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Love Me, Feed Me: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Ending the Worry About Weight, Picky Eating, Power Struggles and More
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Love Me, Feed Me: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Ending the Worry About Weight, Picky Eating, Power Struggles and More

4.39  ·  Rating details ·  77 ratings  ·  17 reviews
Love Me, Feed Me is a relationship-building, practical guide to help fostering and adoptive families enjoy family meals and raise children who eat a variety of foods and grow to have the body that is right for them. Grounded in science, but made real with the often heart-breaking and inspiring words of parents who have been there, Dr. Katja Rowell helps readers understand ...more
Paperback, 354 pages
Published September 14th 2012 by Family Feeding Dynamics LLC
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Average rating 4.39  · 
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Julia Tagliere
Oct 17, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Although I am not an adoptive or foster parent, I am the parent of a child with sensory issues that created similar feeding problems for our family for years. Initially, I picked up Love Me, Feed Me out of curiosity, to see if anyone out there might have been able to teach us how to do things differently (hindsight is 20/20, after all). After reading just the first chapter, all I could think was, “Dr. Rowell, where have you been all my life?”

Rowell’s common-sense approach, reassuring tone, and e
Oct 10, 2012 rated it it was amazing
This book is incredible, and is not to be missed if you're an adoptive or foster parent, hope to become one, or work in a professional capacity with adopted or foster children (whether as a therapist, nutritionist, doctor, teacher, childcare provider or caseworker). Dr. Katja Rowell goes beyond "how to force my picky child to eat" and instead presents a total overhaul of your family's approach to food and mealtimes. Getting at the emotional roots of parents' and children's (especially adopted ch ...more
Matt Diephouse
Aug 12, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I read this book because my wife and I are preparing to adopt a son from China. This book was recommended by our adoption agency.

Dr. Rowell promotes the Trust Based feeding model: parents determine when and what kids each; the kids determine how much. This means that kids might eat more or less of a particular food than you might like. But it encourages kids to listen to their bodies and eat until they're full—not more, not less.

There are a lot of other details—desserts are still portioned, you
Mar 30, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I have an adult child with sensory and tactile issues surrounding food. I have taken her to nutritionists, and have tried to introduce her to different foods, to no avail. She is sometimes anemic, has low energy, consumes soda, chicken, cheese, milk, and not much else. This book was quite helpful, but ultimately, it is up to each child to decide what they are willing to eat.
Apr 20, 2015 is currently reading it
Division of Responsibility:
Parents decide three things: the when, where, and what of feeding.
Children decide how much and if they will eat from what is provided.

"Children want to grow up to be like their parents. They want to learn to be capable adults, and they have an innate, or internal, drive to do that. They try on your shoes, put on your makeup, want to drive a car, and pick themselves up over and over again then they are learning to walk. Eating is no different. Even with challenges, chi
Thorn MotherIssues
I'd stalled out in the middle of this one in part because (full disclosure) I'm one of the parents quoted throughout, which kind of freaked me out as a reader even though I think the anecdotes I shared fit in well! But I'm dealing with a different eating issue now and knew this was the place to go for the advice and support I needed, and I think it was. I went away at peace with the knowledge that I know my job as the parent and with plans to implement a gentle transition to trust-oriented feedi ...more
Sep 25, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: adoption, food
I don't know if it will help, but finally - a professional who actually understands my kid. I'm anxious to try her approach. ...more
Dec 16, 2015 rated it it was amazing
In my opinion ALL adoptive families should read this book! Even if you have very little feeding issues it is invaluable.
Jen Romanczuk
Jan 05, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Life changing.
Logan Alley
Nov 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This book came in very handy for my family. I appreciated its depth and patient tone for this challenging subject.
If you plan to foster or adopt a child, buy this book, read it in advance, and revisit it regularly after the child comes into your home. If you already foster or have adopted a child, buy this book, read it immediately, and revisit it regularly. I cannot over-state it: this book is so, so very helpful.

The premise is based on Ellyn Satter's work, and it's pretty simple: the adults' job is to teach kids to be competent eaters. Competent eaters feel good about eating, eat consistently, and enjoy
A needed resource for parents of children with severe feeding problems (for whatever cause, not just adoption) that is nonetheless a slog to read.

The author seems to have a lot of experience and excellent ideas about creating a healthy food cycle/ relationship. However, she is overly dependent on one source and tends to take a long time to say what she wants - something that is less tolerable when in the throws of difficult parenting. Case studies seem to weigh it down instead of illuminate. It
Dec 11, 2012 rated it really liked it
Interesting explanation of "Division of Responsibility" theory of eating: parents are responsible for when, how, and what children eat; children for if and how much they eat. As a recent adoptive parent, I can say it relieves stress to be able to acknowledge that my child's eating will fluctuate, and that trusting her and avoiding power struggles is OK. It's a hard philosophy to do perfectly, though. I think this book could have benefited from more editing. Its message could be straightforward b ...more
Alicia Mccain
Jan 04, 2014 rated it really liked it
I really enjoyed this book. I was already very familiar with Ellyn Satter's "Division of Responsibility," but I felt that the numerous examples and scenarios helped to flesh the idea out for me a little more. It really reinforced the things I already knew and also helped me to re-evaluate some feeding patterns we'd fallen into that weren't helpful. Even though this is written to foster/adoptive parents specifically, I think it is useful for any parent.

The only negative is that some of the stori
Mar 07, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This book rocked my world and created quite a bit of stress, but I believe the author has some significant insights into trauma and eating that line up with other things I've been learning about trauma since adopting our children six years ago. Our family will be switching to the trust model of feeding as soon as we get back from summer vacation. ...more
Feb 01, 2015 rated it really liked it
This book addresses the needs of my child like no other book has. Finally a book that gets that my child really has a problem that has to be addressed. The Trust Model is an approach that I have never heard of before but I am open to trying it.
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Katja Rowell M.D is a family doctor and childhood feeding expert. Her mission is to bring peace and joy back to the family table. Rowell has a special interest in helping adoptive and foster families who struggle with weight and feeding worries. Rowell consults with families by phone, is a sought-after speaker, blogger, mother, and family cook.

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