level.
The costs of such bad conduct are huge, to the individual who is the target and the organization that employs them. If someone doesn’t want to come to work, sick days go up. And the person may not be feigning illness—enduring bullying can lead to actual physical maladies such as headaches, stomachaches, insomnia and other stress-induced problems. As the rash of recent teen suicides have demonstrating, in severe cases, bullying can lead to suicide and adults are not immune from this most drastic response to the problem.
The roles one adopts in high school of bully or target often continue into adulthood and into the workplace. The advice in the book aims to break the cycle and teach people to stand up for themselves in a non-confrontational way so that they will not be an easy target. Mattice and Sebastian even cover important topics such as body language, posture, and tone that can help curtail bullying and make the victim less of a target.
The book also addresses the very important, but often overlooked roles of “bully’s assistant” or “bystander.” It has long been said that those who are not part of the solution are part of the problem. Many people are afraid to say anything when they see a co-worker being abused for fear they will be the next target, but the fallacy of this is that if others would call out the bully on the inappropriate conduct, it would end it. Saying nothing provides tacit approval, so the bully takes the silence as reinforcement.
While offering solid advice, “Back Off!” doesn’t give “one size fits all” solutions, knowing that there can be many factors operating in a complicated work environment and that taking the problem to HR or to a higher up could make some situations worse rather than better. As much as one would like to not give up, sometimes for the sake of an individual’s mental or physical health, the only answer may be to quit. But the book also points out examples in which people were able to successfully change their environment, of bullies, who when confronted about the conduct said, “Do I really do that? Do I make you feel that way? I’m sorry.” Often it is worth to make an effort to try to fix the problem and “Back Off!” provides some easy-to-follow steps to give it a try.
The book doesn’t take the “I’m just a victim” mentality that so many bullying treatises do. Without blaming the “victim,” it acknowledges that there are things that a target can do to reduce the abuse they suffer and changes in behavior that can change the environment.
“Employees are often hired for technical skills, but fired for lacking communication skills,” is one of the many truisms the book imparts. Being a great doctor or engineer does not necessarily mean one is great at handling people. Some people think the only way to get others to do what they want is through intimidation and coercion. Bullying is not always top-down, but can exist from a lower-ranking employee to his or her boss, or among peers on the same level.
The costs of such bad conduct are huge, to the individual who is the target and the organization that employs them. If someone doesn’t want to come to work, sick days go up. And the person may not be feigning illness—enduring bullying can lead to actual physical maladies such as headaches, stomachaches, insomnia and other stress-induced problems. As the rash of recent teen suicides have demonstrating, in severe cases, bullying can lead to suicide and adults are not immune from this most drastic response to the problem.
The roles one adopts in high school of bully or target often continue into adulthood and into the workplace. The advice in the book aims to break the cycle and teach people to stand up for themselves in a non-confrontational way so that they will not be an easy target. Mattice and Sebastian even cover important topics such as body language, posture, and tone that can help curtail bullying and make the victim less of a target.
The book also addresses the very important, but often overlooked roles of “bully’s assistant” or “bystander.” It has long been said that those who are not part of the solution are part of the problem. Many people are afraid to say anything when they see a co-worker being abused for fear they will be the next target, but the fallacy of this is that if others would call out the bully on the inappropriate conduct, it would end it. Saying nothing provides tacit approval, so the bully takes the silence as reinforcement.
While offering solid advice, “Back Off!” doesn’t give “one size fits all” solutions, knowing that there can be many factors operating in a complicated work environment and that taking the problem to HR or to a higher up could make some situations worse rather than better. As much as one would like to not give up, sometimes for the sake of an individual’s mental or physical health, the only answer may be to quit. But the book also points out examples in which people were able to successfully change their environment, of bullies, who when confronted about the conduct said, “Do I really do that? Do I make you feel that way? I’m sorry.” Often it is worth to make an effort to try to fix the problem and “Back Off!” provides some easy-to-follow steps to give it a try.
Displaying 1 of 1 review