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Getting Back Out There: Secrets to Successful Dating and Finding Real Love after the Big Breakup

4.15  ·  Rating details ·  95 ratings  ·  10 reviews
You're ready for a new romance, but how can you avoid repeating past mistakes? The author of Getting Past Your Breakup offers an essential guide to building a healthy relationship.

Plenty of dating books offer advice on how to flirt or catch someone's eye, but they won't help you make better decisions during the selection process so you can find real love. Based on years of
Paperback, 271 pages
Published January 27th 2015 by Da Capo Lifelong Books (first published June 4th 2013)
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Aug 16, 2019 rated it really liked it
A wise, sensible, and comprehensive book for both men and women. I wouldn't call the content "secrets" to "successful dating", however. I agree with other reviewers here that this is not a "dating book". It's more like a mix of common sense and endeavoring to take an as-"objective"-as-possible look at the people with whom one is in contact by considering exhaustively a number of variables before making any decisions about committing to a relationship. This book is also about practicing self-care ...more
Apr 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is not a Dating book! THIS is a guide to prepare you to recognize "unhealthy partners", "red flags we ignore", all types of "narcissists " and "emotionally unavailable people". It should be read as soon as your relationship has ended.

The stand out of this book is the "Standards and Compatibility" list that are necessary for setting up your personal boundaries. Eye opening for sure !

Susan's philosophy and her books are first rate winners! This is a must read for anyone who has been betrayed,
Sheila Ambrose
Apr 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Amazingly helpful book to get my head in the right space, way before I'm ready to start dating again. This book helps break down where you missed red flags in prior relationships, determine what is a quality you absolutely need in your future partner and what is a non-negotiable, deal breaker (with qualified exceptions). I love the activities to put what you've read into action and personalize the process for yourself. So so good!
Rebecca Watkins
Apr 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is a lovely, well written book about how to mentally prepare for dating again after the breakup of a previous relationship. Wonderful sections on grief, recovery, analyzing wants and needs, how to be resilient in the world of dating, recognizing red flags, and how to progress through the early stages of a healthy relationship. Sound, step by step advice written in a clear, matter of fact style.
May 08, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Exactly what I needed

Susan does an excellent job writing to your heart and mind
It took me longer than normal to get through because I journaled as I went so sitting with the book to let it sink in was a learning experience for knowing myself
Jeff D
Oct 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: relationships-d
The title of the book is a little bit of a misnomer because it is more than a dating book. It really is about how to know yourself, and understand how you got to where you are, and what you need to look for and do moving forward to not repeat history (or at least give yourself a good chance).

Her first book "Getting Past Your Breakup" and this one go together so if you are going through a rough period I would get both.

Highly recommended.
This book is so great! If you really do her steps, and work the program, you will be a healthy dating person and eventually find a healthy person to date and your partnership will have a better chance of being successful. These methods seem so logical yet it takes someone telling you what to do to actually do it. I cant wait to put these methods into practice.
Jul 14, 2018 rated it liked it
Good follow-up to GPYB, with useful reminders as well as tactics for how to navigate Dating, Early Relationship, and then a long-term committed relationship.
Serena Allen
Apr 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Very insightful with many great references!
Apr 17, 2016 rated it it was amazing
This book is essential for those who want to make healthy choices in dating and relationships. It points out how to recognize red flags and (hopefully) not make the same pitfalls that may have lead to pain and heartbreak.
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Susan Jean Elliott (born November 19, 1956) is an American author, media commentator, and lawyer from New York City. She wrote the book, Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss Into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You.

See also Susan J. Elliott, geographer

News & Interviews

  Justin A. Reynolds burst onto the YA scene last year with his debut book Opposite of Always, a heartfelt novel about love and friendship...
50 likes · 10 comments
“After you’ve gone through a major breakup and a time of healing, you start to think about going back out there. Even if you haven’t thought about it, people in your life may be prompting you to start dating again. Some think that getting right back out there is essential, but that’s usually not the case. You need time to grieve, rebuild your life, and regain your self-confidence. This is done on your timetable and no one else’s.” 0 likes
“Someone who is not adult enough to realize a filter is needed in certain situations is not going to be a good and loving partner. Some people are naturally self-centered and some are clinically narcissistic, and you must listen carefully for these things early in a relationship. The lack of response to a reasonable request is one of those things. If you state what you need and there is pushback or noncompliance with a reasonable request, pay attention to that.” 0 likes
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