Vertrouwen

First of all we find out the details of the mysterious “Jenna Thing”, a shadowy accident that the previous book skirted around for some time. It turns out to be kinda stupid, but at least it’s

First of all we find out the details of the mysterious “Jenna Thing”, a shadowy accident that the previous book skirted around for some time. It turns out to be kinda stupid, but at least it’s out of the way. Sadly the secret of Jenna’s brother Toby’s blackmail-worthy disgusting action is still undisclosed. It had better be good to be worth the wait, and not the totally obvious thing I think it is.

Then on to the main body of the story. Hanna’s self-loathing manifests itself in TV-friendly dramatic ways like hallucinations of skin disease and ugly braces when she glances into the mirror. Nobody notices this. Instead her parents oblige her to work at a burns clinic owned by the father of the boy whose car she crashed whilst drink-driving, as some form of restitution. Other people have their community service and compensation arranged by the courts and put on record, but the rich handle their own legal affair. Meanwhile Emily continues to tiresomely deny her lesbianism, despite the continual efforts of the girl she is in love with, who pops up regularly at various locations to attempt sexual relations and/or invite her to parties. At no point does she consider the feelings of this girl as she veers between interest and running away without explanation. Aria’s father turns out to still be having the affair with his student which he broke off 3½ years ago to move to Iceland. Although since every single character’s life seems to have been on hold since Alison’s death, waiting for this book series to begin, I suppose it’s not too surprising his girlfriend hasn’t moved on. And Spencer’s parents continue to facilitate their daughters’ sibling rivalry by behaving like a pair of babies, taking sides and ignoring Spencer during and after the funeral of her best friend. Whilst all this is happening we are obliged to hear all four girls’ directionless worryings about the mystery blackmailer, each which is identical to the last.

Luckily Hanna is working at the least secure hospital ever, and therefore gets the opportunity to steal unguarded and valuable medication roughly 5 minutes after she arrives. Does this come back later to bite her? Yes, indeed it does. Meanwhile Aria and her brother panic childishly about the idea that their parents might get a divorce and inconvenience them, Spencer’s pathetically petty parents drive her into the arms of creepy Wren and his “sexy British accent” (not sure which British accent this is, but since he went to Oxford I’m going to guess at “constipated posh”) and she has sex with him to a soundtrack of children’s cartoons, Emily fails to quit her swimming team, which is obviously enthralling, and Shepard continues to misuse the term “ironic” and its derivatives. Everyone suddenly seems to spend a lot of time fainting and having panic attacks, and Toby is everywhere in a potentially creepy but actually dull way, impressing Emily with his deep conversation about how the people at school who seem flawless (Like the book title! Such interconnections!) probably have problems too.

As nothing much continues to happen it becomes increasingly difficult to tell the difference between the various girls and the various boys they get involved with, particularly since 50%-75% of the main characters are dating one person as a screen whilst being more interested in another. Nothing much happens other than Spencer’s academic ability being driven out of her head by her contact with a male. Although since she had “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas as her ringtone in order to be ironic, she was probably never as clever as she thought she was. Hanna is blackmailed into vaguely embarrassing herself in front of some girls she hardly knows by the mysterious A, even though not one of A’s threats so far has come to anything. Aria drunkenly threatens the girl her father is shagging, rather than speaking to her father or mother about the matter. Everyone continues to be surprised that the discovery of a teenage girl’s body buried in her own garden is being investigated as murder. Most appallingly of all, all the characters feel the need to mention “Foxy” up to 3 times per page, every page. This cutesy moniker actually refers to a charity ball in aid of the Rosewood Foxhunting League, which no one seems to have a moral objection to. In fact, “It’s so big, some girls get plastic surgery for it.” This lack of dissent from the entire community, including the local media, seems odd given that the local yoga studio is surrounded by cars covered in “MEAT IS MURDER” and “PETA” stickers.



Most Specific Theme for a Hotel Bedroom
1776. Not the Eighteenth Century, or the Georgian Era or the Romantic Era. Specifically 1776. Which means a “crazy quilt” (patchwork, presumably?) and a butter churn. Both things which came into existence after January 1st 1776 and were obsolete by December 31st of the same year. Obviously.

Stupidest Names
Taryn Orr (female)
Lanie Iler (female)
Seth Cardiff
Riley Wolfe (female)
Adriana Peoples
Thayer Anderson (male)
Ori Case (male)

Most Charming Assessment of Local Society

"Downtown’s full of dirty hippies"

“EAT OUR BUBBLES”

"FLY GIRLS: SLIPPERY WHEN WET"

“Rain was her favorite kind of weather. It reminded her of rainy days”

“Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and The Tao of Pooh”


Worst Compliment

“When he cut [his hair] last spring, Hanna said it made him look a little like Justin Timberlake, only less skanky.”

Least Intelligent Response to Being Helped Whilst Unconscious

“Toby picked her up? Like, in his arms?"

Well, I’m guessing he didn’t carry you in his mouth like a dog. I know you think he’s a weirdo, but try to make sense.

Most Pathetic Example of an Enigma

“[it had] just become one of those life mysteries they’d never understand, like why Brad and Jen really got divorced.”

Leaving aside how vacuous and unimportant this subject is, it’s not even mysterious. I’m not an expert on these matters, but I’m fairly sure it’s common knowledge that they got divorced because he was shagging Angelina Jolie. So this reference doesn’t even make any sense. If you can’t do any better than this in your efforts to force entertainment news stories into the narrative Ms.Shepard, then I think it would be better for us both if you stopped trying.

Weirdest Character Summary

“her interests were quirky things like snow globes, tai chi, and magnets”

How exactly is “magnets” an interest?

Most Depressing Musical Reference

“…a white T-shirt with a drawing of a banana on it. It was the cover to some old album, Aria just couldn’t remember what.”

Most Reductive Summary of a Philosophical and Artistic Concept

“It was surreal to see them again. And not the cool, Zac-Posen-kaleidoscopic-dress sort of surreal”

I must admit that I have no idea what a Zac Posen kaleidoscopic dress is. But I know what it’s not. It’s not surreal. There again, to be fair, meeting your stepmother and stepsister who you haven’t seen for a little while, as in the context of this remark, is nowhere near surreal either. To be honest, I’m not sure why Surrealism was even brought up.

Most Disturbing Concept

“Kate probably thought they shared some sort of cute-girl bond.”

No idea what a “cute-girl bond” is. Although in fairness there is no reason that I would.


Throughout it all everyone has a massive sense of entitlement, constantly descending into sulks and histrionics for such reasons as “I touched that boy once, you can’t have him”, “That’s my dad, no one else is allowed to marry him” and “I own that dress, you can’t buy one in a different colour”. This is coupled with a plethora of “problems” that really shouldn’t be dignified with a moment’s thought, a such as “I fancy this gorgeous boy and he fancies me, but will he be put off by my almost insurmountable family baggage, which amounts to my dad quietly having an affair?”. Am I really supposed to feel concern?

The book concludes with many chapters of the girls separately deciding that Toby is both the blackmailer and the murder, for the reason that they are all stupid. He isn’t, then he kills himself. His mystery blackmailable offence is then revealed, and indeed turns out to be exactly what I thought it was. Meanwhile no one learns anything about ‘A’ whatsoever, leaving us back where we started in time for book three.