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Men, Women, and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough

4.52  ·  Rating details ·  2,609 ratings  ·  227 reviews
We Are Enough: Engaging with the World from a Place of Worthiness

Course objectives:

Summarize the differences and similarities between the experience of shame for men and women
• Define guilt vs. shame—why one is a useful force for growth, while the other keeps us small
• Discuss the four elements of shame resilience—identifying our triggers, practicing critical awareness, sh
Audio CD, 0 pages
Published November 15th 2012 by Sounds True
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Average rating 4.52  · 
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 ·  2,609 ratings  ·  227 reviews

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Jul 03, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This audio book has been integral in my ability to wean off anti-depressants and really allow myself to experience shame and all the uncomfortable emotions that come along with it. I'm not saying that everyone on antidepressants takes them to mask uncomfortable emotions, but I was. Never feeling like I was good enough at being a wife, a mom, a worker, a house cleaner, etc. is just a symptom of shame of womanhood. I am teaching myself to recognize my shame triggers and realize that I am enough. J ...more
Carey Smith
Jun 14, 2014 rated it it was amazing
The audible book is highly recommended. Powerful motivating genuine. The story of how she started researching men gave me goosebumps. I am in recovery and we tend to think normies don't deal with the same issues I am wrong. Everyone has shame it might be different from one person to the next. I always called my shame the guilty mommy voice the moment you become a mother it starts to nag and harp that your never good enough. It is one of my shame gremlins. I also realized that the shame gremlin I ...more
Lenny Husen
Feb 19, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: audio-books
Great follow-up to The Gifts of Imperfection and perfect to listen to in the car. The whole thing is about 2 and a half hours. The main topic was Shame, Gender differences (which I found the most interesting) and Shame Resilience.
The discussion about Men and Shame was new to me and fascinating. I felt deep empathy for what men have to go through and what expectations are placed on men by other men and women.
This is excellent and worth listening to multiple times. Also, unlike my version of "G
Jan 28, 2014 rated it it was amazing
One of the best things I've read. Deeply impacted by this book. I learned so much about the experience of shame and am so grateful for her take on male shame. ...more
Karith Amel
Apr 27, 2016 rated it really liked it
Short, but excellent. Brene Brown is an energetic speaker - clearly passionate about her subject - so this "reads" better than her other audiobooks, narrated by random readers. Her discussion of gender expectations, and their role in the way shame impacts us as humans, was both effective and non-essentializing, which I very much appreciated. I struggle, fairly intensely, when psychologists (or anyone) talk about the experiences of men and women as though that were simply the way it is - the inna ...more
Nov 19, 2015 rated it really liked it
Ms Brown is a good story teller and very much a straight talker. This book exposes shame that hides inside all of us just waiting to rear its ugly head when circumstances deem fit and as She explains we must talk about it in order to be free of it. The more we hide it, deny it, the bigger the monster grows. Still wrapping my head around this one. I used to be ashamed of being alive. That was like a life time ago and there was never a reason. I was independent, I asked a lot of questions and didn ...more
Jun 29, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: audiobooks
This is more of a "speech" rather than audiobook, but dang does she pack a punch in such little time! Brene is so unbelievably at ease with her talks, and she interweaves personal anecdotes, research data, and psychology theory together into one package. Her expertise is shame research and I gravitated to her thoughts on shame vs. guilt. Highly highly recommend if you need a good solid look on your own shame and guilt complex and are looking to move forward in shame resiliency. ...more
Dec 04, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I've found that there's a lot of content that overlaps in Brené's books/talks/programs, but there seem to always be gems that stick out with each one that I experience. What resonated with me during this talk was about how to empathize with somebody. There are many other things that she delves into more in depth here than in her other works, so it's a good follow-up to those. ...more
Jun 22, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2014
Gave me much to think about. It's more of a lecture/talk than a book, and it's Brown who delivers it. I kind of want to listen again to pick up on the things I might have missed while I ruminated over other things.

I'd recommend this to anyone who is interested in feminist thought that challenges our restrictive definitions of manhood and how those definitions hurt both men and women.
Jan 19, 2018 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: everyone
Shelves: audiobook, reread
I LOVED this audiobook. Highly recommended for everyone. I am learning a lot about who I want to be and how I want to treat others from Brene's research and her personal examples of how this looks in her life. This is a life changing book for me.

Here are my notes: Some of them are quotes from Brene or close to quotes, as I use the voice to text feature on my phone sometimes to capture ideas.

Perfection doesn't exist and the pursuit of it is exhausting and moves us away from being ourselves.

In our
Jul 15, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: therapy
For years now, people have been telling me I should read Brene Brown. They've been so insistent -- so naggy -- that I found myself starting to dislike her, reasoning that she's probably just some self-help pop psychologist. Well, as is often the case, I ended up being dead wrong. Brene Brown is the real deal. Observant, insightful, deep, someone who gets what it's like to be a real person, someone who communicates like the neighbor next store but who possesses true wisdom. In this book, she expl ...more
Ken Macintosh
Dec 01, 2013 rated it really liked it
After being turned on to her original TED Talk, I've read the latter two of Brene' Brown's books and am now working my way through her former works. I've read about shame avoidance being one of the strongest motivators in school, business, time management, etc. but never gave much thought to how shame (and worthiness) might be influencing my actions, relationships, well being, etc. which is what this book delves into. This book covers a lot of the same content as the Ted Talk, but in greater det ...more
Useful insights on how concepts of shame play out differently for masculinity vs. femininity. Better organized than Brown's TED talk on vulnerability. I would have liked for her to pay more attention to different kinds of masculinities and femininities (gay and lesbian, eg, and cultural differences), but this is a good start. Maybe she talks about them in her longer books. I liked this enough that I'll check them out and find out. ...more
Aug 27, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: adult, audio
Oh Brene, how I love thee.
I'm not a huge fan of "self help" books typically, but Brene Brown's no-nonsense, researched-based work is something I both respect and get a lot out of. This audio covers a lot of the same ground as 'The Power of Vulnerability,' but if you can't get enough of what this woman has to say, it serves as a great follow-up.
Aug 20, 2016 rated it it was amazing
This woman gets it. Shame and guilt are two different things. Shame is about the person; guilt is about behavior. The key to silencing shame is to speak it, acknowledge it. I have a long way to go but this talk is eye opening if you want to live free.
Oct 24, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Here's the beauty of Brene Brown for me. Every time I listen to it or read it I'm moved to be better and more authentic and kind. I liked this talk because she narrated it. It's pretty much the same material as I Thought it was just me, but a good review. ...more
Apr 24, 2017 rated it liked it
I enjoy listening to this author. She is very grounded and I love her "story" based research. Some of what she talks about in this book can also be found in her more comprehensive book, "The Power of Vulnerability", which I believe to be much more informative. ...more
Monica Moyes
Jun 05, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Anything by Brene is a gem, in my opinion. Content is very similar to her other books and audiobook lessons but I tend to need the repetition. I always get something new out of it and it always inspires me. Definitely worth listening to.
Matthew Bushnell
Jul 15, 2014 rated it it was amazing
This was a very quick listen (2 hrs), but once again, Brene Brown impacts greatly on the truth of "being enough". I highly recommend this teaching for anyone at all. Very insightful. ...more
Mary Geralyn
Nov 10, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Amazing. An eye-opener for men and women.
Krista Knigge
Dec 18, 2014 rated it really liked it
I really enjoy Brene's work. Very real and honest discussion on how men and women confront shame. ...more
Sep 27, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Very insightful book. I think all perfectionists need to read this book. Instant improvement in my marriage!
Feb 22, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Extraordinary. Insightful. Helpful. I recommend it to anyone who wants to confront shame in their life.
Aug 01, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
I've been writing really long review for Brene Brown books, and I'm going to try and keep this one short.

There's a lot I like, including her basic shame/guilt distinction.

There's a lot I don't like, including her naive (in my view) response to the complexities of gender roles and the entitlement-based view of human value.

Here's the definition of whole-heartedness, kind of her most important / crowning concept:

And I think whole-heartedness, which is ultimately what I'm after in this life and what
Judy Phin
Feb 14, 2020 rated it it was amazing
One of Brene Browns shorter Audiobooks which is actually quite nice (I can play it over and over again if there is a point that I really want to hone in!) I love how she touched on both Men and Woman in this one and even shared her vulnerability in the fact that she completely neglected the needs and vulnerability of men in the beginning of her research, how each sex can have not only their own shameful voice, not only the social expectations but also how their partners can be a contributing fac ...more
Apr 21, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Anytime I read a book or listen to an audiobook that I know is ultimately there to give me insights on life topics, I usually come away with a few things I learned. Then out of habit I kinda go ‘oh that was cool, next’ and then I don’t really ever think about it again.

But this one was different; very seldom do I learn or take away as much as I did from this book. I didn’t know what to expect from this one, but I thought I would give it a shot. Brène Brown delves into different types of emotion,
Melissa Stacy
Oct 30, 2021 rated it really liked it
Published in 2012, "Men, Women, and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough," by Brené Brown, is a nonfiction book focused on how gender influences personal perceptions of shame and worthiness.

This is a very short book. I listened to it as an audiobook, and there are only two CDs. I enjoyed the second CD far more than the first.

I liked "Men, Women, and Worthiness" more than Brown's "The Gifts of Imperfection." They say similar things, and she repeats almost all of "The
Jan 28, 2020 rated it it was amazing
"Shame corrodes the parts of us that want to be better." Whew, ma'am.

This is a quick listen and it packs a punch. If you've never read any of Brene's work before, this may be the best, most digestible place to start. If you're like me, and have read everything she's published, it's a great reminder.

My one note is that this is heavily gendered and since it's a more informal recording, I wanted even just a passing acknowledgement of people who may not fit along the binary. Still, five stars.
May 10, 2018 rated it really liked it
Of course it is excellent. It is Brene Freaking Brown.
Sep 05, 2020 rated it it was amazing
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Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. Brené is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.

She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of

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31 likes · 7 comments
“This idea that we ask men to show up and to be vulnerable, to let themselves be seen, but that we really can’t tolerate it, was probably one of the most significant patterns that emerged from my work with men. When I went back and talked to women about this, or I did interviews with both men and women, the response was, ‘it’s true. I ask him to be vulnerable, I ask him to show up, I ask him to show me the fear, but when he does it I am terrified and my response is shut that down immediately, I don’t want to see that’.” 2 likes
“Empathy heals shame; sympathy exacerbates shame. We don't want people to feel sorry for us; we want people to be with us.” 2 likes
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