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Wild Awake

Hilary T. Smith

3.60 · Rating details · 3,741 ratings · 594 reviews

Things you earnestly believe will happen while your parents are away:

1. You will remember to water the azaleas.
2. You will take detailed, accurate messages.
3. You will call your older brother, Denny, if even the slightest thing goes wrong.
4. You and your best friend/bandmate Lukas will win Battle of the Bands.
5. Amid the thrill of victory, Lukas will finally realize you ar ...more

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Hardcover, 375 pages

Published May 28th 2013 by Katherine Tegen Books

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· 3,741 ratings · 594 reviews

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Jan 30, 2013 Keertana rated it really liked it

Shelves: arc-galley-and-first-reads, books-that-linger, beautiful-prose, debut-author-2013

Hilary T. Smith stops by on the blog to talk about the journey her character, Kiri, takes. You can check out her post HERE.

I think the last time I felt this strangely disjointed and certifiably insane after reading a book was shortly after closing the cover of This is Shyness, which is pretty darn perfect. Wild Awake is...life. Hilary T. Smith's debut is one of those books that will spark controversy once the right people read it; the kind of people who don't fully understand this book and want ...more

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Feb 22, 2013 B rated it it was amazing

Shelves: caught-in-a-bad-romance, clever-plot-twists, cried-my-eyes-out, i-e-i-will-always-love-you, hand-me-some-tissues, arc, creeeeepy, favorites, highly-anticipating-2013, i-will-have-children-with-this-book

People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn't know were there, even the ones they wouldn't have thought to call beautiful themselves.

Wild Awake is not a book that will appeal to every reader. While I found it to be People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn't know were there, even the ones they wouldn't have thought to call beautiful themselves.

Wild Awake is not a book that will appeal to every reader. While I found it to be wonderfully strange and hauntingly beautiful, with a gorgeous and euphoric atmosphere developed with undertones of grief, sorrow, and unmistakable depth--all of which bears the same gorgeous and breathtaking ambience as the blatant euphoric facade the main character, Kiri, is living--there is no doubt in my mind that the opinions for this novel, as fantastic as I think it is, will be rather polarizing due to some of the novel's somewhat controversial content.

Drug use, predominately if not entirely weed, plays a significant role throughout Wild Awake, but more notably it plays a significant role in Kiri's recovery after finding out that her sister had really been murdered, after believing for years that she was instead killed in a car accident. Whether or not Wild Awake will be a book you love or a book you hate is based, in my opinion, on how drastically you react to drug use in novels, to the point where said drug use may become excessive. I, for one, found Kiri's use of drugs throughout Wild Awake to be an original and refreshing perspective on dealing and coping with new and life-changing information, and seeing the world through Kiri's eyes as she was in a high was similar to being in an absolutely stunning trance I didn't for the life of me want to escape from.

Hilary T. Smith's writing style is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful and immersing I have ever come across in young adult, and is an absolute perfect example of how purple prose should be written--sufficient enough that it makes the reader stop and admire the gorgeous quality of the prose, yet not too much of it such that it is almost overwhelming and makes the reader feel the need to stop and take a break. The prose in Wild Awake is crazy and chaotic and it's utterly and undeniably spellbinding--in other words it's alive, and it manages to capture the essence of Kiri and her state of outright derangement so masterfully, believably, and beautifully, and it leaves you stopping to inevitably sympathize and deeply care for Kiri and what she's going through throughout the duration of Wild Awake, whether you like her as a character and grasp the rash and perhaps foolish decisions she may make or not.

Dealing with stunningly portrayed grief, secrets, and how just one of them could practically shatter your entire world, touching family bonds (and even lack thereof in some cases), and an unexpected romance that is as lively as each sentence deftly written on every page of this novel, with an often hysterical, witty, and insightful inner-monologue within the head of Kiri, Wild Awake is a crazy, passionate, and profound rollercoaster ride, and it's one which I would gladly ride again. ...more

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Feb 02, 2013 Wendy Darling rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2013-publication, unreliable-narrator, may, read-2013, 2013-favorites, tough-subjects, realistic-fiction, gorgeous-prose, harpercollins, young-adult

4.5 stars The blurb for this book doesn't begin to do it justice--it makes Wild Awake sound like any number of pleasantly quirky but ultimately unremarkable books, whereas this is a truly well-crafted, unusual, and dizzyingly complex story.

I love that it took me awhile to understand exactly what was happening in Kiri's frenetic world, I love the unconventional love-bison whose story is just as compelling as Kiri's, I love the bright and beautiful relationship Kiri had with her sister Sukey (as ...more

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Feb 10, 2013 caren rated it did not like it

Shelves: galley-arc, edelweiss

This book should be part of the advocacy campaign for child welfare laws. Seriously. What kind of parents, after losing one daughter to a brutal murder, leaves their only remaining daughter alone for SIX ENTIRE WEEKS so they can go on a romantic vacation for two?

Ones who should not ever be allowed to parent, that’s who.

I’ll admit, this book…it riveted me. Because it was crazy. Full-on batshit. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not being insensitive to those with mental health problems, trust me. I und This book should be part of the advocacy campaign for child welfare laws. Seriously. What kind of parents, after losing one daughter to a brutal murder, leaves their only remaining daughter alone for SIX ENTIRE WEEKS so they can go on a romantic vacation for two?

Ones who should not ever be allowed to parent, that’s who.

I’ll admit, this book…it riveted me. Because it was crazy. Full-on batshit. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not being insensitive to those with mental health problems, trust me. I understand it better than you will ever know, but I’m not sure I get the point of writing about it in this way. If anything, I think it’s the author here who’s been insensitive. Don’t tackle a subject like this if you’re not going to do it right! Where’s the lesson here? Where is the resolution? What did this book teach me? Nothing, other than that this author has the ability to mimic a pretty well detailed psychotic episode on paper, and to demonstrate the ways in which to grind up a nug and pack a bowl.

I’m baffled as to how this was bought and is now being marketed as a young adult novel, because I can tell you right now, if I had a young adult…I would never, ever allow him or her to read this. This book isn’t suitable for children with impressionable minds who might think Kiri’s summer adventures are something to mimic. Like riding a bicycle into downtown to meet some sketchy guy after dark. Like going into said strange guys sketchy apartment building even after being warned that it could be a scam. Like going home with someone she doesn’t know who’s offered to fix her bike. Like accepting drugs from strangers!

I’m cringing at my own words right now, because I feel like I sound like one of those old crotchety ladies who shakes their fingers at anything fun, but really. I dare you to read this and then come back and tell me you don’t agree with what I’m saying. And if you don’t, I’d like to hear why, maybe you can enlighten me on something I missed. ...more

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Oct 08, 2012 Reynje rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Sometimes books just speak to you, and this one basically climbed into my ear and shouted.

* * * * *

“The last thing I see before falling asleep is the Kali painting on Skunk’s wall. Her blue-gold body is draped in equal parts flowers and severed heads – as if beauty and horror were interchangeable and what matters most is trusting in the dance.”

When it comes to what we talk about when we talk about mental illness, Wild Awake is a full-throated, primal shout in a sea of polite murmuri ...more

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Jan 16, 2013 Ashley rated it did not like it

Shelves: physical-arc, e-arc, arc

BookNook — Young Adult book reviews

I am so completely confused by Wild Awake. I read it, and I swear nothing happened. If you were to ask me to describe the plot of this book or the major conflict, I would have no idea what to tell you. Because there isn't really any overarching story or obstacle. It's basically about "a day in the life of a girl on weed" for an entire summer, and that amounts to a lot of randomness, weirdness, stream of consciousness, and plot points that are all over the place ...more

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Nov 09, 2012 Jasprit rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: arc-galley, out-2013, love-the-cover, read-in-2013

Wild Awake was a strange read. I remember when I first read the blurb last year I was so excited to get my hands on a copy, it had the signs of a mystery and a romance all rolled into one. And when I started my copy it was great; Kiri receives a call out of the blue saying that she has to collect her sister’s stuff. Kiri’s freaked, her sister died in a car accident five house years ago, what stuff could she have left?

I was all aboard on discovering the mystery behind Kiri’s sister Sukey’s death. Wild Awake was a strange read. I remember when I first read the blurb last year I was so excited to get my hands on a copy, it had the signs of a mystery and a romance all rolled into one. And when I started my copy it was great; Kiri receives a call out of the blue saying that she has to collect her sister’s stuff. Kiri’s freaked, her sister died in a car accident five house years ago, what stuff could she have left?

I was all aboard on discovering the mystery behind Kiri’s sister Sukey’s death. Before this call out of the blue, Kiri’s life was all planned out, whilst her parents were away she would practice piano for her big and upcoming showcase and in the rest of the time, she would practice for the battle of the bands with her friend Lucas.

But then she had to deal with getting to the bottom of the truth, what had really happened to Sukey? Kiri had always looked up to Sukey, no matter that her family had abandoned her, the time she spent with her meant so much. Kiri had a lonely road ahead of her, it was a murky and dangerous path, and so I felt for her that she had no one to help her through it.

I really wanted to enjoy Wild Awake more, but the connection I had with Kiri’s character at the beginning sort of whittled out after her character took a nose dive into an abyss. She started behaving erratically, making impulsive decisions that her brother stayed home longer to keep an eye out on her, it was a depressing time for Kiri, and I totally understand why she went down that route with all the pressure and lies she had been told. But the Kiri which evolved was just too wild for me.

I don’t have a list of flaws for Wild Awake that could explain why it didn’t work for me. I think one of the reasons could be that I had this idea that Wild Awake would be a fun mystery read, but it ended up being a much darker read. It did deal with some realistic issues really well. But I think I just read this book at the wrong time and thus wasn’t able to connect with it as much as I’d hoped.
...more

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Dec 01, 2012 ALPHAreader rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites

Sukey was Kiri Byrd’s sister. Sukey died four years ago in a car accident, when Kiri was 12. One of Sukey’s paintings hangs in Kiri’s room, the last remnants of her sister with the words: We gamboled, star-clad. Sukey kept the sister painting, Daffodiliad.

When she was younger, Kiri hung on Sukey’s every word and desperately wanted to be as cool as her older sister and admired by her.

Whenever Sukey spoke, it was like I was eating one of the magical cakes in ‘Alice in Wonderland.’ I grew taller ...more

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Aug 25, 2014 Marga rated it it was ok

Shelves: just-meh, young-adult, family, real-problems, contemporary, not-so-special

Initial Reaction after reading:

Yup. Pretty much.

This book is about Kiri. Her sister Sukey, whom she idolized and was estranged from her parents, just died. One summer, her parent left her to fend for her own for them to have a romantic vacation for six weeks. Then one day, she received a phone call and that lead to her knowing that her sister was murdered instead of dying in a car crash. Her parents hid the truth from her and that event triggered Kiri to be...crazy.

This book didn't work for me ...more

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Feb 07, 2013 Kelly rated it really liked it

Shelves: ya-fiction, read-in-2013

This summer, Kiri's parents are on an extended vacation, leaving her to her own devices at home. She's poised to spend it hanging out with best friend/bandmate/crush Lukas making music and competing in battle of the bands. She's also made plans to practice piano because she's quiet accomplished and only wants to get better and better. Really, not that awful a summer.

But it's a phone call from a stranger who changes everything. He says he has some of her dead sister's things.

The sister who died ...more

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Mar 13, 2013 Steph Su rated it really liked it

Shelves: poc, debs13, writing-learn, want-to-own, cover-lust, best-of-13

When a strange caller informs young pianist Kiri Byrd he has the remains of her dead sister’s stuff—a sister who had been dead for years—Kiri’s life turns upside down. Kiri struggles to piece together what she’s learning about her sister, but doing so sets her on a crash course towards a breakdown, and only by acknowledging it can Kiri hope to live with it, to make it a part of herself.

With the weight of the expectations I placed upon its spine after declaring its synopsis to be one of the best When a strange caller informs young pianist Kiri Byrd he has the remains of her dead sister’s stuff—a sister who had been dead for years—Kiri’s life turns upside down. Kiri struggles to piece together what she’s learning about her sister, but doing so sets her on a crash course towards a breakdown, and only by acknowledging it can Kiri hope to live with it, to make it a part of herself.

With the weight of the expectations I placed upon its spine after declaring its synopsis to be one of the best I’d ever encountered, Hilary T. Smith’s debut novel WILD AWAKE had a lot to live up to. Fortunately, it was more than up to the task. WILD AWAKE reminded me of the best type of our favorite and revered Aussie YA: it’s whimsical and more than a little odd, but ultimately grounded in the solid reality of common emotions.

WILD AWAKE has many strengths, one of which is its startling and beautiful prose. It startles you because Smith is, oftentimes, just noting in passing an everyday detail or thought—only she does so in a way that makes you pause and actually notice what you otherwise would not. The prose tinkles like water trickling over crystal. Its brightness combines with the darker undertones of Kiri’s situation for a full symphony of bass emotions and soprano wonder.

From the start, Kiri as protagonist stands out. She is many things, has many identities—a serious pianist, a quipper; a dutiful daughter, a monomaniac—but she owns them all unabashedly, deliberately. Unlike other, forgettable YA protagonists who claim to be artists or rebels or whatever, Kiri doesn’t say: she just is, and that makes her being genuine. She’s unafraid to plunge herself into making mistakes, with the result that she gets more out of life than those who hang back. The times when she descends into a whirlwind of monomania are thrilling yet terrifying to read, because you see why she does it, why she needs to let herself go like that, and yet despite how seemingly carefree she is in those moments, you know it’s barely masking a deep, deep hurt. I desperately wish Kiri was real, because I think that her fearlessness, whether or not it’s enviable or reckless, would make me a better person.

That being said, in the end, it’s difficult to say what this book is about. The synopsis emphasizes the mysterious circumstances of Kiri’s sister’s death, but besides for being the catalyst for what happens in the book, finding out more about Sukey and what happened to her becomes less and less of a priority as the book flows along, replaced by Kiri’s deterioriating mental state. Which is a fine direction for a story to go, but still, a little…disorienting.

Nevertheless, WILD AWAKE was a story that lived up to its promises. It is more than the sum of its parts, more than just delectable prose, sympathetic character, and endearing family mystery. Go in with no anticipation of conventions, and enjoy the wild-awake ride. ...more

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Oct 08, 2012 Emily rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: prose-envy, characters-i-love, audiobook

Peculiar and lovely.

Not quite sure how to rate this one. I struggled with it at times, but I'm glad this story is in the world. I think YA needs more characters like Kiri. ...more

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Jun 06, 2013 Audrey rated it liked it

Wild Awake 3.5/5

My Thoughts:

You’ve probably heard of Wild Awake. If you haven’t you’re probably like me and disconnected from the more modern YA news, or perhaps this is old news that I just was never informed about. The synopsis means to grab your attention (it works) but it also doesn’t nearly prepare you for the actual book.

Kiri’s days are urgent, manic, and feel like the passed both too quickly and too slowly. She’s erratic and talkative, frenetically dedicated to piano, sleepless, high, Wild Awake 3.5/5

My Thoughts:

You’ve probably heard of Wild Awake. If you haven’t you’re probably like me and disconnected from the more modern YA news, or perhaps this is old news that I just was never informed about. The synopsis means to grab your attention (it works) but it also doesn’t nearly prepare you for the actual book.

Kiri’s days are urgent, manic, and feel like the passed both too quickly and too slowly. She’s erratic and talkative, frenetically dedicated to piano, sleepless, high, and unusual. She’s unlike any protagonist I’ve read about, and it’s a double-edged sword.

On one hand, different is good. It’s a breath of fresh air surrounded by a cloud of worry for her antics and well-being. On the other hand, different also meant unrelatable and I can definitely see her character being a hit-or-miss. It’s obvious that Kiri’s going through some sort of episode kick-started by news about her sister’s death five years ago, whether it’s a nervous breakdown or monomania like her friend’s well-meaning mother thinks, or hypomania. And I liked it, with reservations. Yeah. It’s one of those things, sorry.

I applaud the approach, I really do. It felt Smith stepped outside the boundaries of mainstream contemporary and fearlessly tackled a difficult topic of mental illness, but while I thought the representation of the character holds true, it made the novel, as a whole, very tangled, unfocussed, and frazzled. There’s not really a plot. There’s a lot of things mashed together, love, music, grief, and it lacked cohesion—yet I felt like this style was done on purpose. And regardless of the true intent or whatnot, I didn’t really love it. I was like “well, Kiri goes on another chaotic adventure, now what? Oh, she’s going to do it again? Okay. And again? Okay. What now? Where is this headed?” And well, imagine that, throughout the entire book even up till the end where too many things are left unresolved.

I’ve talked about character a lot (very interesting), and the plot (too unfocused for my personal tastes), but what about the writing? It’s… both good and not my thing. Smith clearly has great control of language as her prose is littered with metaphors…. but her prose is littered with so many freaking metaphors. It feels over-written at many points, as if they decided to keep in every description and simile that they were proud of instead of striking out needless text that cluttered the prose. Yes, these metaphors are pretty and flowery, but they were also glaringly obvious and within the first 20 pages I couldn’t stop noticing them, and not in a good way. That said, I really liked the way Smith embodied the show-not-tell, and well, being inside Kiri’s mind was definitely an experience.

There is an undeniable stigma attached to mental illness, but books like Wild Awake are a step in the right direction-- it shows us the tangled, complex, and imperfect nature of humans and life.

I haven't touched on a lot of things-- character relationships in particular, but I really just want to stop rambling. I liked most of them, though. Oh! And this book is set in Vancouver (HECK YES, CANADA!! THEY NOTICED US, FRIENDS!) which is awesome. ...more

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Mar 28, 2018 Zoe Stewart (Zoe's All Booked) rated it did not like it

I don't even know what to think. Nothing was resolved at the end, and I'm thoroughly annoyed by every character. I don't even want to process what I just read.

I'm still baffled by this one line: "Bicycle Boy, my brontosaurus of love, my love-bison."

What the actual fuck?

She calls this guy her love-bison the entire time...

What?

The phrase "we gamboled, star-clad" kept popping up too. I think now's the time to mention how much I fucking hated that line. I just dislike the word "gambol". Unless it' ...more

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Apr 30, 2013 Kat Heckenbach rated it liked it

My thoughts on this book went a bit like this:

Opening: Not thrilled that the book opens with Kiri getting stoned. But give it chance...maybe that will be a lesson learned later. The writing is pretty good, but not blowing my mind. NOT buying the parents going off and leaving a 17 yr old girl alone for six weeks--especially on a cruise--when their other daughter died in a car accident.

A few chapters in: The writing is getting pretty stellar in places. I'm loving Kiri's voice for the most part, al ...more

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May 28, 2013 Navdha rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: should-i-even-bother, ummm-really, not-very-happy, it-was-okay-ish, idon-tlikethatcharacter

Sometimes there are stories that talk about a serious topic and are an eye opener. Those are the books that make you relate with a character even when you’ve been through nothing that character is facing. Those are the books that make you wonder, “What if those things happened to me?”

Sadly, this is not that book.

Kiri Byrd is looking forward to her parents’ six week vacation prancing off in the world while she gets to:
a) stay home alone,
b) spend time with her bff and secret crush Lukas, practic Sometimes there are stories that talk about a serious topic and are an eye opener. Those are the books that make you relate with a character even when you’ve been through nothing that character is facing. Those are the books that make you wonder, “What if those things happened to me?”

Sadly, this is not that book.

Kiri Byrd is looking forward to her parents’ six week vacation prancing off in the world while she gets to:
a) stay home alone,
b) spend time with her bff and secret crush Lukas, practicing for Battle of the bands, and
c) attend her piano classes, smash the piano recital and come out with a scholarship for Julliard.
Only things don’t go as planned and her life goes haywire.

First off, I think the main focus of the story is built on shaky grounds. How is it actually possible to not know how your sister died? How was it possible for a twelve year old girl to not know that her sister was actually murdered and not killed in an accident? I think if I have to make excuses for Kiri, I’d say that she was in shock and mourning during the funeral but what does it say about her parents and brother? I get that they hid it from her to save her from the trauma but in my opinion, what follows later in the book, Kiri’s insomnia and drug overuse, is mostly due to her sense of betrayal by her own family. Everything else becomes too much for her to bear and even though I would in no way approve of her actions, I think I can understand her kamikaze antiques.

The author’s writing style is intense and powerful and hits you in a way that makes you stagger but the story and Kiri made the whole effect underwhelming for me. I could not relate to Kiri on any level. Her whole relationship.. err.. if you can call whatever Kiri had with that guy in the book (whose name I can’t recall and can’t be bothered to even look up) a relationship, was unreal and convoluted. I have mentioned it many times in my previous reviews that I like the stories I read to have a message to convey in the end. However, Wild Awake fails to do that on so many levels. The ending was just.. bizarre. I mean, I do get that T. Smith was going for an open-ended conclusion and wanted to leave the horizons open for the reader or whatever, but to me, it was just incomplete and pointless.

In the end, I would just like to say that the author couldn’t make me connect to the story. Sure, many others would have found it realistic and beautifully put, and I’m not trying to hamper your chances of reading this book; it’s just that there are many maybes and what-ifs in the story for me. Like, what if Kiri had just confronted her parents and gone blazing mad at them instead of not dealing with the situation at all? What if she had tried to handle the entire mess in a semi-decent, mature way? Maybe if her family had actually been there for her instead of being too selfish and uncaring, she wouldn’t have gone through any of it. The whole message and vibes the book gives all throughout is just sad and weird and unresolvable. Everything is thrown under the carpets. I realize that, that is exactly what people usually do with all their problems, and that too much shock and despair can make your body go into overdrive, so much that you just can’t shut down your thoughts and turn into an insomniac; but in the end, I expect the book to give me a closure. I can’t say Wild Awake gave me that.

So, I’m going to wrap up my review with a 2 stars rating.
...more

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Feb 15, 2013 Lauren rated it it was amazing

Shelves: contemporary-ya

I loved this book so much. I'm going to do my best to articulate why I fell hard for it, but I'd like to start off by apologizing for how excessively long this review is. I also realize that not everyone will feel the same way that I did about this story, and it's possible that I liked it for all the wrong reasons. Honestly with all the drug induced shenanigans this girl gets up to, I'm surprised I enjoyed Wild Awake as much as I did. But I really, really did.

That book description above is extre ...more

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Jan 23, 2013 tonya. rated it really liked it

Shelves: arcs, ya, 2013, favorites-of-2013, contemporary, music-centric

Wild Awake by Hilary T. Smith does what should be impossible: be at once completely batshit crazy and unbelievable, while also painting a pretty accurate portrait of the modern teenager.

Kiri Byrd's parents left her by herself for six weeks while they went on a cruise around the world, but she has a plan: she will water the plants, and check the mail. She will practice piano religiously and be perfect at her Showcase performance. She and her best friend Lucas will practice every day and win Battl ...more

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Mar 18, 2013 Jen rated it it was amazing

4.5 stars

Initially, I was very wary going into Wild Awake because I had heard that the main protagonist, Kiri, is a heavy drug-user and that the writing is crazy and unreadable. However, upon finishing this story, I was anything but disgusted with it. In my opinion, Wild Awake is an extremely powerful contemporary with a memorable storyline and strong-willed characters that I can't help but adore.

The first quality that caught my attention while reading Wild Awake was Hilary Smith's writing style ...more

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Feb 06, 2013 Liz rated it it was amazing

Shelves: young-adult, contemporary-and-realistic, own, favorites, 5-star

Check out my full review of this book here:
http://www.consumedbybooks.com/2017/0... ...more

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Apr 15, 2014 Tamara rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: 2015-reads, so-hard-to-read-finish, will-never-re-read-again, somebody-pour-me-a-drink, young-adult, it-could-have-been-so-much-better, contemporary, weak-heroine

“Sometimes, a problem looks so small you can crush it between your fingers. Then you wake up one morning and it's eating you alive.”

Trigger warning for; alcohol and drug abuse, mental issues and stupid decisions. It’s kind of a stoner book so be aware.

*sigh*

This one is so hard to rate and write a review about. I honestly cant make I my mind on whether I loved it not. To sum up my experience with this book I am;

Yup, I’ve read the thole book thinking ‘what on earth is happening? This book make ...more

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May 29, 2013 Dianne rated it liked it · review of another edition

*Also posted at Oops! I Read A Book Again*

Thank you so much to Katherine Tegen Books and Edelweiss for the eARC! This in no way affected my opinions of the novel.

Wild Awake first came into my radar because of it's GORGEOUS cover. Because seriously, that cover made me salivate. All the elements came around together seamlessly and I give mad props to its cover designer, Tom Forget. Those were handmade splatters, guys. Plus, the color. I am absolutely not a fan of orange but this made me love orang ...more

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Feb 25, 2013 Heather rated it really liked it

Shelves: may-2013

Everyone has been talking about this book lately, amiright? I was thrilled to get the chance to check it out. Reviews have been mixed. Some LOVE it. Some don't get it, but still kinda like it. Some can't stand it. My thoughts after reading Wild Awake? It's odd. It's written in a stream of consciousness type narration that can be a distracting and hard to follow. It has this almost dreamlike quality to it. As you are reading you are kind of wondering "what's going on? Is this really happening or Everyone has been talking about this book lately, amiright? I was thrilled to get the chance to check it out. Reviews have been mixed. Some LOVE it. Some don't get it, but still kinda like it. Some can't stand it. My thoughts after reading Wild Awake? It's odd. It's written in a stream of consciousness type narration that can be a distracting and hard to follow. It has this almost dreamlike quality to it. As you are reading you are kind of wondering "what's going on? Is this really happening or is this something else entirely?" BUT. At the same time it's creative. It's emotional. It's realistic in it's approach of teens (at least in my experience.) And it's really, really addicting. The plot meanders about a bit but I had a hard time putting this book down. It was crazy to read, like MANIC crazy, but I had to know what was going to happen next. Reading it, and getting inside the main character Kiri's head feels like you have run a mile in record time: you are both exhilarated and exhausted in the same moment. In short, Wild Awake is like nothing I have ever read before and I REALLY liked that.

Did you know that many scientists believe there is a link between creativity and certain types of mental illness, such as depression and bipolar disorder? Having my degree in art history, I would tend to agree. And Wild Awake seems to support this theory. Kiri is a talented musician. She spends HOURS practicing and takes very expensive lessons from an instructor whose students often go on to prestigious schools like Julliard. Sukey, Kiri's sister, who passed away several years earlier, was a painter. And I mention these things because I think it's relevant. Wild Awake is not a book about crazy people. It's not a book about mental illness. But Kiri, Sukey and a few other characters clearly have some experience with this topic. So, know that going in. I personally think this is fascinating subject matter, and that is probably one of the reasons why I enjoyed this book, even if it was weird and disconcerting at certain times.

The impression I got of our narrator Kiri is that she's an artist. Not a visual artist like her sister, but an artist in terms of creative genius. She's not only creative, she's obsessive, especially with her music. She's manic, she barely sleeps, and by the end of this book she doesn't sleep AT ALL. She's reckless and makes some terrible decisions and really doesn't seem to have much regard for her well being. But you know what? She's also just your typical teenage girl. She's got a crush on her best friend. She's in a garage band that wants to win the local "Battle of the Bands" (she plays synths). She feels the pressure to be the best pianist and not disappoint her parents and her music teacher. She smokes pot and drinks, often to the point of excess (that's actually putting it mildly.) And she really, really misses her dead sister Sukey.

I disn't understand Kiri's motivation at times and I didn't relate to the manic side of her personality, but I still really liked her. Her actions scared the crap out of me sometimes, but it added to her overall development as a character and that is key. You could never accuse Kiri of being a flat, two dimensional character.

Wild Awake tells the story of Kiri discovering what really happened to her sister Sukey and in turn who Sukey really was. Losing her sister at a young age meant that Kiri had this idealized vision of Sukey in her mind. One of the most compelling aspects of Wild Awake is witnessing Kiri realize her sister was a complicated person who lived a complicated life.

Wild Awake also tells the story of Kiri falling in love. And it turns out to be with a boy who is NOT her longtime crush (no spoiler, that's right above in the book's synopsis). Kiri's relationship with Skunk is without a doubt my favorite part of this book. It is so authentic and so TRUE. It's not a prettied up romance like you find in some fiction. Skunk's not Prince Charming, he's got his own issues. And their story is real and it's raw and it is still SO FREAKING ROMANTIC, people. He calls her Crazy Girl. She calls him Love-Bison. And that nickname will make NO sense to you now, but trust me, you are going to love it when you read it:)

And by the way, the writing in this book? Amazing. Whether it'ss the description of Skunk's room filled with radios; or the manic thoughts skipping around in Kiri's head as she talks about music; \or the past memories of time spent with Sukey; or the swoony scenes between Kiri and her love-bison, Smith's ability to create a mood with her words is truly remarkable.

And there are a few scenes in this book that are utterly unforgettable: the Biker Midnight Mass; Kiri's thrill ride and bender with some random dude while HIGH as a KITE; the amazing 48 hours (or so) of rain spent in Skunk's room. And most of all I loved the "twist" with Skunk at the end (PERFECT.) The imagery is so strong that I KNOW I will never forget those parts of the book.

And for me, that is what makes this book so special. Isn't that the mark of something special when certain passages and scenes stick around haunting you for days after reading? It is for me.

Issues? Well there are the somewhat typical absentee parents found in a lot of YA, BUT I honestly do not think this story would have worked any other way.

In summation, Wild Awake is a different kind of book. It's not your standard grief story/ coming of age/ voyage of self discovery story/ falling in love for the first time type of story AT ALL. It's complicated and kind of messy. But that is what I loved about it. It's also lyrical and emotionally charged. It's not going to be for everyone, but for me it was a thought provoking read that I thoroughly enjoyed. ...more

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Feb 15, 2013 Dajana J. rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Actual rating: 4.5 stars
Review can also be found here.

Wild Awake is for sure one of the most lively, artistic and soulful books I have ever and will ever read. Reading this book was a crazy rollercoaster of emotions. The amazing writing style of the author made everything better and vivid and beautiful and hurting and it just made me feel the story right in my bones. I'm so glad this book exists because it just proves to me once again that there's still hope for YA and there are still deep and Actual rating: 4.5 stars
Review can also be found here.

Wild Awake is for sure one of the most lively, artistic and soulful books I have ever and will ever read. Reading this book was a crazy rollercoaster of emotions. The amazing writing style of the author made everything better and vivid and beautiful and hurting and it just made me feel the story right in my bones. I'm so glad this book exists because it just proves to me once again that there's still hope for YA and there are still deep and amazing stories like this out there, that step out of the 'fun and entertaining' category.

Kiri is undoubtedly one of the most flawed and rememberable characters I've had the chance to read about. Her narration represented perfectly her messed up mind and her crazy thoughts when she often lost her line of thoughts. Most of the time she aggravated me to no ends, but the whole time she fascinated me. She's an artist. And not just because she plays the piano. No. She is an artist because she feels, she's a burst of colors, she's messed up and she's reckless, but at the same time she's someone you hold dear. I held her dear. Mostly because most of the time I was in awe in the way Kiri let her feelings out. It fascinated me that other people feel like that, and not just me. I've postponed writing this review for quite a long time exactly for that reason. Because Kiri is a character that I would be (in no way as amazing as she is) and I wouldn't want to turn this review personal. But it's kind of inevitable. It saddens me when I see some low ratings about this book, because the complexity of it all makes it stand out so much that some people may not find the meaning behind this book. It's like this book screams with it's silence. Or is silent while screaming. No matter how you put it, this book is a piece of art.

I loved how I got to know Kiri's sister through Kiri herself. Even though her sister is dead, it felt like she was part of the story, like she was telling the story rather than being a character talked about. I loved her. I absolutely admired her courage to follow her heart and do what made her happy, no matter the consequences. I know I wouldn't do that, jump into the unknown having nothing figured out, but watching a character like Sukey do that was so heartening and beautiful and even sad, but still oh, so beautiful.

Unlike Kiri and Sukey, I had some difficulties liking the other characters. I wasn't very fond of the love interest (even though he was one hell of a character) or Lukas. God, how I hated him. But what made me not give this book five full stars, are the parents. Jesus, the damn parents! I've never read about such stupid, awful parents. They're mostly nonexistent and so shallow. So, so shallow. And they just didn't fit in the story. So out of place. I just wish they had been a bit different. yes, flawed but I just can't believe parents can be that careless. It just ruined a good part of the story.

Despite everything, this book is definitely one of my favorites. I can even compare it to Looking For Alaska, and knowing how much I love that book, that's saying something. It was everything I wanted to read. It was a fresh breath from all the other usual YA books I had read and I would reread this any day in a heartbeat.

Because this book had incredible quotes and because I want to show how magical and beautiful this book is with author's own words, I'll be listing some of my favorite quotes below.

"The soul has a house of it's own, and I want to live in that one."

"People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time we all let each other see is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn't know were there, even the ones they wouldn't have thought to call beautiful themselves."

"I feel a sudden wave of homesickness, and I don't even know what for -- beauty, or freedom, or love, all the wild and dangerous parts of myself that die a little with every carefully sanitized syllable I speak."

"I unscrew the last of the paint jars, the arsenic and ocher and gold, colors I would have never thought existed if she (Sukey) hadn't brought them into my world. They splash onto the rooftop and scatter into a hundred different shapes, joining the cacaphony of colors. I don't know what she would have painted with them and I guess I never will, but for now, like this, they are beautiful."
...more

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Jan 18, 2013 Monika rated it it was amazing

Shelves: read-in-2013, beautiful-writing, ya

Review can also be found here.

Actual rating: 4.5 stars

This might be one of those rare books that as a whole has had a significant impact on the way I view life and it has also inspired me deeply. Wild Awake is a book I'd undoubtedly call artistic; raw, powerful and passionate. The atmosphere around this story is tinged with desperation and an amazing awareness for everything that surrounds us. I can only say the title fits this book perfectly.

From just this paragraph, you can probably notice how Review can also be found here.

Actual rating: 4.5 stars

This might be one of those rare books that as a whole has had a significant impact on the way I view life and it has also inspired me deeply. Wild Awake is a book I'd undoubtedly call artistic; raw, powerful and passionate. The atmosphere around this story is tinged with desperation and an amazing awareness for everything that surrounds us. I can only say the title fits this book perfectly.

From just this paragraph, you can probably notice how this book has affected me. It was more on a personal and creative aspect. The writing of this book was simply beautiful, in a sort of stream of consciousness which fascinated me throughout the whole book. The way Kiri, the main character, narrates is astoundingly unique. I'd never seen a character so wrapped up in her own mind and sensations, with an ability to look at the world so differently, in both an intriguing and disturbing perspective. I can't ever claim that she is a likable character but she is most definitely real, in the kind of way that you can't ever ignore her in a crowded room because her aliveness just pulls you to her. It mesmerized me being inside her head, seeing the inner workings of her mind. I can also understand, if not agree with the methods she chose to cope with the stress and constant noise that was her life. Like I said, this character made me feel what art is supposed to make you feel.

I felt the same way about Sukey, her sister, whose death played a huge role in Kiri's story. She wasn't present in the story, but she felt so real to me as well. Just in flashbacks, the way she was described, her pure passion about doing what she loved despite going against everyone to achieve it, is what made her so memorable and impressive. Without her character, the story would have lacked the wonderful colours and shades that make it so special to begin with.

The discovery of her sister's fate, despite her being dead for five years, is what triggered something in Kiri that changed her life significantly, not just in actions, but in who she was as a person. That's when her desperation and her restlessness begin, this need to find out more about life and about her, things which made me relate to her a lot. Another thing I liked was the natural relationship Kiri formed with Skunk, despite them being the most unconventional couple ever. The romance is very well developed and also explored deeply, in the most uncontrived way possible. I could actually see why they stayed together and I accepted their past and complications just like they accepted each other.

Having experienced all these emotions and feelings and having also highlighted large sections of the gorgeous writing of this amazing author, I'd have definitely given this book five stars, if not for one small but still important factor. The parents. Or the lack of them throughout practically the whole story. I hated their shallowness and obliviousness and I wanted to shake them for being so ignorant towards their daughter's condition. They were clueless and aloof and just so irritating, I couldn't take them seriously. I hated her brother,too, but at least he and Kiri had some dynamics between them and were able to actually try to work things out in the end. But her parents, who only called while they were on their stupid trip to hear themselves talk and never cared about what their daughter was doing. It was horrible. This would have made me rate it much lower if this was any other book.

So to conclude, I really loved Wild Awake. It had the sort of honest and sincere emotion I've been wanting to find in a book for a while and I'm certain its beauty and rawness will stay with me for a long time. ...more

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Oct 09, 2012 Isamlq rated it liked it

Shelves: arc-galley, need-want-must-have

3.5/5

Some may feel there’s whole lot of nothing going on in this one, save a spoiled bratty girl unable to cope doing brattier and brattier/more and more insane things with each moment. And sure, all that’s there, but for me it’s more than that... I personally think a moral at the end is not the thing that makes a story ‘good.’ Wild Awake reads a little like Out of Reach (the latter seemingly with no point/“lesson” either, with the bad having occurred and becoming the (not so) simple matter of g ...more

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Mar 08, 2013 ExLibris_Kate rated it really liked it

From the first words, I immediately felt Kiri's intelligence and the way she is surrounded by people that inhabit her life don't really see her. Her parents are completely disassociated, her brother is drowning in rage, and her best friend isn't really a friend at all. Kiri has built careful walls around herself since her sister's death, but once a brick is loosened, everything comes crashing down around her. The call about her sister and Kiri's desire to know the truth brings what she thinks is From the first words, I immediately felt Kiri's intelligence and the way she is surrounded by people that inhabit her life don't really see her. Her parents are completely disassociated, her brother is drowning in rage, and her best friend isn't really a friend at all. Kiri has built careful walls around herself since her sister's death, but once a brick is loosened, everything comes crashing down around her. The call about her sister and Kiri's desire to know the truth brings what she thinks is freedom but what quickly tuns into a prison of her own pain and obsession. Kiri's mania starts out slowly and soon grows into every part of her life, which is a transformation that is beautifully written and subtle enough to avoid cliche.

Kiri is the quirky friend, the brilliant and odd person who is the center of interest at a party, but a person that you don't really know that much about. As open as she seems, she is a mystery to many of the people she loves. For that reason, I think her mental illness hides behind her brilliance. As a reader, you see that what she believes to be true and what people see are two very different things, but since we only read Kiri's voice, the reader must gather this information from the reactions of those around her. I thought that was a wonderful way of presenting Kiri's spiral because as she goes deeper into her illness, you really do feel like you are watching someone slowly dive off of a cliff. It's terrifying and mesmerizing all at once.

When Skunk enters the picture, their relationship provides a puzzling distraction for Kiri. Soon, though, it becomes clear that Skunk is fighting his own very serious battles. Their love story is flawed and bittersweet, but I am glad it was in the book. It gave a lot of depth to a story that could have turned into another "smart girl descends into madness" tale. Instead, their relationship helped it develop into a darkly funny and sad book about flawed people dealing with sadness both large and small. Somewhere between glorifying mental illness and showing it for the complicated and painful journey it is, Wild Awake is gritty look at the idea that everyone struggles in their own way. It was a book that was both bittersweet and hopeful with characters I won't soon forget. ...more

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Mar 17, 2014 Ellie Marney rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites

This book truly inspired me. With its language, and perception, and its characters, and its understanding of grief and mental illness, and its LANGUAGE, OMG. I felt like I was on a sparkling midnight bike-ride with Kiri and Skunk, skimming fast through downhill streets, zooming around the curves... When it finished, I felt like I was in a slightly altered reality.

Kiri's slow unravelling and re-weaving felt authentic and brave and scary and true, and I loved that Hilary Smith didn't make a neat p ...more

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Jan 02, 2013 Shanyn (Chick Loves Lit) rated it it was amazing

The first book I officially read start to finish in 2013, WILD AWAKE gives me more reason to shout about contemporary YA from the mountaintops. Or from my couch-top, seeing as how the mountains here have many feet of snow and it would be hard to get up there.

Full Review: http://chickloveslit.com/2013/01/revi... ...more

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Jan 27, 2013 Annie Stone rated it it was amazing

Beautiful. Loved how the writing perfectly mirrored the anxiously frenetic energy the main character was experiencing. Felt so real -- but in that perfected and artistic way -- my favorite kind of read!

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Quotes from Wild Awake

“People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn't know were there, even the ones they wouldn't have thought to call beautiful themselves.” — 133 likes

“It's amazing how quickly the things you thought would make you happy seem small once you stumble on something true.” — 41 likes

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