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236 pages, ebook
First published December 24, 2012
Like Maybe this entire relationship thing was a mistake. He was tired of trying to live up to Nick's memory. Tired of being second best. F@cking Saint Nick. He knew he wasn't completely fair to Sam, either, but it was easier to be angry with Sam than with himself.
I wonder what you'd think of me, Nick.
Aiden knew Nick had never lived in this apartment, and yet he could feel the man's presence here as surely as if he had. It wasn't only the paintings or the photographs of Nick and Sam that stood next to those of Sam's family. He could sense Nick's presence in Sam, and it frightened him. Or perhaps it wasn't Nick's presence, but his absence Aiden felt in Sam. Nick was there in the photographs and the paintings, and yet Sam had barely mentioned Nick since he'd told Aiden about him months ago.
I'm tired and I'm jet-lagged. I need to relax and stop worrying. It's going to be fine.
You could have talked to Aiden. He'd have listened.
Call him. Stop acting like a stupid kid and call him!
S'only your fault it takes you forever to accept that things change, he could almost hear Nick say. Almost. The voice was fainter now, but it was still there.
You're right, Nicky. It's only my fault.
He pulled the backpack off his shoulder and sat down on a bench. He unzipped it and pulled out the battered cookie tin. The lettering, Macadamia Chocolate Chip, had faded, and the paint was scratched off in spots. He'd almost forgotten where he'd put it when he'd moved to Philly. Almost. He put the tin on his lap and ran his fingers over the surface. He didn't fight the tears but closed his eyes and let them spill over his cheeks. He tasted the salt on his lips and held the tin tighter in his hands.