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The Beginner's Goodbye
Pulitzer Prize–winning author Anne Tyler gives us a wise, haunting, and deeply moving new novel about loss and recovery, pierced throughout with her humor, wisdom, and always penetrating look at human foibles.
Crippled in his right arm and leg, Aaron grew up fending off a sister who constantly wanted to manage him. So when he meets Dorothy, an outspoken, independent young woman, she’s like a breath of fresh air. He marries her without hesitation, and they have a relatively happy, unremarkable marriage. Aaron works at his family’s vanity-publishing business, turning out titles that presume to guide beginners through the trials of life. But when a tree crashes into their house and Dorothy is killed, Aaron feels as though he has been erased forever. Only Dorothy’s unexpected appearances from the dead—in their house, on the roadway, in the market—help him to live in the moment and to find some peace. Gradually, Aaron discovers that maybe for this beginner there is indeed a way to say goodbye.
“Like a modern Jane Austen, Tyler creates small worlds [depicting] the intimate bonds of friendship and family.”—USA Today
“An absolute charmer of a novel . . . With sparkling prose . . . [Anne] Tyler gets at the beating heart of what it means to lose someone, to say goodbye.”—The Boston Globe
“Classic Tyler . . . The wonder of Anne Tyler is how consistently clear-eyed and truthful she remains about the nature of families and especially marriage.”—Los Angeles Times
“Beautifully intricate . . . By the exquisitely romantic emotional climax [an] ordinary life has bloomed into an opera.”—Entertainment Weekly
Don’t miss the conversation between Anne Tyler and Robb Forman Dew at the back of the book.
Crippled in his right arm and leg, Aaron grew up fending off a sister who constantly wanted to manage him. So when he meets Dorothy, an outspoken, independent young woman, she’s like a breath of fresh air. He marries her without hesitation, and they have a relatively happy, unremarkable marriage. Aaron works at his family’s vanity-publishing business, turning out titles that presume to guide beginners through the trials of life. But when a tree crashes into their house and Dorothy is killed, Aaron feels as though he has been erased forever. Only Dorothy’s unexpected appearances from the dead—in their house, on the roadway, in the market—help him to live in the moment and to find some peace. Gradually, Aaron discovers that maybe for this beginner there is indeed a way to say goodbye.
“Like a modern Jane Austen, Tyler creates small worlds [depicting] the intimate bonds of friendship and family.”—USA Today
“An absolute charmer of a novel . . . With sparkling prose . . . [Anne] Tyler gets at the beating heart of what it means to lose someone, to say goodbye.”—The Boston Globe
“Classic Tyler . . . The wonder of Anne Tyler is how consistently clear-eyed and truthful she remains about the nature of families and especially marriage.”—Los Angeles Times
“Beautifully intricate . . . By the exquisitely romantic emotional climax [an] ordinary life has bloomed into an opera.”—Entertainment Weekly
Don’t miss the conversation between Anne Tyler and Robb Forman Dew at the back of the book.
208 pages, Paperback
First published April 3, 2012
About the author
Anne Tyler
91 books6,930 followersAnne Tyler was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in 1941 and grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. She graduated at nineteen from Duke University and went on to do graduate work in Russian studies at Columbia University. She has published 20 novels, her debut novel being
If Morning Ever Comes
in (1964). Her eleventh novel,
Breathing Lessons
, was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1988. She is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters.
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April 12, 2012
Some fans complain this book is too short. So read it twice. Actually, that's not a facetious comment. The second time through, slow down. You needn't be at all concerned about what happens next. Marvel at Anne Tyler's spare style. And ask yourself why it's not the same as other authors who limit themselves to twenty-word sentences, no more than two clauses per. It should be plain-vanilla tenth-grade stuff. It should be boring and insipid. But there's something else going on here. Something gets said between the lines. It could baffle you trying to figure it out. I think it's all about logic and thought flow. Your brain has to supply what's skipped over. She trains you not only to read, but also to think and to feel. This main character is a jerk, easier to sympathize with because he has a disability. But he's using the disability as an excuse not to relate to people. "Don't give me any help" is his self-fulfilling proclamation. He justifies himself to himself, as we all do, even when he knows he's behaving selfishly.
I do believe that Anne Tyler and John Le Carre are two of the grander literary talents of the twentieth century. If you appreciate literary style for its own sake, you could pick no better mother and father.
I do believe that Anne Tyler and John Le Carre are two of the grander literary talents of the twentieth century. If you appreciate literary style for its own sake, you could pick no better mother and father.
April 6, 2022
HEAVEN CAN WAIT
Warren Beatty è morto, ma si rifiuta di salire sul volo per il paradiso, la destinazione finale.
Sì, il paradiso può attendere.
Dorothy muore nel modo più assurdo immaginabile: seduta in veranda a guardare la tv, crolla la vecchia quercia, sfonda il tetto, viene giù il televisore fissato a parete, è un Sony Trinitron (chi non l’ha avuto non può immaginare quanto pesasse), le sfonda il torace. Muore dopo giorni di terapia intensiva: dopo giorni tra la vita e la morte, alla fine vince la morte.
Ma non è stata lei a sceglierglielo. E forse è per questo che non se ne vuole andare.
Il san Pietro della situazione, tale Mr Jordan, perfettamente interpretato da James Mason - Humbert Humbert nella “Lolita” di Kubrick - capisce che si tratta di un errore del messaggero Buck Henry – attore e sceneggiatore, per esempio de “Il laureato”, “Comma 22”, “Da morire” etc – e concede un’altra chance, alias una seconda vita, al nostro splendido Warren.
O forse non se ne va perché è lui, suo marito Aaron, l’io narrante, che non vuole lasciarla andare, che non riesce ad abituarsi d’averla persa e d’essere rimasto solo. Mesi dopo la sua morte, descrive così il suo stato:
In un certo senso è come se il dolore fosse stato coperto da una specie di plaid. È ancora lì, ma gli angoli vivi sono… smussati, per così dire. Poi ogni tanto sollevo un angolo del plaid, solo per controllare, e zac! Come un coltello! Non sono sicuro che cambierà mai.
Così, succede che, all’improvviso, dopo un tempo di lutto di diversi mesi, Aaron rivede Dorothy sul marciapiede davanti alla loro casa (che lui ha tardato a far ricostruire dopo il crollo). Si salutano.
E, da quel momento lei ritorna: lo affianca senza preavviso, gli cammina accanto, si parlano, anche se probabilmente nessuno dei due emette un suono.
E in queste brevi conversazioni Aaron non balbetta, come invece gli succede ogni tanto in quelle ‘normali’, in quelle ad alta voce.
Guida rapida agli addii modifica in meglio, almeno per una volta, il titolo originale, il più banale The Beginner’s Goodbye, e deriva dal mestiere del protagonista, l’io narrante Aaron, che manda avanti con la sorella la casa editrice di famiglia, specializzata in pubblicazioni a pagamento, ma che col tempo si è inventata la linea delle “guide rapide” più o meno per qualsiasi cosa. Volutamente superficiali, non approfondite, nate soprattutto come strenna.
Aaron impara a vedere Dorothy accanto a sé dopo mesi che è morta, impara a convivere con quella presenza che qualcuno potrebbe definire fantasma.
Poi, impara a farne a meno. Se ne libera, per così dire.
Succede quando scatta l’ingranaggio, anche senza nessun clic: ma quando il rumore delle cose che esistono torna a pulsare nelle sue orecchie e nel suo cuore, Aaron, senza neppure accorgersene, impara ad andare avanti.
Come nel film Ghost, dove era lei, Demi Moore, la sopravvissuta, e lui, Patrick Swayze, il defunto. Ruolo invertiti.
Ruoli invertiti anche nel magnifico struggente film diretto e interpretato da Warren Beatty con Julie Christie che cito nel titolo del mio commento.
Morti, ma senza esagerare, direbbe Fabio Bartolomei, citando uno dei suoi ultimi romanzi.
Ritrovo Anne Tyler dopo una dozzina d’anni (quattrodici, per l’esattezza) che ho smesso di frequentarla e la trovo sorprendentemente insolita: uno dei personaggi principali è un fantasma! Davvero non me l’aspettavo. Mi ha abituato a storie e scrittura pragmatiche, concrete, realistiche (per quanto la realtà sia imperfetta e butterata). E, sì, anche ordinarie, quotidiane. E la ritrovo che mi racconta la storia di un fantasma!
Ma comunque, anche questa volta mi ha raccontato la vita.
Warren Beatty è morto, ma si rifiuta di salire sul volo per il paradiso, la destinazione finale.
Sì, il paradiso può attendere.
Dorothy muore nel modo più assurdo immaginabile: seduta in veranda a guardare la tv, crolla la vecchia quercia, sfonda il tetto, viene giù il televisore fissato a parete, è un Sony Trinitron (chi non l’ha avuto non può immaginare quanto pesasse), le sfonda il torace. Muore dopo giorni di terapia intensiva: dopo giorni tra la vita e la morte, alla fine vince la morte.
Ma non è stata lei a sceglierglielo. E forse è per questo che non se ne vuole andare.
Il san Pietro della situazione, tale Mr Jordan, perfettamente interpretato da James Mason - Humbert Humbert nella “Lolita” di Kubrick - capisce che si tratta di un errore del messaggero Buck Henry – attore e sceneggiatore, per esempio de “Il laureato”, “Comma 22”, “Da morire” etc – e concede un’altra chance, alias una seconda vita, al nostro splendido Warren.
O forse non se ne va perché è lui, suo marito Aaron, l’io narrante, che non vuole lasciarla andare, che non riesce ad abituarsi d’averla persa e d’essere rimasto solo. Mesi dopo la sua morte, descrive così il suo stato:
In un certo senso è come se il dolore fosse stato coperto da una specie di plaid. È ancora lì, ma gli angoli vivi sono… smussati, per così dire. Poi ogni tanto sollevo un angolo del plaid, solo per controllare, e zac! Come un coltello! Non sono sicuro che cambierà mai.
Così, succede che, all’improvviso, dopo un tempo di lutto di diversi mesi, Aaron rivede Dorothy sul marciapiede davanti alla loro casa (che lui ha tardato a far ricostruire dopo il crollo). Si salutano.
E, da quel momento lei ritorna: lo affianca senza preavviso, gli cammina accanto, si parlano, anche se probabilmente nessuno dei due emette un suono.
E in queste brevi conversazioni Aaron non balbetta, come invece gli succede ogni tanto in quelle ‘normali’, in quelle ad alta voce.
Guida rapida agli addii modifica in meglio, almeno per una volta, il titolo originale, il più banale The Beginner’s Goodbye, e deriva dal mestiere del protagonista, l’io narrante Aaron, che manda avanti con la sorella la casa editrice di famiglia, specializzata in pubblicazioni a pagamento, ma che col tempo si è inventata la linea delle “guide rapide” più o meno per qualsiasi cosa. Volutamente superficiali, non approfondite, nate soprattutto come strenna.
Aaron impara a vedere Dorothy accanto a sé dopo mesi che è morta, impara a convivere con quella presenza che qualcuno potrebbe definire fantasma.
Poi, impara a farne a meno. Se ne libera, per così dire.
Succede quando scatta l’ingranaggio, anche senza nessun clic: ma quando il rumore delle cose che esistono torna a pulsare nelle sue orecchie e nel suo cuore, Aaron, senza neppure accorgersene, impara ad andare avanti.
Come nel film Ghost, dove era lei, Demi Moore, la sopravvissuta, e lui, Patrick Swayze, il defunto. Ruolo invertiti.
Ruoli invertiti anche nel magnifico struggente film diretto e interpretato da Warren Beatty con Julie Christie che cito nel titolo del mio commento.
Morti, ma senza esagerare, direbbe Fabio Bartolomei, citando uno dei suoi ultimi romanzi.
Ritrovo Anne Tyler dopo una dozzina d’anni (quattrodici, per l’esattezza) che ho smesso di frequentarla e la trovo sorprendentemente insolita: uno dei personaggi principali è un fantasma! Davvero non me l’aspettavo. Mi ha abituato a storie e scrittura pragmatiche, concrete, realistiche (per quanto la realtà sia imperfetta e butterata). E, sì, anche ordinarie, quotidiane. E la ritrovo che mi racconta la storia di un fantasma!
Ma comunque, anche questa volta mi ha raccontato la vita.
January 19, 2023
Out of the blue, a tree crashes down on Aaron and Dorothy's home - and kills Dorothy outright. Life as Aaron knew it was completely destroyed, along with most of his living room.
Aaron and Dorothy had always been an "odd" couple according to Aaron's bossy sister, Nandina. (Anne Tyler's forte is injecting humour at unexpected moments in a narrative.) Aaron confesses that:
(Caption: Science Says Short Women and Tall Men Make the Happiest Couples. Get yourself a shawty. MAXIM magazine, 2018.)
This story deals with sudden, tragic death, and its effects on the ones left behind. The Beginner's Goodbye was published in 2012, many years after Anne Tyler's own husband, Taghi Modarressi, had died of cancer in 1997. By 2012, Tyler could probably still sharply recall that terrible time of loss, but her abiding grief had hopefully become more of a shadow pain. Life does go on, and time does heal or at least dull the pain of most wounds.
Aaron's grief-stricken lassitude, his need to reconnect with Dorothy, his self-examination and recriminations, his guilt at past things said and done - all of that had a ring of truth and familiarity to it.
I loved the quirky scenes when Dorothy "resurrected" and would disconcertingly appear by Aaron's side in public. Anne Tyler literally gave life to the platitude that bereaved people often receive from well-meaning friends and relatives: "Her spirit is still here with you....!"
This was one of Anne Tyler's most emotionally vivid books and I really enjoyed it for this reason. Some readers felt uncomfortable with this aspect of the novel. Perhaps they have come to expect that all good literary fiction has to be glum and unemotional, or concentrate solely on depicting humanity's descent into depravity or hopelessness, etc., etc., etc....?
In The Beginner's Goodbye, we do indeed have a very unhappy protagonist, but we aren't forced to drown forever in gloom. Aaron presents himself as a staid, unadventurous character, averse to ostentation and change in any form. Well, as I mentioned before, a tree topples over, destroying his house and killing his wife, so change is forced upon him. We watch Aaron evolve from a rather closed, self-absorbed man into someone capable of having (and indeed creating) a new life.
I loved the colourful characters: curmudgeonly, goofy Aaron, the long-suffering Dorothy, and the office clerk, Peggy, who wears all those extreme outfits. Peggy always cracked me up - what a live wire! (I must admit that I identified with bits and pieces of all of these characters.)
This is one of my all time favourite Anne Tyler reads. It came to me at a time when I could truly relate to it and left me profoundly satisfied - even a tad healed. Anne Tyler got it exactly right.
Aaron and Dorothy had always been an "odd" couple according to Aaron's bossy sister, Nandina. (Anne Tyler's forte is injecting humour at unexpected moments in a narrative.) Aaron confesses that:
"(Dorothy) was short and plump and serious-looking.... My sister said Dorothy was too old for me but... Even though she was eight years my senior - forty-three when she died - she seemed younger, because of that good strong Hispanic skin. Plus, she had enough padding to fill out any lines..... My sister also said she was too short for me, and it is undeniable that when Dorothy and I hugged, all the wrong parts of us met. I am six-feet-four. Dorothy was not quite five-one. If you saw us walking down the street together, my sister said, you would take us for a father and child heading off to grammar school... Dorothy was a doctor. I work as an editor in my family's publishing firm...."
(Caption: Science Says Short Women and Tall Men Make the Happiest Couples. Get yourself a shawty. MAXIM magazine, 2018.)
This story deals with sudden, tragic death, and its effects on the ones left behind. The Beginner's Goodbye was published in 2012, many years after Anne Tyler's own husband, Taghi Modarressi, had died of cancer in 1997. By 2012, Tyler could probably still sharply recall that terrible time of loss, but her abiding grief had hopefully become more of a shadow pain. Life does go on, and time does heal or at least dull the pain of most wounds.
Aaron's grief-stricken lassitude, his need to reconnect with Dorothy, his self-examination and recriminations, his guilt at past things said and done - all of that had a ring of truth and familiarity to it.
I loved the quirky scenes when Dorothy "resurrected" and would disconcertingly appear by Aaron's side in public. Anne Tyler literally gave life to the platitude that bereaved people often receive from well-meaning friends and relatives: "Her spirit is still here with you....!"
This was one of Anne Tyler's most emotionally vivid books and I really enjoyed it for this reason. Some readers felt uncomfortable with this aspect of the novel. Perhaps they have come to expect that all good literary fiction has to be glum and unemotional, or concentrate solely on depicting humanity's descent into depravity or hopelessness, etc., etc., etc....?
In The Beginner's Goodbye, we do indeed have a very unhappy protagonist, but we aren't forced to drown forever in gloom. Aaron presents himself as a staid, unadventurous character, averse to ostentation and change in any form. Well, as I mentioned before, a tree topples over, destroying his house and killing his wife, so change is forced upon him. We watch Aaron evolve from a rather closed, self-absorbed man into someone capable of having (and indeed creating) a new life.
I loved the colourful characters: curmudgeonly, goofy Aaron, the long-suffering Dorothy, and the office clerk, Peggy, who wears all those extreme outfits. Peggy always cracked me up - what a live wire! (I must admit that I identified with bits and pieces of all of these characters.)
This is one of my all time favourite Anne Tyler reads. It came to me at a time when I could truly relate to it and left me profoundly satisfied - even a tad healed. Anne Tyler got it exactly right.
September 28, 2015
DON'T JUDGE THIS BOOK BY ITS COVERS (review is below):
What's up with the covers for Anne Tyler's The Beginner's Goodbye? On the front of my edition, there's a gently lit photo of a slim young woman wearing a soft white blouse reading a book on a bed. It has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS NOVEL. I don't know who this woman could be. She's certainly not Dorothy, who's described as short, stocky and Latina. She's not Aaron's sister, Nandina. Is she supposed to be the book's ideal reader? Oh wait, I know what she is! She's a chicklit marketing strategy!
This next cover image, I think from the UK edition, is a lot more appropriate. It features a photo of an empty rocking chair (presumably for the deceased Dorothy) on a deserted porch, with shadows that make it seem like tragedy has struck. It's mournful yet lyrical, quietly domestic. And there's something almost spiritual about it. Quite fitting.
This next cover image isn't as powerful, but plants do crop up in the book, and I guess they also suggest a funeral? (Hey, I'm reaching here...)
I'm not sure what to make of this next cover image, which I suppose contrasts modern life with a more genteel era. Again: it has nothing to do with this novel at all. And it certainly doesn't capture the tone of the book.
None of these covers, with the possible exception of the porch one, makes it seem like you'll have a grieving, 37-year-old, stuttering, cane-wielding man as your narrator. Okay. Rant over. Now to get to the review:
***
REVIEW: The Beginner’s Goodbye – a.k.a. The Reader’s Déjà Vu
This book will be familiar to anyone who’s read Anne Tyler’s The Accidental Tourist or even seen the movie. After a tragedy occurs, a man – who incidentally also works in publishing – must come to terms with his grief and his sudden single status and, with the help of his friends and family, learn to embrace life again.
Tyler’s writing is graceful and clear, but she occasionally seems to be going through the motions.
We’ve met some of these quirky characters before: the fussy, conservative man; the bossy sister; the gaudy, loud yet warm-hearted woman. But somehow they don’t seem as vivid here. And what’s really odd is that Tyler’s protagonist, the mildly disabled, stuttering Aaron, is supposed to be 37-years-old but seems like a man nearly twice that age. He talks about “courting” his wife, Dorothy – is that really a term a 37-year-old would use? And his relationship with Dorothy never clicked for me: a serious problem.
But still…
The book gains in emotional texture as it progresses. The theme of revisiting the past to understand the present is a very moving one. And I appreciate how Tyler, one of fiction’s major realist writers, uses a touch of the supernatural to achieve her effects. The suspenseful way she structures the finale is pretty brilliant, too.
And while the novel calls to mind other Tyler books, it also draws on the haunting myth of Orpheus and Eurydice.
Here’s one of the book’s key passages, about grief and memory. Aaron is trying to understand why he keeps seeing his dead wife:
Notice the details that help ground these people: the hands in pockets; the smell of cough drops and damp mittens. And I like the use of the imperative here; Aaron's speaking to us directly, persuasively. Tyler’s husband passed away less than a decade before she wrote the book, but you can imagine her channeling her feelings in this passage to make the specific universal.
What's up with the covers for Anne Tyler's The Beginner's Goodbye? On the front of my edition, there's a gently lit photo of a slim young woman wearing a soft white blouse reading a book on a bed. It has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS NOVEL. I don't know who this woman could be. She's certainly not Dorothy, who's described as short, stocky and Latina. She's not Aaron's sister, Nandina. Is she supposed to be the book's ideal reader? Oh wait, I know what she is! She's a chicklit marketing strategy!
This next cover image, I think from the UK edition, is a lot more appropriate. It features a photo of an empty rocking chair (presumably for the deceased Dorothy) on a deserted porch, with shadows that make it seem like tragedy has struck. It's mournful yet lyrical, quietly domestic. And there's something almost spiritual about it. Quite fitting.
This next cover image isn't as powerful, but plants do crop up in the book, and I guess they also suggest a funeral? (Hey, I'm reaching here...)
I'm not sure what to make of this next cover image, which I suppose contrasts modern life with a more genteel era. Again: it has nothing to do with this novel at all. And it certainly doesn't capture the tone of the book.
None of these covers, with the possible exception of the porch one, makes it seem like you'll have a grieving, 37-year-old, stuttering, cane-wielding man as your narrator. Okay. Rant over. Now to get to the review:
***
REVIEW: The Beginner’s Goodbye – a.k.a. The Reader’s Déjà Vu
This book will be familiar to anyone who’s read Anne Tyler’s The Accidental Tourist or even seen the movie. After a tragedy occurs, a man – who incidentally also works in publishing – must come to terms with his grief and his sudden single status and, with the help of his friends and family, learn to embrace life again.
Tyler’s writing is graceful and clear, but she occasionally seems to be going through the motions.
We’ve met some of these quirky characters before: the fussy, conservative man; the bossy sister; the gaudy, loud yet warm-hearted woman. But somehow they don’t seem as vivid here. And what’s really odd is that Tyler’s protagonist, the mildly disabled, stuttering Aaron, is supposed to be 37-years-old but seems like a man nearly twice that age. He talks about “courting” his wife, Dorothy – is that really a term a 37-year-old would use? And his relationship with Dorothy never clicked for me: a serious problem.
But still…
The book gains in emotional texture as it progresses. The theme of revisiting the past to understand the present is a very moving one. And I appreciate how Tyler, one of fiction’s major realist writers, uses a touch of the supernatural to achieve her effects. The suspenseful way she structures the finale is pretty brilliant, too.
And while the novel calls to mind other Tyler books, it also draws on the haunting myth of Orpheus and Eurydice.
Here’s one of the book’s key passages, about grief and memory. Aaron is trying to understand why he keeps seeing his dead wife:
[Put] yourself in my place. Call to mind a person you’ve lost that you will miss to the end of your days, and then imagine happening upon that person out in public. You see your long-dead father sauntering ahead with his hands in his pockets. Or you hear your mother behind you calling, “Honey?” Or your little brother who fell through the ice the winter he was six, let’s say, passes by with his smell of menthol cough drops and damp mittens. You wouldn’t question your sanity, because you couldn’t bear to think this wasn’t real. And you certainly wouldn’t demand explanations, or alert anybody nearby, or reach out to touch this person, not even if you’d been feeling that one touch was worth giving up everything for. You would hold your breath. You would keep as still as possible. You would will your loved one not to go away again.
Notice the details that help ground these people: the hands in pockets; the smell of cough drops and damp mittens. And I like the use of the imperative here; Aaron's speaking to us directly, persuasively. Tyler’s husband passed away less than a decade before she wrote the book, but you can imagine her channeling her feelings in this passage to make the specific universal.
November 9, 2018
In a novel that is as inspiring and uplifting as it is sad and deeply touching, Anne Tyler approaches loss and grief from the perspective of Aaron Woolcott. When he was a toddler, Aaron experienced a flu that left him physically handicapped on the right side of his body. He was so young that he adapted, although his mother and sister didn’t. They attempted to coddle him and “do” for him which set him up for a lifetime of escaping any displays of concern, and often even of kindness.
Aaron narrates this story, yet it is through the interactions with others in his world that we learn most about who he is.
Aaron and his sister Nandina run Woolcott Publishing, a responsibility they took on when their father died. It is half “vanity press” and half specialty publications under “The Beginner’s . . .” titles. These are mini versions of the “ . . . For Dummies” type of books and cover almost every eventuality in life. They never wrote or published a book called “The Beginner’s Goodbye”, but had they done so, Aaron could have written it.
After experiencing the soul-shattering loss of his wife, Aaron struggles to come to terms with his new way of life by attempting to figure out how to say goodbye. Over time, he has talks with his wife where they make an effort to understand their marriage and each other and what it meant for them.
Aaron’s excursion into self-awareness is by turns amusing, poignant, and painful. He is oblivious to many of his reactions to other people and it is only gradually that he comes to recognize certain aspects of himself that he hadn’t realized before.
With great charm, delicacy, and dignity, Anne Tyler’s gift of writing the subtleties of people’s hearts propel this novel on its course.
We meet many people through the course of this novel, yet it never feels crowded nor contrived. It is also very easy to keep everyone sorted out: family members, neighbours, coworkers – each an individual addition to this story that carries a unique message without ever veering into the preachy.
This is not a long novel, but it bundles within it a great deal of life, death, living, and growing as human beings. I recommend this to everyone who enjoys a satisfying family saga with a strong theme of how to survive when survival feels impossible.
Aaron narrates this story, yet it is through the interactions with others in his world that we learn most about who he is.
Aaron and his sister Nandina run Woolcott Publishing, a responsibility they took on when their father died. It is half “vanity press” and half specialty publications under “The Beginner’s . . .” titles. These are mini versions of the “ . . . For Dummies” type of books and cover almost every eventuality in life. They never wrote or published a book called “The Beginner’s Goodbye”, but had they done so, Aaron could have written it.
After experiencing the soul-shattering loss of his wife, Aaron struggles to come to terms with his new way of life by attempting to figure out how to say goodbye. Over time, he has talks with his wife where they make an effort to understand their marriage and each other and what it meant for them.
Aaron’s excursion into self-awareness is by turns amusing, poignant, and painful. He is oblivious to many of his reactions to other people and it is only gradually that he comes to recognize certain aspects of himself that he hadn’t realized before.
With great charm, delicacy, and dignity, Anne Tyler’s gift of writing the subtleties of people’s hearts propel this novel on its course.
We meet many people through the course of this novel, yet it never feels crowded nor contrived. It is also very easy to keep everyone sorted out: family members, neighbours, coworkers – each an individual addition to this story that carries a unique message without ever veering into the preachy.
This is not a long novel, but it bundles within it a great deal of life, death, living, and growing as human beings. I recommend this to everyone who enjoys a satisfying family saga with a strong theme of how to survive when survival feels impossible.
Read
June 13, 2017Hmmm. Has anyone else noticed the obsession with clothing that runs through this book? The characters are all described in terms of what they wear and their choices of clothing tend to stand in sometimes for character development. Irene, admittedly a minor character, is always stylishly dressed, leafing through fashion magazines and rushing off to catch some sale at a clothing store. That is pretty much all we are told about her. Dorothy, one of the leading characters, is defined by her total disinterest in clothes to the extent that she fails to even change out of her work clothes for a first date. This inability to know how to dress for a date or even her own wedding becomes a lynchpin of the action, demonstrating her disconnection from the supposedly important things in life. Aaron's rather hapless character is underlined by his shabby clothes, with the wrong size collar or jacket sleeves which are too short. His sister's clothing is used to show how she also is a little out of step with the world. Finally, there is Peggy, whose main characteristic is that she dresses in frills and flounces to brighten up everyone else's life. Wouldn't it be nice if life were that simple...
March 16, 2018
After reading some of the reviews, I felt a bit off-kilter, as if I'm seeing something that wasn't intended by the author.
Nevertheless, here's my impression: this story is about a man who, because of his physical limitations, resists closeness with other people, to the point that he marries a woman who seems certain to want the same, arm's length relationship. It's only after she dies that he begins to sense that he was wrong about that. During the grieving process, he comes to realize he's been living an arm's-length life.
I love stories about people who come out of a fog and change their lives, empowered by the realization that they've been missing something important - that their reasoning was flawed, but it doesn't have to remain that way. And Anne Tyler is such a great wordsmith, anything she writes is wonderful. This book is perhaps a bit too subtle to win the raving applause it deserves.
Nevertheless, here's my impression: this story is about a man who, because of his physical limitations, resists closeness with other people, to the point that he marries a woman who seems certain to want the same, arm's length relationship. It's only after she dies that he begins to sense that he was wrong about that. During the grieving process, he comes to realize he's been living an arm's-length life.
I love stories about people who come out of a fog and change their lives, empowered by the realization that they've been missing something important - that their reasoning was flawed, but it doesn't have to remain that way. And Anne Tyler is such a great wordsmith, anything she writes is wonderful. This book is perhaps a bit too subtle to win the raving applause it deserves.
December 26, 2018
EXCERPT: The strangest thing about my wife's return from the dead was how other people reacted.
We were strolling through Belvedere Square, for instance, on an early spring afternoon when we met our old neighbour, Jim Rust. "Well, what do you know," he said to me. "Aaron!" Then he noticed Dorothy beside me. She stood peering up at him with one hand shielding her forehead from the sun. His eyes widened and he turned to me again.
I said, "How's it going, Jim?"
Visibly, he pulled himself together. "Oh . . . great," he said. "I mean. . . or, rather . . . but of course we miss you. Neighbourhood is not the same without you!"
He was focusing on me alone - specifically on my mouth, as if I were the one who was talking. He wouldn't look at Dorothy. He had pivoted a few inches so as to exclude her from his line of vision.
I took pity on him. I said, "Well, tell everybody hello," and we walked on. Beside me, Dorothy gave one of her dry chuckles.
Other people pretended not to recognize either one of us. They would catch sight of us from a distance, and this sort of jolt would alter their expressions and they would all at once dart down a side street, busy, busy, much to accomplish, very important concerns on their minds. I didn't hold it against them. I knew this was a lot to adjust to. In their position, I might have behaved the same way. I like to think I wouldn't, but I might have.
The ones who made me laugh aloud, were the ones who'd forgotten she'd died. Granted, there were only two or three of those - people who barely knew us. In line at the bank once we were spotted by Mr Von Sant, who had handled our mortgage application several years before. He was crossing the lobby and he paused to ask, "You two still enjoying the house?"
"Oh, yes," I told him.
Just to keep things simple.
I pictured how the realization would hit him a few minutes later. 'Wait,' he would say to himself, 'Didn't I hear something about. . .'
Unless he never gave us another thought. Or hadn't heard the news in the first place. He'd go on forever assuming that the house was still intact, and Dorothy still alive, and the two of us still happily, unremarkably married.
ABOUT THIS BOOK: Anne Tyler explores how a middle-aged man, ripped apart by the death of his wife, is gradually restored by her frequent appearances—in their house, on the roadway, in the market.
Crippled in his right arm and leg, Aaron spent his childhood fending off a sister who wants to manage him. So when he meets Dorothy, a plain, outspoken, self-dependent young woman, she is like a breath of fresh air. Unhesitatingly he marries her, and they have a relatively happy, unremarkable marriage. But when a tree crashes into their house and Dorothy is killed, Aaron feels as though he has been erased forever. Only Dorothy’s unexpected appearances from the dead help him to live in the moment and to find some peace.
Gradually he discovers, as he works in the family’s vanity-publishing business, turning out titles that presume to guide beginners through the trials of life, that maybe for this beginner there is a way of saying goodbye.
MY THOUGHTS: I enjoyed this, my second novel by Anne Tyler, more than the first. Living through grief and finding your way out the other side is the central theme.
Tyler's novels are very much character based, so don't go expecting a lot of action. What you have is Aaron, a very mild mannered man, wracked with guilt at surviving the freak accident that kills his wife, Dorothy. Forced to go live with his controlling sister, with whom he also works, this is the story of Aaron's working through his grief and his discovery that, although he may have been happy with what he had, he does not necessarily want more of the same.
I found this quite a pleasant read, and it may have even earned a half star more than I eventually rated it had the ending not contradicted the beginning.
I also believe that a different narrator would have greatly enhanced my enjoyment. Kirby Heyborne read with very little emotion. S/he could have been reading a shopping list.
THE AUTHOR: Anne Tyler was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in 1941 and grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. She graduated at nineteen from Duke University and went on to do graduate work in Russian studies at Columbia University. She has published 20 novels, her debut novel being If Morning Ever Comes in (1964). Her eleventh novel, Breathing Lessons , was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1988. She is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters.
DISCLOSURE: I listened to the audiobook of The Beginners Goodbye by Anne Tyler, narrated by Kirby Heyborne and published by Random House Audiobooks, via OverDrive. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.
Please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com for an explanation of my rating system. This review and others are also published on my blog sandysbookaday.wordpress.com https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
We were strolling through Belvedere Square, for instance, on an early spring afternoon when we met our old neighbour, Jim Rust. "Well, what do you know," he said to me. "Aaron!" Then he noticed Dorothy beside me. She stood peering up at him with one hand shielding her forehead from the sun. His eyes widened and he turned to me again.
I said, "How's it going, Jim?"
Visibly, he pulled himself together. "Oh . . . great," he said. "I mean. . . or, rather . . . but of course we miss you. Neighbourhood is not the same without you!"
He was focusing on me alone - specifically on my mouth, as if I were the one who was talking. He wouldn't look at Dorothy. He had pivoted a few inches so as to exclude her from his line of vision.
I took pity on him. I said, "Well, tell everybody hello," and we walked on. Beside me, Dorothy gave one of her dry chuckles.
Other people pretended not to recognize either one of us. They would catch sight of us from a distance, and this sort of jolt would alter their expressions and they would all at once dart down a side street, busy, busy, much to accomplish, very important concerns on their minds. I didn't hold it against them. I knew this was a lot to adjust to. In their position, I might have behaved the same way. I like to think I wouldn't, but I might have.
The ones who made me laugh aloud, were the ones who'd forgotten she'd died. Granted, there were only two or three of those - people who barely knew us. In line at the bank once we were spotted by Mr Von Sant, who had handled our mortgage application several years before. He was crossing the lobby and he paused to ask, "You two still enjoying the house?"
"Oh, yes," I told him.
Just to keep things simple.
I pictured how the realization would hit him a few minutes later. 'Wait,' he would say to himself, 'Didn't I hear something about. . .'
Unless he never gave us another thought. Or hadn't heard the news in the first place. He'd go on forever assuming that the house was still intact, and Dorothy still alive, and the two of us still happily, unremarkably married.
ABOUT THIS BOOK: Anne Tyler explores how a middle-aged man, ripped apart by the death of his wife, is gradually restored by her frequent appearances—in their house, on the roadway, in the market.
Crippled in his right arm and leg, Aaron spent his childhood fending off a sister who wants to manage him. So when he meets Dorothy, a plain, outspoken, self-dependent young woman, she is like a breath of fresh air. Unhesitatingly he marries her, and they have a relatively happy, unremarkable marriage. But when a tree crashes into their house and Dorothy is killed, Aaron feels as though he has been erased forever. Only Dorothy’s unexpected appearances from the dead help him to live in the moment and to find some peace.
Gradually he discovers, as he works in the family’s vanity-publishing business, turning out titles that presume to guide beginners through the trials of life, that maybe for this beginner there is a way of saying goodbye.
MY THOUGHTS: I enjoyed this, my second novel by Anne Tyler, more than the first. Living through grief and finding your way out the other side is the central theme.
Tyler's novels are very much character based, so don't go expecting a lot of action. What you have is Aaron, a very mild mannered man, wracked with guilt at surviving the freak accident that kills his wife, Dorothy. Forced to go live with his controlling sister, with whom he also works, this is the story of Aaron's working through his grief and his discovery that, although he may have been happy with what he had, he does not necessarily want more of the same.
I found this quite a pleasant read, and it may have even earned a half star more than I eventually rated it had the ending not contradicted the beginning.
I also believe that a different narrator would have greatly enhanced my enjoyment. Kirby Heyborne read with very little emotion. S/he could have been reading a shopping list.
THE AUTHOR: Anne Tyler was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in 1941 and grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. She graduated at nineteen from Duke University and went on to do graduate work in Russian studies at Columbia University. She has published 20 novels, her debut novel being If Morning Ever Comes in (1964). Her eleventh novel, Breathing Lessons , was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1988. She is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters.
DISCLOSURE: I listened to the audiobook of The Beginners Goodbye by Anne Tyler, narrated by Kirby Heyborne and published by Random House Audiobooks, via OverDrive. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.
Please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com for an explanation of my rating system. This review and others are also published on my blog sandysbookaday.wordpress.com https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
February 25, 2018
Anne Tyler's writing is impeccable as always. But I felt like this story just lacked the emotional oomph that her stories usually have. It was quite short, but I don't think that is its major fault. For me it was hard to imagine Aaron, our narrator, as a 35-year-old man in mid 2000's Baltimore. He spoke like someone twice his age and it was difficult for me to separate Tyler's authorial voice from her character's in this instance. Overall this story just felt underdeveloped, and, while pleasant to read, left me with little to ponder.
April 19, 2020
A few positives
But not my favorite Anne Tyler book.
I’ve owned the hard copy for years - thought it might be a light uplifting read with some Anne Tyler substance.
Aaron’s wife died.
And the story begins.
Aron’s marriage was broken.... details unravel....
Another “okay” “alright”, book..
but nothing to sing home about
As my friend Paula said in a comment in another (less than inspiring book), that I read recently......
She said: “sounds like it was uneven and uneventful!
Yep: uneventful .... FOR SURE!
but had it’s engaging moments.
Fair..... a great FAIR read.
But not my favorite Anne Tyler book.
I’ve owned the hard copy for years - thought it might be a light uplifting read with some Anne Tyler substance.
Aaron’s wife died.
And the story begins.
Aron’s marriage was broken.... details unravel....
Another “okay” “alright”, book..
but nothing to sing home about
As my friend Paula said in a comment in another (less than inspiring book), that I read recently......
She said: “sounds like it was uneven and uneventful!
Yep: uneventful .... FOR SURE!
but had it’s engaging moments.
Fair..... a great FAIR read.
April 19, 2012
Unless you've actually experienced a horrific event in your life that is so shocking it not only defines your past but also your future, it might be difficult to grasp the magnitude of The Beginner's Goodbye. In other words, that one day in your life...or maybe even minute...that defines everything about you and tests you, where there was your life before the event and then your life after the event. People who have experienced these sudden losses, so strange by nature they never could have been predicted, will know what I'm talking about. You're never the same again.
In this book it's the sudden loss of a spouse, in a relationship that was far from perfect and yet it worked for both husband and wife. And this sudden, unpredictable loss leaves Aaron not only in shock, but also going through all the stages of grief, from blame to acceptance. One minute he's living his normal ordinary life and the next he's living someone else's life and he's not sure how to start over. But more than that, he's not ready to let go of his wife either. There's so much left unsaid and so many things he wished he'd done he begins to run into his dead wife in the most unlikely places...or at least he thinks he does.
The intricate relationship between Aaron and his wife before her death is examined closely, and those who know and understand what being married for the long haul is all about...the compromises and frustrations and the little things taken for granted...will laugh and cry at various stages of this book. Even the reaction Aaron has to his own home is depicted in such detail, and it's so real, people who have lost their spouses will be amazed something like this could have been written so well. One day he's enjoying the less than perfect aspects of his home and the next he can't even stand to look at it from the curb.
As the story progresses, Aaron slowly moves forward toward his new life, by stumbling and tripping (literally and figuratively) with each step he takes. This is the new life he never imaged he would have. He does this in his own quiet way, by remembering little details about his dead wife's flaws and attributes. He examines his marriage all the way back to the moment he met his dead wife. And by doing this he not only learns more about his dead wife and his marriage, but he also learns a few things about himself he didn't see while he was married. At times it's funny; at times it's painful. For those who have experienced trauma like Aaron's experienced, at times it's even difficult to read.
I'm not going to give out any spoilers in this review because that would ruin it for all the people who will understand where Ms. Tyler was going with this book, and who will relate to Aaron. The writing is solid and tight, without overwritten sentences or poor dialogue tags. There's no unnecessary dialogue to slow down the pace. What's there moves the story and the characters forward with each sentence. And the only down side to reading a book like this by Anne Tyler is that now I'll have to wait at least another two years for her next novel.
My one suggestion would be to advise readers not to read the book description by the publisher. It does contain a spoiler I thought was intricate to the story, and had I read it before I started the book I would have missed out on one huge surprise in the book. I don't know who wrote this book description, but he/she clearly doesn't know how to write book descriptions very well.
In this book it's the sudden loss of a spouse, in a relationship that was far from perfect and yet it worked for both husband and wife. And this sudden, unpredictable loss leaves Aaron not only in shock, but also going through all the stages of grief, from blame to acceptance. One minute he's living his normal ordinary life and the next he's living someone else's life and he's not sure how to start over. But more than that, he's not ready to let go of his wife either. There's so much left unsaid and so many things he wished he'd done he begins to run into his dead wife in the most unlikely places...or at least he thinks he does.
The intricate relationship between Aaron and his wife before her death is examined closely, and those who know and understand what being married for the long haul is all about...the compromises and frustrations and the little things taken for granted...will laugh and cry at various stages of this book. Even the reaction Aaron has to his own home is depicted in such detail, and it's so real, people who have lost their spouses will be amazed something like this could have been written so well. One day he's enjoying the less than perfect aspects of his home and the next he can't even stand to look at it from the curb.
As the story progresses, Aaron slowly moves forward toward his new life, by stumbling and tripping (literally and figuratively) with each step he takes. This is the new life he never imaged he would have. He does this in his own quiet way, by remembering little details about his dead wife's flaws and attributes. He examines his marriage all the way back to the moment he met his dead wife. And by doing this he not only learns more about his dead wife and his marriage, but he also learns a few things about himself he didn't see while he was married. At times it's funny; at times it's painful. For those who have experienced trauma like Aaron's experienced, at times it's even difficult to read.
I'm not going to give out any spoilers in this review because that would ruin it for all the people who will understand where Ms. Tyler was going with this book, and who will relate to Aaron. The writing is solid and tight, without overwritten sentences or poor dialogue tags. There's no unnecessary dialogue to slow down the pace. What's there moves the story and the characters forward with each sentence. And the only down side to reading a book like this by Anne Tyler is that now I'll have to wait at least another two years for her next novel.
My one suggestion would be to advise readers not to read the book description by the publisher. It does contain a spoiler I thought was intricate to the story, and had I read it before I started the book I would have missed out on one huge surprise in the book. I don't know who wrote this book description, but he/she clearly doesn't know how to write book descriptions very well.
March 9, 2017
As can be seen from my rating, this book was my least favourite of Anne Tyler's so far. Not because it was necessarily bad, but because it was the one that affected me the least. It deals with Aaron's loss of his wife and how he deals with his loss, and I think that if I had just lost someone myself, this novel could act as a kind of catharsis for me. But as that is not the case (luckily!), I merely felt like this was a long story about Aaron's thoughts, hopes and doubts and I wasn't much into it.
I did appreciate the ending, though, which provided me with a beautiful wrapping up of Aaron's story. Still, the ending wasn't enough to make me like this book more than just a little bit.
I did appreciate the ending, though, which provided me with a beautiful wrapping up of Aaron's story. Still, the ending wasn't enough to make me like this book more than just a little bit.
October 28, 2017
3.5, rounded up.
Signature Anne Tyler. She knows how to get to the heart of a person in the first five pages and make you truly care about the everyday minutia of his life. I cannot ever remember reading an Anne Tyler that I didn’t like. This was no exception.
Signature Anne Tyler. She knows how to get to the heart of a person in the first five pages and make you truly care about the everyday minutia of his life. I cannot ever remember reading an Anne Tyler that I didn’t like. This was no exception.
June 6, 2012
"Anne could write about any city. She could never leave the house and write great fiction. She beautifully captures regular people who are not trying to be noticed. She writes about real life." —John Waters on his friend and fellow Baltimorean, Anne Tyler
Anne Tyler's new book, The Beginner's Goodbye, has all the ingredients of a successful Tyler book: quirky characters, family dysfunction, an introspective protagonist, a tragedy, a coping, and a rebirth. While I don't feel like this slim volume measures up to some of Tyler's greater works—The Accidental Tourist, Saint Maybe, Back When We Were Grownups, The Amateur Marriage, and my personal favorite, Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant—it is well worth a read, as is any Tyler book.
Aaron Woolcott is 34 years old and runs his family's small publishing company. He is married to Dorothy, a practical, frumpy doctor eight years his senior whom he met when he sought a radiologist's expertise for his company's Beginner's Guide series on cancer. Aaron, who has been fussed over all his life by a doting mother and younger sister due to a crippled leg and arm resulting from a childhood disease, is smitten with Dorothy's unfussy nature, and he knows that this is the type of woman he could share a life with. But, as in any Tyler book, life does not go according to plan.
Aaron and Dorothy are married twelve years when a tree falls onto the roof of their sun porch and knocks over a big screen TV, crushing Dorothy to death. Aaron moves in with his sister while his house is being repaired. Aaron is in no hurry to return to his empty house, and because the repairs to the house are major, he stays on at his sister's and reflects on the kind of marriage he and Dorothy had. Like any memories after a loss, the good ones rise to the top, at first, but eventually Aaron is reminded of all the ways their marriage didn't work. Aaron, tall and thin, and Dorothy, stumpy and wide, never quite fit together when they hugged, just as they didn't fit as a couple.
Uncharacteristic of a Tyler book, Dorothy starts appearing unannounced to Aaron a year after her death, popping up at his elbow as he's walking down the sidewalk, or staring at the house from across the street. Their talks are brief, but much is imparted. And unlike some apparitions with the charitable goal of coming back to comfort the living, the no-nonsense Dorothy simply needs some things clarified before saying goodbye forever.
Anne Tyler's new book, The Beginner's Goodbye, has all the ingredients of a successful Tyler book: quirky characters, family dysfunction, an introspective protagonist, a tragedy, a coping, and a rebirth. While I don't feel like this slim volume measures up to some of Tyler's greater works—The Accidental Tourist, Saint Maybe, Back When We Were Grownups, The Amateur Marriage, and my personal favorite, Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant—it is well worth a read, as is any Tyler book.
Aaron Woolcott is 34 years old and runs his family's small publishing company. He is married to Dorothy, a practical, frumpy doctor eight years his senior whom he met when he sought a radiologist's expertise for his company's Beginner's Guide series on cancer. Aaron, who has been fussed over all his life by a doting mother and younger sister due to a crippled leg and arm resulting from a childhood disease, is smitten with Dorothy's unfussy nature, and he knows that this is the type of woman he could share a life with. But, as in any Tyler book, life does not go according to plan.
Aaron and Dorothy are married twelve years when a tree falls onto the roof of their sun porch and knocks over a big screen TV, crushing Dorothy to death. Aaron moves in with his sister while his house is being repaired. Aaron is in no hurry to return to his empty house, and because the repairs to the house are major, he stays on at his sister's and reflects on the kind of marriage he and Dorothy had. Like any memories after a loss, the good ones rise to the top, at first, but eventually Aaron is reminded of all the ways their marriage didn't work. Aaron, tall and thin, and Dorothy, stumpy and wide, never quite fit together when they hugged, just as they didn't fit as a couple.
Uncharacteristic of a Tyler book, Dorothy starts appearing unannounced to Aaron a year after her death, popping up at his elbow as he's walking down the sidewalk, or staring at the house from across the street. Their talks are brief, but much is imparted. And unlike some apparitions with the charitable goal of coming back to comfort the living, the no-nonsense Dorothy simply needs some things clarified before saying goodbye forever.
January 20, 2013
So, had I rated this book when I finished reading it (two weeks ago), it would have had two stars, maybe with a qualification that it should be a star and a half, but the rating system doesn't work that way. At the time I finished it, I was left feeling like the story was too sparse and disjointed, and too taken up with a character who I didn't really like hanging out with. The entire book felt that way, really- like I was sort of stuck on a bus with a long winded, hyper polite but hyper critical human being, just kind of hanging on until the end, when we could go our separate ways in peace, never to speak to each other again. The bus was crowded and kind of smelly and the view out the window was flat and filled with grey skies and bits of torn paper and signs for Burger King (which my companion would have had a lot to say about, all highly educated and snobbish and annoying, and I'd have found myself wanting a Whopper out of spite).
My companion on this journey- the protagonist of the story, Aaron Woolcott- was a recently widowed man who has been hanging out with the ghost of his dead wife. Or maybe a recently widowed man who finds the spirit of his beloved hangs just sort of shows up at random times and hangs out with him: it's probably not that accurate to portray Aaron as the initiator or active decision maker in these matters. And Aaron, you just know, is not the kind of person who, let's say, has a life trajectory of supernatural experiences happening to him. He's the co-owner of a vanity press shop built up by his father, a member of one of a fading but once prominent upper middle class family in the city of Baltimore, an atheist and a curdmugeon. He uses very precise language and is conscientious about his dress and has a mild stutter and a little bit of a limp, and if this totally polite, slightly snobby man sat down next to you and told you, mildly, apologetically even, that lately his dead wife had been visiting him and it was *really weird* the way his neighbors react, you, like me, would be hooked into that story. I guarantee you.
Aaron started his story by saying, straight up, it's been fascinating to see how people react to his dead wife standing next to him at the farmer's market or strolling down the street in front of their house, watching the construction crew replace the sunroof that was devestated when a hundred year old oak came crashing down on top of it, smiting everything (including his wife Dolores, who happened to have retreated to the sunporch seconds before it crashed down). Sometimes people act like she never died, or sometimes like they don't see her, or sometimes like maybe he is doing something crazy. You can't really ever tell or predict, he said, who will react what way. And of course I wanted to know- is this guy nuts or does he live in a world where maybe ghosts do come back and hang out with their loved ones- and I wanted to hear his whole story to figure it out. Which was it. Was this guy lying to me, was he crazy, or do the dead come from beyond?
So I sat down next to him and listened to his entire story: starting with how he was sick the day his wife died, and had come home early and laid on the couch, feeling miserable for himself, and how his secretary had followed him home and insisted on making him tea, which really infuriated him because (if you go on this voyage with him, you'll learn right here) despite the fact that he's got some significant physical limitations (and because of the fact, maybe, that his mom and older sister have made such a big deal of protecting him from the world), this is a man who absolutely despises having anyone help him. Even when he has the flu and someone makes him a cup of tea. (And, fair enough, I'd be a little weirded out if a coworker followed me home, uninvited, and just started making tea for me. Boundaries, folks!)
And he'll tell you about meeting Dolores, of course, and how much he admired her for her self-sufficiency and her utter lack of maternal instinct, how much she didn't want to take care of him (which was a huge part of the attraction for him, except for when he wanted her to take care of him and was hurt by her lack of desire to, which, it turns out, was like every single second of their relationship), and how they married after dating for three months and how awkward they looked in their wedding photos.
And he'll tell you about his mom and his sister and the troop of people in his life who never leave him alone, which is all he ever wants, and then he'll tell you about when the people in his life do start to leave him alone, how totally horrible that is.
And about how, when his wife comes back to him, they get into fights! How absurd, right, he'll say? He'll just start yelling at her because he can't believe that she came back *just* to make him mad.
About at this point, I realized that I had zero interest in Aaron and hoped his deceased wife could just move on and find a nice friendly vampire or something, because with Aaron it is just touchy feelings and complaints and who needs that? Not even a dead woman. And this point came about 1/3 way into the novel, so I knew it would be a long, long haul. But I buckled down, and stayed present, and heard about how things played out for his sister and the nice building contractor, and about the secretary with the fluffy outfits that no one takes seriously, and about the ongoing weird conversation between Aaron and either his a) dead wife or b) guilty self. And I read to the end, which, I felt, involved a writing device which I'm not that fond of (let's skip ahead 5 years and not explain anything about how we got to this magical new place!) and never found out whether Aaron was delusional or just amazingly fortunate to get that last little bit of his wife back for awhile, which didn't even matter to me, because I had stopped caring.
I returned the book to the library, and thought that was that.
But weirdly, these past two weeks, I find Aaron's story growing on me. I'll be doing something (dishes, say, which I hate and feel totally grumpy about) and think of Aaron's description of the back of his wife's hands, which are soft and smooth despite how plump they are, and which he misses so much it brings him to tears. Or I'll be on the elevator, late to work, irritated with the way someone seems to want to get off at every single stop (I workon the 51st floor), and I'll remember Aaron's utterly awkward attempt to thank his secretary for making him oatmeal cookies, which he enjoyed tremendously but which he describes as "the cookies with things like rocks in them?" (that doesn't go over that well as a complement, which baffles him) and I find myself chuckling.
So maybe, now, I am haunted a little bit by Aaron. And maybe I find myself regretting that during our time together I was so critical and ornery, and didn't really give him the space to be a vulnerable and imperfect soul with me, just as he found himself regretting all the ways he never opened up to Dolores, and never allowed her to open up to him.
So, despite what I felt like were some problems with this novel, I have to give credit for something that lingers on and takes up a solid shape, long after you've said goodbye.
But, weirdly, in the space of two weeks, I've found myself going back again and again to
My companion on this journey- the protagonist of the story, Aaron Woolcott- was a recently widowed man who has been hanging out with the ghost of his dead wife. Or maybe a recently widowed man who finds the spirit of his beloved hangs just sort of shows up at random times and hangs out with him: it's probably not that accurate to portray Aaron as the initiator or active decision maker in these matters. And Aaron, you just know, is not the kind of person who, let's say, has a life trajectory of supernatural experiences happening to him. He's the co-owner of a vanity press shop built up by his father, a member of one of a fading but once prominent upper middle class family in the city of Baltimore, an atheist and a curdmugeon. He uses very precise language and is conscientious about his dress and has a mild stutter and a little bit of a limp, and if this totally polite, slightly snobby man sat down next to you and told you, mildly, apologetically even, that lately his dead wife had been visiting him and it was *really weird* the way his neighbors react, you, like me, would be hooked into that story. I guarantee you.
Aaron started his story by saying, straight up, it's been fascinating to see how people react to his dead wife standing next to him at the farmer's market or strolling down the street in front of their house, watching the construction crew replace the sunroof that was devestated when a hundred year old oak came crashing down on top of it, smiting everything (including his wife Dolores, who happened to have retreated to the sunporch seconds before it crashed down). Sometimes people act like she never died, or sometimes like they don't see her, or sometimes like maybe he is doing something crazy. You can't really ever tell or predict, he said, who will react what way. And of course I wanted to know- is this guy nuts or does he live in a world where maybe ghosts do come back and hang out with their loved ones- and I wanted to hear his whole story to figure it out. Which was it. Was this guy lying to me, was he crazy, or do the dead come from beyond?
So I sat down next to him and listened to his entire story: starting with how he was sick the day his wife died, and had come home early and laid on the couch, feeling miserable for himself, and how his secretary had followed him home and insisted on making him tea, which really infuriated him because (if you go on this voyage with him, you'll learn right here) despite the fact that he's got some significant physical limitations (and because of the fact, maybe, that his mom and older sister have made such a big deal of protecting him from the world), this is a man who absolutely despises having anyone help him. Even when he has the flu and someone makes him a cup of tea. (And, fair enough, I'd be a little weirded out if a coworker followed me home, uninvited, and just started making tea for me. Boundaries, folks!)
And he'll tell you about meeting Dolores, of course, and how much he admired her for her self-sufficiency and her utter lack of maternal instinct, how much she didn't want to take care of him (which was a huge part of the attraction for him, except for when he wanted her to take care of him and was hurt by her lack of desire to, which, it turns out, was like every single second of their relationship), and how they married after dating for three months and how awkward they looked in their wedding photos.
And he'll tell you about his mom and his sister and the troop of people in his life who never leave him alone, which is all he ever wants, and then he'll tell you about when the people in his life do start to leave him alone, how totally horrible that is.
And about how, when his wife comes back to him, they get into fights! How absurd, right, he'll say? He'll just start yelling at her because he can't believe that she came back *just* to make him mad.
About at this point, I realized that I had zero interest in Aaron and hoped his deceased wife could just move on and find a nice friendly vampire or something, because with Aaron it is just touchy feelings and complaints and who needs that? Not even a dead woman. And this point came about 1/3 way into the novel, so I knew it would be a long, long haul. But I buckled down, and stayed present, and heard about how things played out for his sister and the nice building contractor, and about the secretary with the fluffy outfits that no one takes seriously, and about the ongoing weird conversation between Aaron and either his a) dead wife or b) guilty self. And I read to the end, which, I felt, involved a writing device which I'm not that fond of (let's skip ahead 5 years and not explain anything about how we got to this magical new place!) and never found out whether Aaron was delusional or just amazingly fortunate to get that last little bit of his wife back for awhile, which didn't even matter to me, because I had stopped caring.
I returned the book to the library, and thought that was that.
But weirdly, these past two weeks, I find Aaron's story growing on me. I'll be doing something (dishes, say, which I hate and feel totally grumpy about) and think of Aaron's description of the back of his wife's hands, which are soft and smooth despite how plump they are, and which he misses so much it brings him to tears. Or I'll be on the elevator, late to work, irritated with the way someone seems to want to get off at every single stop (I workon the 51st floor), and I'll remember Aaron's utterly awkward attempt to thank his secretary for making him oatmeal cookies, which he enjoyed tremendously but which he describes as "the cookies with things like rocks in them?" (that doesn't go over that well as a complement, which baffles him) and I find myself chuckling.
So maybe, now, I am haunted a little bit by Aaron. And maybe I find myself regretting that during our time together I was so critical and ornery, and didn't really give him the space to be a vulnerable and imperfect soul with me, just as he found himself regretting all the ways he never opened up to Dolores, and never allowed her to open up to him.
So, despite what I felt like were some problems with this novel, I have to give credit for something that lingers on and takes up a solid shape, long after you've said goodbye.
But, weirdly, in the space of two weeks, I've found myself going back again and again to
February 22, 2020
The Beginner's Goodbye wasn't bad although it wasn't memorable either. Thankfully, it was short and the narrator, Kirby Heyborne, was easy on the ear.
I like stories about ordinary people. Tyler is the undisputed queen of the domestic novel. Unfortunately, midway through, I sort of got bored with our narrator, the thirty-seven-year-old Aaron, who's a widower. He's reminiscing about his deceased wife, who was relatively odd and eight years his senior. While he's distraught by her passing, he comes to have some realisations. I've always been perplexed/intrigued/annoyed by this phenomenon that occurs in relationships - we end up disliking, even hating, the same things that we first found endearing in our partner. I put it down to being blinded by love, better said, hormones.
Interestingly enough, this is the second novel by Tyler I read with a male narrator that I found a bit tedious. I do like nice guys, both in fiction and life. Coincidentally, I found both male narrators in these novels kind of dull.
I was hoping this audiobook will re-ignite my lack of mojo when it comes to reading, but no such luck. I shall persevere.
I like stories about ordinary people. Tyler is the undisputed queen of the domestic novel. Unfortunately, midway through, I sort of got bored with our narrator, the thirty-seven-year-old Aaron, who's a widower. He's reminiscing about his deceased wife, who was relatively odd and eight years his senior. While he's distraught by her passing, he comes to have some realisations. I've always been perplexed/intrigued/annoyed by this phenomenon that occurs in relationships - we end up disliking, even hating, the same things that we first found endearing in our partner. I put it down to being blinded by love, better said, hormones.
Interestingly enough, this is the second novel by Tyler I read with a male narrator that I found a bit tedious. I do like nice guys, both in fiction and life. Coincidentally, I found both male narrators in these novels kind of dull.
I was hoping this audiobook will re-ignite my lack of mojo when it comes to reading, but no such luck. I shall persevere.
June 13, 2017
From the woman who brings characters and the everyday alive, comes a disabled man who loses his wife to a terrible accident - a falling tree. As we wind our way through the story about Aaron and Dorothy we are shown the most intimate parts of their marriage. But it is only through her death that Aaron is able to really understand and appreciate Dorothy. Through his grief Aaron believes that Dorothy comes back to talk with him.
Anne Tyler is the most amazing author of the everyday life that I have ever read. Her books are not twisting plots, deep agonizing mysteries, or the unbelievable. She sculpts her characters to perfection, plots her novels to every day realistic happenstance and writes in a simple heartfelt prose. You feel this could be you, or your family, or your neighbor, that you are reading about. Each story she writes brings human emotion. Raw emotion, the emotions we are apt to face in any given day. Her character development is superb. The person that you may not like at the beginning of the story is the one you most like at the end. Anne Tyler keeps me earthbound, through her wonderful knack of bringing everyday into focus.
I also found Kirby Heyborne to be a very good narrator.
3.5 stars
Anne Tyler is the most amazing author of the everyday life that I have ever read. Her books are not twisting plots, deep agonizing mysteries, or the unbelievable. She sculpts her characters to perfection, plots her novels to every day realistic happenstance and writes in a simple heartfelt prose. You feel this could be you, or your family, or your neighbor, that you are reading about. Each story she writes brings human emotion. Raw emotion, the emotions we are apt to face in any given day. Her character development is superb. The person that you may not like at the beginning of the story is the one you most like at the end. Anne Tyler keeps me earthbound, through her wonderful knack of bringing everyday into focus.
I also found Kirby Heyborne to be a very good narrator.
3.5 stars
May 6, 2014
Anne Tyler has been one of my favorite authors, but for some reason, her last few books just haven't drawn me in too much. This one in particular seems a little weak to me. I suspect I should feel some sort of sympathy for Aaron, the main character, who has lost his wife Dorothy in an unlikely accident, and in the process of grieving is learning more about himself, more about love, and more about being in relationships with others. But instead, I feel sorry for Dorothy, who had to be married to a man who is a bit of a jerk and, it seems, never really appreciated all she did and could offer to him in love. The fact that he remarries and has a child at the end seems a little annoying to me. He strikes me as a bit selfish; a man who first seemed to push people away in efforts to prove his independence (despite a disability), now decided to marry someone who seems like the ultimate old-fashioned wife who will take care of his every need. A good quick read, but not what I would consider her best characters.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 30, 2021
Genre: Literary/Psychological Fiction
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday
Pub. Date: April 3, 2012
If you are like me, walking into and a used book store is like walking into a goldmine. Breathing in the old books’ smell is a heavenly experience. As is, touching the pages. I decided to buy three books by my favorite authors whose names begin with some version of Ann. This is part of the fun. I bought Ann Patchett, Anna Quindlen, and Anne Tyler. This review will focus on Anne Tyler’s novel “The Beginner’s Goodbye.”
Aaron Woolcott, the hero, and narrator works for a family publishing company that is a vanity press. They publish a series of beginners’ guidebooks. There is “The Beginner’s Wine Guide,” “The Beginner’s Book of Dog Training,” and so on, which explains the book’s title. Their books will make you think of the “Dummies” books. You will laugh out loud when one of them proposes to add “The Beginner's Menopausal Wife.” It reminded me of the old “Dick Van Dyke” television show when Sally and Buddy were the very funny TV writers.
Aaron has a paralyzed right arm and leg, and a bad stutter. He wears a brace, uses a cane, and drives a modified car, although he hates all these signs of his limitations. He also hates how his sister attempts to take care of him as if he were not a grown man. This is why he deliberately chose a non-maternal woman to be his wife. The marriage was like most marriages with the expected ups and downs. Early on, the wife dies and that is the beginning of the real story.
His wife returns from the dead to have conversations with him. Arron believes that everyone in town can also see and hear her too, which of course they cannot since she is a figment of his fragile mind. Did you ever see the movie “Lars and the Real Girl,” starring Ryan Gosling? If you did, you will get what I mean when I say the Gosling character strongly resembles our hero. Others may think he is psychotic but, in reality, he is a confused man dealing with grief in his own unusual way.
Aaron is written as an emotionally vivid, depressed character who makes you just want to give him a big hug. Through Aaron, Tyler’s tale is filled with everyday life lessons. Her expertise allows her to write an intelligent, literary, and still humorous ghost story. Her writing is reminiscent of Joyce Carol Oats. The best I can do to explain myself is that they are both superb literary writers who write in a variety of styles and genres. Hope that makes sense. If not, you will just have to read one of both their books. In the meantime, I strongly recommend “The Beginner’s Goodbye.”
Find all my book reviews at:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/list…
https://books6259.wordpress.com/
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/review…
https://www.facebook.com/martie.neesr…
https://twitter.com/NeesRecord\
https://www.instagram.com/martie6947/
https://www.amazon.com/
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday
Pub. Date: April 3, 2012
If you are like me, walking into and a used book store is like walking into a goldmine. Breathing in the old books’ smell is a heavenly experience. As is, touching the pages. I decided to buy three books by my favorite authors whose names begin with some version of Ann. This is part of the fun. I bought Ann Patchett, Anna Quindlen, and Anne Tyler. This review will focus on Anne Tyler’s novel “The Beginner’s Goodbye.”
Aaron Woolcott, the hero, and narrator works for a family publishing company that is a vanity press. They publish a series of beginners’ guidebooks. There is “The Beginner’s Wine Guide,” “The Beginner’s Book of Dog Training,” and so on, which explains the book’s title. Their books will make you think of the “Dummies” books. You will laugh out loud when one of them proposes to add “The Beginner's Menopausal Wife.” It reminded me of the old “Dick Van Dyke” television show when Sally and Buddy were the very funny TV writers.
Aaron has a paralyzed right arm and leg, and a bad stutter. He wears a brace, uses a cane, and drives a modified car, although he hates all these signs of his limitations. He also hates how his sister attempts to take care of him as if he were not a grown man. This is why he deliberately chose a non-maternal woman to be his wife. The marriage was like most marriages with the expected ups and downs. Early on, the wife dies and that is the beginning of the real story.
His wife returns from the dead to have conversations with him. Arron believes that everyone in town can also see and hear her too, which of course they cannot since she is a figment of his fragile mind. Did you ever see the movie “Lars and the Real Girl,” starring Ryan Gosling? If you did, you will get what I mean when I say the Gosling character strongly resembles our hero. Others may think he is psychotic but, in reality, he is a confused man dealing with grief in his own unusual way.
Aaron is written as an emotionally vivid, depressed character who makes you just want to give him a big hug. Through Aaron, Tyler’s tale is filled with everyday life lessons. Her expertise allows her to write an intelligent, literary, and still humorous ghost story. Her writing is reminiscent of Joyce Carol Oats. The best I can do to explain myself is that they are both superb literary writers who write in a variety of styles and genres. Hope that makes sense. If not, you will just have to read one of both their books. In the meantime, I strongly recommend “The Beginner’s Goodbye.”
Find all my book reviews at:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/list…
https://books6259.wordpress.com/
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/review…
https://www.facebook.com/martie.neesr…
https://twitter.com/NeesRecord\
https://www.instagram.com/martie6947/
https://www.amazon.com/
August 25, 2018
Боженька, спасибо тебе за Энн Тайлер
May 30, 2017
I have read many of Anne Tyler's books and I always love the characters she creates. The characters in this book, The Beginner's Goodbye, were no exception. Socially awkward, often rigid in their routines and ways of thinking and unable to communicate with each other, Aaron Woolcott and Dr. Dorothy Rosales, husband and wife and the main characters in this story, were often exasperating, sometimes sympathetic and ultimately endearing, very human characters.
This book starts off with a typical day in Aaron and Dorothy's lives but by the end of that typical day, everything has changed... Dorothy is fatally injured by a freak accident and Aaron is left alone.... shell shocked, bewildered and utterly dismayed. This story is about Aaron's journey through the maze of emotions which make up his grief and loneliness.And the story is that much more poignant because of the way Aaron IS so rigid that he cannot bring himself to accept the help and caring generously offered by his friends, co-workers and neighbors. Aaron is stuck.... he can't return to his life as it was but he can't seem to move on. In every way he can think of, he tries to get back into his life. Particularly heartbreaking to me was when he tries thinking about all of the ways his life with Dorothy irritated him..."the trail of crumpled tissues and empty coffee mugs she left in her in her wake, her disregard for the finer points of domestic order and comfort.... I was hoping they would annoy me still, so that I could stop missing her."
Aaron's salvation ultimately comes in an unexpected form... Dorothy, herself. Dorothy begins appearing to Aaron and he feels comfort that he has been searching for in her presence. They finally begin to have those conversations they should have had but never did... neither had wanted to upset the 'tranquility' of their home life. And amazingly, Aaron finds that he is gradually starting to enjoy all of the little things again... caring for his yard, cooking in his kitchen, racquetball with his friend. He is finally ready to join the living again.
I suppose it's up to the reader to decide if Aaron really DOES see Dorothy again and whether they DO learn to to talk to each other about all of the things they were not able to give each other emotionally while Dorothy was alive... or maybe these conversations only occurred in Aaron's mind. For me,...well, I would like to believe that anything is possible and that we, as people, find what we need, when we need it.
'The Beginner's Goodbye' was a beautiful story of one man's journey through loss and grief and his discovery of how to say goodbye.
This book starts off with a typical day in Aaron and Dorothy's lives but by the end of that typical day, everything has changed... Dorothy is fatally injured by a freak accident and Aaron is left alone.... shell shocked, bewildered and utterly dismayed. This story is about Aaron's journey through the maze of emotions which make up his grief and loneliness.And the story is that much more poignant because of the way Aaron IS so rigid that he cannot bring himself to accept the help and caring generously offered by his friends, co-workers and neighbors. Aaron is stuck.... he can't return to his life as it was but he can't seem to move on. In every way he can think of, he tries to get back into his life. Particularly heartbreaking to me was when he tries thinking about all of the ways his life with Dorothy irritated him..."the trail of crumpled tissues and empty coffee mugs she left in her in her wake, her disregard for the finer points of domestic order and comfort.... I was hoping they would annoy me still, so that I could stop missing her."
Aaron's salvation ultimately comes in an unexpected form... Dorothy, herself. Dorothy begins appearing to Aaron and he feels comfort that he has been searching for in her presence. They finally begin to have those conversations they should have had but never did... neither had wanted to upset the 'tranquility' of their home life. And amazingly, Aaron finds that he is gradually starting to enjoy all of the little things again... caring for his yard, cooking in his kitchen, racquetball with his friend. He is finally ready to join the living again.
I suppose it's up to the reader to decide if Aaron really DOES see Dorothy again and whether they DO learn to to talk to each other about all of the things they were not able to give each other emotionally while Dorothy was alive... or maybe these conversations only occurred in Aaron's mind. For me,...well, I would like to believe that anything is possible and that we, as people, find what we need, when we need it.
'The Beginner's Goodbye' was a beautiful story of one man's journey through loss and grief and his discovery of how to say goodbye.
May 23, 2015
Anne Tyler has been consistently one of my favorite authors most of my adult life, so I was pretty disappointed with this last book of hers. The book gets its title from the series of books the main character's vanity press publishing firm puts out, fluff instruction books which never get to the actual meat of what needs to be learned. Hmmm...a quirky man working on quirky books which ignore the reality of life...where have I seen that theme before? The Accidental Tourist! And that's not the only similarity. The main male character in both books is grieving the death of someone close to them, which is the central theme of both books. The men are both anti-social and needed a new woman to pry them out of their loneliness. However, the difference is that The Accidental Tourist is hilarious, warm, off-beat, and best of all, the other main character is alive! In The Beginner's Goodbye the dead wife of the quirky guy is the other main character. She appears to him throughout the whole book and it is never clear whether we should suspend disbelief or not. Is she real? Is she a figment of his imagination? Not clear. I went with the suspension of disbelief in hopes that this would resolve later on, and it did sort of, no thanks to the characters, who were both really flaccid people...nothing to make them very lovable even to each other. So the wrap up reminded me of an airliner's descent. Not subtle. I knew where the story was headed: straight for the ending. At 15,000 ft. Aaron moves back into the house. At 10,000 ft. there's the foreshadowing of Aaron's future as seen in the sprinkler droplets, at 5,000 feet Aaron and Dorothy get everything all wrapped up. At 2,500 ft. he has a daughter (is he still young enough to do that..it feels like he's 60 or so). It's 1,000 ft. --time to find out who his new wife is. It's all too forced and not congruent with what had gone on before. One last note, 4 year old twins giving up a chance to play in a stream so they could watch a couple guys playing baseball!! Talk about suspension of disbelief!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 13, 2013
I liked the concept of the book; however when I actually started reading the book I was disappointed. The novel was too slow paced and uneventful for me to enjoy. I should have spent time watching paint dry instead of reading this book to the end. I recommend this book to readers who like enjoy reading books such as the dictionary or any other book that is pretty boring to read...
April 13, 2012
3 and 1/2 stars
Anne Tyler is, of course, great at characters, but she's also great at endings, even when you've guessed what's probably coming. It's not that the ending is predictable, but that you've spotted the clues before the main character does so. You would've missed them too, if you were him. Aaron sees but doesn't perceive, then he does perceive but doesn't see, and then he has to do it all over again. But in doing it again, you know more, and also know that this time it should, at least theoretically, be easier.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book while I was reading it. I loved Aaron's prickliness, though that's probably because he's prickly about some of the same things I am.
Those who are already Tyler fans will probably like this novel more than those who haven't read anything else by her yet. Aaron's job, editing a series of books for 'beginners,' reminded me of Macon's writing travel guidebooks in Tyler's "The Accidental Tourist." Both men have experienced a tragic loss (not a spoiler, it's stated at the beginning of both) and both have sisters who are forces in their lives. A minor character here shows up from another Tyler book, and though it's not a big deal as far as the plot goes, I thought it was fun.
Anne Tyler is, of course, great at characters, but she's also great at endings, even when you've guessed what's probably coming. It's not that the ending is predictable, but that you've spotted the clues before the main character does so. You would've missed them too, if you were him. Aaron sees but doesn't perceive, then he does perceive but doesn't see, and then he has to do it all over again. But in doing it again, you know more, and also know that this time it should, at least theoretically, be easier.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book while I was reading it. I loved Aaron's prickliness, though that's probably because he's prickly about some of the same things I am.
Those who are already Tyler fans will probably like this novel more than those who haven't read anything else by her yet. Aaron's job, editing a series of books for 'beginners,' reminded me of Macon's writing travel guidebooks in Tyler's "The Accidental Tourist." Both men have experienced a tragic loss (not a spoiler, it's stated at the beginning of both) and both have sisters who are forces in their lives. A minor character here shows up from another Tyler book, and though it's not a big deal as far as the plot goes, I thought it was fun.
August 27, 2020
I enjoyed reading The Beginner's Goodbye, probably the best one of the novels I've read by Anne Tyler. The narrator is a thirty-something man whose wife is killed in an accident. He terribly misses her to the point of seeing and talking with her ghost. There's lots of good, clean humor and quirky support characters. Ms. Tyler has an eye for catching the wonderful details of daily life. Her Baltimore setting is spot-on. It's a captivating summertime read. Loved it.
February 25, 2012
Some authors are comfort authors; we return to them again and again for their piercing insights and penetrating looks at what it means to be human. And so it is with me and Anne Tyler. Through books such as Breathing Lessons and Ladder of Years, I have fallen in love with her quirky characters and their well-meaning efforts to muddle through their lives and reach some sort of transcendence.
The Beginner’s Goodbye is a wonderful addition to her works. It’s deceptively simple: a 30-something man named Aaron is mildly disabled and is clucked over by his well-meaning and overbearing older sister. He eventually meets and marries an outspoken and plain doctor named Dorothy. When she dies (and we know she dies from page one), he is thrust into the unfamiliar world of grieving and lives primarily for the glimpses he catches of Dorothy…glimpses that he believes are authentic. The title is derived from the series that his publishing house prints – the “Beginner’s Series.”
There is a poignancy to this story that from time to time, brought tears to my eyes. For instance, here is Aaron’s exploration of grief: “It’s like the grief has been covered over with some kind of blanket. It’s still there, but the sharpest edges are…muffled sort of. Then, every now and then, I lift a corner of the blanket , just to check, and – whoa! Like a knife!”
Like Thornton Wilder’s Our Town, the tone is consistently gentle and compassionate. Has Dorothy really come back to complete their unfinished business together…or not? Take this passage: “Call to mind a person you’ve lost that you will miss to the end of your days, and then imagine happening upon that person out in pubic. You see your long-dead father sauntering ahead with his hands in his pocket. Or you hear your mother behind you calling, “Honey?”…You wouldn’t question your sanity, because you couldn’t bear to think this wasn’t real…You would hold your breath. You would keep as still as possible. You would will your loved one not to go away again.”
Anne Tyler fans can expect whimsical and likeable secondary characters, and there are many of them in this novel: his sister Nandina, the contractor, Gil, and a host of well-meaning friends and acquaintances that rarely get it right. This book is about our shared human experience of loss, grief and recovery and the dynamics of a not always perfect marriage. It touched me deeply.
The Beginner’s Goodbye is a wonderful addition to her works. It’s deceptively simple: a 30-something man named Aaron is mildly disabled and is clucked over by his well-meaning and overbearing older sister. He eventually meets and marries an outspoken and plain doctor named Dorothy. When she dies (and we know she dies from page one), he is thrust into the unfamiliar world of grieving and lives primarily for the glimpses he catches of Dorothy…glimpses that he believes are authentic. The title is derived from the series that his publishing house prints – the “Beginner’s Series.”
There is a poignancy to this story that from time to time, brought tears to my eyes. For instance, here is Aaron’s exploration of grief: “It’s like the grief has been covered over with some kind of blanket. It’s still there, but the sharpest edges are…muffled sort of. Then, every now and then, I lift a corner of the blanket , just to check, and – whoa! Like a knife!”
Like Thornton Wilder’s Our Town, the tone is consistently gentle and compassionate. Has Dorothy really come back to complete their unfinished business together…or not? Take this passage: “Call to mind a person you’ve lost that you will miss to the end of your days, and then imagine happening upon that person out in pubic. You see your long-dead father sauntering ahead with his hands in his pocket. Or you hear your mother behind you calling, “Honey?”…You wouldn’t question your sanity, because you couldn’t bear to think this wasn’t real…You would hold your breath. You would keep as still as possible. You would will your loved one not to go away again.”
Anne Tyler fans can expect whimsical and likeable secondary characters, and there are many of them in this novel: his sister Nandina, the contractor, Gil, and a host of well-meaning friends and acquaintances that rarely get it right. This book is about our shared human experience of loss, grief and recovery and the dynamics of a not always perfect marriage. It touched me deeply.
March 16, 2016
I almost decided I didn't want to finish it. I agreed to be part of a bookray for this book. I was a fourth of the way into the story and I wasn't interested at all. I didn't care about the characters, I realized; I'll just close the book and send the book on to the next reader.
Only there was no sending the book on. I was the last reader and the
instructions specified that the last reader was to keep the book and pass
it on as she wished.
It just didn't seem respectful to pass on a book that I didn't like enough
to finish. What to do? What to do?
So it was with great reluctance that I read on.
And I warmed to the story, slowly, slowly, with every page read starting to
like the story more. As I read on, I could feel the Anne Tyler-ness of the
story start to build, the loneliness of the characters, the quirkiness of
the characters, and the way the characters finally were able to overcome
their loneliness and quirkiness by finding other lonely, quirky people to
love.
And, in the end, I liked it very much. A satisfying read. Not my favorite Anne Tyler, but a satisfying read.
Only there was no sending the book on. I was the last reader and the
instructions specified that the last reader was to keep the book and pass
it on as she wished.
It just didn't seem respectful to pass on a book that I didn't like enough
to finish. What to do? What to do?
So it was with great reluctance that I read on.
And I warmed to the story, slowly, slowly, with every page read starting to
like the story more. As I read on, I could feel the Anne Tyler-ness of the
story start to build, the loneliness of the characters, the quirkiness of
the characters, and the way the characters finally were able to overcome
their loneliness and quirkiness by finding other lonely, quirky people to
love.
And, in the end, I liked it very much. A satisfying read. Not my favorite Anne Tyler, but a satisfying read.
April 15, 2012
3.5 An introspective look at the various ways we grieve, the things that go into making us the person we become, and the assumption we make about our roles in a marriage and family. The main character, Aaron, quickly grew on me and I just loved the way he changed throughout the course of this relatively short book. In the beginning I thought this book was only so so but by the end I liked it quite a bit.
December 15, 2022
On 18 August 1989 my father died suddenly of a heart attack, at the comparatively young age of 65. Several years later, on the anniversary of his passing, I was driving home over Sydney Harbour Bridge when Cat Stevens’ Father and Son came on the radio, followed by Mike and the Mechanics The Living Years. I was disconcerted.
I kept listening, passed my usual turnoff and found myself at Kurraba Point on the harbour just on dusk. I got out of the car and walked down to the water. With the yachts at their moorings as the city lights started to come on my head was filled with memories of my father.
In the following years I went to Kurraba Point every 18 August, played the two songs and walked down to the water. After two or three such pilgrimages I started talking to my dad, imagining he was there. I knew he wasn’t, but our conversations were real to me, about how I was going and what had been happening. He of course was visibly older; greyer and slighter than he had been. After my son was born (a very late child) I took him with me to Kurraba Point as a sub-teen and we kicked a football around. Then my father and I stood, arms folded identically and watched the boy – the grandson he never got to meet. My father said I’d done well, which was kind.
I continued the annual ritual for years, catching up, until I didn’t anymore when there was no longer a need.
***
Aaron’s loss is sudden and traumatic; his life wrecked in a moment by of all things an oak tree, a symbol of strength and stability. Dorothy re-appears to give him a chance to assess and to re-assess their lives together; an opportunity to make sense of their relationship.
It is also of course, metaphorically and literally, a time for re-building Aaron’s home and his relationships: with his sister, with his work colleagues, including anyone who might be hiding a light under a bushel who can make irresistible cookies; even his neighbours, with their steady supply of casseroles and concern.
This cosiness helps protect the concept because the whole environment is so warm and caring, albeit misguided in some ways. And this is probably the best approach. It enables us to forgive the shortcomings: characters universally defined by their sartorial choices; the principals dangerously close to being two-dimensional (except perhaps the dead one); and Aaron, who is supposed to be in his early thirties comes across as a man in his sixties; despite these deficiencies, the story remains quite compelling.
Dorothy turns up to check up on how Aaron is going, to see whether he has moved on with his life or can move on. My dad turned up to see the grandson he never thought he would meet.
NB: When she finished this book, my wife said this is how she would come back from the dead, if she went first: this is not a win-win.
I kept listening, passed my usual turnoff and found myself at Kurraba Point on the harbour just on dusk. I got out of the car and walked down to the water. With the yachts at their moorings as the city lights started to come on my head was filled with memories of my father.
In the following years I went to Kurraba Point every 18 August, played the two songs and walked down to the water. After two or three such pilgrimages I started talking to my dad, imagining he was there. I knew he wasn’t, but our conversations were real to me, about how I was going and what had been happening. He of course was visibly older; greyer and slighter than he had been. After my son was born (a very late child) I took him with me to Kurraba Point as a sub-teen and we kicked a football around. Then my father and I stood, arms folded identically and watched the boy – the grandson he never got to meet. My father said I’d done well, which was kind.
I continued the annual ritual for years, catching up, until I didn’t anymore when there was no longer a need.
***
Aaron’s loss is sudden and traumatic; his life wrecked in a moment by of all things an oak tree, a symbol of strength and stability. Dorothy re-appears to give him a chance to assess and to re-assess their lives together; an opportunity to make sense of their relationship.
It is also of course, metaphorically and literally, a time for re-building Aaron’s home and his relationships: with his sister, with his work colleagues, including anyone who might be hiding a light under a bushel who can make irresistible cookies; even his neighbours, with their steady supply of casseroles and concern.
This cosiness helps protect the concept because the whole environment is so warm and caring, albeit misguided in some ways. And this is probably the best approach. It enables us to forgive the shortcomings: characters universally defined by their sartorial choices; the principals dangerously close to being two-dimensional (except perhaps the dead one); and Aaron, who is supposed to be in his early thirties comes across as a man in his sixties; despite these deficiencies, the story remains quite compelling.
Dorothy turns up to check up on how Aaron is going, to see whether he has moved on with his life or can move on. My dad turned up to see the grandson he never thought he would meet.
NB: When she finished this book, my wife said this is how she would come back from the dead, if she went first: this is not a win-win.
August 21, 2013
On 1st April 2012, I was among the audience of around 1000 in the Sheldonian Theatre in Oxford when Anne Tyler was presented with the Sunday Times Award for Literary Excellence. It was my first day as a full-time writer and sitting on a window ledge high above the stage, with the sun warming the back of my neck, I couldn't think of a better way to start my new career. Tyler speaks as she writes: so quietly and gently that you have to listen closely to catch the passion in her words.
Like all her novels, The Beginner's Goodbye is set in Baltimore. It tells the story of Aaron and Dorothy in flashbacks as Aaron struggles to come to terms with his wife's death in her early forties following an accident in their home. They are a couple who seem well-suited, if only because they are both prickly, uncomfortable people, socially inept; in fact typical Tyler characters. We see the minutiae of their lives, the tiny details that are Tyler's trademark. There is a poignant scene where Aaron writes thank-you letters to everyone who has written, brought him meals or helped out after the accident. He obviously resents all the intrusions, would rather be left alone, and yet is human enough to comment: 'The casseroles started thinning out and the letters stopped. Could people move on that easily?'
This novel is shorter and seems much quieter than some of her earlier ones. The family is still dysfunctional, but it is smaller than those in, for example, The Clock Winder or Back When We Were Grownups. It is easier to keep track of the characters and they are as beautifully-drawn as ever. Aaron is the first-person narrator, which is unusual for Tyler, who tends to write in the third person.
In an interview with USA Today just after this book was published, Tyler said: "As always in my novels, the events I described had nothing to do with any part of my life." But, she continues, "I've noticed that my books do reflect certain stages of my life." Tyler was widowed in 1997 and for me, the most telling phrase in the book was: 'That was one of the worst things about losing your wife, I found: your wife is the very person you want to discuss it all with.'
Despite the subject matter, this is not a depressing book. It is a wonderfully-observed commentary on two fairly ordinary people and their friends and family. It is also full of Tyler's gentle humour. This would be a great introduction for someone new to Anne Tyler's works.
Like all her novels, The Beginner's Goodbye is set in Baltimore. It tells the story of Aaron and Dorothy in flashbacks as Aaron struggles to come to terms with his wife's death in her early forties following an accident in their home. They are a couple who seem well-suited, if only because they are both prickly, uncomfortable people, socially inept; in fact typical Tyler characters. We see the minutiae of their lives, the tiny details that are Tyler's trademark. There is a poignant scene where Aaron writes thank-you letters to everyone who has written, brought him meals or helped out after the accident. He obviously resents all the intrusions, would rather be left alone, and yet is human enough to comment: 'The casseroles started thinning out and the letters stopped. Could people move on that easily?'
This novel is shorter and seems much quieter than some of her earlier ones. The family is still dysfunctional, but it is smaller than those in, for example, The Clock Winder or Back When We Were Grownups. It is easier to keep track of the characters and they are as beautifully-drawn as ever. Aaron is the first-person narrator, which is unusual for Tyler, who tends to write in the third person.
In an interview with USA Today just after this book was published, Tyler said: "As always in my novels, the events I described had nothing to do with any part of my life." But, she continues, "I've noticed that my books do reflect certain stages of my life." Tyler was widowed in 1997 and for me, the most telling phrase in the book was: 'That was one of the worst things about losing your wife, I found: your wife is the very person you want to discuss it all with.'
Despite the subject matter, this is not a depressing book. It is a wonderfully-observed commentary on two fairly ordinary people and their friends and family. It is also full of Tyler's gentle humour. This would be a great introduction for someone new to Anne Tyler's works.
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