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More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

(Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops #2)

3.78  ·  Rating details ·  6,337 ratings  ·  1,148 reviews
Customer (holding up a book): What’s this? The Secret Garden? Well, it’s not so secret now, is it, since they bloody well wrote a book about it!

Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops was a Sunday Times bestseller, and could be found displayed on bookshop counters up and down the country. The response to the book from booksellers all over the world has been one of heartfel
Hardcover, 122 pages
Published April 18th 2013 by Constable and Robinson (first published January 1st 2013)
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Booksinverse Honestly, anyone can read this. It witty, funny, and is written in the forms of conversations. So I think anyone from the age of 13 and above can unde…moreHonestly, anyone can read this. It witty, funny, and is written in the forms of conversations. So I think anyone from the age of 13 and above can understand and enjoy it. I, a 20 year old, totally LOVED it.(less)

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Update 6. This is the nastiest 'customer' ever. Since we reopened in Oct. after Irma/Maria until mid-December I was giving away books. I thought it can't all be about money and with no electricity and a curfew, there is nothing to do. This lady, a rasta, I know, who used to read books on algorithms at bedtime (that's not all she did in bed, she has 11 children with her husband) came in and asked about the free books. She probably doesn't have much money for things like books, so I said help your ...more
Apr 29, 2013 rated it it was amazing

what's this??

 photo DSC00270_zps1e7ccd03.jpg

the last souvenir from my bookstore days!

 photo DSC00268_zps2aaffbde.jpg

i mean, they cleaned it up a little; i am not one who says "sir," and i don't have the pub dates of books in my head at the ready like that, but still! it's like fame, only smaller!
Okay, that's all of my tiny books completed!!
Now onto the actual full sized books haha
May 25, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: e-book, funny, english, pb
When I finished the first book, I had to start with this one. I'm not going to say which book is better because it's hard to compare. In this one Twilight has a company, the Fifty Shades. I'm still so angry about people who are damaging books and so...
For some reason, I think this book was sadder. Sometimes I had a strange feeling in my heart. Like I was really sorry for something those people said.
Again, I recommend to everyone to read this! :)
☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~  ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣
Q: Not to mention the, quite frankly, amazingly awesome things children say – such as the boy who told me that, when he’s older, he’s going to become a book ninja. I have no idea what a book ninja is, but I want to hire that kid.(c)
Q: I have a particular fondness for the person who asked if Anne Frank had written a sequel to her diary. The man laughed and said: ‘You should have told her that she ghostwrote it!’ I think I might love that customer. (c)
CUSTOMER: I can see you’ve got books on Wor
Sean Barrs
Jun 20, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 4-star-reads
I really couldn’t wait very long after finishing the first one before diving into this. These books are so damn funny. This time’s there’s great examples from other book sellers too.

Here are my personal favourites in this one:

"CUSTOMER (buying a copy of Gulliver’s Travels): I’m thinking of going travelling, so I thought I’d give this a read to give me ideas of places to go. He seems to have gone to some really crazy parts of the world!"

(Could you imagine hearing this? I would have wet myse
Jan 25, 2020 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: reviewed
Deducting a star because it's a lot like the first one and by that I mean about a quarter are repeated from the first one. Like the first one this has many funnies (some of the same!), some not-funnies and a lot of headscratchers.
If a job past or present brought you in regular contact with people who ask stupid questions and behave rudely, I imagine this could be validating. Personally, I had a stint working with The Public that was enough to last me a lifetime or nine. I had to work very, very
May 12, 2013 rated it really liked it
So after the hilarious Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, bookseller Campbell has collected even more weirdness. And although this follow up is not nearly as hilarious as the first book - a few 'jokes' seem a bit far-fetched - there's still more than enough to snort-laugh about.

So here we go, shall we!

Customer: We're having a book burning at our religious group tonight. I need all your books on witchcraft.
Bookseller: .....
Customer: And we're expecting a discount. We're doing the world a fa
Jun 09, 2018 rated it did not like it
Shelves: 2018-reads, e-books
I rarely give 1 star ratings because I know authors put a lot of work to produce a book, I didn't feel that much effort was put into this! And the illustrations were so meh...

I mean it was just random things customers say in bookshops, and some things were not weird, I found most not funny at all. I think it was more like Weird things drunk customers say. I even felt there were some things that were said as a part of truth or dare. I used to play this with my colleagues in the hospital and we wo
Jan 01, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: humor-funny
Like the first book, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, it was a quick and entertaining read.

The story in the prologue about a children book getting back to its original owner after forty years is really heartwarming.

Conversations with kids are cute and funny, and the rest also made me laugh many times.
The things customers say in bookshops are not only weird, but insulting, sometimes ridiculously dumb…
CUSTOMER: You know, I go to this book club thing, but I really hate reading.
Masoud Irannejad
مجموعه ای از مکالمات طنز و گاها روزمره ای که کتاب فروش ها با خریدارهاشون دارند

CUSTOMER: They should make vending machines for books. Then there’d be no more need for bookshops, and you could have a really long holiday. That’d be nice, wouldn’t it?
گاج خیلی ساله بیرون فروشگاه شعبه خیابان انقلاب وندینگ ماشین گذاشته :)))

CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of The Handmaid’s Tale?
BOOKSELLER: I’m afraid we sold our copy of that this morning. I can order it in for you, though.
CUSTOMER: Can’t you just print a c
Louise Wilson
Aug 31, 2017 rated it really liked it
In this follow up book to Weird Things People Say In Bookshops we get the same type of comments that are plain stupid, jaw dropping and funny.

I enjoyed reading this book as muck as I did the first one. It's another quick read with some illustrations. It's hard to believe that people can be this stupid.
Oct 16, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
CUSTOMER (picking up a copy of Little Women): is this a book about really short people?

CUSTOMER (holding up a book): What's this? The secret garden? Well, it's not so secret now, is it, since they bloody well wrote a book about it!

(Customer holds up Fifty Shades of Grey and shows her boyfriend)
CUSTOMER: Babe! It's the book I was telling you about! My sister reckons it's exactly us!

Once more the author managed to make me laugh out loud more than once with this series of funny, bizarre, ridiculous
Feb 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: humour
A remarkably easy to read collection of Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops as recorded by Jen Campbell and other booksellers.

Being a regular customer of bookshops I can easily imagine real life people saying these weird things.

I do know some people who can read but choose not to read books. And these non readers have been recorded most accurately.

I laughed at every page and when you read this collection I'm sure you will laugh too.
Occupation: Bookseller

What You Think You Do: Sell books

What People Think You Do:

- Book-whisperer
CUSTOMER: Hello! I’m searching for a book. I’m not sure of the publishing house, but it’s really great and I just have to read it again.
BOOKSELLER: Sure. What was the title of the book?
CUSTOMER: Well, the thing is, I don’t really remember …
BOOKSELLER: OK, then how about the author? Maybe we can search for their work and find the one you’re looking for?
CUSTOMER: I don’t know his name.
Umut Rados
Jun 28, 2019 rated it really liked it
It was fun to read these anecdotes. I had fun, but first one was definitely better :)
Nov 12, 2018 rated it liked it
First read: Two stars

Second read: Three stars

Still more unconvincing and less funny than the first part, but I sort of liked it more this time around. A couple of entries were really hilarious -- or shall I say, saddening. Not much of a difference in this one, though.
Feb 09, 2015 rated it liked it
"CUSTOMER: I’d like to buy this audiobook.


CUSTOMER: Only, I don’t really like this narrator.


CUSTOMER: Do you have a selection of narrator to choose from? Ideally, I’d like Benedict Cumberbatch”

I found some hilarious. Some are not though. Are some of these made up? Haha. People are weird.

This is my favorite. :DD

"CUSTOMER: Can you help me find a book, please?

BOOKSELLER: Sure, what are you in the mood for?

CUSTOMER: (leaning in very closely) I'm feeling very vulnera
Aug 20, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction, 2020
(Elderly female customer is looking at the chart)
CUSTOMER: I can’t believe everybody’s reading this Fifty Shades …
BOOKSELLER: I know. I take it it isn’t your cup of tea, then?
CUSTOMER: Oh, no dear; been there, done that – no need to read about it!

This is a truly delightful book that is bound to elicit a good few guffaws as the reader marvels at the combination of mindless stupidity, breathless arrogance and unintentional crassness on display here. Seems like it takes a visit to a bookshop to bri
Sad Sunday (If I say it's bad, it's bad)
To: Orient, Caro M.
From: YouKnowWho
Subject: You were right and have the right to say "I said so"

So, as the Subject says, you were right. When you said I just had to try a different genre, I was quite skeptical. What is better than a awesome sword and sorcery fantasy book on a cold evening of autumn while you are snuggled in your warm bed? (I know, Geralt of Rivia in your bed would be better, but anyway...).
I tried a different genre and I liked it! Really, "More Weird Things Customers Say in Bo
Mar 03, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2015-reads
a pure joy, as to be expected. :)
Apr 23, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2016, funny-shit
Well, some days I do feel like this too.
CUSTOMER: I really don’t like the planet today – can you recommend a book set far, far away?

Now we're talking bestsellers!
CUSTOMER (eagerly): I really liked Fifty Shades of Grey. (Pause) Do you have an illustrated version?

Even Goodreads Karen had a spot in it!
(Phone rings)
CUSTOMER: Hello. I’m looking for a first edition of The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway.
BOOKSELLER: I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t stock secondhand or rare books.
Jul 04, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
I really don't know what to say about all the stupid people recorded in this book, except that they made me laugh, and a A LOT. Because one thing is having a kid saying things like this:
- When I grow up, I’m going to be a book ninja.
- Mummy … have we gone back in time?! (upon entering a really old, antique bookstore)
- Suggesting the bookseller to protect the books in her basement with a trained dragon.

That's perfectly acceptable. Children are hilarious, and have the best, widest imagination.

Coreen ❇
Mar 23, 2017 rated it liked it
"BOY (reading titles of books on the shelf): My Family and Other Animals? Ha. Yes. I think my sister looks like a ferret.
HIS SISTER (shouting from the other side of the shop): I heard that! And you look like a diseased baboon!

I think this book was even better than the first one, though I've been hearing others say otherwise. The sequel to the Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores just got even funnier. The quote at the top was my favorite it had me laughing out loud for seconds, a
Feb 07, 2018 rated it really liked it
CUSTOMER: Do you have Windows 7 for Dummies?
BOOKSELLER: Sorry, we're and antiquarian bookshop; nearly everything here predates computers.
CUSTOMER: Oh. Do you have any user guides for antiquarian computers? You know from, like, the olden days, when they had swords and stuff?

This little book was hysterical. I've always wanted to work in a bookshop or a library, because of, you know.. the books. But now? I want to work in a bookshop/ library so I can witness stuff like this!

Jan 04, 2013 rated it really liked it
This second book of strange but true things people say in bookshops is just as hilarious as the first.
The author has included many more submissions from booksellers and librarians from around the world. Our very own Goodreader, Karen Brissette, submitted an entry which also appears in this edition.

This copy is from the U.K, so all of you goodreaders in the U.S. and Canada will have to wait a little while longer before this edition is released in North America. It really is very funny and worth t
Mar 30, 2017 rated it really liked it
This one is not as hilarious as the first one, but overall, I enjoy every second of it :D
MAN (looking at a giant map in the bookstore): When did they move New Zealand way down by Australia? Wasn’t it in Europe before?

3.5 stars rounded up to 4.

Lol. How could I not include this quote. This was still so funny. Not quite as amazing as the first but still so worth the read and I can't get over how people in this world can be. But luckily for me, these comments were recorded and published to make others laugh. I hope there will be more of these! I'm definitely going to l
Sep 12, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Like so many of these books (witty observations of the world, and customers around us) as long as you trade there will be the potential for more material to come walking through your door way. And this really is the premise behind this book - however now the author and editor have expanded the remit to include libraries and other book emporiums. The result is proof that there is no monopoly on the strange and wonderful requests of customers.

To be honest it is really a continuation from the firs
Feb 16, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2020
This compilation was really fun to read. People are so weird :D
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​Jen Campbell is a bestselling author and award-winning poet. Her short story collection The Beginning of the World in the Middle of the Night is published by Two Roads, her children's picture books, Franklin's Flying Bookshop, Franklin and Luna go to the Moon, and Franklin and Luna and the Book of Fairy Tales are published by Thames & Hudson. Her poetry collection The Girl Aquarium is published b ...more

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Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops (2 books)
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“CUSTOMER: I’d like to buy this audiobook.
CUSTOMER: Only, I don’t really like this narrator.
CUSTOMER: Do you have a selection of narrators to choose from? Ideally, I’d like Benedict Cumberbatch”
“CHILD: Mummy, who was Hitler? MOTHER: Hitler? CHILD: Yeah. Who was he? MOTHER: Erm, he was a very bad man from a long time ago. CHILD: Oh. How bad? MOTHER: He was like ... he was like Voldemort. CHILD: Oh! That’s really, really bad. Mother: Yes. CHILD: (Pause) So, did Harry Potter kill Hitler, too?” 34 likes
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