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Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

3.92  ·  Rating details ·  12,164 ratings  ·  1,955 reviews
Nominated for a 2014 Grammy in the Spoken Word category!

Hilarious and heartfelt observations on aging from one of America's favorite comedians, now that he's 65, and a look back at a remarkable career.

Billy Crystal is 65, and he's not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to me
...more
Audio CD, 7 pages
Published September 10th 2013 by Macmillan Audio (first published March 12th 2013)
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John Ethier I must admit, I was a little surprised by the language and the subject matter. But for some reason, with him, it didn't seem as vulgar. I don't know…moreI must admit, I was a little surprised by the language and the subject matter. But for some reason, with him, it didn't seem as vulgar. I don't know how to explain it. Although there were definite chapters that were not for children.

As far as 80 year old parents go, I used to be worried that I would feel uncomfortable with a lot of swearing in front of my 80 year old parents. But I ending up realizing that they'd heard it all before. I wouldn't have recommended they listen to Andrew Dice Clay or anything as distasteful as that, but hey ... they were around for Lenny Bruce for cryin' out loud. But everybody's parents are different.(less)
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3.92  · 
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 ·  12,164 ratings  ·  1,955 reviews


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Diane
Your reaction to this memoir will depend on how much you like Billy Crystal's comedy style. I'm meh about him, so I'm meh about this book. Other reviewers who adore him liked this book a lot more than I did.

Billy is now 65, which he will tell you over and over again, and several chapters are devoted to his shtick about getting old. There's nothing new here, except discovering that Billy has become a cranky old man, cursing about social media and teenagers and politics. Speaking of cursing, it wa
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Connie
Though I don't listen to audio books often, this was a hit as it is narrated by Mr. Crystal in all his splendor...imitations and all! Covering his life thus far, from birth to the big 65, this is a delightful view into the life of one of the top entertainers who has somehow remained humble and seemingly normal! I laughed out loud and choked back tears as I traveled along with this talented, fortunate and grateful man. One who values family and friendships above all else.
The way he talks of the
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Crystal Starr Light
Bullet Review:

Better than Whoopi Goldberg and Ellen Degeneres, nowhere near as good as Tina Fey. Some funny parts, some interesting parts, but overall, Billy grates on you. He seems to have this obnoxious personality, and I don't always find him all that funny. Sometimes, he's an outright arrogant @$$. His "Conservative" chapter in particular made me want to punch a wall - smarted of Old White Man whining about getting Old. WAH.

I think you're opinion of this will depend on 1) how much of Billy C
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Carol
Listened to my very first audio book today and DID I LOVE IT!!!

Billy Crystal does a wonderful job of narrating some special moments of his life in Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys. If you are an older adult, (or not) like baseball, the great movie "When Harry Met Sally" (who can ever forget the infamous orgasm scene) enjoy the Oscars, and want to know about Billy's "affair" with Sophia Loren, you are in for a treat. The texting acronyms for "old

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Beth
Nov 22, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Just like any book, this book isn't for everyone. If you don't love Billy Crystal, then don't bother. If you don't love learning about the amusing and most likely embellished reflections of an aging comedian, then don't bother. If you don't enjoy a good guy talking about his positive relationships with his family, friends and other celebrities, then don't bother.

If you do enjoy Billy Crystal's work, then spend time with this book, which is even better on the audio version because Crystal narrate
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Char
What an excellent audio book!

In his mid sixties now, Billy Crystal recounts his life by decade, (my twenties, my thirties, etc...), interspersed with portions set in the present which were performed in front of a live audience. What an interesting man!

Starting with his early home life, the death of his father and his first career milestones, Billy tells his story with warmth, humility, humor and poignancy. Recounting his relationships with Muhammad Ali and Howard Cosell, Johnny Carson and Mickey
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Myrna
Sep 25, 2014 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobooks
Listened to the audiobook read by Billy Crystal himself. This book is touching at times as he shares personal stories of friends, family, and his career. Being a comedian though, he also does some standup comedy, impressions, and pokes fun at aging. I enjoyed listening to the audiobook. I don’t think I would have enjoyed the book as much. What impressed me most of all was Billy’s love for his family. It really comes through in the book.
Favorite quote: ”…Do something special on your birthday. Wh
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Cherie
I think Billy could read me the phone book and I would sit in my chair and be totally enthralled.

I loved his story and the way he told it. He made me laugh and cry and made me feel honored to be able to listen to him tell his story about his family and friends.

Billy, I hope you go on living, laughing and loving for a long, long time to come.
Allie
I thoroughly enjoyed this.

This audiobook was waiting in my Overdrive wishlist for aaaaages. Every time I scrolled through to see what I wanted to listen to next, I wondered if I even liked Billy Crystal enough to bother. In fact, I almost deleted it. I mean, sure -- I've seen Princess Bride, City Slickers and Throw Mama From the Train, but did I really want to listen to 8 hours of Billy Crystal? As it turns out, yes.

I enjoy biographies, autobiographies and memoirs. This one is now, by far, my fa
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Robin
Aug 23, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Just started and have already fallen into a couple of fits of hysterical laughter. So crass but so funny.
Alissa Patrick
One of the best, one of the funniest, one of my favorites.
bookczuk
Billy Crystal is a man I'd like to have as a friend. Unless he's really fooling lots of people, he's a real mensch. There's nothing to date in all that I know of him to give any other indication. Caring, funny, married to the same woman since he was 23, devoted to his friends and family, and able to make the world laugh.

A few things that stood out for me in this book: the people he calls close friends, who inhabit every walk of life, his love of baseball, his athleticism. There were some storie
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Mediaman
Jul 07, 2014 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This dull "memoir" is a poorly-done Cliff Notes version of the star's life and movies which tells the reader very little. Crystal brags a lot, makes a lot of outlandish false statements (which makes the whole book seem fake), tells little-to-nothing about the behind-the-scenes of his movies, and talks way too much about Mickey Mantle and the Yankees. It's a major flop.

The book opens with him spewing four-letter words and talking about sex. It makes no sense. Some chapters are just unreadable. Hi
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Cedric Hendrix
Sep 16, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
My reading tends to get too heavy. Books on politics, presidential biographies, history, Game of Thrones ... the weight of the words can be too much at times.

So it was refreshing to read Billy Crystal's memoir, which I flew through in just a couple of days. It was just what my literary mind needed: something lighter, but with substance.

I don't consider myself a die-hard Crystal fan, per se. He just has a knack for showing up in projects I have enjoyed over the years, like Running Scared, The P
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Paul E. Morph
Jul 16, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
What made the experience of listening to Still Foolin' 'Em the most enjoyable?
The fact it's narrated by Crystal himself. If you're a fan of his stand-up or movies, you will love this book.

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I laughed and cried in almost equal measure. This is a deeply personal piece for Crystal and you can feel the emotion and meaning in every line. You can't fail to be moved and you'll be laughing out loud despite yourself. I wouldn't s
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Jay
Feb 26, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: media, audiobook
Interesting book, one that I found in terms fascinating and redundant. I listened to this on audio, with Crystal doing the narrating. In the case of this book, I should call it performing, though. The book begins with Crystal recorded performing in front of a live audience, and he’s not telling stories of his life, he’s doing standup about being old. And to my taste, not very good standup – I didn’t get any chuckles out of his live performances. But the book takes a turn toward the more interest ...more
Emmett Spain
Sep 12, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A warm, insightful, crudely hilarious, and poignant memoir of sorts that reads like a collection of essays or comedy bits, mixed in with a loose autobiography. Do yourself a favour and pick up the audiobook - Crystal reads some sections in front of a live audience, where he is clearly most at home. It's a beautiful read of personal material, as funny as it is moving.
Cori
Sep 17, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Only on chapter 6, but I must recommend this book. So very funny! If you have the chance, listen to the audio version narrated by Mr. Crystal. Can't get any better!
Vicki
I listened to this as an audio book. It was fun and charming and whimsical. I particularly enjoyed the behind-the-scenes looks at Billy's movies, and had no idea he'd rubbed elbows with so many famous people. It was particularly nice to hear Billy read this himself, as he was able to convey every thought and emotion as he intended, that could've been lost if just reading the book for myself.
Ray Campbell
Feb 23, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-2014
This would be a straight forward autobiography/memoir, except that it is Billy Crystal. I've never laughed while simultaneously choked up as much, in fact, if ever, as I was reading this. Crystal is from Long Beach where my father-in-law grew up. In addition, my family is from Brooklyn. So, as Billy Crystal described his childhood and told stories about his youth, I knew the sites, the smells, the silly wallpaper... the ambiance of his childhood. I am more than ten years younger than Crystal, bu ...more
Jody
Jan 19, 2016 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I liked Billy Crystal. Then I listened to this audiobook. Now I don't like Billy Crystal.

Wow, this is the epitome of what I don't like about "celebrity" memoirs. Self-indulgent, smug and dull. He's friends with Muhammad Ali. He loves the Yankees. He's friends with Mickey Mantle. In case you forget ... he reminds you that he's friends with Muhammad Ali continually throughout the book. Seriously. All the damn time. Did I mention that he's friends with Muhammad Ali?

I don't want to hear about his pe
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Carole P. Roman
May 17, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Delightful and funny trip down memory lane with Billy Crystal. At sixty five, he writes a fascinating and touching memoir that resonates with every baby boomer. Never mind that he is a creative comedian, a brilliant writer, a movie star, baseball fanatic; Billy and the reader have much in common, there is something there for everyone. He is able to tap into your very heart finding the common bonds of society, whether it is as a spouse, parent, grandparent, brother or son. This is a people's biog ...more
Jess
Jan 23, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I was born in the mid 80’s right when Billy Crystal was becoming big. So I missed out on his comic genius when it was occurring, which makes me very thankful that I picked up this book (well listened to it on audiobook, because seriously you need to hear a comic read their own material)

It was really fascinating listening to his life and his career. He was good friends with mega celebrities like Mickey Mantle and Muhammad Ali. (Okay Billy Crystal was friends with almost everyone) His stories abou
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Marla
Jul 02, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I'm a big Billy Crystal fan. I've always thought he has been one of the few stars who seemed grounded and real. This book shows how much he is a family man and. I love that he and Janice have been married for over 45 years and have lived in the same house for that long. He still gets start struck and he hasn't let fame blow his head up. I enjoyed the live audience sections of the audio book. There were times in this book where I was laughing so hard I was snorting and had I been drinking I would ...more
Mary Sisney
Oct 26, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Maybe because he's exactly one year and one day older than I am, I've always been interested in fellow baby boomer and Pisces Billy Crystal, so I knew I would enjoy his memoir. As I expected, his book was hilarious. I especially enjoyed Billy's descriptions of how age has changed him. What I didn't expect was how touching his book would be. He has written not only a comic memoir but also a love story. He expresses his love for sports and athletes, especially Muhammad Ali and Mickey Mantle, for e ...more
Mary Grace
Feb 23, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Absolutely hysterical. I love Billy Crystal in pretty much everything, and I adore him that much more for his exceptional writing. I kept stopping and starting this book for whenever I had a few minutes to giggle, but I'm glad I finally got around to finishing it. Really, truly hilarious.
Ollies_Mom
Nov 16, 2013 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: unfinished
I thought I found Billy Crystal funny...until I picked up this book. I'm on page 44 and so sick of him talking about his peni$ (are we allowed to write that word on Goodreads?), that this is going back to the library today. If I could rate it <1, I would.
Jen Bernardini
Aug 20, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was one of the most entertaining audiobooks that I've listened to thus far. It's narrated by Billy Crystal so you get his humor and funny voices thrown into the mix. There are also parts of this book that are performed in front of a live audience, much like stand up comedy.

70% of this book was extremely entertaining to me. Learning about his life, how he became the entertainer he is today, all the starts and stops along his way. Honestly, it gives me hope for myself!

30% of the book is base
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Rob Eelkema
Dec 01, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The first two chapters of this book was a laugh a minute!! My suggestion is that every man older than 50 read the first two chapters. Not too say women should not read it but it relates to getting older and what happens to your body as a man.

Regarding the book itself, very good “behind the scenes” of Billy Crystals life. What a talented guy and a very sincere person! Highly recommend this book

Renee
Oct 05, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I listened to the audiobook read by Billy Crystal. Sometimes I laughed and sometimes I had tears in my eyes. I do not want to add any spoilers, but I will say the section just before the epilogue is what pushed my review from 4 stars to 5.
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Bookworm Bitches : March 2014: Still Foolin' 'Em 18 128 Jul 26, 2016 08:28AM  

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William Jacob Crystal is a Golden Globe Award-nominated and Emmy Award-winning American actor, writer, producer, comedian, and film director. He gained prominence in the 1970s for playing Richard Mulligan's & Cathryn Damon's TV son, Jodie Dallas, on the ABC comedy-drama, Soap, and became a Hollywood film star during the late 1980s and 1990s, appearing in the box office successes When Harry Met ...more
“Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.” 14 likes
“Westboro Baptist Church: STOP. Stop protesting the funerals of our soldiers who died in action because you are anti-gay. When one of you dies, I’m going to show up with a couple of gay veterans and we’re going to do a musical at your funeral.” 12 likes
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