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Song Without Words: Discovering My Deafness Halfway through Life

Gerald Shea

3.69 · Rating details · 99 ratings · 25 reviews

Much has been written about the profoundly deaf, but the lives of the nearly 30 million partially deaf people in the United States today remain hidden. Song without Words tells the astonishing story of a man who, at the age of thirty-four, discovered that he had been deaf since childhood, yet somehow managed to navigate his way through Andover, Yale, and Columbia Law Schoo ...more

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Hardcover, 308 pages

Published February 26th 2013 by Da Capo Press (first published February 1st 2013)

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Mar 15, 2014 Lynn rated it really liked it

Shelves: memior, medicine, education, autobiography, boys, technology, science, non-fiction, wishlist, disability

Gerald Shea is one of the elite. His family is well to do and traveling around the world is nothing to them. He went Andover, Yale and Columbia Law school and was able to get a job at a prestigious law firm, eventually going into International Law. But as a lawyer he struggled in courtrooms and in big meetings and noisy places. He had done so much of his life but it hadn't become so apparent until he went to work. Finally he lands a job with Exxon Mobile which requires a hearing test because an ...more

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Jan 15, 2016 Karen rated it really liked it

Shelves: nonfiction, biography-memoir, deafness, social-issues

An utterly fascinating account of a man who accomplished remarkable things—the rigors of Yale and Columbia Law School, and the pressures of a career in legal/financial negotiation—without realizing that he was hard of hearing. Since he lost most of his hearing around age six, he had already acquired language skills. But until middle age (when he was finally diagnosed), he simply thought that everyone had trouble understanding what others were saying; they just decoded it more quickly and ably th ...more

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Dec 13, 2013 Anna rated it liked it

Shelves: 2016-reading-challenge, memoir-biography, non-fiction

Very interesting and a times beautifully written, but also somewhat exhausting to make it through not only the strings of "lyricals" but also the extended passages of corporate law which did not really add much to the story. The interspersed history of the teaching of the deaf was fascinating but I am not sure I draw all the same conclusions about what is best as the author does. ...more

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Apr 17, 2014 Donna rated it really liked it

The guy may be deaf but he is not dumb.

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Aug 02, 2020 Alyssa rated it really liked it

Shelves: 3-and-a-half-stars, memoir

Actual rating 3.5 stars

Mr. Shea has lived a remarkable life given all the challenges presented by his partial deafness. He’s clearly reflected a lot on his situation and the history of deaf education, and the historical and scientific additions to his personal story were really informative. The way he talks about - or at least passes on the ideas of others - about the importance of language/how communication shapes our lives was very thoughtful and poetic.

However, I got a bit disinterested with ...more

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Jan 02, 2018 Bryan rated it really liked it

The description of what it is like to be partially deaf is accurate. There is so much more to it than volume. We who are partially deaf (aka hard of hearing) live between the Deaf and hearing worlds. This book provides a profound description of what it is like to live in that language-limbo.

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Apr 06, 2018 Dodie Williams rated it really liked it

He has put into words what my life is like with a hearing loss. I feel comfort that I am not alone.

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Sep 08, 2013 Tom rated it it was amazing

Shelves: autobiography, medical-behavioral-psychology, non-fiction

It is estimated that in the U.S. there are 38 M people with hearing loss. That number is bound to increase. Those who are totally deaf, the deaf community, have been eloquently written about by Oliver Sacks (Hearing Voices) and others. This book, however, is about the hard of hearing, or rather about once such individual who discovered his hearing loss in his adulthood.
Gerald Shea was a successful New York lawyer who, despite having a severe hearing deficit, managed to get through Yale and then It is estimated that in the U.S. there are 38 M people with hearing loss. That number is bound to increase. Those who are totally deaf, the deaf community, have been eloquently written about by Oliver Sacks (Hearing Voices) and others. This book, however, is about the hard of hearing, or rather about once such individual who discovered his hearing loss in his adulthood.
Gerald Shea was a successful New York lawyer who, despite having a severe hearing deficit, managed to get through Yale and then Columbia law school graduating with straight A’s. The extreme demands of being a junior in a large and well known law firm, plus his communication difficulties the existence of which were unknown to him, contrived to make his personal life a bit of a shambles of broken relationships. A mandatory company physical that included an audiogram discovered that he was partially deaf. He denied this for as long as possible, but once he came to grips with it (advice from an associate who could see his struggles was: you have a problem, deal with it), he explored not only hearing aids (his oiseaux lyre ) and other technical solutions, but also took classes in lip reading. Throughout his story there are useful digressions on the nature of sound, the amplification characteristics of hearing devices and the history of societal approaches to the deaf and hard of hearing. He describes his lyricals or transitional language which he uses to translate what he hears others say into the presumed meaning. Since those with high frequency hearing loss are more able to hear the low range tones of vowels (which tend to carry the attitude or intention of a word) rather than consonants (which convey more the meaning of a word), his lyricals tend to be short strings of consonants from which he tries to construct meaning, given the context. Amazingly he made it through law school and most of a career unaware that he was different from others who he assumed must just be smarter than he was since they ‘caught on ‘ so quickly.
There was a great deal of his experiences to which I could easily relate. His descriptions of how easily he becomes marginalized while two of his colleagues converse and he is unable to follow or participate in the conversation, for example (p 176). He is advised by one professional that the energy expended by the hard of hearing to follow normal vocal discourse commonly causes fatigue. The term ‘le regard du sourd’ refers to the tendency of the hard of hearing to focus on the speakers lips to aid in their understanding was new to me, as was the tendency to dress in a way that draws people’s attention away from the eyes and ears. He summarizes the way in which the deaf (a community in their own right with their own language of sign) and the hard of hearing differ. The latter he feels are not as well off as the former “…for we have to combine our dual paths of understanding, our eyes and our ears, to get the message in a medium in which we are not at home…As members of the hearing world-partly in , partly out-we have to make do with these imperfect paths to our mind’s highly developed and sophisticated devices. But our effort to use them, every moment of our waking lives, helps us to remain members of Babian’s commerce of souls and to retain our sanity.” P183
Shea is clearly someone with a remarkable intelligence and when combined with a hard work ethic he accomplishes a great deal. At no point does he speculate about what happens to those many individuals with a similar degree of hearing loss who aren’t of above average intelligence or who are from less advantaged economic circumstances. He does connect with the deaf and hard of hearing community, but seems to lack any insight into how other people’s experiences might differ from his. There is a bit of a narcissistic streak in him. That observation isn’t meant to detract in any way from his accomplishments which are remarkable, but to point out that there is much more to be understood about the challenges of the hard of hearing community.
There are very useful references at the end of this book. It will be of interest to anyone who is hard of hearing or lives or works with them.
...more

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Sep 06, 2013 Honeybee rated it really liked it

An advance copy of this book was given to me to review. What a pleasure it was to read!

I had the privilege of growing up with extra-sensitive hearing, but have lost a good portion of that sense, due to exposure to an out-of-control alarm system at a previous job. I have also worked with hearing impaired persons and was taught a bit of sign language, so this book captured my interest right away. Aside from a few technical explanations of deafness, sound transmissions, etc., that were a bit challe An advance copy of this book was given to me to review. What a pleasure it was to read!

I had the privilege of growing up with extra-sensitive hearing, but have lost a good portion of that sense, due to exposure to an out-of-control alarm system at a previous job. I have also worked with hearing impaired persons and was taught a bit of sign language, so this book captured my interest right away. Aside from a few technical explanations of deafness, sound transmissions, etc., that were a bit challenging, this book was one of the most engaging biographies I have ever laid eyes on.

Gerald Shea was born a hearing child, but a combination of scarlet fever and chicken pox during his 6th year significantly damaged his inner ear. Since his hearing had been tested in first grade before his illness, he and everyone in his family just assumed he was fine. It was only his incredible intellect and his grasp of the rhythm of human speech that enabled him to function so well in the hearing world for almost three decades, before a complete physical for a new job revealed a monstrous deficit in his hearing abilities.

The author is a master at bringing us into his world. He lets you see how he would use what he called "lyricals" to progress from the nonsense words he thought he heard to what was actually being said. In the text, you get to see the transitional words and experimentation required for him to understand a simple statement or comprehend a technical explanation. He also expresses his love for music, of all things, and how this actually helped him communicate. This nearly deaf man opens the door of his heart and soul to allow the reader to experience his trials and tragedies. He also shares his opinions about the advantage of allowing the deaf to retain their "first language" of sign, so they can more effectively communicate and connect with fellow human beings.

If you have an interest in or have contact with the hearing impaired, you really must read this book. If your hearing is less than perfect, this book may be something of an encouragement--especially to see how successful this man was, in spite of his limitations. More books like this should be written by those who have "beat the odds" and come out ahead, in spite of human frailty. ...more

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Feb 01, 2013 Nancy Kennedy rated it it was amazing

At age six, Gerald Shea suffered bouts of both scarlet fever and chicken pox, which permanently damaged his hearing. Although he still had some hearing, his were not the functioning ears that others enjoyed. But he doesn't know it. When a teacher tells him, "Come get a black pencil," he hears, "Come get a plaa bencer."

Mr. Shea spends thirty years of his life interpreting the speech of others, puzzled that other people do not seem to have the overwhelming task of interpretation that he has. He d ...more

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Nov 15, 2013 Vontel rated it really liked it

Well worth reading if you know someone who is partially deaf, and probably even if you don't, since there are many people who are partially deaf and may not even realize it, and we may not realize it either. Well researched and also an excellent human story, which is enlightening to hearing people. Gerald Shea was born hearing but had cochlear damage as a child from scarlet fever, although he didn't know it and neither did his family. He managed to become a successfully practicing corporate lawy ...more

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May 28, 2013 Sandra rated it liked it

A truly fascinating story. Gerald Shea lost much of his hearing in early childhood as a result of scarlet fever combined with chicken pox, but he made it into his 30s before his problem was ever diagnosed. He knew that he had to struggle to make sense of spoken words (his hearing loss essentially removed most of the consonants, and he had to labour over reconstructing what people said based on his garbled perceptions). However, he assumed everyone else was doing the same thing, and made it throu ...more

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May 16, 2014 Deborah rated it liked it

Recommends it for: book clubs

Gerald Shea has overcome a seemingly impossible handicap through sheer will power and a bit of unconscious denial. The account fascinates, but is in sore need of an editor. The first two chapters are biographical; the following three chapters are biological and one has to persevere through the inner canal of the ear to come out to the story again. Some of the ladies in my book clubs didn't make it, which is a shame because there is more to learn. Shea is remarkable, although a bit austere and hi ...more

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Feb 21, 2015 Wendell Hennan rated it it was amazing

wearing two hearing aids myself and being significantly deaf for the past 12 years, this book was so comforting. So many parallels, guessing at words and trying to piece them into the context of the conversation, pretending to have heard what was said, striving to hear through multiple conversations, worrying what other meeting participants will think of your hearing paraphernalia and adjusting to hearing aids which help but are far from perfect and full hearing. Hard to believe that his hearing ...more

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May 25, 2014 Jean rated it liked it

I was diagnosed with a 40 db hearing loss when I was 20. Now I have 120 db loss and hearing aids barely help. Where I thought it wasn't the best written book I've read it certainly hit home with trying to decipher what people were and are saying. I felt a lot of empathy for the author. I wish I had his capacity in breaking down people's words though. ...more

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Apr 16, 2013 Joanna Eng rated it really liked it

A unique life story. I'd recommend it to people who have experience with or are curious about hearing loss, as well as people who have ever felt different from others in some essential way; plus corporate communications types!

I actually read this partially for work purposes. See my review at http://www.grandpianopassion.com/2013... ...more

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Sep 12, 2013 Pat Baratta rated it really liked it

Gerald Shea's story is remarkable. How one can go through life not knowing one is deaf is amazing. He went to Yale, Columbia Law School and practiced law around the world, dealing with clients speaking many different languages. A truly remarkable man!! ...more

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Dec 13, 2013 Melissa marked it as to-read

Shelves: book-club, did-not-finish

I tried...I just can't get into it. I'm not an avid non-fiction reader so it had to really draw me in. First book club book I haven't finished, but my girls will let me come to the meeting anyway! DNF ...more

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May 09, 2013 Liisa rated it liked it

I found this story fascinating, but I'm not sure it really justified stretching to novel length. ...more

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Mar 16, 2013 Cynthia rated it really liked it

4.5 stars. How does one go through life dealing with partial deafness yet not knowing it? Gerald Shea is an amazing person and a more-than-adequate author of a fascinating memoir.

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